My Life as a Doormat (in Three Acts) (13 page)

Approaching, I tried to stand on my tiptoes to see what was under the tent. A physicist doing stand-up? Now, that would be something to watch. I couldn't see much, so I leaned toward the guy next to me.

“What's going on?” I whispered.

“He's doing a live broadcast from the campus today.”

“Who?”

“Cinco Dublin.”

I'd always dreamed of my knees going weak for a man, but not in this way. I think I swayed and the guy next to me stepped away instead of grabbing my elbow. I managed to recover myself while simultaneously offering that everything's-perfectly- lovely smile. I had to stop doing that.

I shimmied between people until I could see Cinco. Over one woman's left shoulder I finally got a glimpse. He had headphones on, and there was a man sitting next to him. Both had microphones. My ears finally tuned in to his voice, which was coming from a small speaker set on the ground in front of the table. A couple of radio-station people, evident by the way they proudly wore their identical T-shirts, milled around behind him.

“We're going to take a short break, and we'll be back with you in just a few minutes. Stay tuned as we broadcast live from Boston University!”

Cinco took off his headphones and glanced toward the crowd. I ducked and managed to bow out semigracefully. A stream of students came through the front doors of the science building, which was opposite Cinco's tent, so I headed that way, trying not to look behind me when I walked up the steps. I begged whoever was listening inside my head not to let him recognize me.

I made it inside safely and took the stairs to the third floor. The physics department, on the west side, proudly displayed famous scientists' pictures in the glass case next to the office door. Apparently this week was “Discover a New Formula” week. The cardboard letters hanging from the shelf behind the glass said so.

I opened the door, a little unfamiliar with my setting. I'd only been up here to see Edward two or three times. It wasn't like the English department, that was for sure. There was laughter in the physics department, but it was rigid and so high-brow that it was useless for the average person to try to figure out the joke.

A skinny, sulky woman at the desk looked up and plainly couldn't manage words, so she just stared at me.

“I'm looking for Edward.”

“Dr. Crowse is probably still in his classroom.”

I waited for more, but she was already back to her reading.

“Which classroom is that?”

“38-E.”

I walked out of the office and followed the corridor around until I found it. The door was shut, so I peeked inside the small window. The classroom was mostly empty except for two students still gathering their things and a scholarly looking woman standing near Edward, talking to him.

I wanted to walk in, but I didn't want to disturb them, so I watched a moment and soon discovered that I should've barged in. Unfortunately for Edward and Scholar Girl, I speak fluent body language.

She fingered her glasses for no reason, pushed one hip out in an apparent attempt to look casual, and laughed on cue. Even though I couldn't hear what Edward was saying, his expression made it clear he thought he was being very witty. Edward wasn't witty, was he? I mean, he was stale. Not stale in a bad way. Stale like . . . like a crouton. It's what you expect from a crouton, and if a crouton was stale, it could really damage a salad. “Hi, babe,” I said, pushing the door open. I'd never called him “babe” once in our relationship. I'm not even sure I could describe with words the look on his face. He slid away from the woman and tried to smile, then let out a laugh that sounded more like a whimper.

“Hi . . . Leah. What are you doing here?” He asked the question while looking at Scholar Girl. I was looking at her too. She noticed us both and excused herself to walk stiffly out the door, hips in their proper place.

“Surprise.” I grinned. He didn't grin back.

“I've got class,” he said, his previous witty expression apparently out the door as well.

“Looks like class is out,” I said.

He eyed me. “Why are you here?”

I sighed and dropped the shtick. “I found out this morning that Kate is having a dinner party for the family to meet her new boyfriend. She really wants us to come.”

“Kate your sister?”

“That's the one.”

Edward gathered his things. “I'm not in the mood to be social.”

“It's important to her. And to me.”

“Since when has hanging out with your sister been important?” He walked past me, and I followed him out the door.

“What's the hurry?” I demanded.

