Music Notes (37 page)

Without speaking, Beau offers me a wet hand. I take it without hesitation and he pulls me through the water and into his lap. I straddle him, truly feeling the softness of his skin for the first time. The hot water only seems to magnify the heat of the moment. His erection presses against my core as he runs his wet hands up my neck and threads them into my hair.

I shiver from the mixture of his touch and the cool air as his lips finally meet mine. The kiss starts hesitant as if testing the waters or waiting for me to change my mind, but that isn’t happening. And it doesn’t take long until this kiss turns raw. Unadulterated need and lust. The dam breaks, and we’re all hands and lips and teeth. I grind my center against him as his tongue plunges deep into my mouth. He tastes like alcohol and something I can only associate with Beau. It’s a taste I’ll never forget. And never get enough of.

Beau runs his left hand down my neck and touches my chest. Lightning strikes my slick core as he plays with my nipples, pulling and massaging them with his calloused fingers. The moan that escapes my mouth is swallowed up by the night as I close my eyes, absorbed and lost in the feel of his hands on me.

After showering each breast with plenty of attention, his hand finally glides downward. When he touches my center, I almost come completely undone. I whimper as his fingers stroke and tease the very essence of me. When I open my eyes, they collide with black, dilated pupils. I’m just about to lean forward and kiss those delicious lips when I feel the first finger enter me. The sensation is out of this world, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I uncontrollably roll against his hand, intensifying the feel of his hand against my clit. When he adds the second finger, I’m lost. His lips attack mine with ferocious hunger as he glides his fingers through the wetness inside of me, bringing me towards the edge of release. My entire body is flying high as my internal muscles lock around his fingers, pulling him deeper than I ever thought possible. His thumb grazes the little bundle of nerves and I soar over the edge. I shatter into a million tiny pieces as I come violently on his hand.

Beau slows down as I start to float down from the clouds. “I will never get the image of you coming like that out of my head. When I’m old and gray, I will still imagine this moment and remember it with such precision, such detail. But right now, I need to be inside you.” His words fuel the fire I didn’t know was still smoldering. My body rages back to life, ready for another round.

“But not here. Not in a hot tub. I want to take you for the first time in a bed,” he adds as he places open-mouthed kisses on my lips, cheeks, and chin.

“Okay,” I reply, not about to deny us this moment.

Beau stands up with me still locked around his waist. He steps out of the hot tub, careful not to slip and fall on the now wet deck. The air is cold and sends chills through my body as Beau walks through the French door leading to my suite. Gently, he sets me down on the edge of the bed, but I don’t let go. I pull him down on top of me as I lie back on the bedspread.

I kiss his lips with such intensity that it steals my breath, not that I could really breathe right now anyway. Beau’s weight deliciously presses down on my entire body as his hands begin to explore me once again. When he reaches my center, he finds that I’m still wet with want.

“God, you’re so wet,” he whispers against my lips.

“You. You do this to me,” I reply as his lips caress mine and my legs tighten around his hips.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his eyes searching my own.

“More than I’ve ever been sure about anything in my life,” I tell him honestly.

And now we both step over the line–together. So far over that line that I can’t even see it anymore.

“I need to go get protection,” he says as he runs his hands up my sides and caresses my chest.

“I don’t want you to leave. I’m clean, I promise. And I’m on birth control,” I confess.

“I’m clean, too. I swear. I get tested every six months and I was tested before this season started.”

“Then make love to me without it,” I whisper as his eyes widen.

“Yes, m’am,” he answers as he slides us both up the bed. He lays me out and takes in my wet, naked body. I don’t feel the cold air anymore. No, it’s replaced by the raging inferno of desire that can only be associated with Beau Tanner.

With gentle precision, Beau lines up his pulsating erection at my entrance. Our eyes are locked as he slowly starts to push forward.

“Mine,” he whispers the moment he’s completely seated inside of me. From root to tip, he fills me so wholly and perfectly. My mind blanks from the intense sensations of our intimate connection. We continue to stare deeply into each other’s eyes as we become one for the first time.

After several silent moments, which allow me to adjust to the size of him, a fine sheen of sweat breaks out over his brow. “I have to move, baby,” he confesses as his face tightens.

“Then move, Beau,” I direct.

He starts out slow and easy as my insides loosen up to accommodate him. His lips are tender and soft as he slowly slides in and out of me. I can see the moment that his fragile control starts to slip. His face becomes tighter and his breathing more labored. As if completely on its own, his body starts to pick up the pace. He takes me for the ride of my life as our bodies slap and grind towards a shared release. I keep my legs firmly locked around his narrow hips as he slams his body into me with enough force to rattle the bedframe.

The sound of our bodies connecting and our moans of pleasure are the only sounds in the room. Beau pushes me higher and higher towards orgasm. His hands grip and slide along my skin as if he can’t get enough of my body, pushing me to the point of no return. When I can’t hang on any longer, I let myself slide over the edge of oblivion. Beau joins me moments later, our bodies as one while our mutual releases throw us orbiting into another world. A world where only we exist. Us. Together.

When we both start to gain control of our breathing, Beau slides his body from within mine. He curls up against me, pulling me tightly so that not even air can slip between our connected bodies. His warmth wraps around me, heating me better than the blanket we lie on ever could.

“I care for you, Layne. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone before,” Beau whispers into the dark. The meaning is evident, but doesn’t send me into the panic attack that I expected to come with that sort of revelation. Maybe because I care for him more than I ever have before too.

