My Big Bottom Blessing (12 page)

 

6. Jesus often asked people a question like this: “Do you want to be healed?” He didn't ask to get permission, He asked because being healed often requires a lot from people emotionally. It requires being willing to let go of our claim on our wounds—any identity we've been getting from our hurts. With that in mind, if Jesus were to ask you the question, what would you say? ______________________________________________
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There's no denying it. There's nothing fun about looking at a wound. And the deeper the injury, the harder to behold. But there's nothing sweeter than the feeling of healing that comes after that encounter. It's kind of like childbirth. There's nothing quite so painful as the experience of labor and delivery, but the beauty of the child nearly erases all the pain. That's why women all over the world continue to bear children—even multiple times. The pain is worth it.

Just as with childbirth, we all have different support needs when it comes to our journey to healing. Some of us will “go natural,” needing only quiet time with the Holy Spirit who will bring to light all we need to see. Others of us will take all the support we can get (“I know I just got here, but give me the epidural”). Either way, it's glorious to the Father. It's the end result He's looking forward to, and if we seek Him, He will be there every step of the way.

• Psalm 41:4—I said, “L
  ORD
  , be merciful to me;
  heal
  my soul, for I have sinned against You.”
  
• Isaiah 61:1—The Spirit of the Lord G
  OD
  is upon Me, because the L
  ORD
  has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to
  heal
  the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.
  
• Isaiah 58:8—Then your light shall break forth like the morning, your
  healing
  shall spring forth speedily, and your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the L
  ORD
  shall be your rear guard.
  
• Jeremiah 33:6—Behold, I will bring it health and
  healing;
  I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth.
  
• Malachi 4:2—But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise with
  healing
  in His wings.
  
• Matthew 4:23—And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and
  healing
  all kinds of sickness and all kinds of disease among the people.
  
• Luke 9:6—So they departed and went through the towns, preaching the gospel and
  healing
  everywhere.
  
• Luke 9:11—But when the multitudes knew it, they followed Him; and He received them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and
  healed
  those who had need of healing.
  
• Act 10:38—How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and
  healing
  all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.
  

 

Forgiveness.
It's just one of those words that doesn't always evoke warm fuzzies—unless, of course, we're talking about the forgiveness extended to
ourselves.
It's kind of like the word
mortgage.
While we all want to qualify for a loan so we can get our cute little house, we also know that we're gonna be writing a big fat check every month. Likewise, we all want to qualify for forgiveness, but on the other hand, it's quite costly. You see, when we receive forgiveness, we must also be willing to give it.

Whether we like the thought of forgiving people or not, it is something God absolutely requires. He requires forgiveness because it represents a total trust in Him. A trust that He will take complete and total care of the wrongs that have been done to us—including dealing with those who have hurt us. And trusting someone with all of that isn't always easy.

It's important to take a look at what God has to say about forgiveness—just in case we're tempted to minimize its role in our lives.

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21–22)

Seventy times seven was Jesus' way of saying “forgive forever.” And notice that Jesus doesn't put any disclaimers on it such as “unless someone has made a fool of you,” or “unless someone steals something extremely precious.” No. It's just “you must forgive, and you must forgive forever.”

And how about this one:

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30–32)

We see here that God isn't asking us to do anything He hasn't done first. He's forgiven us, which gives Him the credibility to ask us to do the same. With kindness and love, He asks us to travel a road with which He's personally familiar. He knows the way is good.

We also see in those verses that our bitterness, anger, and ill will toward one another actually
grieve
the Holy Spirit. It distresses Him. It makes Him heavy hearted and sorrowful. Our lack of forgiveness thus works against us. We definitely don't want to hurt the heart of the very One whose help we need the most. No, we need as much of God as we can get since hope and healing come from Him.

