My First - Jason & Katie (17 page)

She had missed out on SO MUCH of so many peoples' lives – people that she loved so much – because she was running, hiding, avoiding...but that was over. She was living in the moment now, baby! For every single minute of the coming weekend she was going to enjoy being right here, right now. She was going to soak it in. She was going to bask. She wasn't going to think about the past, or the future. She was ALL ABOUT the present!

She snorted at herself mentally. Whatever. That would probably last until the next time Jason walked in the room. But WHO CARES! She was making an effort.

All the reasons she had stayed away seemed so unimportant now. She looked around her. She was in a room filled with so many people that she had known since she was a child. They loved her. She loved them.

But, much like the people she worked with, she had been faced today with the very stark realization that she barely knew them now. She felt very much an outsider, and was consumed with a sudden longing to have chosen a different path.

But then she remembered Jason – and his truck – and that old 'fight or flight' feeling came rushing back.

Holy confusion, Batman!

This weekend was turning out to be more of an emotional roller coaster than Katie ever could have prepared for.

She greeted the various ladies at the luncheon as she made her way down the long table to find a seat and a strange wave of rightness came over her. She began feeling less like someone on the outside looking in and more like an integral part. She belonged here. She may not have
been here for awhile, claiming her rightful place among these much-loved women, but that didn't make it any less her rightful place.

She knew about half of the ladies in attendance. She was having fun greeting each new (old) face in turn – it was like old home week. Even though the years had added maturity to their countenances (and in some cases a few wrinkles or a couple of pounds!), their essences remained the same. These were Katie's friends!

And she had thought that she didn't have any.

She took the first available seat that she could find and was turning to greet the person seated to her left when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She lifted her head and saw her mom standing there beaming down at her. Her mom had always had a way of smiling that made Katie feel that, no matter what the world brought her way, she would be okay as long as her mom was smiling at her.

“Hey, sweetie p
ie,” Pam said warmly, her voice infused with equal parts affection and excitement, as Katie stood and hugged her tightly.

Katie had seen her mom about twice a year since she'd been gone. She and Aunt Wendy would come out to California to visit her. They had even stayed for an entire week when Katie had graduated from college.

She knew that she missed her mom, and always enjoyed the visits that she was able to make. But in California, she was always so busy and there were just so many distractions. Even at the end of the visits she admittedly would feel sad when her mom and Aunt Wendy boarded the plane back to Illinois, but she never really felt
empty
. There was always work that she was eager to get back to, always another deadline fast approaching.

Or...maybe it was just that she was so closed down emotionally that she had been numb for the last ten years and not really felt
anything
.

No matter what the reason, she definitely felt somethin
g now as she stood hugging her mom. She held her desperately, not wanting to let go, and she felt tears running down her cheek.

“Is every
thing okay Katie? Are you okay sweetie?” Her mom’s whispered voice was laced heavily with concern.

Katie slowly pulled away from her mother's embrace and took a deep breath. She was reluctant to leave the hug – she felt like she could have stayed there all day! - but she knew that she needed to alleviate the concern that she had heard in her mother's whispered voice. She
plastered her smile back on and said, in as light a tone as she could manage, “I’m fine Mom. I just really miss you!”

Pam’s eyebrows scrunched together suspiciously. When she spoke, her tone revealed that, although she was willing to let it go for the moment, she was by no means convinced. Stroking Ka
tie's hair, she said, “Alright sweetie. If you’re sure.”

“I am, I promise,” Katie said sincerely, looking into her mother's eyes and grasping her hand as she spoke to emphasize her words, “It’s just been a long day. And I’ve only been here a couple of hours!”

A strained laugh escaped from Katie as she tried to end on a joke...which she realized as the words were leaving her mouth wasn't really a joke at all.

“I'm so sorry I couldn’t pick you up at the airport, or at least be there when you got home. I tried to see if Gertie could cover for me today, but she's already working my weekend shifts so I can head up to the wedding. As I'm sure you remember, she's not the most accommodating co-worker,” Pam said as she slid into the empty seat next to Katie, her voice lightening as she started to chat (gossip) about work.

Pam was one of four 911 emergency operators who handled all of Linden County, which included the cities of Harper's Crossing, Preston, and Mallardville. Gertie was the most senior operator at the station, and – needless to say – she had not been particularly pleased when Pam had been promoted ahead of her.

But seriously, Katie thought, getting into the spirit of the gossip – she was like seventy-five! Did she really think that she would be put in a position of authority when she should have been retired for at least fifteen years? Not to mention, she was so crotchety with callers that Katie was sure a YouTube video of one of her calls was bound to go viral at any time. Nevertheless, since there were only four operators, people there did still have to depend on her. Whether they liked it or not.

“Well, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you got the weekend off, Mom!” Katie said, relief flooding her voice, “I don’t know if I could face it without you!”

Katie wasn't looking forward to the barrage of emotions that she would certainly feel this weekend, but knowing that her sweet and supportive mom would be by her side every minute did somehow make it more bearable.

As she sat next to her mother, the two of them surrounded by familiar faces and voices, everyone chatting and laughing and discussing the upcoming nuptials, Katie decided that it was not going to be another 10 years before she returned to Harper's Crossing. That is to say...before she came home.

