My Blood Approves (19 page)

At first, I didn’t understand what he was
doing, but then I felt his thumb stroking my jugular vein. He was
feeling my pulse, and a look of sheer pleasure passed across his
face. A warm hunger radiated from him that I didn’t grasp.

“
Jack!” Ezra’s voice broke
into the room, and Jack instantly dropped his hand, as if he’d been
caught with his hand up my shirt instead of on my throat. “It’s
late. Milo’s tired. Maybe you should take them home. Unless you
don’t feel up to it. In which case, I’d be more than
happy-”

“
No, I’ve got it,” Jack
replied gruffly and stood up.

Ezra gave Jack a disapproving look as we
walked out of the living room, but Jack refused to look at him. For
me, Ezra gave a reassuring smile and said he hoped that I would
come back soon. Mae hugged me tightly at the door, but she hugged
Milo even tighter.

During the car ride home, Milo rattled on
endlessly about what an amazing house Jack had and how great Mae
was and all the fun things he’d done while I had been asleep. I
rested my head against the cold glass of the window, and found that
for once, I had very little to say.

I still didn’t know what Jack and his family
were, but they definitely couldn’t be trusted. Peter wanted to hate
me because for some reason, he might kill me. He’d been rude and
kept me at a distance because he didn’t want to hurt me. He was
trying to protect me.

Despite this, I loved Jack and Mae and even
Ezra, and I definitely felt something strong for Peter. And I knew
that if being with them meant that I would die, I would still see
them again. It would be worse to live without them.

When Milo and I went up to our apartment, I
felt dazed. Part of it was coming to terms with my impending death,
but most of it was just an after effect of being with Peter. He was
like a drug, and I was still coming down from the high.

I flopped down on the couch while Milo
buzzed about the kitchen. Being over there had the opposite effect
on him, and he was totally energized.

“
Aren’t you hungry?” Milo
asked from the kitchen. I heard pots banging, but I just buried
myself deeper into the couch. “I’m starving. You know what’s weird?
We were over them from five o’clock at night until after two in the
morning, and I never once saw them eat or drink
anything.

“
In fact, when I wanted
something to drink, Mae had to rummage around the kitchen for a
glass and some water,” Milo continued, without pausing for a
breath. “You know, I don’t even think they have any food in that
house. They must order a lot of take out. Which is weird cause Mae
really seems like the Suzie Homemaker type.”

Milo continued to ramble on but I was
starting to drift to sleep. But then it all clicked. I understood
fully what Jack and Peter were.

But before I could actually manifest the
word and put it all together, I fell asleep, and lost it
entirely.

- 12 -

Dreamlessly, I’d managed to sleep for
thirteen hours on the couch. Whatever happened with Peter, it had
been tantamount to overdosing on sleeping pills.

I stretched slowly, trying to work out the
kinks and cricks in my back and neck. Milo sat at the computer, and
he just smirked at my struggle to wake up.

“
Morning, sunshine,” Milo
chirped. He still seemed hyper from the night before.

“
Shut up,” I
grumbled.

Already, Peter filled the tired fog of my
brain. Like some kind of hang over, my skin hurt and my head
throbbed dully. When I breathed in deeply, I could still remember
the way he smelled, like apples and something familiar that I
couldn’t quite place.

“
What are you doing?” Milo
jolted me out of my daydream. He looked at me like I had totally
lost it, so I stood up and decided that I had to get myself in
gear.

“
Nothing,” I told him
absently.

Walking to the bathroom, I pulled my phone
out of my pocket. It was almost four in the afternoon, so maybe
Jack would be awake by now. I shut the bathroom door, but before I
could even actually go to the bathroom, I had to text Jack
first.

I need to see you
today.
I text messaged him, and then
started the agonizing wait for him to respond.

After I showered, and he still hadn’t
responded, I started getting a nervous pit in my stomach. Maybe I
had done something wrong, and I wasn’t going to be allowed over
there anymore.