So, right now you might be thinking, “Okay, I get that I'm being asked to forgive, but what happens if I don't?” It's a good question, kind of like asking, “What happens if I don't pay my mortgage?” And the honest answer is, you will be able to enjoy your cute little house just long enough to decorate the rooms, but if you refuse to pay long enough, legal action will be taken against you.

It's the same with forgiveness. Once we've accepted the forgiveness God extends to us, He allows us to enjoy it—to thrill at the thought that we've been given such an amazing gift. And then He asks us to pay. No, He doesn't ask us to pay for
our own
forgiveness. It really is a free gift. But He asks us to forgive in return. It is costly, but if we choose not to do it, we will pay a much greater price.

There's a great example of this in the Bible. It's from Matthew 18.

In the story there was a king who had some servants who owed him lots of money (let's say tens of thousands of dollars). He was putting them all in jail for the debt, when one of the servants had the nerve to appeal to the mercy of the king. He begged, “Please don't do this. I will repay you.” He must have been really convincing, because the king not only lets him out of going to jail, but forgives the entire debt and sends him on his merry way.

Now, this forgiven servant (we'll call him Freebird for short) enjoys his freedom for a while and then decides he's gonna call in some debts that are owed to him. Freebird has this person who owes him something like a hundred bucks, and he demands to be paid immediately. Of course, the guy begs for time to pay (just as Freebird himself did from the king), but he is denied it. Freebird sends this guy to debtor's prison. No mercy.

Now, what do you think happens when the king hears about this? Well, he is furious. In fact, this is what he says to Freebird: “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?” (verses 32–33). The king was so angry that the Bible says he delivered Freebird not to jail, but to the
torturers
until he would pay back his original debt in full. (Can you say clipped wings?)

Here's the real kicker. Right after Jesus gets done telling Peter this whole story, He says this in verse 35: “So my heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” Ouch!

If you're like me, you read those words spoken by Jesus and wonder, “Does God really deliver us to
torturers
just because we won't forgive? I mean, come on. That doesn't seem fair.” I agree, it does seem tough…at first. But, let's take a closer look.

I think it's safe for me to assume that we're all okay with the beginning of the story, right? We'd all agree that we—like Freebird—have been forgiven much. I know I have. I was (and still am) in desperate need of mercy.

And I think we'd all agree that Freebird was being a huge jerk when he refused to forgive the guy who owed him so very little. What a creep, huh? (We would
never
do that…would we?) In fact, I think we probably all feel a little sense of justice when Freebird gets delivered to the torturers. After all, doesn't he deserve it? (Hey, pass me one of those sharp pokers.)

But then God turns the spotlight onto us, and this is where we stop liking the story. He compares us directly to Freebird—like we're being as big a jerk as he was when we don't forgive—and this is where confusion can set in if we don't remember the heart of our Father.

At this point we've got to pan out for a broader view. We've got to think of the full nature of God, and not just focus on a close-up of Jesus saying (in a cynical tone, of course) “You're going to the torturers!” (followed by evil chuckle). This is not what's going on here.

We've got to think this one through. First, remember, we believe that God is good, don't we? I hope you answered yes. And if God is good (in fact the epistle writer defines God as love in 1 John 4:8), would He ever ask us to do something that isn't good for us? Of course not.

When He asks us to forgive, He's got our best interest in mind. In fact,
not forgiving
is very harmful to us.

Think of it this way: If your child, or a child you love, was doing something that was bad for her—in fact could hurt her for the rest of her life—wouldn't you do anything to stop it? What if the only thing that would work was allowing circumstances to get a bit uncomfortable for her for a while? Maybe even painful? Would you do it? It takes an amazing amount of love for someone to make a decision like that because most often, allowing uncomfortable circumstances in a child's life means accepting them for ourselves too. (Nothing fun about watching a grounded child mope around the house.)

God loves us enough to let circumstances become as uncomfortable as it takes. He will even allow us to be delivered to torturers if that's how stubborn we insist on being. And though He does not want us to be there, because of His great love for us He will allow us to sit in debtor's jail a while.

