Dominic continued to take care of both Lucia and me every day without a single complaint. Lucia told me how he calmed her when she started to get worked up over her upcoming ballet recital. He practiced creating the bun on Lucia’s head over and over so he could get it right without hurting her. The patience he showed when teaching her how to cook, how to ride her bike, and practicing her ballet positions was heartwarming. He was the perfect man, if there ever was one, but I still couldn’t let my heart commit all the way. I was looking for flaws. No one could be perfect. I knew I was a lot to deal with, but he handled me just fine. And even though he did all of those great things for us, he was still a very particular man. Our home was now arranged to his liking, and he hated it when we moved something and he couldn’t find it. Placing his cooking utensils in the wrong drawer in the kitchen would be enough to cause a fight in about two seconds. I didn’t complain but it showed his controlling nature and I supposed that could be considered a flaw.
I arrived home one evening after work to find my two favorite people giggling on the living room floor. Upon opening the door, the first things I heard were Lucia’s squealing laughs and Dominic’s deep chuckles echoing through our home. He was sitting against the sofa with his knees up in a pair of gray sweats and a black T-shirt. Lucia was bent over in front of him with a bottle of nail polish in her hand, painting his toenails. They looked up at the sound of the door closing and saw me standing there with tears in my eyes and a grand smile on my face. Dominic’s ears pinked, as they always did when he’d been caught doing something cute. I dropped my purse on the bar and walked over to them to peek at Lucia’s masterpiece.
“Wow, Lucia. Nice work,” I exclaimed at the black toenails with pink polka dots—dots that had bled into blobs. I could tell she used the brush to create them. Looking into Dominic’s beautiful eyes, I mouthed, “Thank you.”
He dismissed it with a quick shrug. He had told me a million times to stop thanking him for doing things with Lucia that he wanted to do. “Welcome home,” Dominic said with his hands resting on his knees. He was relaxed and seemed to be having a good time.
“So, what’s the occasion?” I asked, pointing at his toes.
“Momma, I’m practicing how to paint nails nice and do designs like you get on your toes from the salon. Maybe I can do yours when I get good.” Lucia looked up at me with proud eyes. She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and placed it on the towel under Dominic’s feet.
He had wanted us to have a serious conversation with Lucia about our new boyfriend/girlfriend status, but I didn’t think we needed an official conversation. I figured she’d get the picture through our actions. We were holding hands, hugging, and playing around a bit more, but we hadn’t kissed in front of her yet. I was sure the moment we did, she would get the idea, but he thought it was important to speak with her about our developing relationship. Unsure of what to say, myself, I figured I would just follow Dominic’s lead.
I gave a subtle gesture to ask if he wanted to talk then and he nodded.
“Lucia, why don’t you put that stuff away, and then come back? We want to talk to you for a moment, okay?” I helped her pick up the bottles of polish while Dominic sat on the sofa so she could grab the towel and put everything away.
I looked at Dominic with questioning eyes, and he nodded. “You’re going to tell her, right?”
He nodded again, laughing at my nervousness.
I sat, waiting for Lucia to come back, bouncing my leg up and down in anxiety. She ran in happily, not sensing my stress in the least. Dominic sat next to me, leaning back with his fingers woven behind his head in complete comfort. Lucia planted herself between us and asked, “What is it?” Ever so blunt, just like her mother.
I cut my eyes to Dominic and arched my brow, waiting for him to begin his speech.
“Lucia, your mom and I want to talk to you about us,” he said waggling his finger between the three of us. “Your mom and I want to be a couple–” He stopped because of the look of confusion on Lucia’s face. Her face was contorted, eyebrows scrunched together, mouth closed in a crooked line, and her nose wrinkled up a bit. She was too cute.
“A what?” she asked.
“Boyfriend and girlfriend,” I answered this time.
“Pfft. I knew that already.”
It was our turn to look confused. “What? How?” I asked.
“Momma, get serious! You guys hug and hold hands a lot. Isn’t that was you do with a boyfriend?”
I was right; this conversation wasn’t needed. “So, are you okay with it? I mean, you’re not upset or anything?”