Or maybe Jack had just grown bored with me.
It was probably irritating him that I fawned over his brother, and
I would hate me if I were Jack.

When he’d been talking to Ezra, they had
said that I couldn’t be alone with Peter. Maybe that meant that I
couldn’t be around him at all anymore. Somehow, I had ruined
everything.

I couldn’t take it anymore, so I decided to
call Jack, and find out what was going on. When I got his voicemail
instead of him, I was near tears.

“
Jack, it’s just me. Alice.
Um… I just wanted to apologize for last night. I know that I…
overreacted to everything, and I’m really sorry. I just… I really
want see you today. We need to talk. Okay. So… just call me back, I
guess. Bye.”

Going through all the routine of getting
ready, I managed to dress myself and apply makeup, but none of it
felt real. It felt like some shell of myself going through the
motions. My mind was completely locked onto the way Peter smelled
and the way he looked through me and how my body felt pulled
towards him.

When I had finished getting ready, I just
sat on the couch, staring off into nothing, and tried to figure out
what I would do if I never talked to Peter or Jack again.

“
What’s going on with you?”
Milo still sat at the computer, but he couldn’t ignore my zombie
stare anymore. I shook my head and swallowed hard, so he got up
from what he was doing and came over to sit next to me. “What
happened last night over there?”

“
Nothing,” I
mumbled.

“
Alice, come on.” He gave
me a hard look, the one that said
I-know-you-better-than-anyone-so-there’s-no-point-in-lying. “Did
Jack’s brother do something to you?”

“
No.” I bit my lip and
wondered if he had done something to me. Why couldn’t I get him out
of my head? It was as if he had crawled underneath my skin but not
in a bad way. “I just really like him. Like more than I’ve ever
liked anyone. It’s completely… visceral.”

“
Did he blow you off or
something?”

I wasn’t sure if Peter sending me out of his
room was rejecting me or done to protect me… or maybe both. My
phone felt very heavy in my hand, and I looked down at it, willing
Jack to call me and fix everything.

“
I don’t know,” I answered
honestly. “Jack hasn’t texted me back. I think maybe he’s mad at me
or something. I think I did something wrong.”

“
You did not do anything.”
Milo was so incredulous that I looked over at him. “They love you
over there, like crazy love. Mae talked non-stop about you, and
Jack looks at you like you walk on water. It’s a little sickening
actually.”

“
Really?” That made me feel
a little better, but Jack still hadn’t called, so I wasn’t
over-the-top better.

“
Yeah.” He nodded, then
looked down at my hands and wrinkled his nose. “Your nails are
chipped really bad. Why don’t I repaint them while you wait for
Jack to wake up?”

“
You think he’s still
sleeping?” I asked hopefully, and let my brother take my
hands.

I had left my make up bag splayed out on the
coffee table, and Milo leaned over and grabbed the nail polish
remover, cotton balls, and dark blue nail polish.

“
We left at like two-thirty
in the morning, and everybody in that house was wide awake. Plus,
he’s some rich, young playboy that doesn’t have a job. What does he
really have to get up for?” He did have a point, and I finally
started to relax.

“
Considering this isn’t the
first time you’ve painted my nails, I probably should’ve figured
out sooner that you were gay,” I teased him. Milo had been painting
my nails for as long as he could paint anything. When I really
looked back at life with him, there were a lot of obvious hints
that I should’ve picked up on.

“
Probably,” he
agreed.

After he finished painting my nails, he sat
with me on the couch. He talked a little bit about how much he
liked Mae and everybody, and that he hoped that I wouldn’t mind if
he went back over there again. Honestly, I didn’t mind at all. It
was nice being able to be around him and Jack at the same time.

Milo pointed out that he’d never met Peter,
and we both thought that was strange. He hadn’t come down from his
room all night, and Mae hadn’t given Milo a tour of the upstairs.
Like they were purposely trying to keep them apart.

My heart pounded painfully when I realized
that Peter might actually be dangerous, and maybe it wasn’t the
safest place for Milo to be hanging out. I considered saying
something to that effect when my phone rang.

