My Soldier: A Miliatary Romance (20 page)

Avni let out an angered moan, rolling to her back and covering her face with her hands. “Fucking construction,” she grumbled, balling her fists and wiping her eyes.

“Construction?” Tossing the blanket off, I walked to the window and pulled back the blind.

“Yeah, they've been working a few buildings down for a while now.” Pulling herself onto her elbows, she sleepily opened her eyes. “It's like Chinese water torture. Every morning at seven, like damn clockwork.”

“Well, that's annoying.”

“You're telling me.” Flopping back down, Avni dragged the blanket up over her head. “I've been cursing them every morning for months. But it never works, they haven't stopped yet.”

Walking back to the bed, I jumped in and wrapped her up tight inside my arms. “Well, since we're up...” I teased, gripping the morning wood that was pressing angrily against my boxers.

Avni giggled, turning to face me. Her glowing eyes flickered with excitement and happiness.

“You might be up,” she said, glancing down at my cock. “But I'm still half asleep and could use another four hours after last night. You're an animal.”

“I can't help it, you drive me insane.” Tracing a finger down the center of her face, I wrapped my hand under her neck and kissed her.

“Is this my wake up call?” she asked, stretching her arms high above her head. Rolling to her side, the blanket skirted up.

Her silky panties slid into her ass, the bare cheeks enticing me to lean in and bite each one.

“No, this is.” Pulling my hand back, I let it fly down to smack her ass.

Whipping her head over her shoulder, she twisted awkwardly to try and cover her bare behind.

“Hey!” Giggling, Avni did everything she could to block my hands.

I loved seeing her smile, loved hearing her laugh. It was pure joy to see genuine happiness in her, even if it didn't last.

“What?” My fingers moved and danced across her belly, causing her entire body to jerk around like a fish out of water.

“Stop! Stop!” The chuckle turned into her trying to return the torture of a tickle to my sides. “It's not fair, you're so much stronger than me.”

Pinning her arms over her head, I took small bites on her neck. Each nibble sent prickles cascading over her body.

Avni's head tilted, crying in laughter. Her body squirmed beneath me, my hands holding her in place. “You're trapped, what are you going to do?”

Letting out a long breath, she said, “Nothing, but you better not let me go.”

“And why's that?”

“Because if you do, you're going down. Trust me, Levi, it's better if you never let me go.”

“That's what I was planning on doing anyway. I never planned on letting you go, Avni.” Resting my elbows onto the mattress, I whispered in her ear. “And I'm not just talking about now. I'm never letting you go ever.”

I felt the shudder in her limbs. Her breathing pausing briefly, eyes falling deep into mine.

What's she looking for? I'm serious. I won't let her go.

“How am I supposed to believe that. Those are just words.” Her eyes darted between mine, brows crinkled together.

“Words that are going to be true. You don't have to believe the words, but you'll believe it when I show you.” Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, my fingertips ran down over her collarbone.

Her face sat motionless, but her heart beat faster. The small vein in her neck pulsed harder, her lungs were lifting fast as she took deep breaths.

“I want to believe you, I do. But I don't live my life based off false promises. I can't, the let down hurts too much.” A flicker of sadness glazed her eyes, her mind running to darker thoughts.

“Don't worry, I'm going to prove it to you. And I'm a man who stands by his promise.”

Tugging her wrists free, Avni rolled out from under me. “Levi, I really don't like being promised things that in all reality can't be controlled. You say you're not going anywhere, right?” Wrapping her arms tight around her waist, she dug her hands into the creases of her elbows.

“Yes, and I mean it.” Resting on my forearm, I turned to face her.

“Well, what happens if you need to go back to war? What happens if you promise me you're coming home and you don't? Tell me what happens then?”

“Avni—”

“No! Levi, you can't promise something like that. It's not in your control, you could die out there!” Throwing her hand into her hair, she yanked her bangs back tight. “You can't promise me any of that! And I don't want you to, it's not fair to me! It's not fair to you!”

