My Dear Bessie (17 page)

I believe that coffee and cocoa are still not rationed in England. Could you, do you think, send me a quantity of both? We visit three families regularly and two others irregularly. I
think I would like about two lbs of coffee and a pound of cocoa sent to me to present to them, I can split it amongst them. If you can get a firm to send it (there was a place by the Monument) it may be better. Register it, if possible, please. You may think this a funny request, but do you know these people have not had cocoa, tea or coffee for nearly four years. We have been able to take a few spoonfuls to a couple of them – they think it ‘delicious'.

I love you.

Chris

12 November 1944

My Dearest,

The British Authorities have now announced stabilisation of the currency here, at 600 to the £1. Any of the old drachma issued by the Germans can be exchanged, at the fair price of 39 billion drachma to the £1. (39,000,000,000,000.) Soon we shall be able to buy fairly easily and know that the people are aware of the value of money.

All that I want to do now is to come and comfort you, to tell you the flying bombs and V2 rockets need not frighten you, that together we shall always be safe. I want to tell you that nothing can stop our union and our joining, our loving and our living together. I think I am more pleased now about your willingness
to be a piece of furniture. You know that it is not that I shall ever treat you as such, it is that I want your complete trust, that you repose your full confidence in me to do as I will.

I hope to let you have some coherent account of Greece later. But for the moment, I am still in the overwhelmed state. The scenery is grand, everything is green and fresh, even to the little girls who spy you coming, rush to you with a little posy, and then run quickly away to watch you walk away with them.

No, I have not told my brother, or anyone, about my relationship with you. He must be most well informed concerning the number of letters that pass between us, and probably he wonders. But I shall not tell anyone. I suppose you had to tell Lil Hale.

Only little girls have wanted to kiss me. I do not get in the way of older females. In the nearby town there are many prostitutes. My Greek is much less limited than it was, although I do not swear that my pronunciations are always perfect.

I love you.

Chris

16 November 1944

My Dearest,

I am impatient to receive your second handkerchief. That is what
I must tell you before I go on to ordinary, trivial things. I want to smell it; I want to squeeze it in my hand; I want to press my lips to it. And I want you to know that I am doing it, proudly, gratefully, happily and in love of you. I have today sent some sultanas, and so on. But – what is the good of me mentioning anything but this great feeling I have for you now, will have for always.

I love you.

Chris

30 November 1944

Dear Bessie,

What a triumph for you with the pancakes! I wish I could have shared it, there and then. Did you have the lemon with them or are they long ago consumed?

Thanks for your good work with the cocoa and coffee. I am sure it will be appreciated by the Greeks, and you know that I appreciate it, appreciate you.

I am not a football fan, I am sorry to say. I have a far better idea of what constitutes ‘off side' than you have, but I do not think I could pass as an expert before your Dad and Wilfred. The only knowledge of teams I have is of The Arsenal – my local team when I was a boy, and I could talk for a long time about Jock
Rutherford's bald head. You can tell me all about football. I shall not tell you much!

I hope you are feeling well and not too unhappy. These rockets must be shaking everyone, but I hope you will be as brave as usual, and that they will not interfere with your sleep too much.

Remember that you are mine, that I want, that I love you.

Chris

5 December 1944

Dearest,

I do not like you to say you feel I am going to lecture you. I do want you to think of me as one who is fully entitled to discuss all that you do, in the same way that I am very happy to discuss my thoughts and actions with you. If you place any restrictions or reservations upon our interchanges you are saying we are two, not one. And it has pleased me to think that we were one. We cannot explain your actions by flying-rocket bombs or a cold you may have. I think you had better read all my letters, all over again! Anyhow, I sent you yesterday a green envelope, returning your handkerchief. I hope you will accept this as symbolic of my needs, intentions and desires.

I am sorry the elastic has no present purpose with you, perhaps it would be handy for someone at your office who has a baby nephew, like we have. My sister says it is very good and we have just sent her about 10 yards of it.

Regarding your cookery programme. I have no doubt you'll be alright. I reckon I'd be alright myself after the slight Army training in independence that I have had. It could be a fair idea to buy a cookery book if you feel you need one, and I should get a second-hand one for preference. But you should certainly be doing some cooking now. I know that if I was back home I should want to ‘have a go' at things, although probably only while the novelty lasted.

Tell me you believe. Do not worry about present happenings. I am perfectly safe, and like yourself, perfectly superfluous to the situation.

I love you.

Chris

The socialist-led anti-Nazi resistance movement EAM, and its military wing ELAS, had won control of most of Greece, apart from the large cities. This led to civil war between EAM and the right-wing, royalist EDES party. Churchill was alarmed at the prospect of communist rule, and with the return of George Papandreou and the British forces, confrontation with EAM seemed inevitable. After
15 communist protesters were shot dead, fighting broke out between ELAS and the British on 3 December. Chris Barker would soon be involved
.

*
Several of Chris's letters from this period contemplate his possible future placements once victory in Europe was achieved, which now seemed likely. He was clearly under no illusions that the defeat of the Germans would mean an immediate return.

5

Untapped Resources

27 WOOLACOMBE RD

LONDON SE3

6 December 1944

Dearest,

So very worried about what is happening in Greece. On the news tonight, it spoke of it spreading and seems to have become a battle, my worst suspicions of what the British Army went to Greece for are fulfilled. I don't know how this is affecting you and whether the ordinary people are involved. Of course you won't be able to tell me much, I can only just hope for your safety. Your safety – oh Darling! The trouble seems to be centred in Athens, and you spoke of visiting it, so I presume you aren't billeted there. We should have them to settle their own troubles. We will regain the name of perfidious Albion again before this war is through.

Darling, I have no complaints about your letters, I am too happy that it is my body that you want, that occupies your
thoughts. If you didn't write and tell me these things, I should suspect you of being interested in somebody else's body; you keep concentrating on mine, my breasts, my vital vibrant spot, my hands and my desires. You are mine, mine, mine, and don't you forget it, don't you ever forget it. I don't understand what the greater significance of a Greek engagement is, but ours has the greatest significance for me, no Greek one could be greater, you are mine, MINE,
MINE
– to have and to hold until death do us part. You are my husband to be, my glory, my heaven, my hell, we will ride this life together, if you were here now I'd bust your braces, you tantalising lover, Greek engagements! Greater significance! POOH!!!!

Well, I am glad you have 4 blankets to keep you warm, if I was there you wouldn't want any, you'd be hot enough. Here am I, a blooming iceberg of a maiden waiting to be roused into a fire, not just melted but changed into a fire, and there are you, miles and miles away, needing an extra blanket.

During this last month I have reached rock bottom, I now feel something like a convalescent – no longer need a nurse, Christopher, I need the whole vital man in you, your strength, your energy, when, when, when will you make me a whole woman, when will I be done with this frustration, when? Stunted growth, that's what I am suffering from! My body is stunted, my affections are stunted, even my blooming mind suffers from this incompleteness. I want to be your mistress, to be used to the uttermost, I want to fuss you, look after you, I want to be your companion in arms – away with depressions, fed-upness, waiting. Angel, I want to feel human, I am so sick of being a
cold, haughty virgin. Crikey, talk about untapped resources. Why did I have to find the man of my life in the middle of a blooming desert, who then goes on a Cook's tour and then gets himself into a hot spot of trouble. Oh Christopher, I do hope you'll be alright.

‘My apprenticeship' – books, books, books, I am sick of those too; I want to live, live with you, oh! Why couldn't you have come home instead of going to Greece, why can't I come out to Greece, so that I could stand in the way of any stray bullets.