When you close your eyes and imagine the torturers, what do you see? I picture the monstrous evil characters from Middle Earth in
The Lord of the Rings.
I see massive bodies covered with calcified warts topped off with one-eyed heads that ooze pus and sweat. But that's not really what they are.

The torturers aren't that frightening, or else we would spend as little time with them as we possibly could. No, the torturers we deal with are far more subtle. In fact, it can take years to recognize them.

Let me tell you about some of my former torturers, so you can get an idea of how they work. The first one was Entitlement. I suffered under the hands of this taskmaster for many years, for it is so convincing in its approach. What Entitlement tells us is so easy to believe because it appeals to our selfish nature—any of our orphan thinking that might be hanging around. Here's what Entitlement told me:

ENTITLEMENT
:
You have a total right to be bitter…and angry.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
I do, don't I?

ENTITLEMENT
:
You're darn straight. No one should say things like that about you. Until she apologizes to you properly, she doesn't deserve anything from you.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
That's right! No one's going to treat me that way.

See, it looks so fair—so right—on the surface. But really, it's a trap. A trap to stay stuck in pride and selfish living. To stay stuck in an “all-about-me” mindset rather than an “all-about-Him” life of freedom.

Here's another of my torturers: Self-pity. Self-pity and Entitlement often work together as a team.

SELF-PITY
:
You've really had to endure a lot of hardship in your life, haven't you?

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
Yes, I really have. (
Deep sigh.
)

SELF-PITY
:
No one really understands your pain, do they?

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
Not really. How did you know?

SELF-PITY
:
Oh, I just know. No one really cares either, do they? They're all content to go on with their happy lives and let you writhe in your pain.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
I know. If people only knew how many tears I cry each day. Nobody likes me.

Maybe you'll recognize my next torturer: Victim Mentality.

VICTIM MENTALITY
:
I can't believe you're able to get out of bed in the mornings. After all, you have been abused at every turn.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
I know. But shouldn't I be doing more in my life?

VICTIM MENTALITY
:
No! How can you expect any more out of yourself? My gosh! Most people don't ever experience that kind of abuse. You're doing just fine. Just fine.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
But doesn't the Bible tell me I can do great things because of Jesus?

VICTIM MENTALITY
:
It does, but you were abused! You're a graduate from the school of very, very hard knocks. You can't forget that.

Or how about my next torturer: Bitterness?

BITTERNESS
:
I just can't imagine that there is a fire hot enough for all of those people to burn in.

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
I totally agree.

BITTERNESS
:
Truth be told, I think they should have to pay for each and every thing they've done to you. Chinese water torture perhaps?

FAT CHRISTIAN WOMAN
:
Yeah, and sleep deprivation. That will show them. They will pay.

Living with these torturers is not really living. Though they can seem to be on our side, these mental strongholds truly subject us to a slow death—keeping us from joy, peace, and the experience of giving and receiving real love. The torturers keep us securely locked in unforgiveness.

In their book,
The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling
, Drs. Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins say this about this prison: “Unforgiveness is a cancer that eats away at the very soul of a person.”
¹²

Not only does refusing to forgive others affect our emotional life, but there have been scientific studies conducted that connect unforgiveness with poor physical health. According to one report, “The core components of unforgiveness (e.g., anger, hostility, blame, fear) have been associated with health and disease outcomes.”
¹³
In studies like this, unforgiveness is considered a stressor in our lives, and can be just as responsible for stress-related diseases as our Post-it-Note-covered refrigerators are.

Now most stressors in our life can be dealt with by adding a few hours of peaceful stretching into the schedule here and there. Not so with unforgiveness. This one requires a different commitment—a heart-level commitment. It requires a willingness to listen to what God is trying to tell us and to move toward trusting Him with all we can of our hearts. After taking a good look at the alternative, doesn't this seem the healthier choice?