“
Hey, sorry, I didn’t call
you sooner,” Jack said when I answered. Just hearing him made me
elated, but his voice had a tightness to it. Something was
bothering him. “I ended up having a really late night, so I just
woke up.”

“
Sorry. I hope none of it’s
my fault.” But I knew it was my fault. I had done something wrong
last night.

“
No, it’s not,” Jack
reassured me warmly. “It was just … a little family crisis, I
guess.”

“
What happened?” Anxiety
gripped me, and Milo shot me a confused, concerned look, but I just
shook my head at him.

“
Um… I’ll tell you when I
pick you up, okay? Will you be ready soon?” He was definitely
keeping something from me.

“
I’m ready now.” I was glad
that I had gotten up and gotten ready before he called. If I had
heard this when I first woke up, I would’ve rushed to his house in
last night’s clothes with greasy hair.

“
Good. I’ll be there soon.”
He hung up, probably to prevent me from asking more questions, so I
flipped my phone shut.

“
What happened?” Milo’s
worried expression mirrored my own, but I was too frazzled to
answer him. Hurriedly, I slipped on shoes and grabbed my dark blue
cardigan to throw on. “Alice?”

“
I don’t know. He wouldn’t
tell me.”

Why did I have to feel like crying? I swear,
I didn’t really cry this much. Most of the time, I was a really
sane, normal person. But something about Jack and Peter made me
want to burst into tears all the time.

My emotions seemed to be on overdrive. It
was like I had lived my whole life using just the bare minimum, and
now this family had switched them into max.

“
Is everyone okay?” Milo
leaned over the back of the couch, watching me rush about. I
probably had everything I needed, but I kept feeling like I was
forgetting something, then running back to make sure I had
it.

“
I don’t know, Milo!” I
snapped. “He didn’t tell me anything!”

“
Sorry.” He sounded hurt,
and I wanted to apologize, but I didn’t have time. Jack would be
here “soon,” which could mean anywhere from five seconds to fifteen
minutes. “Do you want me to come with?”

“
Not today.” I finally
managed an apologetic smile, and he slumped down in the couch.
“Another time, I promise. Just… not today, okay?”

“
Yeah, yeah, just
go.”

“
Sorry. I’ll talk to you
later.” And with that, I was out the door.

I should’ve said more, but I couldn’t even
wait for the elevator today. I pushed the call button, and when the
doors didn’t immediately open, I ran down the stairs.

Even in the rush I had been in, Jack had
still managed to beat me outside. He’d driven the Jeep, and I
practically dove into it. I looked at him expectantly, and he just
smiled grimly at me.

“
What happened?” I demanded
as we pulled away from my apartment building.

“
And a ‘how do you do’ to
you too,” Jack replied dryly.

“
Jack!”

“
Sorry.” He stared out
straight ahead but kept taking sidelong glances at me. “So… last
night, after you left… Peter left.”

“
What do you mean left?” My
heart had already started pounding and my stomach twisted in knots,
and Jack just groaned. “Jack? Where’d he go? Why’d he leave?
Because of me?”

“
You have to calm down,”
Jack sighed. “This is why I didn’t do it over the phone, but maybe
I should’ve.” Then he looked at me somberly, his eyes pleading with
me. “Please calm down.”

“
I will if you just tell me
what’s going on!” I said, but I tried to slow my breathing and the
frantic beating of my heart.

“
We don’t really know where
he went.” He had waited for me to calm down a bit, but he kept his
eyes fixed on the road, like he was trying really hard not to be
distracted by me. His knuckles had gone white from the way he
gripped the steering wheel.

“
Ezra has some ideas
because…” He trailed off and rubbed his temple. “He left because
of… You can’t take this wrong way. I know that you will, though.
You always take everything the wrong way. If I said, ‘hey you look
nice today,’ you’d say, ‘and what I don’t look nice
everyday?’”

“
Jack, please focus.” I
wanted to yell at him and make him just hurry up and tell me what
was going on.