Music, Ink, and Love (10 page)

We stayed at the shop late and ordered pizza. Even Tyler showed up and ate with us.

“I came here to tell you that Bekka is worried about you, Lev.” His eyes serious, not leaving mine. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting up all week.” I was touched of how concerned he was about me.

“I can’t say that I’m okay, but I’m here trying to go on with my life.” I paused. “I can’t wait to hear from her.” No letter, no email or phone call. It drove me insane.

He sighed and hesitated at first. “Usually, the first week is the hardest one. They may not allow any contact with her family or friends.”

“Shit!” It came out of my mouth before I could process it.

“I know, man. But the good news is that they are working with her. Hammering her demons. Cleaning out the temptation. She is getting the treatment she needs. Keep her in your thoughts and heart.”

“She always is.”

“She’ll be alright, brother. She is strong and she wasn’t deep into drugs. She’s not a cocaine or crystal med addict. She relapsed, right, but she is far from being a crackhead.”

“She’s got this, I know she does. She’ll be back stronger than ever. I think I’m doing worse than her. It’s harder for me not being with her.”

“It’s normal, you built a routine with her and while you’re doing everything like usual, she’s not here. Suck it up, it’s only for a short period of time.

“He is pussy-whipped, Tyler.”

My fist hit his shoulder hard, he winced. “Shut up, K.” We all laughed.

“He’s right, though, you really are.”

I laughed louder, as if he wasn’t completely losing his mind over Bekka. “You can’t even stay away from Bekka for more than an hour. You think you are better than me but you’re just as bad.”

“Alright, alright. You’re right, she got me by the balls.” He chuckled. “But I love her, damn, she’s perfect me for and accepts me and...” We were silent, expecting Tyler to say more but he didn’t. “I’ve got to pick up Bekka and then, head to the club.”

“I don’t think I’ll stop by tonight, man. I think I’m going to go home and relax. Have a beer and watch...”

“Porn.” K cut me off, proud of himself.

“No, not porn, idiot. I want to watch a movie, a regular one on the movie channel. I honestly just want to be home.”

Kyle nodded not believing a word of what I had said.

Tyler left and I followed him.

The nights were getting colder and colder. My hoodie was starting to run too thin, I had to get something warmer for the future. I stayed warm under the hood and hid my hands in my front pocket. What kind of idea was it to walk home? Now I was freezing my ass off. “Good idea, Levi.” I murmured to myself.

It was a few minutes past nine when I got home. The apartment was cold and empty. I missed all the energy I used to feel when I moved here. The smell of Nix’s body spray or their frozen lasagna cooking in the oven. I smiled thinking of having one for myself. Why not? I didn’t waste any more time and took a carton box from the freezer and placed the frozen lasagna into the oven. I couldn’t believe how three girls had planned to eat that many lasagnas without getting sick or gaining fifty pounds. While it cooked, I jumped in the shower to warm up and as soon as I shut the water down I heard my phone ringing. I grabbed a towel and ran to my phone, hitting my toe against the corner of the coffee table. Too scared to miss the call, I didn’t take the time to look at the screen to see who was calling.

“Hello.” I say out of breath and in pain, convinced I had broken a toe.

“Levi.”

“Huh... yeah... it’s me.” I was familiar with the voice. “Who is it?”

“King... It’s Brian. I want to talk to Phoenix.” He paused. “I need to explain myself. When you guys came to visit, I screwed up and now I’m regretting everything.”

“Nix isn’t here. She is in a rehab center, trying to get help after her father wasted all of her years of hard work. She is a mess right now and she doesn’t want to see you again, Brian.”

I thought I heard a sob coming out of his mouth.

“You had one chance to make it right after a life of regrets and you blew it. Leave her alone. She deserves that much.” I said. I could hear the anger in my voice.

“Can you at least tell her I’m sorry?” His voice broke down. I felt his pain because Phoenix had the power to get anyone’s attention and love. I had to protect her from him.

