My Soul to Take (8 page)

I pulled my eyes away from my sons and saw that Arach had already thrown himself out of the window after our boys. My husband shifted mid-leap and in seconds, a crimson dragon was diving head first, wings drawn-in, down the side of Castle Aithinne. Crying filled the air around me as my kingdom's most precious treasures fell, just out of the King's reach as the Queen lay earthbound in impotent pain. The height had been great and had they been cast outwards as Arach had intended to throw Rian, Arach would have been able to reach them in time. But as it was, their straight fall would send them crashing into Aithinne before their father could save them. And I would watch my children die. I knew it with gut-wrenching certainty.

Then the feathered Hidden Ones I'd once called hags, those screeching terrors with rotting faces and oily skin who had long ago chased me through the Forgetful Forest on a Wild Hunt, leaped into the air to save their princes. The Host shot through the sky like an arrow, to save instead of kill, for the first time in the history of Faerie. Their brethren called encouragement from the ground and my heart stuttered as I hoped. Surely one of them would reach my sons in time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vidar and Vali climbing up the side of the castle. When had they run past me and what were they doing? I looked back and forth between them and my falling twins and saw that my grown sons were scrambling up the mountainside on a straight course for the babies, trying to reach the point of impact before the children did. God strength was giving them a burst of speed but it didn't look like they'd make it.

Then everything went silent and still. Faerie herself seemed to hold her breath as time slowed and the beating of my heart filled my ears. Tha-thump; little wings caught the wind. Tha-thump; they opened triumphantly with a crack of sound. Tha-thump; light glinted off emerald scales. Tha-thump; a tiny dragon body twisted in the air.

I inhaled sharply, deeply, time returning to normal as my sons once again saved themselves. Rian angled upward, away from the jagged points of Aithinne's fatal façade. And in his strong claws, Brevyn was held securely, gurgling happily and slapping his brother's belly with babyish glee.

The fire faeries were frozen for just a second before a cacophony of joy and relief rose up from them, bathing their princes in adoration. Arach's triumphant roar rumbled over me as I watched him pull up in a dramatic arch, so he could chase after our scampering sons. Rian's roar blended with his father's as Arach reined him in, directing him back towards Aithinne and then into a circular downward spiral towards the waiting crowd.

Vali and Vidar began to climb back down Aithinne, much slower than they'd ascended and with obvious relief. The hags fluttered past them, down into the welcoming arms of their brethren. Everyone was hugging each other, laughing, and cheering. Dexter pressed into me, licking the tears from my cheeks. His sides were still trembling.

“Vervain?” Thor's face came into view as he leaned over me in concern.

“I'm okay,” I lifted my hand and he took it, helping me stand. Dexter stood with me, pressing into my side.

My beasts had quieted now that my dragon no longer fought for freedom, and although my legs were shaky from both fear and exhaustion, I really was alright. But I found myself pulled into a breath-stealing hug anyway.

A tremble flitted through my limbs and then I was outright shivering. I made a little sound as I pressed my face into Thor's wide chest, letting him hold me as I got my emotions under control. The scent of ozone over water calmed me and I realized then that he was trembling too. Arach and I weren't the only ones who had just come close to losing a son.

“He's okay,” Thor whispered to me. “They both are. They're alive. They're fine, the rascals.”

I'm not sure who he was trying to reassure.

“I know,” I took a deep breath and pulled back. “Are
you
okay?”

“Yeah,” he let out a shaky breath. “That was horrifying, Vervain. Why the hell would you let Arach do that?”

Dexter whined in agreement.

“I'm so sorry,” I laid my hand to his chest, right over his rapidly pounding heart. “I'm sorry you had to see that. You too, Dex,” I lowered my hand and Dexter rubbed his face into it. “What a homecoming you've had.”

“Why didn't you shift? What happened to your dragon?” Thor asked.

“That's a very good question,” Arach was walking up to us, clad only in a cloak someone had thrown over his shoulders. The clothes he'd been wearing were now scraps scattered over the mountain. He held both of our boys in his arms, Rian back in his human form. “What happened, Vervain?”

