My Best Friend and My Man (17 page)

—27—

D
EMETRIA

I keep myself busy
in the house
and wait for Seaphes for more than an hour, which is unheard of for me. So when the man doesn’t have the decency to call, text, e-mail, or send me a same-day multicolored rose delivery, I decide it’s time for me to take some action, even if it’s just to make myself feel better. I make an appointment for later that day at the salon that did my pedicure. It’s time to take things to a new level. It takes five hours for me to get the type of services I want. And by the time I leave, the price tag added up to four hundred bucks, but this hairdo makes me look completely different, as does the beauty products I get. It’s an entirely new look, and it’s worth five Gs.

When Sunday rolls around without a phone call from either Seaphes or Veron, I send Darren a text.

“Hi D.F.”

He shoots me one right back.

“Hey baby.”

I giggle and let my fingers fly across my BlackBerry.

“Hey, what u doing?”

“Thinking about u. U wanna c me? Right now?”

I think about how sweet it would be to have Darren come visit me after thinking all weekend about the disrespectful rejection I got from Seaphes.

“Maybe. What u have in mind?” I text back.

“I got $$$. Let’s go eat.”

I laugh, surprised. “Where u get $$$.”

“Rob a bank 4u baby.”

“That’s my man,” I write back, laughing my ass off. I’m glad Darren is trying so hard to please me.

Darren arrives at my crib twenty minutes later in his seven-year-old black Lexus. His brother gave him the car, but whatev, it still looks good.

He meets me at my front door, grabs me in a tight hug, and takes me by the arm to escort me to his ride.

“Hmmm, this is different,” I tell him and smile. I feel less distracted than I’ve felt all day.

“Yeah, I know, baby girl. We need to connect outside the bedroom, you know what I’m saying?”

“I hear what you’re saying. I love what you’re saying, too.”

He opens my door and makes sure I’ve settled in before jumping in to the driver side. “I mean, I love eating you out, but I love to eat out, too, you know what I’m saying?”

“I feel the same fucking way, Darren.” We laugh as if sharing a private joke. And when we pull into the crowded parking lot of the China Bear restaurant on I-45, I don’t even pitch a fit. Sure, an eight-dollar Chinese buffet is nowhere near my usual standards, but I surprise myself by remembering that the fact that he even showed up on such short notice means he values me. After we are seated in the restaurant, Darren piles my plate high with whatever food he thinks I should try. Some of it is nasty-looking stuff that I swear will never touch my mouth. But when he sits next to me and looks me in the eye, feeding me a forkful, I silently obey him. I’m feeling good, enjoying our relaxing time together. And the fact that he can’t stop telling me how fly I look with the new ’do…well, he might as well have given me ten Gs, that’s how rich he’s making me feel.

On the way back home I sigh contentedly and relax in the passenger seat.

“You gonna stop in for a hot minute?”

“No, baby girl. I got some things I gotta do, so if you don’t mind, I’ll make sure you get settled inside, then I gotta roll.”

“Oh, honey,” I say feeling sad and lonely already. “But what if I insist that you hang around?” I pout.

“You’re just spoiled, huh? Guess you ain’t used to a man like me…”

I laugh, but Darren’s words make me think…make me think long and hard about just how accurate he is.

The next day when I get to work, I’m still feeling good about the brief but significant quality time I got to spend with Darren and feeling even happier about my new makeover. I sit in my ride, looking at myself in the mirror, fiddling with my hair, touching up my foundation and blush, reapplying a twinge of lipstick, and curling my eyelashes. I notice that my face has a radiant glow. I sashay in the door.

“Good morning, miss, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Hey, sexy boy. Don’t you recognize me? It’s your girl, Demetria.”

“Oh, yeah?” says Percy. I just leave him standing in the middle of the hallway with his mouth open so wide you can see his two gold teeth.

Then I notice Ursula swishing down the hall toting a Shipley Do-Nuts bag. When she looks at me and rolls her eyes, I ignore her and think, You go ahead and double up on eating those donuts this morning, Ursula.

By the time I get to my office, I’ve counted up four compliments (“That mole near your lips looks sexy,” “You rocking the hell outta that baby-doll dress, girl,” “Hey sugar, can I step up to you for a minute?,” and “Your ass looking so bootylicious I want to eat it up”).