“I can’t promise anything. I haven’t talked to her since she checked in.”

“She’s in my prayers, Levi. She always has been.”

“I have to get going now, Brian. Please, don’t make it harder for her than it already is.” I hung up not wanting to hear what he had to say. Telling Nix about him wasn’t a good idea for the moment. She had to keep Brian away from her thoughts. She had to move forward and get her strength back.

I wasn’t opposed to telling her when the time was right.

The pain coming from my toe finally brought me back to the present. I could feel my heart beating in my toe. It required some ice now. I jumped on one foot all the way to the freezer. “God damn it, as if it was necessary to deal with this.”

I applied a bag of green beans on it and it hurt just as much as it felt good. I tried to put my foot back on the floor at the same time as my cell phone started to ring. “Brian!” I shoot angrily.

“I told you not to call again.”

“Baby?”

“Nix. Oh baby.” All the emotions of the past days came rushing at me. I wanted to jump up and down with happiness, I wanted to cry or smile, I wanted her. “How are you doing? How is it?”

“It’s challenging, I’m better now than when I arrived. They are great and I think in the end, I’ll benefit from it. At first, I felt like they were tearing me apart, but they only had to go to the source of my issue.”

“I’m so happy to hear from you and glad that you are doing better. I miss you so much, babe.” I sighed, happy, hoping I wasn’t dreaming. “I’m glad they are helping you get better. You’re so important to me.”

“I love you, Levi. I’ll be back in no time.”

I chuckled. “I never thought I would say this but take your time. I don’t want you to rush anything. I want you to leave rehab when you feel a hundred percent.”

“And then, we’ll get married.” I could hear her smile in her voice. The ring in her voice seemed lighter and more cheerful than before. I was thankful for that.

“You’ll be the prettiest bride ever.” I promised her.

“I have to go, already. I’ll call when they let me. Take care. Say ‘hi’ to Bekka for me.”

“I love you, babe.” The line went dead. “Rock Star?” I waited. “Babe... I love you.” I looked at my phone, a smile appeared on my face. She called and seemed okay. So many things popped into my head, things I wanted to tell her. I could have talked to her for hours.
And then, we’ll get married
, she said. Fucking right!

Just as I was about to jump like a fool, I remembered my toe and stopped mid-movement. I texted Bekka.

Levi: Nix says Hi. She seemed better.

Few minutes later.

Bekka: She called you? What did she say?

Levi: It wasn’t easy at first but now, she is doing better and she still wants to marry me.

Bekka: Of course. She loves you. Thanks for letting me know.

Levi: Night.

Bekka: Night old man.

The couch was calling my name. I turned on the TV and switched to the movie channel. There was nothing more I wanted than to sit down, but the lasagna was almost ready. I placed the bag of green beans on my foot again and took two Advil’s hoping that it would numb the pain.

Relaxing on the couch with my tummy full, a big smile on my face and the latest action movie... Tonight ended up being good. Of course, Brian called but he got the message now. We didn’t need him in our lives and his chance to have Nix in his life had been taken away from him the second he took her backstage. Unfortunately for him, he learned the hard way, protecting Nix meant everything to me.

Waking up early morning, still on the couch with the sun rays lightening the room, I limped all the way back to my room. With Nix away, all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt lazy but I really was tired and stressed.

T
he second and third weeks flew by. I got few more phone calls from Nix and she seemed well, most of the time. The one thing I hated about her phone calls was how short they were. She mentioned our marriage again and I couldn’t be happier. She had started looking at dates in her downtime at the center. If I could marry her within the month, I would. I didn’t want to wait too long. Nix had mentioned June or July, after her graduation. She was able to follow a few of her class online, thankfully.

We were coming closer to the end of the fourth week now. From what Nix had mentioned, she would be out soon. I hoped this week was the last one. I wanted her back. No words could explain how much I missed her. A part of me was missing.