Pulling out of the back parking lot behind Bella and Salvatore's, Jason could not believe what had just transpired. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that would happen. Well, alright, maybe in his
wildest
dreams. But certainly not in any dream that he ever thought would come to fruition (no pun intended) did he expect what had happened to actually come to pass (that pun somewhat intended).

It had taken every ounce of self-control Jason had within him not to pull Katie down beneath him in the cab of the truck, push her jeans down, and finish what he'd started.

He'd never meant for things to go that far. But it was becoming blatantly obvious that when he was around Katie he could NOT control himself. Normally, he lived by the creed that if you couldn't control a situation then you shouldn't to try to. God grant me the serenity and all that. If a situation was beyond your control, you should just go along for the ride.

He wasn’t sure if that was the best course of action when it came Katie, but he
was
sure that if he didn’t start showing some small amount of self-control around her, then he might just push her away again. This time, it might be for good.

He was just starting to get his body under control as he pulled into the Slater St. construction site. This was the largest job that Sloan Construction had undertaken and he needed to stay on top of it this weekend, weddi
ng or no wedding. Bob, Jason’s dad, was semi-retired and Jason felt more than certain that if, everything went well with this build, then his dad would finally hand over the reins of Sloan Construction to him.

The fall after high school graduation, Jason had headed to college. With Nick’s death and Katie’s disappearing act, Jason was more than ready to high tail it out of Illinois and get to NYU to study journalism. He had loved NYU. He had loved the hustle and bustle of the city, he loved feeling like he was in the middle of something special every minute of the day. He felt like he was really learning a lot about life, and about himself.

Jason came home to Harper's Crossing that Christmas break, secretly hoping that Katie would have returned to visit her mom. But, sadly, that was not the case. After speaking to Pam, Katie’s mom, and finding out that Katie had opted to stay in California for the holiday, Jason made a spur-of-the-minute decision to book a flight out to the Sunshine State to face Katie and discuss what had gone on between them the previous August. He needed to see her, to make sure that she was okay.

Pam told him that she and Wendy had gone out and visited Katie during Thanksgiving break and that their observation had been: Katie was dealing with her grief the same way that Katie dealt with everything – by burying herself in her studies. She did soften that somewhat, however, by saying that Katie genuinely seemed to love her school, and that she had decided to study law.

All of this information should have eased the knot that Jason had not realized until now had been in his stomach since that fateful night in August. But it didn’t. So many things were happening in Katie’s life that Jason didn’t have first-hand knowledge of. He didn't like that feeling. He didn't like it at all. He was used to getting all of his information straight from the source – from Katie. He didn’t like having to hear about her life from a third-party, even if the third-party was her mom. His mind was made up. He had to speak to Katie in person and look her in the eyes to make sure that she was okay.

He booked a flight from O’Hare to LAX that left Christmas Eve. He felt comforted just knowing he held the ticket. Only two more days and he would see his Kit Kat. He would beg for her forgiveness and (knowing Katie) she would lecture him, and maybe even yell...but she would forgive him.

He hoped.

Unfortunately, the day before Jason was to fly to California, his father had a heart attack. Jason had to step in and handle the business. His two older brothers, Seth and Riley, were overseas in the military. His two younger brothers, Alex and Bobby were only 16 and 14. Kids.

There was no one else but Jason. He had no choice.

It seemed like that had been his life's mantra from that point forward. There's no one else but me, I've got no choice. Yep. He may as well have it tattooed across his forehead.

His dad's heart attack, as it turned out, was major, and Jason had to step even further into the business that spring, taking over all daily operations. What had originally been a plan to take a few weeks off turned into a semester, and that turned into a year. One year turned into two, and so it went.

At age 24, after 6 years of working full time for his dad, Bob named Jason V.P. and had basically been grooming him for the last 4 years to take over when Bob retired.

Jason had made peace with it, he really had. He even looked forward to being the one in charge. He had so many plans for Sloan Construction, starting with a logo and a website. Bob was really old fashioned and believed that there was no need for a construction company to have any sort of “new-fangled” website or “fancy-schmancy” logo.

Jason did not agree. He wanted an interactive website with 3D blueprints that were accessible to clients so that changes could be made and approved no matter where the client was. He wanted virtual tours of some of the past jobs. He wanted testimonials, for crying out loud! At the very least!

He thought that they should have Facebook and Twitter accounts. It was time for Sloan Construction to join the Social Media revolution. And they most certainly needed a logo, something that could be put on signs and then hung on fences of the job sites that they were working on. A little brand recognition could go a long way.

Jason also knew that his dad needed to retire. He looked as though he had aged 30 years in the last 10 since his heart attack. He had worked so hard all of his life. God knows, owning his own business and raising five boys
alone could not have been easy on the old man.

Not that Bob had ever complained, mind you. That would have been completely contrary to his nature. He just worked hard and made sure that there was food on the table, clothes on their backs, and punishments handed out if any of the boys started acting up or stepped out of line.

Jason knew that having your wife walk out on you when you had 5 boys ranging in ages from 2 to 12 years old had to shake you up a bit, but Bob never let it show. Not that Jason could remember, anyway.

Jason didn't have many memories left of his mother now. Most of his memories consisted of a constant low-lying sense of dread. The knowledge that he had to be quiet all the time in the house, because she was always resting. He remembered seeing her crying a lot of times when he would go into her room to ask if he could have a snack or if he could go out and play. She would never answer him, she would just wave a hand to dismiss him.