MVP (VIP Book 3) (30 page)

“What do you mean?”

“He’s just always been the provider and he takes that role really seriously.”

Fuck…was I wanting to buy the house together making him feel like he wasn’t a man? Had I fucked that up, too?

“I’m just surprised is all…not that it’s a bad thing or anything. I’m not saying that at all,” she mumbled and it was the first time I saw her nervous. “I mean…I think it’s awesome that you’re an independent woman. Sebby definitely needs a woman like that.”

“Why do you call him Sebby?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

She laughed. “Our parents said I couldn’t pronounce Sebastian when we were babies. I started calling him that and it’s just stuck. I should probably stop doing that. He hates it.”

“You guys have shared so much of your lives together.”

She nodded. “We have. He’s a good man, Ysabelle. You’re very lucky to have found each other.”

I couldn’t tell if she was being sincere, but it didn’t stop me from hoping that she was.

Three days went by and I took everyone out on the boat. We had spent the last couple of days sightseeing. Christian was in love with the island; he said he wanted to move there when he was eighteen and be my co-captain. Anthony was a nice guy; I sensed he was in love with Julia and I think she was, too. They looked happy. I didn’t remember the last time I had seen her so content, she was usually all over the place when we were married. She looked like she had slowed down and started to enjoy life and it made me wonder what she learned out of our time together, and out of our divorce. I wondered if it was similar to what I had.

Ysabelle remained distant and with each day, it seemed to be getting worse. She talked less and interacted fewer. I could see that Julia was trying to make her feel comfortable, but she was too stuck in her own head to notice it. I thought the trip would have made them closer or even us closer and now I feared it was the exact opposite. I wanted to make everything better and I knew that there wasn’t anything I could do to accomplish that. At some point, I knew we would have to discuss everything, but I didn’t want to do it with them being in the house. There was enough tension on her behalf and I didn’t want to add to it.

It was a beautiful day outside and the weather was perfect; there were no waves, just solid flat surface. Ysabelle was laying out on the bow and I think she fell asleep. I watched her beautiful hair blow in the wind and her perfect figure get darker by the minute. I was so in love with her I couldn’t see straight. I wanted to make her my wife, to have her take my last name. As a man, we have this primitive desire to claim what’s ours and part of me felt like I wouldn’t truly have all of her until we were married.

The urge to want to see her belly grow with my child grew with each passing day as well. I wanted nothing more than to have a family with her and to be husband and wife. I wanted to look deep into her gorgeous green eyes that showed me the world and say my vows that I felt so deeply in my soul. I thought when I found my way back to her that it was going to be enough, that if I gave her time, she would see everything that I hold so strongly in my heart.

She hasn’t.

I was starting to think that she never would. She was blinded by whatever demons she couldn’t surpass and I couldn’t help her. I never could. The mere thought of it could almost destroy me, but I’d pick myself back up again. I’d remember that she was in my arms and that was good enough for me. Nothing else mattered when I was holding her. The world stopped moving and time paused. It was just us.

She stirred and then looked over at me with her pouty sleepy face.

My girl.

I would give you the world if you would let me.

I had taken them to a private island Ysabelle and I frequented. We decided to grill out and spend the day relaxing under the sun in seclusion.

“Dad! You want to throw around the ball?”

“Of course!”

“I’m in, Anthony fell asleep,” Julia said, standing up and brushing off sand.

“Ysa?”

“No, I’m okay,” she responded.

We spent the next hour throwing around the ball.

I pretended to be reading, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene before me. It was like a car accident that I knew I needed to look away from because it was going to cause me pain, but I couldn’t help myself. My eyes were glued to the image before me. I stared at the family that was in front of me. They looked perfect together, playing with the son that they both adored and were devoted to.

How could I have destroyed something so beautiful?

They fit flawlessly. It brought back the memory of when I saw them at the dog park. The day my world and illusions came tumbling down on me like a ton of fucking bricks, suffocating me and making it hard to breathe.

Had I ever really resurfaced?

I could still feel the love and devotion as much as I did that day. It radiated off of them. The easiness of how they worked together was blowing in the wind and I was inhaling it into my bloodstream. They laughed, smiled, and played like they had been doing it their entire lives, and the truth was, they had. They shared a life before me and they would share one after me. I was the odd man out in this equation.

The way Julia catered to Christian, the way she knew each and every mannerism, how it effortlessly came to her, like she was born to be a mother. I knew in that moment that it would never be me. I took care of myself since I was a child, my mother stripped away every last shred of my innocence the second I was born. I hated her. I was raped and my virginity was stolen from me because she wanted more money.

Who the fuck does that?

Someone’s whose blood runs through my veins.

I felt all the color drain from my face when Christian fumbled the ball and Sebastian and Julia tackled him. They rolled around in the sand and Sebastian picked Christian up, throwing him over his shoulder as Julia ran behind, holding on to his arms. They were cheering and singing. They were the family that I always dreamed about.

I was not a good person.

I ruined Christian’s life, the life that I so badly wanted when I was a child. I needed to get my shit together before I started to cry.

When did I turn into this weak woman?

Who am I?

“I need the job done within the next few weeks. It needs to look like an accident,” I ordered.

“Madam, with all due respect, do you have any idea what you’re asking? How dangerous it could be?”

“Pablo, did I ask for your opinion?”

He shook his head no.

“I didn’t think so. Now, either you get the job done or I’ll find someone who will.”

“Madam, we have known each other for decades now. What would possess you to want to fake an attack that could get you killed?”

“It’s none of your fucking business. And, am I paying you to think? No. You’re getting paid so that I don’t have to worry about dying. If something happens to me, guess whom it will fall on? Any guesses? Here I’ll give you a hint, he’s standing in this room and he’s acting like a pussy.”

He stood up straighter. “How bad does it have to be?”

“You have to almost kill me.” I sat back in my chair and crossed one leg over the other. “Trust me, darling, I will be high as a fucking kite, I won’t feel a thing.” I smiled.

“Jesus, Madam, have you lost your goddamn mind?”

“I think you need to remember whom you’re talking to. Where are your fucking manners? I’m a lady,” I said, placing my hand on my chest. “Now, get the fuck out of my office. You have two weeks.”

The time has come.

Mine.

Tick tock.

“Come here,” I groaned, grabbing her around the waist and placing her in front of my body. We were lying sideways in bed and I wrapped my entire body around her. I loved feeling her petite frame under me.

“You’ve been so quiet these last few days. What’s up?” I asked, nuzzling the back of her neck.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” she argued, kissing my arms around her shoulders.

“I find it interesting that you still don’t think I know when you’re bullshitting me.”

“And I think it’s hilarious that you still call me out on it when you know I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What if I turn off the lights? Hmmm…we’ll lay here and just see what happens. Want to try that?”

She shrugged and I took it as a yes. I turned everything off and saw her faint shadow as I wrapped myself around her again. We laid there in comfortable silence and after a while, I thought she had fallen asleep and I closed my eyes.