My Awesome/Awful Popularity Plan (14 page)

We walked out of the house and started toward Michelle Edelton’s place. Becky’s family was pretty loaded, but Michelle’s were R-I-C-H. Becky told me that Michelle’s room was in a whole separate wing of the house, which meant she could have parties and her parents never knew. Becky and I were quiet until we left her driveway.

“Sorry my dad is such a loser,” she said.

I shrugged. “It’s part of the deal,” I said.

She stopped walking. “Is this worth it to you?” she asked. “I mean, you do so much just so I can keep on seeing Chuck. What are you getting out of it?”

“Well,” I began, trying to walk quickly because it was freezing, “I don’t know if you know, but I wasn’t exactly the most popular kid before I started ‘dating’ you.”

“So,” she said, nodding, “you’re doing it to make more friends.”

I nodded as well, opting out of adding “and to steal Chuck from you.” PS, it’s not like I want to split them up. I just want to also get to date him. And if that broke them up, it wouldn’t matter much because Becky’s so beautiful, she could date anyone she wanted. I then got excited because my thought process wasn’t immediately followed by Spencer’s voice in my head telling me that I’m just thinking of excuses for my selfishness. Yay! His stupid visualization technique actually worked!

As we were walking to Michelle’s house, I thought that this party would be the perfect vehicle to really make friends with these people. I’d do some of my imitations and, hopefully, there’d be a piano so I could play and sing. I’m sure I could win the cool kids over with my humor/talent, and having them all in one room could make it happen.

We walked up to Michelle’s house and Becky immediately pulled me toward the backyard.

“This is the best way to Michelle’s part of the house,” she said.

We passed by a bench covered in snow. Becky stopped for a moment. “That’s where it happened,” she said.

I felt my heart race because I knew she was referring to her first kiss. Then I suddenly had a thrilling thought:
Tonight
could be the night I get
my
first kiss!
Even though I have no interest in alcohol, I’m sure some kids will have brought some. If Chuck is tipsy, I could get him somewhere isolated and let things progress. I’d read articles about guys in high school experimenting with other guys when they were “bombed.” While I think alcohol is responsible for many of the problems in society today (drunk driving, bad karaoke, unintelligible tweets), it could pay off for me make-out-wise!

“Let’s go!” I said to Becky, and pulled her toward the side door. It was unlocked and opened right into a staircase. We walked up and there was a crowd of about forty kids hanging around Michelle’s bedroom, which was the size of my living and dining room. I did a quick scan and saw that not only was there no Chuck yet, but there was also no piano. Argh! There goes my plan for wowing people with my voice. Also, the “DJ” (Archie the baseball player) was blasting music, so I couldn’t even do my signature imitations because nobody would hear them. Well, if I couldn’t rise in popularity, I better get my kiss out of Chuck once he gets here. Becky and I started moving through the crowd. There were a lot of people I knew from Cool U, but there were also kids from private schools in the area.

Becky asked me if I wanted to dance, and I said, “Sure” and she replied, “What?” I responded by moving her to the area where people were dancing and we started in. Of course, I wore an outfit I thought was slimming, but it also happened to be a wool sweater. Within ten minutes, I was dripping with
sweat. I went out onto Michelle’s balcony to cool off for a while and then came back in to dance again. This went on for an hour or two, with breaks only for soda and the amazing food Michelle had laid out. Finally, around 11:30, I heard a loud “NO WAY!” and looked over to the corner to see Chuck and three of his buddies from the football team passing around a beer can. They must have just gotten there from another party, and they looked drunk. Excellent! I knew Becky would want to be over there with him, so I moved her across the room.

“Becky!” he yelled, and ran to hug her. She hugged him back in a “we’re just friends” way, and I put my arm around her to keep up appearances. Chuck realized they were in public and went back to his friends and a new beer can. They started passing it around and after a few minutes, Becky said we should go outside. I thought she meant to the balcony where I had cooled off, but she pointed to the backyard. She whispered in my ear, “Get Chuck,” and she left before me. I told Chuck I wanted to show him something and took him by the arm. He was easy to lead because he was pretty drunk by now. While walking by everyone, I secretly pretended he was my date and we were going for a moonlight stroll. I chose to ignore the fact that he burped every four steps we took and called me Jeremy.

We finally got outside and I saw Becky by the bench where she had had her first kiss with Chuck. I walked Chuck over and brushed off the snow, and he plopped down with a thud. I sat next to him to keep him upright.

Becky looked angry.

“This is it? This is our New Year’s Eve?”

“What?” Chuck slurred.

There wasn’t any music drowning out her words in the backyard; he said “what” because he was too drunk to understand more than a two-word sentence.

She looked at me. “I thought tonight would be romantic.” She pointed to the bench where I was sitting and Chuck was slumping. “I thought Chuck and I would ring in the New Year in the same place we started our relationship. But, of course, he’d rather spend time with his teammates.”

“What?” Chuck said again, but this time it came out “Whaza?”

Becky stood up straighter. “Justin, I’m going.” I made a motion to stand, but she put out her hand to stop me. “I can walk myself home. I’d rather you make sure he”—she pointed with disgust—“doesn’t publicly embarrass himself and get thrown off the team.” Typical Becky. Even when angry, she was still caring.

“Happy New Year,” she said, and walked off through the snow.

I looked at Chuck. I looked at the house. Everyone was inside partying. We were totally alone. AND he was drunk. He was sitting pretty close to me. I was able to think he was snuggling with me to keep me warm. I looked over at him. Was he asleep?

“Chuck?” I asked quietly.

“Becky?” he answered.

WHAT? He thought I was Becky. This could be the way for me to get my first kiss. He’s too drunk to know who he’s kissing but not too drunk to not look gorgeous. I turned toward him. I heard someone in the house yell, “One minute to midnight!”