I ran forward and wrapped my arms around all three of them. Dexter went with me and circled his body around us. “My lion and wolf attacked my dragon. They wouldn't let her rise,” I told Arach as I took Brevyn from him. I kissed my son's silky forehead as Arach's free arm went around my back. Then I kissed Rian, rubbing my cheek to his and nuzzling the sprinkling of scales at his temples. “They turned against me when I tried to help her.”

I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of the twins, trying to convince myself that my sons were alive and well. Yes, there; the sunshine and citrus scent of Brevyn and over that, the smoky sugary smell of Rian, like toasted marshmallows. My shaky body was still trying to catch up to what my mind already knew and the smells helped.

I'd once thought that I wasn't meant to be a mother because I never liked the scent of babies and that baby smell is supposed to be a trigger to your brain, to make you want to protect them. I thought maybe my brain was broken but that wasn't it at all. I
wasn't
been meant to be a mother, at least not to human children. God and faerie babies smelled differently. Each one had a unique scent, just like grown gods and fey did, and I loved the smell of my children. Dexter pressed his face up and sniffed at them too, I felt the whoosh of his deep breaths before he backed away, reassured.

“Why would they do that?” Arach's free hand started to stroke my hair soothingly.

“I don't know... I...” I looked up at him suddenly and whispered, “self-preservation.”

“Self-preservation?”

“I'm not complete anymore,” I watched the comprehension fill his face. “It felt like they were fighting for their lives.”

“What does that mean?” Vali asked as he came up to us with Vidar.

“It means that I can't shift into my dragon form without threatening my other forms,” I glanced at them over my shoulder. “My lioness and wolf held back the dragon to save themselves. Without the completeness that my star gave me, my other magics may not be strong enough to survive a shift into dragon form. The magic of my dragon, brought out fully and without restrictions, could potentially obliterate any other magic inside me.”

It's her star
Faerie said grimly into our minds.
You must repair your star, Vervain.

“Yeah, I get that,” I growled and my infant boys stiffened, preparing to cry. “It's okay,” I instantly soothed them. “Mama's just a little pissed off at Faerie right now.”

Me?! Why are you mad at me?

“You couldn't have warned me?” I asked in a sing-song tone so my babies wouldn't get upset.

I didn't know.

“You didn't have
any
idea that this was a possibility?” Arach growled and the boys tensed again. He wasn't a very good actor.

“Let me take him,” I eased back and Arach let me have the Rian so that I held both the boys. “Everything's fine.”

I bounced them, one up on one hip while the other went down on the opposite side. Back and forth like a seesaw. It was a move I'd practiced and they loved it, giggling up at me like I was there own personal jungle gym. Dexter's eyes went wide as he watched me.

“Faerie?!” Arach snapped as he shifted his cloak to the side, so the opening was at his shoulder instead of center front.

I thought her wolf would be affected but I hadn't considered her dragon,
she admitted.
And
I'm not a hundred-percent certain that shifting into a dragon would destroy the other two.

Arach started to growl but I shook my head at him with a sigh, “Honestly, I didn't think about it either.”

“But she is the consciousness of the realm,” Arach huffed. “The Lady of Tir Nan Og. She should have known.”

I am not all seeing,
Faerie grumbled.

“No kidding,” I muttered and stopped with the seesawing.

I would never have risked the children if I'd known.

“Neither would I,” Arach sighed and caught my eyes. I saw the apology there but I shook my head; he couldn't have predicted any of that and I wouldn't hold him accountable for it. He smiled gently and kissed me, then he kissed our boys before he turned to face our anxious faeries. “Your prince has made his first flight! His right to rule has been established and our kingdom is secured,” he shouted to reassure them. Because that's what it means to be royalty, even when you're freaking out, you put on a good face for your people.

The fire fey cheered and Arach turned back to me. His face was grim and I knew he was thinking about how close he'd just come to losing all three of us. All at once. He laid his forehead to mine briefly, then pulled back and gave me a steady look. I nodded and handed him back Rian. He took Rian in one arm and me in the other, and our little fey-god family walked into Aithinne to celebrate the dramatic first flight of our prince. We just wouldn't tell our fey that their queen was simultaneously mourning the loss of her own flying ability.

