My Sort of Fairy Tale Ending (2 page)

“Look,” I said to the leprechauns, “can't we all just get along? Let's sit down and talk about this.” Wow, it was rare that two cheesy sayings popped out of my mouth at once. I guess that meant I was feeling pretty desperate.

The head guard let go of one of the other leprechaun's elbows and stepped forward. Clearly, he'd hitched a magical ride in order to follow us.

“I'm afraid not,” he said, still sucking on a shamrock stem. “If you refuse to leave this land, then you must gold with us.”

A guard grabbed my backpack while another took away the pouch of medicines Anthony always wore around his waist.

“Hey! Give those back!” I said, but no one was listening to me.

“Fabulous,” Anthony muttered as the leprechauns pulled his arms behind his back. “The doctor made a run for it, and now we're stuck here.”

“He didn't make a run for it,” I whispered. “He was trying to distract the guards so we could get away and look for my parents.” Too bad that plan had completely failed. I glanced around, wondering if Dr. Bradley was hiding somewhere nearby, but there was no sign of him.

“Now, for the last time,” said the head guard, coming to stand right in front of me. “Who are you, and what do you want?”

I sighed. “I'm Jenny the Adventurer, and I'm just here looking for my—”

“An adventurer?” the leprechaun said, stepping back in surprise. “Are you really an adventurer?”

“Um…” Technically I guess I wasn't, not anymore. Not since the Committee had refused to do anything about finding my parents, giving me no choice but to defy orders and go to Fairy Land to find them on my own. But the fact that the guards were suddenly looking at me differently made me decide not to 'fess up about having gone rogue.

“Yes, I am
an
adventurer
. And last I checked, the Committee wasn't a big fan of its employees being attacked. So how about taking it easy with those weapons?”

The leprechauns glanced at each other. Then the head guard gave a signal, and they all lowered their spears and took a step back.

“My apologies,” he said with a small bow. “I am Karfum, head of the Leprechaun Guard. Please, forgive our rudeness. Of course, we will bring you to the palace.” He pointed to a village in the distance that I hadn't noticed before (probably because I'd been too busy running for my life). It was covered in a cloud of glittering haze.

Anthony and I glanced at each other. What was going on? Why did knowing I was an adventurer change the leprechauns' minds about us?

Karfum signaled to the other leprechauns, who turned and fell into a single line. “Please, after you,” he said, waving us forward.

“Wait,” I said. “Before we gold—um, I mean,
go
—anywhere, how about taking these cuffs off us? And giving us our stuff back?”

Karfum gave a regretful shake of his head. “The Queen Fairy insists that all residents, even honored guests such as yourselves, wear the cuffs for security reasons. Your belongings will be returned to you when you leave this land.”

I gawked at the guard. The leprechauns had been ready to Swiss-cheese us with their spears a minute ago, and now we were honored guests? Fairy Land was getting weirder by the second, and we hadn't even seen a fairy yet.

“What do you think?” I asked Anthony in a low voice. “Should we go with him?”

Anthony shrugged. “Until we figure out how to get these cuffs off, I guess we don't have a choice.”

He was right. This wasn't how I'd wanted to go about rescuing my parents, but I was willing to do whatever it took to get them back. I would
not
go home empty-handed again.

“Fine,” I said to the guard. “Lead the way.”

As we followed the leprechauns, my fingers instinctively went to the string of purple gems around my neck that had once been my mother's. I'd only just managed to get the necklace back from an evil witch a few days earlier—along with the tip about my parents' whereabouts—but already it felt like it had always sat around my neck.

If
my
mom
and
dad
aren't here
, a small voice in the back of my brain whispered,
what
will
I
do
then?

Quiet
, I told the voice.
My
parents
have
to
be
in
Fairy
Land. Because if they're not…

I pictured going back home without them. Living in Aunt Evie's animal-filled house for the rest of my life, always wondering what had happened to my mom and dad. Always hoping they'd magically appear someday. Always feeling like a big part of my life was missing. I couldn't imagine a more depressing future.

As I glanced toward the heart of Fairy Land, I promised myself that I wouldn't let that future happen. My parents had to be here. And I would do anything—anything at all—to get them back.

I mean, come on. I'd helped dozens of creatures get their happy endings. Hadn't I earned my own happily-ever-after?

•••

As we got closer to the village, the overgrown fields became freshly paved roads and neat rows of identical, red-roofed huts. The haze that I'd seen from a distance was now all around us. It gave everything the type of weird glow that people have in wrinkle-cream commercials.

