Music of the Heart (17 page)

              “Hey honey.  How are you?  The guys are all in the den watching football.”

              “Happy New Year to everyone.  Hey, do you know where Ashleigh is?  I need to talk to her really quick.”

              I notice all the moms exchange a look.  I hope they didn’t actually think that was discreet.  It was quite the opposite.   Ashleigh’s mom looks at me and starts to talk.

              “I’m pretty sure she went up to her room for a minute.  She mentioned needing to freshen up after being in the kitchen all morning.”

              I bypass everyone else and go straight up the back stairs.  I figure out which room is hers and knock on the door.  She doesn’t hear me so I knock again and I walk in slowly.  I see her sitting at her vanity putting on lipstick.  Music is blaring in her room which must be why she didn’t hear me knock.  She glances up and I catch her eye as she about jumps out of her skin.

              “Cross, you just scared the shit out of me.  What are you doing in here?”

              “I knocked, I swear.  Twice, actually.  Sorry for sneaking in on you.  We really need to talk Ashleigh.”

              “Just stop Cross.  We have nothing to talk about.  Let’s pretend that kiss never happened and we can go about our lives like normal.”

              “No Ashleigh.  You stop.  We are going to talk and you can’t get out of it anymore.  Why don’t you look me in the eye and tell me one more time that kiss meant nothing because I call bullshit on you.  That kiss meant a hell of a lot to me and I know it did to you too.  I’m sorry for how I acted over the holidays.  You have every right to be pissed at me for not calling you or texting.  But I’m apologizing now and I want things back the way they used to be.  I want us back to the way we were.  You belong with me.”

              “Cross, I don’t know what to say.  Yes, I felt something in that kiss but it can’t happen again.  We aren’t meant to be anything but friends.  I do miss the old us but friends are all we can be.”

              I charge towards her and jerk her to my chest.  She looks terrified until I cover her mouth with mine.  I glide my tongue over her lips and she finally opens for me.  Our tongues intertwine and we both get lost in the kiss.  I would have gladly continued but all of a sudden she jerks away from me. 

              “Cross, you can’t just do that anytime you want to.  I’ve got to get out of here.  I have a house full of people and I’m being rude.”

              I block the door so she can’t get out.  I just need a few more minutes with her.  I don’t want today to be awkward between us.  She makes me a better person and I need her to know that.

              “Can you wait just a minute please?  I really just need to tell you a few things.”

              Although she looks annoyed at me, she reluctantly tells me to keep talking.

              “I’m not sure what all you know about me and my reputation but I’m not known to be a one-woman man or want a relationship.  Ever since I met you in October, my life has been thrown upside down.  I look forward to seeing you and I like talking to you.  Not that it matters to you but I haven’t been on a date, kissed another woman or had sex since October.  Why?  Because you are the only woman on my mind and the only woman I want.”

              I take a minute to breathe and look at her face.  I’m trying to read what she’s thinking but it’s hard.

              “Look, I’m not going to lie.  Everything I’m saying right now is really hard for me to admit to you.  I want you in my life.  If you’re not ready for that, I’ll take your friendship.  Hell, I’ll take whatever I can get from you.  I just don’t want to lose you again.  Having you mad at me hasn’t been fun.  I’ve missed you.”

              As always, she’s very hard to read.  She gets up from her bed and walks towards the door.  Before she walks out, she stops and turns back to me.

              “You’re going to have to let me soak everything in that you just said Cross.  We’re good for now.  I promise we can talk later.”

              She walks out and heads towards the kitchen.  I wait about five minutes and go grab a beer and sit down to watch football.  I guess things could have gone worse. 

Chapter Twenty

ASHLEIGH

              The day goes by quickly and my family heads back home to Alabama around 6:00 p.m.  Everyone else’s parents head home as well and all that is left is the girls and guys.  I start to walk towards the kitchen when I hear Dixon yell out.

              “Hey Ash, where are you going?  Come sit down with all of us.”

              “I need to get the kitchen cleaned up and all the dishes rinsed and the food put away.    Y’all enjoy another drink and I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

              “No ma’am.  You spent the whole day in the kitchen plus I know how tired you are from your show last night.  Grab a glass of wine, sit with the girls and let us guys take care of the kitchen.”

              Before I know what’s going on, Mason, Jake and Cross come walking to the girls with five fresh glasses of wine.  Cross hands me glass of wine and discreetly steals a kiss on the forehead.  We head out to the back porch where the fire pit is going and after I get situated, I look up to four pairs of eyes on me.

              “What?  Why is everyone staring at me?”

              Ava looks at me with this smirk on her face.  “Spill it Ashleigh.  We know something happened between you and Cross earlier.  We just don’t know what it was.”

              I act like I don’t know what they’re talking about.

              ‘There’s nothing going on between us Ava.  We’re friends.  That’s it.  We talked some earlier and things are better between us but I told him friends was all we could be.”