She scoffed. “No! I think it’s cool. It will make us a family quicker, and then Dominic can be my daddy.”
My eyebrows went sky high, and I thought I was going to faint. I looked at Dominic to finish the conversation because I was at a loss. She was too smart for her own good, and I had a feeling that we would soon be a unit in one way or another. It might not be through legal channels such as marriage or adoption, but at least the commitment would be there.
“Come here, baby.” Dominic opened his arms for her to climb onto his lap. “I don’t want you to worry your pretty little head about anything, okay?”
~*~*~
“Momma, come look.”
I made my way to Lucia’s room and found her dressed in her Tinkerbell costume, with her hair done just like that adorable Disney character. I was in awe of Dominic’s work. Her bangs were swept to the side of her forehead instead of slicked back as usual, and her bun was big on the top of her head. My hands went to my mouth to stifle the sob that wanted to escape. Every time Lucia was able to experience a daddy/daughter moment, I was overwhelmed and touched. Lucia had never before had what normal kids had with their fathers, and now that she did, I was so happy for her.
Moments like these reminded me of all I that I had missed growing up. Yes, I had a dad, but he hadn’t been there for those everyday things. He never made it to my dance recitals or school plays. He wasn’t able to take pictures with me for my first dance. I didn’t have memories of him taking care of me when I was sick or needed him around. He lived out of state and only acted a father when I visited him. I had no doubt, now that I was an adult, that he loved me and would have done anything for me, but it was the small, day-to-day things I’d missed.
I wanted more than anything in the world for my baby girl to have it all. Her father figure might have arrived a bit late, but better late than never. She deserved this and so much more. Dominic was going to be here for her, and he would show her what a father did and was. I chuckled, thinking about how she might not appreciate it so much when she began dating and he chased all her suitors away, but at least she could know she would have him there for her when she eventually came home with a broken heart.
“Are you okay?” I felt Dominic’s hands caressing my face, wiping away the tears that fell from my eyes.
Looking up at him, I answered, “I am. More than okay. You just don’t know how much this touches me,” I whispered, gesturing toward Lucia, who was checking herself out in the full-length mirror hanging on her closet door.
“I know, because it means a lot to me, too.” His lips touched mine, feather soft, while he held my face protected in the palms of his loving hands.
The moment ended much too soon when Lucia asked if it was time to go trick-or-treating.
“Well, look out the window and see if it’s dark yet.”
Lucia ran to the window and stood on her tiptoes to peek out. “It is, Momma. It’s dark. Let’s go!” She grabbed our hands and walked us to the door.
“Okay, hold on. Let me turn off the lights and get the keys.”
We walked all through the community to as many of the homes as we could. The small streets in our secured community were filled with tons of children running around, yelling, and examining their candy. The excitement that vibrated off the kids was contagious. Lucia was beautiful in her costume, and I hadn’t seen any other kids dressed like Tinkerbell, so it was a winning situation for her. Dominic insisted on walking her to every door, even though she already had three bags of candy. When I teased him about it and reminded him that part of the fun of the night was to watch the kids walk up to the door alone or in a group of other kids, he wouldn’t hear of it.
“Let me be. I haven’t done this since I was a kid and never as the parental figure. I want to enjoy it,” he chided while he wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my neck. Chills broke out through my body while he learned where all my sensitive spots were.
“Okay, okay. The night’s all yours. Go and enjoy while you can, because it’s possible next year she won’t even want to be seen with us,” I teased.
We walked hand-in-hand back to our home, each of us carrying a bag full of her candy. After we sorted it, I’d have to make some of it disappear, or else she would eat every single piece.
I looked at Dominic once we were seated around the bar to go through the candy.
“This was a lot of fun. I’m so glad we could do this together,” I said.
“Me, too. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.”
Chapter 18
Follow the Leader
Settled on the sofa after Lucia was bathed and tucked in, we got ready for our movie. We had begun to choose slow, boring films so we wouldn’t get sucked in. Instead, we’d sit, talk, and grope like teenagers.
