Music of the Soul (17 page)

“Or you’ll take my balls?”

She grinned wickedly. “Yeah, something like that.”

I laughed. “Then I better do it fast, huh?”

“Exactly.”

When Marion finished with me, I didn’t lounge around in the backstage room. Instead, I made my

way to the stage. I needed to see Abby. It’d been a long time since I’d actually just watched her

perform. Just the sight of her in her sparkly, ice-blue stage dress and silver cowboy boots made my

heart race. To the average eye, no one could tell there was something off with her performance

tonight. She shimmied and shook her hips as she danced along with the music while her smile

remained bright. She had the audience laughing in between songs at her little jokes and stories. But

when she turned away from the audience, the pain on her face was visible. The consummate

performer within her wouldn’t allow for her to give anything less than one hundred percent.

“We’re going to do a cover right now of an artist who means a lot to me and my brothers.

Growing up, our mom was a huge Emmy Lou Harris fan. Even in the remote jungles where we were

living, she had old records she would play. If I Needed You was one of the first secular songs I

learned to play on the guitar. So Eli and I would like to sing it for you now.”

Eli eased down on the stool beside her with his guitar, and then they began harmonizing together.

As I took in the lyrics of the song, I realized how much they were mine and Abby’s relationship. But

the one that meant the most was “If you needed me, I would come to you. I would swim the seas for to

ease your pain.”

Abby had always been there for me in my darkest times. Then when she was going through her

own, I hadn’t realized her suffering. She’d had to go it alone, and that was so wrong. I’d vowed at our

wedding to love her in the good times and bad. Regardless of what she had done with going off birth

control, she had needed me, and I hadn’t been there. I had to make it up to her. I knew what AJ and my

dad said was true.

After the song ended, applause and cheering rang throughout the auditorium. I knew this was my

usual cue to get to the wings to await her announcing our duets. She took the microphone. I noticed her

boot tapping on the stage floor, and I knew she was nervous about seeing me.

“And now, I want to bring someone to the stage to sing with me. I think you all know him pretty

well. And that would be my husband, Jake Slater.”

While the crowd went wild, I stepped out on stage, my guitar slung over my shoulder. I waved to

the audience as the roadies fixed the stools for Abby and me to sit on during our first song. Once they

scurried away, I sat down. “Hello Birmingham! How the hell are you?”

Deafening applause and whistles erupted around me. “You been treating my lovely wife and her

brothers well?” Once again they clapped and screamed. “First up tonight, we want to sing one of the

first songs we ever did as a couple. It’s called All I Ever Needed.”

I strummed the opening chords, and Abby came in with me. Instead of looking at me, she kept her

eyes down. When we got to the musical break, I stared intently at Abby, willing her to look me in the

eye. But she kept staring down at her guitar. Pushing the microphone out the way, I took her chin in my

fingers and titled her face up. When her gaze met mine, I smiled. “I’m so sorry, Angel.”

Her eyes widened. “Y-You are?”

When we didn’t pick up with the second verse, Eli and Gabe kept playing through the song. I’m

sure they wondered what in the hell we were thinking for having a conversation in the middle of a

performance. But I had no other choice. It was kind of weird have a musical interlude during your big

apology scene.

I nodded. “Can you ever forgive me for the things I said? For lying to you?”

“Can you forgive me? For deceiving you?”

“I’ll forgive you, and you can forgive me.”

The corners of her lips quirked up in a smile at my words, but her expression remained grave.

“Just like that?”

“I had a long time to think on the bus. And I talked to my dad.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I did. Things are…good now.”

Tears pooled in Abby’s baby blues. “Oh, Jake.”

When I glanced out at the crowd, I saw their puzzled expressions. “What do you say we finish

this song, and then we’ll talk about it after the show?”

She grinned. “Okay, I think that sounds good.”

I took the microphone back and stared into the audience. “Sorry about that, guys. My wife and I

just needed a moment. Hope you didn’t mind?”

At their roaring approval, Abby and I both laughed. I counted us in, and then we started the song

where we had left off. I don’t think I’d ever enjoyed performing with her more. Well, maybe the night

at the Grammys before we won best duet. But tonight was special too. Nothing meant more than

reconnecting. Nothing meant more than knowing she still loved me, despite my all my bullshit hang-

ups and issues.

I stared intently at her when I got to the line, “Tell me it’s not my fault.”

Smiling, Abby shook her head and sang, “Tell me it’s not my fault.”

With a wink, I continued singing melody with Abby harmonizing. When the song finished, I

popped out of my stool. After laying my guitar down, I pulled Abby into my arms. She abandoned her

guitar to wrap her arms around me. Grabbing her under her ass, I hoisted Abby up to wrap her legs

around my waist. The audience went wild, but I could have cared less. This moment wasn’t about

giving them a show. It was about repairing my marriage and making things right with the woman I

loved. Even though I should have moved us off stage, I couldn’t wait one moment to make things right

with her. “I love you, Angel.”

“I love you, too.”

I stared intently into her eyes. “And I want you to have my baby.”

She gasped. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. I want us to make lots of babies together. I want them to have your sweet smile,

your caring spirit, and your sassiness. I want them to be as beautiful on the outside as they are on the

inside, just like their mother.”

Abby’s emotions overcame her, and she started sobbing. “Don’t cry, Angel.”

