My Soldier: A Miliatary Romance (15 page)

Flare? Really? What man ever refers to a woman and her
'flare?'

He wasn't a loss I really cared about, I didn't even bat an eye. I ended up diving into work, picking up extra shifts, doing little tasks that other staff didn't want to spend their free time doing.

For me, it helped my mind focus. But lately my focus had been compromised by Levi. And after spending the past few days with him, he had fully inserted himself into my thoughts. I couldn't for the life of me shake him out.

“Here we are,” I huffed out, drawing in a cool breath of evening air. It had started to cool down outside, true May taking form. Loosening my grip from his, I rubbed my shoulders as we waited in line to get into the bar.

Stepping behind me, Levi wrapped his enormous brick arms over mine. The warmth of his body encasing me like a human jacket made me tremble.

The shiver broke across my skin, the tiny mountains climbing my flesh as they erupted to life.

“Levi? Levi Hite?” A deep baritone voice hit my ears. “Holy shit! It is you, fuck man.” Levi turned towards the man, eyeing him with uncertainty. “It's me, Brian Dionne. We were in training together.”

“Oh wow, how's it going? It's been a long time.” The two men slammed their fists together, leaning in and squishing my small body between them. Brian was nearly as large as Levi.

Shit, what does the army have in their water? They grow their soldiers like medical muscled giants.

I thought the same thing after Kevin came home from basics. He seemed to grow three sizes in width. But he was solid, a wall of concrete with legs.

Brian reminded me of Kevin a little. And the hair, the hair was almost identical. Brian's hair was cut short, faded almost to the skin on the sides. His eyebrows were large and thick, crawling across his forehead like furry caterpillars.

He was dressed in fatigues, calf-high boots laced up tight. His olive green shirt was tucked snugly into his pants.

If I didn't know any better I would have thought he just dropped in here from a helicopter.

“I've been good, had a little girl not long ago, married, you know...” Holding up his ring finger, Brian rolled his eyes. “Doing the whole family thing.” His eyes suddenly focused on me, finally taking in my presence. “And who is this fine piece of ass?” His tongue slid over his lip, and I instantly cringed.

My shoulders slouched, leaning back into Levi, I pressed my palm into his chest. I didn't like the way Brian was eye fucking me while I stood there.

It was disgusting and he wasn't subtle about it at all. Bringing himself around front, he inched closer to me.

His eyes were pale, emotionless. And it was almost like I could see the images he was letting his brain mull over. His nostril flared on one side, breathing getting heavier as he let his gaze shift around my body.

Instinctively I wrapped my arms over my chest to block his view of my breasts. “You know my eyes are up here, Pervert.”

“Bitch, don't—” His voice turned to a harsh gurgle, sounding like he had a mouth full of water.

Throwing my head up, Levi had wrapped his hand around Brian's neck. He was lifting him up, raising him to eye level.

Brian stared at Levi, eyes bulging from the sockets as he tried to force air in to breathe.

“Do not talk to her like that.” I watched Levi's knuckles whiten against his throat, nails disappearing into the skin. Brian was trying to talk, trying to breathe, trying to shake his head as he clawed at Levi's hand. “This is my woman, and you are not going to talk to her like that.”

Brian's words crept out, a mix of saliva and weak oxygen. “I'm sorry, Levi. Sorry.” His fingers were wildly tugging at Levi's wrist as he attempted to keep his balance on the tips of his toes.

Levi's lips turned razor thin, teeth peeking out of his snarl. “You're going to be sorry. You just said you had a baby girl...” Breathing in through his nose, his chest puffed out. “Would you want some sick fuck talking to your daughter that way?”

Brian shook his head 'no,' face turning a blended shade of red and blue. He was struggling to breathe, his eyes glossing over from the slow suffocation.

And inside I was smiling. To watch Levi throw his muscle around, the raw animal that took over when that asshole called me a bitch.

It sent quivers down my thighs, the intense rush hitting my toes and driving back up like a rollercoaster riding the rails.

Watching him protect me, his possessive nature to save me. He didn't even have time to think, he just acted. He was holding the muscle of Brian's neck before he had time to finish his sentence.