Good start, I think. Now all I gotta do is arrange to see Mr. Hill. His ignoring me this weekend made me feel like ten cents. I hated feeling like that, not when I know that I deserve so much more. So in a way this whole makeover is for his benefit.

When I get on the elevator to go to his floor, I am excited to see that Seaphes is standing alone inside it. He must’ve ridden up from the ground floor. That was so easy! He tries not to stare and doesn’t get a good look at my face.

When the elevator door closes he asks me, “Which floor are you going to?”

“Third,” I mumble.

“Excuse me, but you’re stop-and-stare beautiful. Have we met?”

I laugh quietly but ignore him.

When the elevator reaches the third floor, he gestures with his hand so I can step off first.

“Thank you,” I tell him and set off down the hall. I feel his eyes burning through my back, his mind turning. I laugh and pass by his office.

“Hey, excuse me,” he says, but I continue down the hallway, head held up, high heels clicking against the floor. When I pass two other men, they stare and give me that I-love-what-I-see smile. I nod and keep going until I reach the kitchen/lounge and stand in front of the coffee maker.

“May I pour a cup for you?” Seaphes followed me!

Without turning around, I shrug an okay.

His phone rings. He picks up and says, “Let me call you right back.” Focusing his attention back on me, he grabs a plastic cup and asks if I want sugar and cream.

“I want it all,” I tell him in a light whispery voice.

“You know, you look so familiar. I’m Seaphes Hill.”

I finally turn to stare at him, shaking my head. “Is it the new makeup, or my honey blonde highlights? Or is it something or someone else that’s causing you to have a brain fart?”

A flicker of recognition illuminates his eyes, and he takes the cup of coffee from my hand and takes a wild sip.

I can’t help but laugh. But then I get serious. “Why didn’t you show up at my place?”

“Something came up.”

“Seaphes, you know, I’m not one for raggedy excuses. I don’t like to be disrespected and that’s exactly what you did.”

His mouth opens but nothing comes out except a loud sigh.

“Are y’all fucking now?” I ask.

“What kind of question is that?”

“A valid one, Seaphes, a simple one.”

When he doesn’t say anything I place my hands on my hips and look squarely at him. “Look, Seaphes, do me a favor, be a man, and realize that when I’m involved in something, you’ve gotten yourself into some stuff.”

“What are you talking about?”

I don’t say anything.

“Look, Demetria, we need to talk. You’re getting things a bit twisted.”

“Tell you what,” I say to him. “I think we ought to talk as well. I’ve got a thing or two to tell you.”

“Such as?”

“This isn’t exactly the place…so why don’t you meet me at your car. No, meet me at my car; I’m parked at the end of the parking lot. Right now.” He frowns, then glances at his watch. “C’mon, Seaphes. Spare some time and let’s go do this.”

“Alright.” He gives in, starting to leave the lounge. “By the way, you do look nice, Demetria. I just wanted to tell you that.”

“Where are we going?” he asks.

“Um, you’re still planning on fixing my computer, right?”

“I can do that, why?”

“I need to purchase some things at the computer parts store. Some memory and a new mouse. We can chitchat on the way there.”

“Demetria, we’re not on our own time.”

“Do you have any meetings?”

“Nooo, but…”

“We can just make up the lost time later. Let’s get this conversation out of the way. I know you don’t want to be around our coworkers while we talk, do you?”

He shakes his head in exasperation and gets in. We take off and whip through the employee parking lot. When I get up to the entrance ramp of the Southwest Freeway, a sea of red brake lights causes all the vehicles to slow to a crawl.

“Awww, what’s wrong now?” I ask. “It’s only eight-thirty in the morning.”

“Probably an overturned truck,” he tells me. “It’s cool. We can wait.”

Suddenly I start thinking about one time when I went to the gynecologist, and the nurse wanted me to get a mammogram because she felt an unusual lump underneath my right breast. She set me up to come back in, but I was so filled with fear that I actually canceled the appointment. But I prayed, and made another appointment, and I went. I had to face my fears no matter how afraid I felt, to endure the physical and mental pain of the test. It came back negative, but it helped me to see what kind of woman I am. Now, talking to Seaphes doesn’t actually compare to waiting on medical test results, but I’m still nervous. Can I endure what I may not want to hear?

“So you think I look good, huh?”

“Come on, Demetria. You always look good.”

“I do?” I ask.

“Of course you do. It’s just that I think…your expectations…”

I wince and wait for him to finish.