I thought,
My first kiss. With the boy I’ve always wanted to kiss
.

How should I do it? Lean in and hope he’ll lean in, too? Put my hand on the back of his head and gently guide it? I did an emergency Listerine strip and ChapStick application, then turned back to Chuck, whose eyes were half closed.

Then I heard:
Is this really what you want
?

WHAT?

Spencer was back??? How did he climb up that cliff?

You want to get your first kiss by pretending you’re someone else?

Yes! This whole “winning over Chuck” thing is taking a lot longer than I thought it would, and I need to speed the process along.

Really? So you want to have the memory of your first kiss be from someone who had no control over his body?

So what? The body he has no control over is the body of a Greek god.

Uh-huh … Is the drool on his lip the drool of a Greek god?

Quite frankly, yes.

“Becky, it’s cold,” Chuck suddenly said, turning toward me. “C’mere …” He snuggled up to me.

AH! He was essentially asking for it.
This is it
, I thought. I’m going to kiss him and who cares that it’s all based on a multitude of lies.

OK, be my guest
.

Yes!

But just know that one day you’ll have to tell me about it in person
.

I heard what sounded like tires screeching to a stop in my head.

I turned my head away from Chuck.

I let out a long sigh and saw my Listerine breath come out of my mouth like a cloud.

Forget it
, I thought. Maybe I’m not speaking with Spencer now, but someday I will be. The time’s gonna come when I talk about this night, and I know I could never look him in the eye and tell him this story. What would he think of me?

I sat with Chuck in the freezing cold while he fell asleep.

I thought of Spencer in his house. I wondered if he was still up.

I looked at the lights coming from Michelle’s room and heard the people upstairs start shouting, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one … Happy New Year!”

Happy New Year.

EVER SINCE NEW YEAR’S EVE
, the weeks have flown by. School during the day, rehearsal for
Rock and Roll High School
in the afternoon, and Chuck and Becky at night. Well, a little Chuck, mostly Becky. Eighty percent of the time I show up for a Chuck/Becky date and it winds up being Becky and me waiting a few hours for Chuck and then discovering he’s not coming. It hasn’t been bad, though, because we end up doing our homework together and gabbing. In a way, she’s taken the place of Spencer.

I don’t share
everything
with her like I did with him (i.e., she doesn’t know I’m actually gay and in love with her boyfriend), but she knows most everything else. And I think I know more about her than anyone else does. Even Chuck. She’s told me about all the fights she’s had with her parents (mainly shopping, school, and her hairstyle—her mother is originally from the South and Becky does a great imitation of
her saying, “Why don’t you grow it long? Like a real young lady.”). I also know why her mom’s side of the family hates her dad’s side of the family (her dad’s mom got drunk and threw up at their wedding) and how she and Michelle Edelton are friends even though she’ll never forgive Michelle for trying to kiss Chuck at his birthday party (not surprisingly, I’ve never told her about my near miss with Chuck’s lips on New Year’s Eve). We do tons of talking not only at Cool U or during our waiting-for-Chuck dates, but also, oddly enough, at choir rehearsals. Of course, it’s more like whispering there. Spencer and I say hi to each other at the beginning and end of the classes we have together and in the hall, but that’s about it.

A few weeks ago, early in January, I wrote him a note apologizing for not telling him in advance about my conflict on New Year’s Eve and left it in his locker. He emailed me that he got the note and accepted my apology. I thought we’d go back to the way we were, but he’s still less friendly to me than I am to Mary Ann Cortale. He’s obviously waiting for something to happen that will lead back to us being best friends again, but I don’t know what it’s supposed to be. It’s very weird not having him know every little thing that’s going on with me and vice versa. Even though all the boys sit in the same area in choir, Spencer is a bass and I’m a tenor, so he’s on the other side of the group.

Thankfully, I don’t have to sit in choir and watch him ignore me. The tenors sit right behind the altos, and Becky worked out having her seat right in front of me. She spends
half the rehearsal twisted around chitchatting with me. Once in a while, Miss Bagwell will bust her for not facing forward and then Becky will always say, “What? I dropped something.” She’ll then bend down and pick up one of the many things we’ve planted there in case she gets busted. Normally, we put a book or a hair tie there, but last week, I hid the pencil case Becky planted and replaced it with a condom I stole from health class. I was hoping Miss Bagwell would bust Becky and luckily she did! Becky gave the same excuse she always did and bent down to pick up what she “dropped,” but when she saw what I planted there, she burst out laughing. Miss Bagwell angrily asked to see what she had dropped, so Becky had to think fast. She was still bent down and frantically looked for the nearest thing to show her, which unfortunately was a piece of gum that someone recently stuck underneath her seat. She pried it off, sat up, and said, “Just my gum, Miss B.” Then, to make it fully realistic, she
put it in her mouth
!

Talk about commitment.

The hilarious thing is, we’re not allowed to chew gum in choir, so she got kicked out of class anyway. AND had someone else’s skanky gum in her mouth. We spent all of lunch laughing our heads off. She really is fun to hang out with and is super-nice. So much so that I’ve been feeling more and more guilty during
Rock and Roll High School
rehearsal about Becky not playing the cheerleader. And I’ve felt even worse for myself because I have to play opposite crybaby Pamela Austin. I
thought she cried that first day because Mrs. Hall asked her to cut her hair. Turns out she just cries at
anything
Mrs. Hall says.

“Pamela, please make sure you read exactly what the script says.”

Nonstop tears
.

“Pamela, please keep your arms raised until the end of the song.”

Weeping session
.

“Pamela, exit stage right.”

HALF-HOUR crying jag
.