My Heart is Yours (17 page)

Jason was waiting in the vacant lot smoking a
cigarette. As soon as he saw Sam’s bleach blonde hair he dropped
it, stomping it into the ground. Shawn was next to her but when Sam
saw Jason she ran toward him, leaving Shawn’s side. She ran into
Jason so hard that he stumbled backward falling to the ground,
Sam’s lips covering his eagerly. When they pulled away for air
Shawn was walking away.

“I missed you.” Sam said.

Jason smiled and turned them onto their sides facing
each other. “I missed you, too.”

“I’m sorry about Craig. I had no idea he’d react
like that.” Sam’s eyes were filled with sadness.

“It’s not your fault, Sam.” Jason’s voice was gentle
as a puff of cotton.

“I know, but still.” She cuddled up to him. She
wanted to be as close as she could to him for as long as she
could.

They were silent for a while; reveling in each
other’s touch.

“Do you regret it?” Jason asked suddenly.

“That Craig kicked you out and forbid us to see each
other? Yes.” Sam tried to grin but faltered.

“No. Not that. I mean . . . do you regret that we
slept together?”

She looked up at him, into his dark eyes. “No. I
love you Jason. I’ll never regret it.” She laid her head on his
shoulder. “Do you?” She added.

“Of course not.” He looked down at her. “I love you,
too.”

She smiled and they kissed again, soft and
sweet.

“Craig and I got into a huge fight. I told him Mom
and Dad would’ve never done what he did. And I told him I hated
him.”

“Aw, Sam, you don’t really hate him.”

“Yes I do. I haven’t spoken to him and I don’t plan
on it. He’s trying to keep me away from you; I do hate him.”

“No you don’t. He’s your brother. He’s just mad.
He’ll get over it. You will too. Everything’s gonna work out,
baby.”

She sighed and shook her head, her hair swinging
back and forth slowly. “I don’t know Jason.”

He pulled her to him gently and kissed her forehead,
letting his lips linger there.

F
or the past two months
Jason and Sam had been sneaking around. Craig still hadn’t let up,
so Sam and Jason would see each other every night. With the help of
John, Shawn and Matt, Sam would sneak out of her room to meet Jason
in the vacant lot. Jason was staying at Shawn’s house, so at least
Sam knew he was safe. She had to speak to Craig, of course, but she
kept it to a bare minimum.

Sam was lying on Jason’s chest on a grey worn out
blanket in the vacant lot that had become their meeting place. Most
would say that it wasn’t the most picturesque of places to meet but
they were the ones who didn’t really see. See the beauty of the
chipped fountain with the moonlight glinting off of the water. Or
the beauty of the sound of swishing leaves in the trees. They were
the ones who threw their garbage on the ground and muddled that
beauty.

“I wish we didn’t have to sneak around like this.”
Sam said.

“I know. I’m tired of it, too. I just want to be
able to be with you whenever I want.” Jason ran his fingers through
her hair.

Sam sighed. “Me too.”

“We should just run away together.” Jason said with
a smirk, though he was more serious than he sounded.

“What?” Sam asked, giggling.

“Run away with me. So we can be together Sam.” His
voice had become more serious now.

“Jason, come on, you know I can’t do that.” Sam
shook her head.

“Why not? Don’t you love me?” He asked with a
lopsided smile.

“You know I love you. More than anything.” She said,
running her fingers through Jason’s black hair. “But I can’t just
leave. At the very least I have to finish the few classes I’m
taking this semester. And John and Matt are here. And the other
guys. They’re my family. I can’t just leave them.” She kissed him
on the cheek.

“Alright. Then marry me.”

“What?”

***

***

“I
said . . . marry
me.”

“Are you serious?” Sam asked.

“Of course I am.” Jason stared steadily into her
eyes.

“Jason. What?” Sam shook her head like a dog
shedding off water.

He laughed at her shock and kissed the tip of her
nose. She took a quivering breath. “We can’t just get married.”

“Why not?”

“Because. Well, well because . . .” Her hands
flailed about uselessly.

He raised his eyebrows. Sighing, Sam finally said,
“We probably can’t afford a wedding Jason.”

“It doesn’t have to be a big wedding. Just your
brothers, Shawn, Chris, Juliana. Maybe some of your teachers, since
they adore you.”

Sam blushed a light shade of peach and rolled her
eyes. The moonlight caught a glint on her hair that bounced off of
it radiantly.