My ribs were vibrating, heart beating so fast sweat was beading up on my shoulders. I felt the cool droplets roll down my skin, chilling my spine as they broke free.

Teasing my fingers into the crease of Levi's pants, he held me firmly in place. I was safe in his arms, untouchable to the world around me.

And I loved it.

Lowering Brian back down, Levi loosened his grasp. “Get the fuck out of here. Go home and tell your little girl you love her, and if I find out you so much as think about talking to another woman that way, so help me I will find you and make you wish you never crossed my path. Understand?”

Brian was leaned over, panting and holding his chest. His eyes were locked on Levi, shaking his head 'yes.' He had the look of fear painted on his face as he caught his breath. With one final wave, he mouthed 'Sorry,' and took off on foot.

Let me tell you, I had never seen a grown man look so afraid in my whole damn life. The mark of terror was a spark in his eyes. He didn't even glance back at us as he ran off, he was just gone like the wind.

Holding my shoulders, Levi bent down close to my face. “No one will ever treat my girl with any disrespect. I won't have it. You deserve the pedestal I'm putting you on.”

Coiling my arms around his waist, I hugged him tight. “I don't need a pedestal, but I do need your help. I didn't want to admit it before, but I can't handle Vito alone. I need you, I need you to make me feel safe.”

“V, you will never be hurt again. I promise you that. I'm a soldier, I'm
your soldier.
And I will never let anything bad happen to you.” Cupping my chin in his large palms, he flicked his eyes between mine. “But I need something from you.”

Fuck, of course he does. Nothing comes free.

“What? I don't have anything, you know that. I gave everything I had to Vito already.”

“I don't want money.”

“Then what? What else is there?”

His massive thumb traced my jaw, following the line up to my ear. “You're going to let me in, you can't close yourself off to me. I won't let you, you're mine.”

My eyes fell to the ground, wildly searching the pavement for the answer I already knew. The one I had been convincing myself of since I met him. “Levi,” flipping my neck up, I looked deep into his eyes. “I can't do that.”

“Yes, you can. And you will.”

“No, I can't. I can't give you what you want, I'm sorry.” Pinching his elbows gently, I ran my fingers across his arms. The strength that I desperately needed, the safety I longed for, it was all there. And I couldn't touch it.

“You don't realize it yet, but I'm not asking. You're going to.”

Throwing my arms up, I jerked my body in the other direction, stepping back. “Stop, I can't do that. I won't do that. You know I can't, Levi. So just leave it alone. I understand what you were trying to show me earlier, but we're not the same. I can't give myself to you, there's a piece of me that no one can touch. Not even you.”

I had gone from happy and needing him, to angry and wanting him gone. He didn't have the right to demand something I couldn't give.

No matter how much I wanted him in my world, my heart wasn't whole. He couldn't have what was left.

“Avni, right now you're still raw. But you won't me let go, I know you won't. And I'm not letting you go anywhere, I've claimed you. You're my woman, the more you pull, the more I'll push.”

My insides had begun to tremble, I didn't like him trying to tell me what I would do. I was the one in control of what I felt... Or what I chose to give.

Not Levi, only me. He had no right to try and change that, and I wasn't letting go of Kevin. But I wasn't letting anyone else in, I had shut that down long ago.

Holding my hand up, I snapped at him. “You can't do this, try all you want. But I'm done, there's nothing here for you. I need your help with Vito, but that's it. This...” Flicking a finger between us, I said, “This is simply a fling, a no feelings attached romp in the sack. That's all it was, Levi. No strings attached, I'm not looking for a love.”

“You don't look for it, it happens on its own. That's naive, Avni. You can't control everything, it doesn't matter how much you want to, you can't.”

“Fuck you, watch me.” I spat, whipping around on my heels and storming off.

Who does he think he is!? I can control one thing, and that's me.
Levi didn't know me enough to tell me I couldn't. He'd been through a lot, and I felt for him and what he'd seen and gone through.

I knew I wouldn't try and tell him how to feel about the shit he'd been through, so who the fuck was he to tell me?