He whipped around, his eyes harsh. “You can't just drop by, Leah. This is my place of business. It's where I'm respected, okay?”

My hands found my hips. Hips made quite a statement today. “And what does that have to do with me?”

He stepped closer to me. “I don't discuss my personal life with anyone here, okay?”

“So I'm a secret?”

“Look, I'll call you later this afternoon, all right? I don't know about tonight. I'm going to have to think about it.”

“What is there to think about? I'm asking you to come. After all, I spent last weekend at your stupid colleague party.”

His eyes lit at the word
stupid,
and I immediately regretted it.

“Edward, I'm sorry, it's just that—”

“I'm not going to do this now. I'll call you later.” He turned and walked off. A student nearby came alongside him, and I watched them talk until they rounded the corner.

I took the elevator down and walked out the front doors.
Great. What a way to spend an afternoon.
Why was Edward acting this way? Because of Scholar Girl? Was there something going on? I'd never, ever worried about Edward cheating on me. Truthfully, I wasn't sure he was someone girls would swoon after. He had dashing good looks, but his science-stricken personality seemed an undesirable second. Then again, I wasn't a scientist. Maybe his jokes were funny.

I'd fallen for Edward for many reasons. We had a lot in common, despite the fact that we were on opposite ends of the career spectrum. His intelligence was a huge draw for me in the beginning. I could've listened to him talk about supernovas for hours.

But who was I kidding now? Every conversation we had seemed to suck me into a black hole. I was bored to death. Right? Wasn't that what I was feeling? Boredom? Scholar Girl didn't look bored.

I angrily unzipped my bag and pulled out my keys. Not only would I have to spend the evening with my family and most likely without Edward, but I would have to explain where Edward was.

“Leah?”

I looked up. Oh, no. “Uh . . . hi, Cinco.”

I heard a thud. No, I was still standing. I looked down. I'd dropped my bag. I smiled and tried to pretend that was on purpose, but there was really nothing more that I could do except stoop to pick it up.

“Let me get that for you,” he said, and grabbed it before I could do anything. He handed it to me.

“Thanks. Well, good to see you.” I turned to go.

“Wait, what are you doing here? Are you a student?”

“Oh, um . . . no. Just came to . . .” My mind wasn't cooperating. My strength was imagination, but so far I couldn't come up with anything convincing. “Brother.”

“Brother?”

“To see him.”

“You came to see your brother.”

“Yes.” I glanced toward the tent I'd passed earlier. “I noticed you were doing your broadcast out here.”

“Yeah. We try to get around some, get out and meet people, show them I'm not nearly as scary as I sound.” He laughed.

I laughed too. No idea why. I really wanted to cry. No idea why. “Well, I should probably let you get back to it.”

“I've got a thirty-minute break while they do the news. Then we're back on.”

“Oh.”

“So, how are you liking the class?”

“It's fun,” I said. I was pretty sure that wasn't the least bit convincing, but I tried to smile anyway. He was scrutinizing the daylights out of me.

“Huh.”

I quickly added, “But I won't be able to come back.”

“Why?”

“Just . . . life, you know. Really busy. I'm finishing up a play that is in high demand, and . . . well, things like that.”

Cinco looked disappointed. “That's too bad. Since you were having so much fun, I mean.”

I looked at the watch on my arm, hoping I'd indeed put it on. Thankfully, it was there. “I have to go; I've got a dinner party tonight.”

“Now, that sounds fun.”

“Not really. Meeting my sister's new boyfriend that we'll surely disapprove of in some way.”

He smiled as if he'd met my sister. “I guess, then, it's good-bye.” He held out his hand for me to shake.

I looked at it for a moment, like I was a foreigner unsure what the gesture meant. But he continued to hold it out, so I slipped my hand into his. A warming sensation crawled through my arm and into my body, where a euphoric tickle made me giggle. He squeezed my hand, a few seconds longer than necessary, and our eyes engaged.