“It’s not any of your business if Veron and I are sleeping together. I know you’re friends, and normally it’s fine to talk, but you’ve got to mind your own business.”

“How come it’s usually okay but not with me?”

“Because you are causing problems, Demetria. I don’t think you have Veron’s best interests in mind. I believe you when you say that you honestly thought that she was pissed at me the other night, and that’s why you felt like it was okay to get with me. But you also caused Veron to get pissed at me for way longer than she should have been. I can’t have that.”

“You really like her, huh?”

He just keeps quiet and looks out the window. But then his phone rings, and when he picks it up I can tell who it is from the way his voice changes, gets softer.

“Uh, away from the office,” I hear him explain. “You know, I am actually stuck on the freeway, but the accident is about to be removed, then I gotta take care of some business, and I’ll be back as soon as I can get there.” A pause. “Just something I really need to take care of. How are you doing this morning?” A pause. “Awww, that’s sweet,” he says in this sugary voice. But he glances at me and suddenly sounds more authoritative. “Nothing to worry about, Veron. I’ll get back with you later. You stay sweet, okay?” Another pause. “Back at ya,” he whispers.

Soon as he hangs up I tell him, “Thanks for answering my question.”

—28—

V
ERON

I think Seaphes is
up to something
. He comes to work, gets distracted, ends up going home but still hasn’t returned to work, and it’s almost three o’clock. What is that? I decided to stop trying to get him on the phone, though. Gotta act like I don’t care. Gotta learn not to check on a man every five minutes. I refuse to smother him. But playing by these rules sure affects my ability to concentrate for the rest of the day.

And I’ve got to step it up. I think I know what Seaphes was trying to say the other night. He wants me to be real, but the book is working! So I have to keep on with the book but polish up my acting skills. He can’t think that I don’t mean what I say. I have to be strong.

It’s hard, though, when Seaphes is missing, and Demetria is, too.

It’s past four when Ursula Phillips walks in my office, with her big ole booty tagging along.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” she asks.

“I guess.”

She sits down on my guest chair with this annoyed expression on her face.

“Dang, what’s wrong with you?” I ask.

“You know that Seaphes is gone, right?”

I nod as if to say, Yeah, so what.

“I saw him leaving the facility early this morning, with Demetria.”

“You’re spying on the guy?”

“I wasn’t spying. I happened to be in the security room and saw them on surveillance.”

“So why do you feel the need to tell me this? And why so late in the day?”

“Only because I’ve been calling him all day, and he hasn’t returned my calls. To be frank, he’s pissing me the hell off.”

“And so you want to get him back by divulging his personal business to me. As if I am his mother, and you’re the tattletale?”

“Hey, Veron. I’m just trying to help you out. You’ve looked out of it all day. It’s easy to figure out your mood has to do with him.”

“Well, you figured wrong. I already knew he was with her,” I say, hoping I sound like I’m secure enough not to care. “They have some business to take care of. So whatever you saw on my face has nothing to do with him.”

“Look trick, you’re talking to a real woman here. And I can see it on another woman’s face when she’s hurt and upset by a man.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, anxious for her to leave…and yet wanting to hear more.

“When’s the last time you talked to Seaphes?”

“What difference does it make?”

“Because if he really cared about you, he’d be in constant contact. He’d give you a sense of security, he’d do things to let you know he can be trusted.”

I reflect on her words, squirming in my seat and yanking forcefully on my ponytail.

“Let me tell you something about Mr. Hill,” she continues. “In my observation, he is the perfect man on paper, but you gotta go beyond what’s on the paper. It’s like you gotta squeeze him as if he’s an orange. Put tremendous pressure on him so what’s really inside of him comes out. That way you’ll know for sure if he’s a solid keeper or if he’s just a temporary waste of time.”

I eye her curiously. “Is that what you did with him? Put pressure on him?”

“That’s what I should have done with him, but I was too afraid. But maybe your faith can take you where mine didn’t.”

“Huh?”

She notices my discomfort and sits down in the seat next to mine, releasing a thoughtful, deep breath.