“You’re so sweet, Jake. But what if…” Her eyes closed in pain. “What if I can’t get pregnant?”

I shook my head. “You don’t know that yet. The doctor said we might have to try other means to

make it happen.”

“You’re willing to do that?”

“I’ll do anything for you.”

She brought her lips to mine for a frantic kiss. “Thank you, Jake. You’ve made me so happy.”

“You make me happy every day, Angel.” I kissed her again before pulling away. “What do you

say we finish this show, so I can take you back to the bus and show you just how much I love you?”

She laughed. “I’d like nothing more.”

With my Atlanta Braves cap pulled low over my eyes, I hunkered down in my chair in the waiting

room of ARMC or the Atlanta Reproductive Medicine Center. It was thirty minutes after closing, and

the place was pretty much a ghost town, except for a few patients straggling out from their

appointments. Each time someone came out to the front desk, I tensed, fearful they would recognize

me. Abby, who sat beside me, would squeeze my hand reassuringly. As I cut my eyes over to her, I

couldn’t help snickering at her disguise.

Her beautiful blonde hair was hidden underneath a jet-black wig. Her usually long hair was only

chin length. Tortoise shell glasses were perched on her nose, and her usually sparkling blue eyes

were hidden under dark contacts. Of course, the disguise had been my idea. She hadn’t given two

shits about whether or not we were spotted a fertility clinic. “A lot of our fans suffer from this too,

Jake,” she had reasoned. But the prideful side of me didn’t want to see our faces splashed all over the

tabloids—our private agony on a grocery newsstand as people checked out with their milk and bread.

The ARMC’s Perimeter location had become a familiar fixture in our lives since I’d finally

decided not to be a selfish prick and consent to having a baby. Usually you had to go a whole year of

not getting pregnant before you were referred to a fertility clinic. But because of Abby’s surgery, we

were a special case, and we got to cut the line.

She had been through a whole gamut of below-the-waist tests that I didn’t begin to understand. I

was sure that more people had seen her vag in the last two months than in the entire time she’d been

on this earth. As modest as she usually was, she didn’t seem to care her hoo-hah was on display for

various specialists. For me, it helped that our doctor was a female, as were the technicians.

“Mr. and Mrs. Moore?” the nurse called.

It took Abby smacking my arm for me to move. For a minute, I didn’t recognize the name. And

then I remembered I was even more of a bastard because I had us under an assumed name—my

mother’s maiden name.

I scrambled out of the seat to follow Abby and the nurse down the hall. Once we were closed

into the room, the nurse took my blood pressure and temperature. All the while, she and Abby

chattered to each other while I remained silent. When a plastic cup was thrust into my hands, I totally

froze. Even though there were words and sentences coming out of the nurse’s mouth, I couldn’t hear

anything. I didn’t nod in acknowledgment or reply. My gaze bounced back and forth between her and

Abby. While Abby nodded along, I remained rooted to the floor, unblinking and unmoving.

When the door closed behind the nurse, my throat constricted. The walls of the room seemed to

close in on me. I stared dumbly down at the container in my hand before glancing down at my junk. If

my dick could have talked, it would have probably said, Not on your fucking life am I about to get it

up in this room for you to jack off into a cup! Have you lost your pride, dude?

“Jake?” Abby questioned. When I glanced up at her, she wore a concerned expression. “Baby,

are you okay?”

“Fine,” I croaked.

“You look a little green.”

That’s probably because I feel like I’m going to puke. “I’m fine,” I reassured her.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?”

I gulped. “Seriously?”

She nodded as she closed the gap between us. “It’s okay to be freaked out about this, Jake. When

it all comes down to it, I’m freaked out too.”

“You are?”

“How could I not be? We’re in a reproductive clinic under assumed names with me in a

disguise.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

She swept the wig off, her blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders. After she tossed it on the

examining table, she looked back at me and smiled. “But in the end, it’s just you and me, babe. It’s

still the two of us making a life, even if the conception is a little different than what we planned.”

“I know,” I murmured, staring at the plastic cup in my hands.

“Jake, look at me,” Abby commanded.

When I glanced up at her, she smiled. “I wanted to do something to make this easier on you.”

Her hands came to her top. With wide-eyes and my mouth gaping open, I watched as she pulled it off.

“Abby?” I croaked. I couldn’t believe she was stripping down.

“We’re in this together, Jake. Did you really think I was just going to make you do this on your

own?”

“Well, um, maybe?”

She tsked at me. As I gazed at her checked bra, I realized it was familiar. Licking my lips, I

could barely wait for her to strip down. As she shimmied the skirt off her hips and down her thighs, I

couldn’t help smiling.

She grinned back at me. “Recognize this lingerie?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“I chose it for a reason.”

“Besides the fact that I love you in it?”

“Mmm, hmm.” She tossed her skirt onto the table with her sweater. “You know, we did

something like this once before, remember? Me in this lingerie with you touching yourself.”

“Um, it was a little different since we were both on the phone and weren’t in the same room

together.”

“It’s still kinda the same thing.”

“If you say so,” I murmured, as I eyed her garters. “Fuck, Angel, you’re so damn sexy.”

She gave me a wicked grin as her fingers came to the button of my jeans. After she unbuttoned