I felt like I should be arrested. I pulled my hand from his and backed away a few steps. “I should let you go. Good luck engaging combat with the city.”

“Thanks,” he said, and I could feel him watch me walk away. And there's nothing like being aware of how you walk to increase your chances of a stumble. You've walked nearly your whole life, but when you start paying attention to it, your legs feel wobbly and suddenly your hips don't seem to work in sync. Thankfully, I managed only to drag a toe against the concrete. I ducked into my car and tried to calm myself before facing the city traffic again.

As I pulled out, I willed myself not to look. But I did. Cinco was standing on the grass with two other men. He glanced up from their conversation and waved when he saw me.

I couldn't help myself. I waved back. And even smiled. What was wrong with me?

Then I heard a crunch.

Chapter 11

[She avoids the balcony.]

A
fter my third attempt to put on mascara by way of shaking hand, I decided to get by without it. I wasn't a big makeup wearer anyway, mostly because my mother would spend hours getting ready for one event, and it wasn't long before I realized that all of that took away from our time together, which wasn't much anyway. So I'd resented makeup my whole life, until a few years ago when I decided to try some lip gloss. Then I moved up to a little blush. And last year added mascara. But it was still nothing close to what my mother went through for an outing.

I dabbed on lip gloss, still amazed at how my heartbeat refused to step into a regular rhythm. And the only good thing about the afternoon's events was that they had erased the painful memory of the previous night.

The accident had only been a minor fender bender, but clearly my fault, said all the witnesses who came to the scene. Including Cinco.

He was nice enough to stand by me while everyone else stood by the little old lady, whose blue Mercedes I'd hit, instructing her on how to call her insurance company.

He asked if I was okay, helped me locate my insurance card in my glove box, and waited while I used my cell phone to call my insurance company. I kept wondering if Edward would look out and see the commotion, but if he did, he didn't come down to help.

When the little old lady finally drove off and the fifteen witnesses cleared, Cinco handed me his number on the paper. “Keep this. I saw what happened. It was minor, and she was not hurt in any way. But if her insurance company calls and claims otherwise, you have someone on your side.”

I took it and folded it. It kind of seemed to burn against my fingers.

On my bathroom counter now, the piece of paper was a complete distraction, so I took it and put it in the bathroom drawer while I tried to finish getting ready for the dinner party and come up with believable excuses as to why Edward had not accompanied me.

Deciding on an outfit took me a while. For some reason, I wanted to make a good impression on this Dillan. Maybe he really was my sister's knight in shining armor. And if he was even a fraction of who she claimed he was, he was sure to be interested in what kind of family she came from. Maybe he was expecting a family of bohemians.

I knew it would take forty-five minutes or more to drive to Dillan's apartment, so I decided on a basic black number with strappy sandals. I switched handbags and gathered my things, including Dillan's address, and opened my apartment door.

“AHH!” I jumped back, startled at the presence of another human being in front of me. When I backed up and focused, I was even more startled to see it was Edward. He was dressed in a nice silk shirt and khaki pants and holding a bottle of wine.

“Hi.” He tried to smooth his curly hair. “I'm glad I got here in time. You were just leaving.”

“Yeah . . .” I wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't believe he'd decided to come after the way we'd left things. “I'm sorry about popping in unannounced today. I didn't realize it would upset you like that.”

“You're forgiven,” he said, grinning. He looked at my outfit. “You look really nice.”

“Thanks.”

“Listen, before we head out, I need to use the bathroom.”

“No!” I said. Then I realized I had put Cinco's number away in the drawer. But I couldn't shake the fluster of what . . . and why . . . I'd just said what I'd said. “I'm sorry, of course you can. I was just trying to remember if I'd put a few . . . personal items away.”

Edward nodded like he didn't care and went past me. I tried to nod back like I didn't care, but I knew, to my horror, that I really, really did care.

We were five blocks from Dillan's apartment building when I mentioned the accident.

“I was distracted for half a second, and the next thing I know, I've hit this blue Mercedes.”