Arach, the babies, Dexter, and I went upstairs so we could all (except Dex of course) put on some suitable celebration attire. I'd been wearing a simple linen dress in case I needed to shift, Arach and Rian were naked, and Brevyn's clothes were stained. While I was dressing Brevyn, we received a mirror call from King Rowan of Darkness, announcing that his wife, Queen Liatris, had given birth to twins. They had a boy and a girl, named Baidhen and Sinnea respectively. We congratulated him and then he hurried off with a huge smile, eager to get back to his new family.

Arach's eyes lit up, quite literally, and he gave me a look that sent shivers racing through my stomach. This was it, the point where our future could go down the wrong path. I had thought it all began with Odin, and it had, but time is tricky and once you mess with it, there's no telling what may happen. Things that went wrong once could always find another way to go wrong again.

But Arach saw the horror in my eyes and his face went pale. He nodded and without a single word, we chose the right path together. I breathed a sigh of relief as he hugged me and our sons to his chest, kissing my forehead gently. I felt a shiver go through him and knew that he knew we had just dodged tragedy for the second time that day.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Nothing is worth the chance of losing you,” he looked down at our sleeping, exhausted sons, “or them. Not even an alliance with another dragon kingdom.”

“Good,” I nodded approvingly. “Remember that.”

“But twins,” he laughed. “How the other faeries must be trembling with fear and jealousy.”

“I hadn't even thought about that,” I made a huffing sound. “Both dragon couples producing twins. Interesting.”

“Only more proof to our superiority,” he sniffed haughtily.

“Let's not forget that our sons were originally just one boy,” I chided him.

“Heroes and twins,” he agreed. “I won't forget.”

“You're obnoxious,” I shook my head.

“I'm a dragon king,” he said as if that explained everything... which it kinda did.

“Pretty names though,” I mused. “Baidhen and Sinnea.”

“Yes,” Arach agreed. “In the fey language Sinnea means
destiny
and Baidhen means
victory
. Very good choices.”

“Mmmhmm,” I headed toward the bed, where I laid Brevyn down so I could get dressed.

Arach laid Rian down beside his brother. He was already dressed but it was only in his diaper. We had stopped putting Rian in finery, his shapeshifting was too erratic and we inevitably lost whatever we put on him. So a diaper would have to do. Dexter jumped up on the bed and licked the babies' faces. The boys giggled, both of them reaching out to snatch at Dexter's mane. Dex shook his head, evading their hands.

“You
knew
Rowan and Lia would have twins,” Arach accused me. “And you didn't tell me.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” I shrugged. “It just didn't feel right to announce the birth of the twins before Lia even knew. And there was also the chance that the future had changed.”

“She could have had only one?” Arach mused. “Hmm, alright, I see your spike.”

“You see my what?” I turned to him in confusion.

“Your
spike
,” he waved absently with one hand as he dug through his armoire with his other. “The meaning to your actions.”

“My
point
,” I corrected him with a chuckle. “You see my point.”

“That's what I said,” he shrugged a velvet tunic on and then some pants. “I can't help it if you humans have multiple words for the same thing.”

“You, Dragon King,” I slipped my arms around his waist, “are absolutely charming.”

“Yes, I know,” he smirked, the crimson scales at his temples crinkling around his eyes. “But not as charming as my wife.”

“Oh, good save,” I kissed him and things started to get heated until a gurgle reminded us that we weren't alone.

“My sons!” Arach broke away and went to stand beside the bed. “They are magnificent, are they not?”

Dexter gave a satisfied huff.

“They're pretty cool, yeah,” I laughed as I joined them.

“We are fire faeries, sweet wife,” he slipped his arm around me. “We are never cool.”

“Ah, right you are,” I leaned down and picked up Brevyn. “Come on, hot stuff, grab your little dragon prince. We gotta let the rest of our people see his glorious little self.”

“Yes, my queen,” he beamed at me as he scooped up Rian.