              “No way.  Cross Hamilton isn’t just friends with most girls.  Do you really want me to believe nothing has happened?”

              Ava is now looking at me like I’m crazy and I’m not sure why.  Ignoring Ava for now, I turn to Ellis.

              “Ellis, why are you looking at me like that?”

              “No reason.  I’m just soaking in everything you’re saying.  Trying to decide if I believe you or not.”

              The next hour goes on like this with my girls.  They spend that time going back and forth trying to figure out if I am lying or telling the truth.  Unfortunately, I’m getting very tired.  I didn’t get much sleep last night and I’m starting to doze off in my lounge chair.  The next thing I know, I am being carried up the stairs and laid on my bed.  Opening my eyes, I see Cross pulling my socks off my feet.

              “What are you doing?  Did you just carry me up the stairs?  Who’s in bed with me?”

              “Go to sleep, Ashleigh.  You need to rest.  We can talk more later this week before I go out of town.  And it’s Merritt in your bed with you.  All the girls fell asleep so they’re just sleeping here tonight.”

              I smile and close my eyes but not before I see Cross lean forward and kiss me on the forehead.

              When morning rolls around, the girls all get up and head home.  Merritt gets into drill sergeant mode for their upcoming weddings they have scheduled at Bello.  I am still so tired and decide to lay on the couch all day and watch movies.  I even turn the ringer off my phone so no one bothers me.  Before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep again.

CROSS

              Fuck.  I’ve been trying to call and text Ashleigh all day with no answer.  I thought we left things okay last night.  Maybe I was wrong.  It’s Saturday and I decide to go for a long run to clear my head.  All kinds of thoughts run through my head – Am I ready to be monogamous?  Is Ashleigh who I want in my life forever?  Do I miss her when I’m not around her?  Am I falling in love with Ashleigh?

              I keep running until I can barely breathe.  I push my self extra hard today and like a mac truck, I slam my body to a stop.  Holy shit, the answer to all those questions is yes.  Yes, I am ready to be monogamous.  Yes, I want Ashleigh in my life forever.  Yes, I miss her all the time.  And the big one… yes, I think I’m falling in love with her.

              I’m starting to rethink going to Nashville to talk to Jamie.  Maybe it’s none of my business to poke around in Ashleigh’s career?  Unfortunately for both of us, that’s not how I work.  I care too much about her to let her ruin her voice and potentially end her career right now.  She will probably hate me but that’s a chance I have to take.  God, the whole crew is going to hate me.  No one knows I’m a silent shareholder in JMA Music Group but me and Dixon.

              After I get back to the condo, I take a long shower and sit down to check my e-mail.  It feels no time has gone by but when I look at the clock, I realize it’s 1:30 p.m. and I am starving.  Of course, I have nothing in my refrigerator or pantry that looks edible so I head out to grab lunch and to get some groceries.

              I’m about half way through my grocery buying when I hear a voice that I would recognize anywhere.  I round the corner to the next aisle and see Ashleigh talking to my sister-in-law, Katie.  I walk up to the ladies and wait until they notice me.

              “Hey Cross.  I’m surprised to see you grocery shopping.  No work today?”

              I lean in to give Katie a kiss on the cheek.  “It’s Saturday.  I’m taking a break today.  Actually, I was busy checking e-mails and replying to some work issues at home and realized I had no food.  So here I am.”

              I glance over at Ashleigh who hasn’t said anything yet.  I can’t read the expression on her face either.

              “Well guys, I need to check out and get back home.  Oh, Gaines and I are having a dinner next Sunday night for everyone.  You’re both invited.  Cross, will you be back in town?”

              “Yeah.  I get back Saturday morning.  I’ll be there.”

              Katie walks away and I’m left with Ashleigh.  I look over at her again.  She’s dressed in leggings, running shoes and an oversized t-shirt.  She has on barely any make-up and her hair is up in a messy ponytail.  This is the face of the woman I am falling for.  There is no doubt in my mind.  She is gorgeous and kind and I want more of her.  She finally speaks up.

              “Hey, thanks for taking care of me last night and getting me to bed.  I was so tired.  I’m sorry I haven’t called you back.  I slept until noon today trying to catch up on sleep.”

              I’m just staring at her and pull her in for a hug and a kiss on the forehead.  I must hold her a minute too long because she pulls back and starts to look at me funny.

              “Um, are you okay Cross?”

              Laughing, I answer her.  “Yes, I’m fine.  Just happy to see you.  Hey, are we good?  For real?  This is what I was talking about.  I miss this.  I miss our connection and easy banter back and forth with each other.”

              “I told you last night.  I need time to soak in everything that you said.  I’ve only been awake for two hours.  I need more time than that.”

              She leans up to give me a kiss on the cheek which I take as a good sign.  She waves and starts to walk away.  She doesn’t get very far before she turns back around.

              “And for the record, I miss this too.”

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