“Veron, sometimes we think we women love a man so much that we can ignore his weaknesses, we can become blind to the red flags. We hope so hard that this man is everything that he claims he is, everything we wish he can be, and that we believe it. But if our gut whispers to us to check things out, we oughta listen. It would save us lots of pain and heartache.” Her stony face softens. “Reason why I know is because I’m sure you’ve heard I reconciled with my spouse. In the beginning, when we first married, every one of his flaws was front and center, but I was so in love with him it didn’t bother me that his credit was severely jacked up. I didn’t care if he wanted to have a men’s night out even if his ‘night’ wouldn’t end until three a.m., and I was sitting home crying. Hello? I should have known from the start it was a problem. So why reconcile? Because his four-year-old namesake would ask for his daddy every single day, and I didn’t want to deprive our son of that relationship. So now Junior is happy, his hero is back home. But I’m miserable, still looking out windows. And Mr. Husband still gets to do his thing. Why does a man always get to do
his
thing?”

Her strong voice spirals down to a painful moan, and she fiercely grabs and caresses my hand as if her strength is about to give way. “So please, little sista,
please
don’t be me, repeating my mistakes. Never fall in love with a man who doesn’t treat you like a queen. If you aren’t number one, then he shouldn’t be either.”

I want to touch her, ease her pain through soft words or physical compassion, but all I can do is nod appreciatively at her, unable to formulate an adequate response. Her words remind me of the promise I made to myself: no matter the uncertainties, I was willing to tackle whatever I have to face on this journey of love. Yes, I’m in a terrifying place right now, but that’s how love goes. I just have to keep on.

When I get off work, instead of going directly home like I normally do, I stop by JCPenney and buy a pink and white workout shirt and matching shorts for the Walk America event. It’s still two weeks away, but I need to concentrate on something besides myself.

Afterward, when I pull up to my apartment and find Seaphes’s car parked in the space right next to mine, I don’t know what to make of it.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, getting out of the car.

“Waiting on you. Where you been, woman?” he says with a teasing smile.

Even though I am happy to see him, I maintain a blasé attitude. “I was taking care of some business. Why are you dressed so fancy?” He’s wearing a crisply ironed white dress shirt, purple and red tie, and some dark pin-striped trousers.

“We’re going out. Just me and you.”

“Oh, really,” I remark, thinking how deliciously strange his comments sound.

“Yeah, let me in the crib so you can get ready. I’ve been burning up gas sitting in my car with the AC on.”

A date! I am tempted to giggle but suppress my giddiness.

I walk inside the apartment, and my mouth pops open. There are roses arranged around my entire living room—I count six dozen. I also notice two stuffed animals (an oversized bunny rabbit and a soft, brown, cuddly teddy bear), and I see a stack of Japanese comic books spread out on the coffee table.

“What the hell is all this?” I cover my face with my hands, trying to cover up the redness that burns underneath my cheeks. “C’mon, you’re not telling me something. Is all this for me? How’d you get in the apartment?”

“Yep, I owe you, young lady. I realized how much of an ass I’ve been.”

“You have?” I ask, confused.

He rushes to say, “Well, I mean, I could be much better than what I am. I haven’t given you of myself one hundred percent, and I need to step up my game. And it was all Demetria’s idea.”

I scowl. “Say what?”

“I finally got a chance to repair her computer today. And she and I were talking, and she was telling me I’ve been neglecting you, and everything she said was true. So she suggested I step up my game for you. She knows your landlord, and he let her in your apartment while she filled it with the roses, everything. From me, for you. And now you and I are going out. I just want to make things up to you, give you my best self.”

I slump down on the couch, inhale the aroma of all the roses, stroke my fingers across the comic books, and reflect on everything he said. I love that he did all this, but I don’t want to be too over the moon. “You know, this is very wonderful, Seaphes, but it bothers me that you couldn’t come up with the idea yourself. You only did it because Demetria suggested it. And I’m not sure I appreciate that.”

His face drops, but he recovers. “No, babe, don’t look at it like that. Sometimes a man can’t see himself, he needs nudging, reminders. You gotta look at the positive side. Demetria is looking out for you, hooking you up.”

“But why would she do that?”

He stares at me without blinking. “Because she’s your best friend. That’s what friends do.”

“I guess,” I tell him as I battle mixed emotions. I do absolutely adore flowers, and the teddy bear makes me feel like a five-year-old again. I pick up the soft, tan-colored bear and squeeze him in my arms. “Okay, this bear’s name is Little Seaphes. And the rabbit looks like a female, so her name is Demetria.”

“Hmmm, that’s kinda odd.”

“Then it’ll match everything that’s happening today,” I tell him with a loud sigh. “Okay. I thank you for all your efforts, I do. They’re very thoughtful and even though another woman had to steer you in the right direction, I accept that you are sincere. But next time I want more, and I want to know that you came up with it on your own.”