“You're wrong, Avni.” Jolting out of the bed, the anger at her refusal to let herself be happy for once was killing me inside. “You can't spend your life afraid of getting close to me because I'm a soldier! Talk about fair, that's not fair to me or you!”

“You know what, Levi...” Her head fell to the floor, lip curling up. “I think you should go, I'm sorry but I can't do this. I like you, I do. But I can't have you here promising me a world you have no hand to give.”

“I promised to help you, and I'm not going till I know you're safe. I can't.”

“I don't need your help, I can handle Vito on my own. I did just fine for the past year without you, I can do it now too.” Avni held her hand up, pointing at the door. “Go.”

“No! You can't just throw me out when shit gets tough for you to deal with. I know you feel the same way about me that I do about you. And it's more than just like, I've fallen for you, Avni. I can't walk away from you that easy.” Stepping towards her, I gripped her wrists, trying to pull her into me.

But Avni pulled away, driving her arms behind her back. “Levi, go.”

Why is she so scared? Can't she see what's between us?

Dropping a hand to my waist, I dragged my fingers over my jaw. “Why won't you just let yourself see what's between us? This isn't lust, Avni, it runs deeper. The sooner you stop being afraid, the sooner you'll see it. Unless you already have and want to run from that too.” Yanking my jeans up, I pulled my shirt over my head. “I'm not going anywhere, Avni. I was serious when I said that, and I am going to help you.”

“Levi, I have to be at work in two hours, please, just go.” Twisting her body to the window, she tore the blind open, staring out into the street.

This girl was more stubborn than a fucking bull. She's trying so hard to convince herself of what she thinks she shouldn't feel, and what she should fear.

But life doesn't work that way.

“Fine, I'll go. But I'm coming back later. I'm not letting you be alone, I won't let Vito fuck with you anymore.”

Her toes spun into the floor, mouth biting on her thumbnail.
That must be her nervous twitch. It's cute.

I didn't want to be angry at her, and I wasn't. But frustration was riding my spine like a row of steel spike strips.

It was going to take a lot of convincing to get her to realize I was telling her the truth. I knew she had been through a lot after losing her brother, and I understood her fear of me going to war and dying.

But you can't live life in fear of something you can't control. And I wasn't about to apologize for choosing the Army, it ran through my veins like lava in a volcano. The raw need to protect and serve was my life blood.

Turning to walk out, Avni said, “I work till eight.”

I didn't answer, I kept going. A smile spread on my face, the heat hitting my cheeks with each word that fell from her lips.

She feels it.

It can't be blanketed forever, at some point that veil will lift.

For now, just a corner would do.

Avni

I
t'd been a month and half since I started seeing Levi.

One glorious month and a half.  He did these little things that showed me how much he paid attention to me, to what I said.

Every morning I would wake up to blue flowers laid on my nightstand, and when I would come home from work, Levi would have blue flowers in a vase or resting on my pillow.

Some nights he'd bring sushi with him when he came over, and we'd snuggle on the couch to watch a movie.

Other nights he'd have my favorite music on low, and we would dance. Not that he was good at it, but he was learning.

It was all those little things that were spooling around my heart, filling the empty hole I've carried for so long.

Each day my protective sheath had started to fall, he was peeling it away with who he was, what he stood for.

And he put up with my over-dramatic tendencies. He would whisper sweet words into my ear, calm my nerves, soothing me back to earth.

It was hard for me to deny, I had fallen for a soldier.

I've been trying so hard to open up, to let myself feel all the emotions I knew were glazing my core. But it was hard, it's been a slow and painful process.

Letting go, meant letting go of Kevin. I knew I wasn't literally letting go of him, he would always be in my thoughts, memories, and my heart. Always remembered, never forgotten.

Trying to let go of the pain his death caused was what had been so difficult. It was still there, still a live fuse sitting in my stomach. The knot would twist, the pain would surge. But each day that passed, the knot grew a little looser.

And I knew it would never truly go away, all I could hope for was the day when that knot turned into just the rope it was made of.