“I’d say my family too but all I have is my dad and
he doesn’t care if I’m dead in a ditch, so I know he won’t care if
I’m getting married. He’d probably show up drunk and beat me right
at the altar. I have no family.” Jason said.

Sam caressed Jason’s cheek and leaned her forehead
against his. Light as a feather she pressed her lips to his.

“That’s not true.” She whispered. “The guys are your
family. My brothers are your family. My family is your family.”

Jason smiled weakly as a tear escaped from his eyes.
Then his smile became genuine and mischievous. He said, “You’d be
family too if you were my wife.”

“Jason.”

“Sam, I’m not joking.” He took her face in his
hands. “I am completely serious.”

“How would we afford a house? We can’t live with my
brothers. Well I mean we could, but would we really want to?”

Suddenly Jason looked sheepish. He started to say
something but hesitated.

“Jason.” Sam said firmly. “What is it?”

“I’ve been putting away money for months now
Sam.”

“Months?” She almost squeaked out the word.

“Actually, well I uh, I don’t wanna lie to you,
baby. It’s been over a year since I started saving. I have enough
money saved up for a small wedding and almost enough for a down
payment on a house.”

“You’ve been planning this for that long?” Sam asked
quietly.

“Well I didn’t have a date planned when I would ask
or anything, but I knew I was gonna ask eventually and I wanted to
be prepared when I did.” He answered.

“Oh, Jason.” Sam closed her eyes. She knew she would
marry Jason at some point. But was now the right time? The
responsible, career oriented, somewhat feminist Sam would say no.
Finish school, move out of Craig’s. But how long would that take?
She didn’t want to wait that long to marry Jason. Was she being too
impulsive? What if something happened? Suddenly images of their
wedding, honey moon, setting up their house, cuddling in bed, their
first child, setting up the nursery, family dinners, Easters and
Christmases, and her and Jason growing old together flooded her
mind. And she knew. She knew she wasn’t being impulsive at all.

“Sam?”

She opened her eyes to look at Jason’s face. The
face of the man she’d be waking up next to every day for the rest
of her life. Once they were married.

“Sam?”

“Yes.” She said.

“Yes what?”

“Yes. My answer’s yes.” She said.

“Yes? It’s a yes?” Jason echoed.

“Yes! Yes, it’s a yes! I will marry you!” Sam
shouted.

“You will?” Jason had never smiled like this in his
life.

“Yes!” Sam shouted again.

They beamed and laughed and tickled each other
rolling around on the ground like two giddy children.

“Are you ready to do this?” Jason asked.

“No.” Sam answered.

“Ready now?” He asked.

“No.” She repeated.

Jason gave her hand a quick squeeze.

After a deep breath she said, “Okay.” And they
walked through the white front door to her house at 3:22 in the
morning.

“Hopefully we live long enough to get married.” Sam
said, letting the door slam behind her. “Because Craig’s going to
kill us.”

Someone started on the couch and another figure shot
up in the arm chair. Shawn and Chris were staying over again. Chris
was probably too drunk to walk home and Shawn’s dad was probably
home for once. Which meant it was better if Shawn wasn’t.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Shawn whispered
fiercely. “Are you out of your God damned minds?”

“We need to tell Craig something.” Sam said.

“Better be something good.” Chris muttered.

“It is.” Jason said. “We’re getting married.”

The statement was met with two blank stares. Then
Shawn said, “Craig’s gonna kick your ass.” Just then Craig came
around the corner and flipped on the living room light. John and
Matt followed behind him, rubbing their eyes.

“What the hell?” Craig said.

“Hi Craig.” Sam said casually, as if she was simply
coming home from her class at the community college.

“Samantha.” Craig said slowly, as if he was
mystified as to how she was standing here in front of him, instead
of asleep in her bed.

“Jason.” He said in a completely different tone. Not
so much mystified as murderous. “I thought I told you to stay out
of my house?”

Jason opened his mouth but nothing came out. He just
opened and closed it a few times like a goldfish.

“Don’t blame him.” Sam interjected, glowing by the
light of the moon. “I brought him here.”

“You weren’t even supposed to be seeing him. How’d
you get out of the house without me knowing?”

“She had help.” Shawn said.

“You helped her?” Craig’s murderous tone was now
turned on Shawn.

“Not just him. Me too.” John said.

Craig looked all around him. “All of you? All of you
were helping her sneak out?”

“Leave them alone Craig. I could’ve told them I
wasn’t going to sneak out but I didn’t.”

“How long have you been sneaking out to see him?”
Craig’s voice was flat as a sheet of ice.