“Dominic, babe. When you come with the popcorn, can you bring me a beer, please?”
I watched him work his way around the kitchen, popping popcorn, pulling out bowls, and getting our beers. He ended up choosing the big bowl and dumping all of the popcorn in there so we could share. It was always better that way because our hands met at the bottom of the bowl. When he walked toward me, something from inside told me it was time to tell him how I felt about him.
He placed the bowl on the table and pushed one of the bottles of beer toward me. I met his eyes and thanked him. His olive colored skin was covered by day-old scruff, but the darkness of his stubble contrasted with his bright, beautiful, green eyes, which shined like polished apples. The fullness of his lips made them look so delicious when he smiled that he always managed to take my breath away.
Dominic and I sat close together, and he put his arm around me. From the crook of his arm, I looked up at his breathtaking face. I didn’t feel close enough to him; I wanted to climb onto him — into him. Just . . . closer. He looked down at me, and I knew it was the right moment.
“Baby, I, uh . . .” My heart began beating triple time. The words were on the tip of my tongue but wouldn’t come out.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Concerned, Dominic wrapped his hand around mine and squeezed.
“I just want you to know how thankful I am for having you in my life. And I want you to know how much I love you.” My voice cracked. I sat there gazing into his eyes, waiting for a reaction. The nervousness bubbled inside me, and if he didn’t say something soon, I was either going to laugh or cry. I was betting on crying.
I wasn’t sure if I was sharing my feelings with Dominic too soon or not, but it made me feel like an emotional mess. I tended to feel everything so fiercely; it didn’t matter the emotion, I wore my feelings on my sleeve for all to see and I’d release each one in an outburst. And then, after the outburst, I would wonder if I had overreacted because I had never been able to judge for myself. I felt an overwhelming love for Dominic, and I needed him to know. He was always so giving of himself that I wanted to give him something of me in return.
His hands cradled my face, and he looked deep into my eyes. Never had I spoken words so sincere, and he saw that.
“I love you, too. So very much.” I felt the vibration of those loving words pitter-patter against my mouth. His eyes were closed tight when his lips touched mine once again. “Thank you,” he cried, his voice cracking.
His hands went to my shoulders, and he pulled me close to him, wrapping me in an embrace. I buried my face in his chest and slid my arms around his back. Dominic crashed his lips to mine and kissed me with all he had. His hands wrapped around my head, cradling my skull as if he was afraid I would back away. I would never have considered it, so I matched his passion and then doubled it. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, pulling him closer to me. No longer satisfied with the teenage groping we had been doing up to this point, I wanted us to consummate our relationship — to share and express our love in the ultimate way. I realized I didn’t want to wait until I was married to take that step.
“Baby,” I said against his lips, not willing to separate, “Let’s go to my room.”
He stopped and pulled back to look me in the eyes. “Are you sure?”
I smiled and pulled at the neck of his t-shirt with a crooked finger. “Yes. Let’s go,” I whispered.
~*~*~
I had never seen this man undressed before. Standing in my room, feeling shy all of a sudden, I watched while he removed his clothes and unveiled his beauty. In all honesty, I didn’t know what to expect. I had seen glimpses of him, small parts here and there, while we groped like kids on the sofa during our movie nights. When his shirt went over his head, I savored every toned muscle and found myself eager to touch every part of him. Anxiety ran through me while my eyes bounced over every bare piece of his skin. I felt the instant need to skim my fingers through the light scatter of hair on his chest that disappeared into his jeans. I wanted to taste the salt on his skin when I licked the “v” at his hips.
The confidence I had in the living room faded when we faced each other. I wanted to close the distance, to touch him, but my nerves set in. My mind was running with different, crazy thoughts. What if he didn’t like my body? I had a baby, after all. What if he didn’t find me experienced enough? What if I couldn’t please him? I steeled myself and began to undress alongside him. My body shook with nerves and anticipation, and I couldn’t wait to feel him. My body begged for fast and rough, but my heart yearned for soft and sensual.
“Whoa, not so fast, baby. I want to do that,” he said in a playful tone that relaxed me and made me giggle.