Levi was a soldier, he led the same dangerous life my brother had. That always came with a heavy price tag, death. I knew not everyone's end would be on the battle field, so many soldiers had made it home to their families.

But for me, it was hard to think that way.

I lost my brother, the other half of me. That was a hard pill to swallow, and not hold onto some reserve when I was falling for another man; whose foreseeable future could end the same way.

I was trying though, the best I could. Having Levi around had been great. A sense of security and safety, I hadn't had in a long time, blanketed my body.

And Vito, his one month date came and went. He didn't come looking for me, hadn't shown his face since Levi had been here.

A part of me was hoping that he had gotten locked up. There was a chance that a man like him, with his line of work, reached the end of his days.

I was sure there had to be plenty of other people out there looking for him, or that the cops were on his ass.

He was a pimp, he forced women to work for him. And I'm sure not all of them, if any, worked for him willingly.

His reign of terror could only last for so long before it all caught up with him one way or another. Either by the hands of the law, or the hands of another; maybe he was gone for good.

Pulling up to my apartment, I spotted a light on in my living room.

Huh? Did I leave it on this morning? I must have.

I'd been running late for work, so I had probably just left the light on by mistake when I flew out the door.

Maybe Levi's home?

He wasn't supposed to be coming over tonight. I had worked till almost eleven, and since Vito hadn't been around, we were able to relax a little. There was a sense of security that hung over our heads.

But I was wrong in so many ways. That false sense of security would drive a spike into my coffin.

Flipping through my keys, I straightened out the one for my place and plugged it into the keyhole. Opening the door, T wasn't sitting in the entrance waiting for me like he always did.

Fuck, I bet he had an accident.

If T used my floor as a bathroom because he couldn't hold it, or did something like going into the trash while I was away, he always hid.

I was sure he was hiding under the bed, or under the couch. Glancing around the entryway, I didn't see a puddle, or any garbage. There wasn't one mess waiting for me at the door.

Confused, I called out to my dog. “T?” Clicking my tongue, I threw my bag on the table and closed the door. “T!? Come on, come here.”

Still nothing, there was no sound of his feet, or a soft whimper of uncertain excitement.

Stepping into the living room, I anxiously looked around.
Where is he? He has to be here somewhere.

“Hello, Avni.”

My heart stopped, veins turning to solid ice. “What are you doing here?”

The hardened eyes glared at me from the kitchen, cupping my small dog in his arms. And my stomach whirled with a burning sensation that hit my lungs and turned the air rancid.

“You know why I'm here.” The slick voice coated my ears in disgust, digging like sharp spikes into my brain.

“Give me time, I need more time.” The words squeaked out of my mouth, unsure of what he thought he could get from me.

He wants his money, what the fuck do you think he wants!

“Time is something you ran out of, the games are done.” His long fingers stroked my dog's head, trailing down to his back. He was petting T like an evil vampire pets his next kill.

“What do you want, Vito?” My eyes drifted between my small, shaking companion resting in the arms of the Devil, and the Devil himself.

My heart was beating at a rapid pace, afraid that he might do something to hurt my dog. I stood frozen, anticipation raking up my back, waiting.

Waiting for his hands to walk up to T's neck, to grip his tiny throat in his palm. Then the inevitable, him dropping the lifeless body of my best friend.

“That's a stupid question.” Holding T, he stepped out into the living room. “You know why I'm here, and what I want. Sorry I'm late.” His eyes looked down on my dog, petting him with a soft and careless touch. “But I have this horrible feeling you just don't take me seriously. I think I've been way too easy on you. Maybe it was more pity than easy.” His black eyes caught my stare, following my line of sight to his arms. A wicked smile spreading instantaneously.

He knows what I'm thinking. He knows he's holding a weakness of mine.

I wasn't going to let him think I was afraid, it would only feed his ego.

“Pity? You think you've pitied me?” Standing tall, I was sick of being taken advantage of by this pathetic monster. “You've taken all my money, you're demanding more, and none of this is because of me. It's all because of my brother, my dead brother I remind you.”