So when I reply, the words are honest and easy. “Me, too.”

We lie in silence for several minutes as the implications hang over us. There’s no going back. Hell, I wouldn’t even if I could.

“Tell me about the song. I couldn’t find it online when I looked it up.”

“I wrote it,” he answers, confirming what I deep down probably already knew.

“It’s a beautiful song. I really like it.”

“It’s for you. I wrote it for you.”

The air is expelled from my lungs as I feel his arms strengthen around me like he’s afraid I’m going to bolt. But what he doesn’t know is that I won’t. I can’t. Even as the fear of being hurt, being betrayed, niggles in the back of my mind, I force it back and won’t let it take root. Beau isn’t Colton.

“Thank you. It’s the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, except for Eli,” I say.

“We’ve got a big decision to make, Layne. Tonight was so much more than sex. At least it was for me,” he says.

“It was for me, too.”

“Good. We have a choice to make about the show. We can go on, pretending this night didn’t happen and finish out the last two weeks. Or we go to the network and pull out.”

I’ve already thought about this choice. We can go about our lives and finish out the show, but then I have to live with the fact that I broke the contract and didn’t tell anyone. Can I live with that decision? Or we tell the network and risk lawsuits. It’s not an easy decision, but a necessary one.

Whatever we decide, we will do it together. Because when it’s all said and done, we both made the decision to sleep together. We both broke the agreement within the documents we signed. We both destroyed our futures on
Rising Star
.

And now we have to deal with the consequences.

Note to self: Even when your world shatters around you, smile.

I knock on the door and wait for the answer. I’m practically shaking in my black dress slacks and stylish pink top. I should have worn flats for this moment, but there’s something about a great pair of heels that seems to raise your confidence. So, heels it is.

“Come in,” I hear from the other side of the door.

I step through the entryway and come face to face with the six faces I met with several weeks ago. Could it really have been that long since I was advised to flirt with Beau? So much has happened since that day.

“Thank you for seeing me,” I say as confidently as I can muster as I step forward and sit in the swivel office chair facing the room.

“I have to admit, your request for this meeting was a bit of a surprise and has piqued our interest,” Jackson Zimmerman says from his post at the head of the table.

“The reason I’m here is simple. I have broken the contract in which I signed before coming on this show.”

“Which part of the contract did you break?” he asks with his eyebrows arched, his chin casually resting on his right fist as if he has not a care in the world.

“The part about not engaging in a sexual relationship with a show coach,” I tell him confidently, not breaking eye contact.

That makes him sit up straighter. “I see. And I take it you broke the agreement with Beau Tanner?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I see. You are aware that the document you signed states that you can be sued within full reach of this network and the record label for breach of contract, correct?”

“Sir, I am aware of that clause. It wasn’t my intention to deceive the network or the label, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t come clean.”

“Your honesty is appreciated, Miss Carter. I’m afraid that we’re going to have to consult with Legal and discuss the terms of the agreement.”

“I understand, sir. Thank you for your time,” I say as I stand up.

“We’ll be in touch shortly, Miss Carter.”

“Of course, sir.” As I step towards the door, I hesitate and turn back to the room. “May I ask as to what will happen to Beau, sir?”

“Well, I can’t say exactly without speaking with Legal, but I imagine he’ll be let go from the show. How it will be handled is yet to be seen,” he answers.

“Okay. Thank you for your time,” I say as I slip out the door.

It’s done. I’ve told the network and ultimately sealed my fate. As I walk down the long empty hallway, I head straight for the door leading to the street. I walk out that door for probably the last time. Away from the studio and the show. Headed home with my head held high.

And with that, my time on
Rising Star
has come to an end.

*****

“I knew your relationship would eventually come out,” I hear from behind me as I wait for the elevator.

I do everything I can to ignore the woman standing behind me. If I can just get on this elevator and out of this hotel, I’ll never have to see her again. I pull my luggage onto the elevator and pray that the door closes before she can get on. No luck.

“What, nothing to say?”

“Nothing I care to say to you,” I reply as we start our descent.

“I’d been telling them for weeks that you were screwing him. It’s the only reason you made it past the first round. It’s the only way you ever would have beat me,” she snipes.

“You know what, Shawna? I did beat you. Fair and square. I didn’t have a relationship with Beau until Saturday night. That first showdown on the show? I won. Not you. And do you want to know why? Because I was better than you. Period. And while I might not be on this show any longer, just remember that the only reason you still are is because someone else picked you up
AFTER
you were let go. So, while you may still win this whole thing, remember that at one time, you actually came in last.” And with that, I exit the opening elevator doors and step out with my head held high.

The van is waiting to take me to the studio. I have a meeting with the network executives before I head to the airport to catch my flight home. Beau called me last night and told me that they were meeting and we’d know our fate today. Though, deep down, I already know it’s all over.

We talked for hours last night about the what-if’s and the what-could-have-been’s. He wouldn’t let me sulk as the reality of our situation weighed down on me. I don’t have anything to my name so if the network decides to sue me for breach of contract, I’m up a creek without a paddle.

Note to self: Stock up on paddles. Looks like I’m going to need them.

We never discussed a future, though. While we may have thought to ourselves about what will happen to us after the show, neither of us voiced those concerns. Instead, we focused on making each other laugh and getting to know each other further. I’ve spent weeks in the presence of this man and I feel like I’m getting to know the real him–not the one he shows to the prying eyes of the world. The real Beau who loves Fruity Pebbles cereal and riding his Harley Davidson whenever he can.