“I don't get it. I thought this place was a futuristic theme park,” I said to Anthony.

The gnome shrugged. “I guess things have changed now that the King Fairy isn't in power. I hope they at least have cotton candy.”

It figured that even when we'd been taken prisoner, all Anthony could think about was food.

Just then, we heard rumbling coming toward us. As the guards waved us off the road, a carriage rounded the corner. It was shaped like a pumpkin and pulled by a team of white horses. The whole thing was straight out of
Cinderella
. A second later, another identical carriage passed by. And then a third. All of them were empty.

“What are those all about?” I said.

“They're taxis,” said Karfum. He pointed ahead. “We are nearly at the palace now.”

Through the glittery haze, I could just make out a building that looked a lot like Cinderella's castle. In fact, everything about this place screamed Disney. It was starting to creep me out.

Suddenly, a loud
Bing!
echoed around us. The leprechauns froze and tipped their heads upward.

“
Just
a
reminder
,” a cheerful voice rang out from somewhere above us. “
The
weekly
parade
is
only
a
few
days
away! Attendance is mandatory. Remember that all work and no play makes for a dull fairy!
”

I groaned. That was even cheesier than the sayings I was always spouting during adventures.

“A parade!” said Anthony, his eyes gleaming with excitement. “Do you think we can go? I bet they'll be selling candied applies and fried dough and—”

“Sorry, we won't be here by then,” I said, hoping that was true.

“Come along,” said Karfum as the guards started moving again. Now that they knew I was an adventurer, they seemed to want to get me to the palace as fast as possible. Either they were afraid I'd try to run off again, or they didn't want me to spoil before the fairies got a chance to gobble me up.

We passed by a sign over the entrance to a narrow alleyway that said: “Welcome to the Magical Village.” Behind it were clusters of cute little shops that looked like they should be bursting with elves making shoes.

Anthony gasped beside me.

I turned to see a huge, purple ogre blocking our way. He didn't look like he had any intention of letting us pass.

Anthony jumped behind me, using me as a shield. Ever since an ogre had tried to chew off his toes a few months ago, my guide had been a little nervous around all ogre types.

This one was different from other ogres I'd seen, not just because of his rough purple skin, but also because of the single eye and horn on his head, and the pointed wings on his back.

Wait. One-eyed, one-horned, flying, and purple? No way. I was looking at a purple people eater! Too bad my best friends Trish and Melissa were still in the Land of Tales. They would be so jealous when I told them about this—Trish because she loved meeting unusual creatures and Melissa because she loved singing the purple people eater song.

“What are you doing outside, Pryll?” Karfum called. “It's the middle of the workday.”

“I came to deliver a warning,” the creature said, lumbering toward us. “Tell the fairies this is their last chance.”

Karfum's lips became a thin line, and I was afraid he'd accidentally swallow his shamrock. “Pryll, you're putting everyone, including my son, in danger. It's best if you—”

“No!” said the creature, stomping his purple foot. “We have waited long enough. Will you deliver the message or not?”

Karfum sighed and nodded. “I will.”

“What message?” I interrupted, stepping forward. The monster glared at me with his one eye. “Um, Mr. People Eater, sir?” I added.

“You're new arrivals, eh?” said Pryll with a shake of his head that sent his single eye spinning like a police siren. “She won't let you leave, you know. We thought once the park was closed, she'd let all of us workers go back to our worlds. But we'll make her pay. Just you watch.” He kept grumbling to himself as he shuffled away, his wings bouncing, and disappeared down one of the narrow streets.

“What was that all about?” I said as Anthony emerged from cowering behind a couple of guards.

“I am not at liberty to say,” Karfum answered. He looked suddenly nervous as he popped a handful of shamrocks into his mouth and started chewing on them. When he saw me staring, he mumbled: “Shamrocks are great for everything, even stress.”

Normally, I would have laughed at the idea of shamrocks being a wonder drug, but I was too busy replaying what Pryll had said about no one ever leaving this place. Anthony must have been thinking the same thing because he leaned over and whispered: “No wonder so many adventurers have disappeared here.”

“Wait,
what
?” I cried before managing to lower my voice. “I thought my parents were the only adventurers who were missing. Are you saying others have vanished too?”

Anthony nodded. “At first the Committee thought they'd just gotten sick of their jobs, but now it looks like they were brought to Fairy Land. Just like your parents were.”