Tyler and Bekka had invited me for dinner tonight, so I drove to his place right after work. I had been working a lot this week. It seemed to be the high season of the college girls getting tattooed. Some of the girls were brave enough to get bigger pieces, half a sleeve or back piece. Things were changing, I presumed. To some people, tattoos were just a trend but to all the people wearing them, it was permanent. A permanent piece of art.

I knocked on Ty’s door. He lived on the second floor of the club. His apartment was huge and completely remodelled. This place looked like a crackhead hole when he bought the building but now, it was worth a lot of money.

“Hey, man, come in.” I heard Bekka say hi from the back.

There was music playing in the back, some kind of smooth lounge beat. Bekka seemed really happy to see me and it felt odd. She hugged me really tightly. I hadn’t seen her much lately maybe that was why. I was clueless really.

“Do you want something to drink?” Ty asked. He had a bottle of wine opened on the counter, but I felt like having a beer.

“A beer, if you have one.”

He offered me an imported beer from Germany. It tasted really good, different.

“You can go in the living room, I’ll meet you there. I’m just going to get the chips and salsa ready.”

I nodded. Why were they so weird? They were all acting formal and shit. So unlike Ty. He was normally laid back and relaxed but now, he sounded nervous and off. Were they fighting? Sitting on the couch, I heard a door crack and some noise coming from the kitchen, but I didn’t turn to look around. Instead, I drank my beer and listened to Ty’s music, trying to rid myself of that odd feeling.

Two warm hands came from behind me, and slid from my neck to under my t-shirt to my chest. Holy Mary Jesus. “Nix.” I choked up. The emotions came rushing at me, happiness mostly but also, the relief of all the stress

I stood up, letting go of her hand for a very short moment. I pulled her to me over the couch. I had to touch her, kiss her. Anything to really believe that she was here. “Star.” I kissed her lips. “My Star.” I held her in my arms with a tear rolling down my cheek. “When did you get here?”

“I got here two hours ago. I wanted to surprise you and I also didn’t want you or anyone to throw a party for my return. Bekka offered to have a dinner here and I thought it was perfect.”

“You’re so beautiful, Star. I missed you so fucking much and now, you’re here.” I pulled her into my arms and I held her so freaking tightly as if she would go away from me again. “Stay with me... Stay with me, Nix.”

“I’m here, I’m back.”

“How are you doing? Tell me everything.”

“It’s been hard, emotionally draining, but I’m better now. I learned a lot about myself and I’m stronger and I decided I don’t want to see Brian again.”

“I already made it clear with him that we wouldn’t see him again.” I closed my eyes at the memories of him. “I had never been so angry with someone, Nix.”

“I know and I lost myself when we saw him. Confusion, stress and a whole bunch of shit came through me. Levi, I’m so sorry for everything.”

I kissed her lips, loving the sensation of them. “Don’t be sorry. I’m glad we’re back together and mostly, I want you happy. I want you to tell me how you feel, good or bad.”

“I will.”

She encircled my waist into her arms and I thought I was about to break down. My vision got fuzzy and tears invaded my eyes. “Babe, you have no idea how good it feels to have you in my arms right now.” I kissed her hair. “This day is fucking perfect. I have my fiancée with me again.”

“I know exactly how you feel, Angel, because I feel the same way. I can’t wait to be home with you.”

Oh hell yes, I couldn’t wait to be home with her again. Her energy, her smell, everything that went missing the day she entered rehab. The bed wouldn’t be so big and cold anymore. Her nice body would be glued to mine. “I can’t wait either.” I sniffled.

Nix looked up to me, her stare surprised. “Don’t cry, Angel. This is a good day.”

“So good that I can’t stop myself from crying. You are my life, the reason my heart beats.”

She dried my tears with the back of her hand and stood on her tiptoes to reach my lips. She mouthed to me quietly that she loved me.

“Can we join you guys now?” Bekka asked, curious.

“Of course, but don’t expect her to leave me side, not even for a second.”