He pauses, looking a little taken aback, but then says, “I’m sorry if this was wrong. I just wanna make you happy.”

I catch my breath and utter, “You do?”

“You are a sweet person and you deserve to be treated well. And usually a man doesn’t realize that about his woman until he sees the back of her head fading off into the distance. That’s all I’m trying to say. Maybe I’m not doing a very good job.”

I give in—whether he knows it or not, this man has made me so happy. I don’t give a rat’s ass how it was initiated. He’s made me feel so good inside. I stand up and spread out my arms. “Oh, Seaphes, I am sorry. I feel so bad. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all this. I’m flattered, honored, and I would love to go out tonight. I actually love nice surprises, so this is really what I need. I had a hard day.”

He takes me in his arms, squeezing me and rubbing my back. “That’s what I’m talking about, babe. I need to focus more on you.” His eyes are twinkling with relief.

I am happy on the ride to dinner and excited when we reach The Woodlands, a swanky part of town. But when we pull into the parking lot of P.F. Chang’s I start to have mixed feelings. This is the joint where Demetria and Thaddeus went for Valentine’s Day, and I detect her influence. But I try to relax and enjoy myself with Seaphes, because for the first time in forever I feel like I have him all to myself.

He pulls out my chair for me and I sit down.

“You okay?” he asks, sitting across from me, his eyes searching mine.

“I’m good. I’ve never been here before. Would you order for me, whatever you think I should have?”

He winks and nods, and we start off the evening with a glass of white zinfandel, wonton soup, and a few vegetarian lettuce wraps, which taste so delicious I want to order some more.

“I must say,” he says. “You look stunning tonight. I mean that.”

“Thanks, Mr. Hill, so do you. But why are looks always so important to men?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Like today for instance. Not to name names, but I was informed you were all up in some woman’s face at work,” I say, giving him a sideways glance. “She looked very attractive and was getting a lot of attention, but you apparently followed her around like a puppy. Why y’all gotta overreact?” I say this so sweetly, like a mother gently scolding her four-year-old child.

“Um, uh…well, you know how we do. If we like what we see, we’re going to look. I’ve even seen preachers take a look at a beautiful woman.”

“Yeah, well, that kind of thing can be rude.”

“Well, let’s not concentrate on this. That’s all surface stuff. Right now is what counts. Let’s try and start our relationship anew. That’s what I want.”

“Mmm hmmm,” I agree and take a tiny sip, enjoying the flavor as it stimulates my tongue.

“So you were able to hook up Demetria today?”

“Is that what she told you?”

“That’s what
you
told me. I haven’t talked to her today.”

“Right. Yeah, she practically cursed me out because I had bailed out on her regarding her PC, but I got her a new motherboard and some other accessories. So now she’s able to get her taxes done.”

“Well, wonderful. I’m glad you were able to help her.”

“You know, let’s change the subject again, baby.”

“But, Seaphes, you assured me I can talk to you about anything under the sun. Did you really mean that? Or is there a list of preapproved topics I should refer to?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re starting to sound like Demetria.”

“Why do you mention her so much? Demetria this, Demetria that. Demetria, Demetria, Demetria.”

“Hold on here. What’s wrong, Veron? I want us to have a nice time, but you’re going out of your way to pick a fight. What’s up with you?” He peers at me for a moment. “I’m beginning to think that you are incapable of being happy.”

“I-I, I’ll be right back,” I say, feeling grief stricken.

I end up hiding out in the ladies’ room, my usual course of action when I am paralyzed to the point of not being able to think rationally. I want to kick myself. Instead, I get on the phone.

“Yo, what’s up, Vee?”

“Michael West, you gotta help me.” I explain things to him, and once again, he hits it right on the nose.

“You keep reminding the man that other women exist. Why do that? As far as he is concerned, you are number one. You’re with him on the date, not anyone else. And you gotta keep things that way. Be selfish as hell. Strike Demetria’s name from your mouth. I know that’s your girl and all, but I doubt that she’s talking about you when she’s with any of her men.”

“You are so right. Thank you, Mike. You always make so much sense.”

“Anytime, love. Let me know how things go.”

I hang up and turn on the warm water so I can splash my face. I pat it dry and I stare at myself in the mirror and think, “I am number one. I am number one.”