“And when were you planning on telling me about this?” If other adventurers had disappeared, that could be a big clue about what the fairies were doing to my parents.

“I just did, didn't I?”

Anthony must have seen the steam coming out of my ears because he quickly changed the subject by turning to Karfum and saying, “So, I had no idea leprechauns worked for the fairies. I thought you all pretty much kept to yourselves.”

A few of the guards around us stiffened.

“We leprechauns cannot gold back to our land,” said Karfum. He'd swallowed his mouthful of shamrocks and was back to sucking on just one stem again.

“What do you mean?” I said. “All of you? The entire leprechaun population?”

“Yes,” a female guard said. I could tell she was a woman because her face was a little softer and her beard a little thinner than that of the other leprechauns. Not surprisingly, she was wearing shamrocks as earrings. “We must remain here until we have our pots of gold back.”

It took me a second to realize she actually meant “gold” this time. “Why, what happened to them?” I asked.

No one answered. Either they didn't know or they didn't want to talk about it. I imagined an abandoned leprechaun world, just sitting there like a giant frowny face. How depressing.

When we got to the entrance of the palace, the tallest of the guards stepped forward. “Tickets, please!” he called. The others immediately took out green slips of paper and handed them over before filing into the palace.

“Tickets?” the tall leprechaun said when Anthony and I got to the front of the line. “You need tickets to gold on from this point.”

Anthony pulled a couple of candy wrappers from his pocket and tried to hand them over, but the leprechaun just sniffed and shook his head.

“Why would we have tickets?” I said. “You guys captured us, remember?”

Karfum stepped in. “I believe we can make an exception.”

The tall leprechaun sighed and thrust two slips of paper into our hands. “Tickets?” he said cheerfully. He took the pieces of paper right back and handed them over to one of the other guards, who stuck them in his pocket.

Fairy Land was obviously having a hard time shaking its theme-park roots.

We went through the enormous palace doors and into a hallway with cathedral ceilings and gilded walls. Your typical fairy-tale castle. Then we rounded a corner and found ourselves in front of an elevator.

“An elevator?” I said. “Doesn't that seem a little out of place?”

Karfum shrugged. “It's one of the few features the Queen Fairy allowed to remain from when this land was a theme park.”

“Why do you need elevators?” said Anthony. “Can't you just pop yourselves wherever you want to go?” He was still puffing from our long walk to the palace. I'm sure he would have preferred to be magically transported here rather than having to trudge all that way.

“No,” the lady leprechaun said as she held up her red cuff. “We are required to conserve our magic whenever possible.”

As we got into the elevator, I could actually feel the magic all around us, like nonstop static electricity. I thought of the people in the Land of Tales whose power had been stolen by the Queen Fairy. They would kill to have even an ounce of that magic back. What did the queen want with it all?

The minute the elevator started moving, all the leprechauns raised their arms straight up in the air and screamed as if they were on a roller coaster. “Ahhhh!”

Anthony clapped his hands over his ears and leaped into my arms like a terrified cat.

“Stop that!” I yelled at the guards, but the leprechauns kept on screaming right until the elevator stopped.

“What's with all the shrieking?” Anthony demanded as the door slid open and he jumped out of my arms.

Karfum shrugged like there was nothing weird about it. “That is the protocol here.”

I had to laugh. “You mean you're supposed to scream every time you go up the elevator?”

“And down,” said the female guard. “It took us some time to get used to it, but now we barely notice it anymore. The fairies all do it. You'll see.”

I didn't want to see. I wanted to find my parents and get as far away from this crazy place as possible.

We left the elevator and walked into an elaborate ballroom. Yet another thing that looked totally Disney. I could almost imagine dancing teapots flitting by. If any princes started singing at me, things would get ugly really fast.

As we shuffled into the room, I spotted a tall, thin woman in a poufy blue dress and even poufier gray hair gliding toward us. The closer she got, the taller she looked and the narrower her face appeared. When she was in front of us, I had to swallow a gasp. This creature didn't look anything like a fairy, no shimmery wings in sight. In fact, she looked like an alien, the outer space kind—pale skin, catlike eyes, and gangly limbs—if that alien was dressed up like Cinderella's fairy godmother.

I expected her to cry “Bibbity-bobbity-boo” and start singing, but instead she said, “Greetings,” in a low voice that didn't fit her I-just-stepped-out-of-a-UFO looks. “I am Lady Mahlia, the Queen Fairy's assistant. And you are Jenny the Adventurer. We have been waiting for you.”