He's a hard-bodied soldier, he's nailed himself into my fucking head and I can't get him out. I didn't ask for this! I didn't want this!

Levi had decided to crash into my world, I didn't go looking for him. But I wasn't going to fall for him, he wasn't getting what he wanted.

That wasn't for him to decide, he didn't have the right to try and tell me what my heart wanted.

The clicking of heels against the sidewalk echoed in my skull, the high pumps surging pain through my heels.

Slipping them off my feet, I tucked them under my arm and headed home. I knew I should have listened to my gut to begin with.

I had tried to talk myself out of going with him to dinner.
I should have left him in the street that night. No, no, Avni. That would've been wrong, you couldn't do that.

But I did wish I was stronger, I wished my lust to feel him against the inside of my pussy hadn't been so tempting.

I had weakened to that desire, to the image of who Levi was.

A solid-muscled savior, who protected me from danger.

That was what made me falter to his hands, causing the rush of pure sexual need.

Had I been stronger, I could have resisted him. I should have listened to myself, and I didn't.

I'm done.

No more Levi.

Avni

S
ix days, it had been six days since I talked to Levi. He showed up at my place the night I stormed off, but I didn't answer. He stood outside for over an hour till finally giving up and heading home.

Well, that's where I figured he had went, I could be wrong. Maybe he went out and got wasted on piss flavored beer, or the singeing flame of whiskey.

I don't know, and I don't care. He can do whatever his thick headed brain decided.
I didn't own him, just like he didn't own me.

Luckily, I had three twelve hour shifts at the group home to keep my mind off him, and my thoughts elsewhere. I had the split second thought that maybe he tried to come by. But I wasn't there if he did, and I was glad.

I was surprised he didn't send me one text message, not one.

And I checked.

Over and over I kept clicking the screen throughout the day to see if he had. Catching my own disappointment over the empty message box, I shook my head.

Why do I care? This is what I wanted. Why am I tormenting myself?

I wanted a life free of any distractions, free of any possibility to be hurt. That's what I had, he was gone.

And yet my stomach churned with an uneasy feeling. My lungs felt heavy, chest aching from the inside out.

Am I missing him?

No. That wasn't possible.

I had only known him for a short time, there was no way I could really be missing him. It was a stupid idea that found its way into my inner voice. You can't miss what you barely know.

Could you?

No.

“Avni, you alright?” Rebecca, another staff in the home asked. Her curly brown hair was pulled up in a bun, a hint of green eye shadow tinted her lids.

She had become the only other person in my small world that wasn't family, the only other person I made a small space for in my life.

Shoving my phone into my back pocket, I grabbed the chalk board off the counter to write down the residents dinner menu for the week.

“Yeah,” I said within my breath, plopping down at the table with folded shoulders. “I'm good, it's nothing.”

Her brow twisted up, jaw crooking to the side. “So why don't I believe you?” Grabbing a seat, she sat down folding her hands on the table. “Talk.”

Rebecca was good at reading people. That was one reason she worked so well in the group home. She could tell when someone was getting agitated, or upset before they exploded. And she could read me just as well.

“It's nothing, I'm over thinking it really, just like I always do.” Twisting the chalk in my hands, I stared off into the blank canvas.

“Would you just spill it already, don't dance around it. Spit it out, girl.” Propping her head on a balled fist, she peered at me. “I'm listening, spill it.”

Taking in a deep breath, my eyes rolled up to the ceiling. “Alright, I met this guy last week, he sorta flew in like Superman and helped me out of a tight spot,” I said, chewing my lip.

Rebecca didn't know about Vito, that was something that until Levi, only I knew. Absolutely no one else.

If she did know, she would yell at me to go to the police, have him arrested, and blah, blah, blah.

But there was no way in hell I was doing that. That would air all of Kevin's dirty laundry to my parents, and God knows how they'd react.

I didn't want them to ever be disappointed in their son. He was their hero, their bold and shining son who gave his life for others.

My hope from the beginning was to pay Vito, clear Kevin's debt, and then Vito would disappear. He'd have to, there would be no other reason for him to stick around harassing me.