Then we went down to see our subjects and our guests, who had gathered in the dining hall for a feast that was already getting rowdy. Cheering erupted as we stepped into the room and an aisle was cleared for us. We headed up it, to the dais at the other end of the hall. There, our royal table had been set out, complete with heraldic banner displaying the Fire Kingdom crest of a red, fire-breathing dragon. The crest, in the shape of a shield, was hung at the center front of the table. Behind the table, to either side of the thrones, Vali, Vidar, Thor and Kaitlin were seated; Thor and Vali were beside Arach's throne while Kaitlin and Vidar sat beside mine. But between the thrones were cradles; golden cradles made to resemble miniature thrones.

On the way through the room, I stopped and hugged each of the Hidden Ones who had tried to save my children. “Thank you,” I whispered over and over, as Arach shook their hands and added his regal approval to mine. Our gratitude was met with declarations of love and loyalty as well as relief over the princes' welfare. The giggling babies got passed among them and lowered so the Hidden Ones' toddlers could hug them too. The boys loved the Hidden Ones, especially their children, and they gleefully accepted the attention our most fearsome fey lavished on them. I think sometimes babies are more insightful than us adults. They haven't been taught to fear differences, they see only with their hearts.

“Aunty Queen,” Mini V pulled on my dress.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I bent down to give her a hug.

All four of her little arms went around me and she pressed her cheek to mine, her soft, golden fur tickling my skin.

“I was scared,” she whispered to me. “Why did the king throw the princes out the window?”

“He was helping Rian to fly,” I explained to her. “He didn't know Rian would take Brevyn with him.”

“Oh, he should have. Rian always goes with Brevyn,” she frowned, her flat nose wrinkling. Dexter came up and knocked his nose into her face, making her laugh. “Dexter, I missed you too.” She gave him a quick hug.

“Hey,” I tapped her nose. “Do you know I went into the future?”

“Mommy told me,” she gave me a serious nod. “The future was bad so you had to make it good.”

“I saw you there,” I smiled when her crimson eyes went round. “You are going to grow up and become a fierce, beautiful faerie.”

“I am?”

“You are,” I leaned closer. “But don't tell anyone else that I saw you. It's our secret.”

I didn't want to explain to the rest of the Hidden Ones' babies that I hadn't seen them because in that terrible future, they were all dead. Mini V was the only Hidden One who had survived the Faerie Wars.

“Okay, Aunty Queen,” her face lit up with a smile, showing off her fangs. “Our secret.”

“Good girl,” I gave her head a pat and stood.

Brevyn was handed back to me and I took Arach's arm again. He helped me up the steps and we went to stand before our thrones. Then we held up our sons and the crowd cheered. The boys waved their little fists at their people, already learning how to be monarchs. Then we took our seats and the room settled into the celebration.

“Looks like we came on the perfect day,” Kaitlin's eyes were huge and her little hands were nervously flying from her dark hair to her simple, cotton dress, and then to her flushed cheeks.

I hadn't thought to warn her of all my unusual fey. At the very least, I should have told her of the Hidden Ones, who weren't so hidden anymore and were currently striding freely among their brethren, wide grins on their nightmarish faces. I often forgot about my initial sight of the Hidden Ones, how they had terrified me into immobility. How my breath had stopped in my throat, and my heart had raced like a frightened bird's. I doubted that seeing them at Rian's launching had been enough time for Kaitlin to grow accustomed to them.

“Are you alright?” I asked her softly. “You know you're in no danger here. These are my people, my faeries, and although they look scary, they would never offer harm to a guest.”

“It can be difficult to look past such visages,” Vidar added in a calming voice, “but often, it's worth the effort. The Hidden Ones are valiant fey.”

I gave my son a soft smile, both proud and pleased that he was such a kind and discerning man. He smiled back, hearing everything I wanted to say to him without me having to utter a word. That was one of Vidar's talents. Not only could he express himself without words but he could understand others without them too.

“I'm sure they are,” Kaitlin took a deep breath between us. “I just hadn't thought that faeries would be so frightening.”

“Just some of them,” I shrugged. “But they can also be amazingly beautiful,” I pointed to the leanan-sidhe. “I'll tell you a secret though; it's the pretty ones you have to watch out for. For example; the leanan-sidhe are basically faerie vampires.”

Her eyes went even wider.

“Faerie is as dangerous as she is wondrous,” I smiled gently. “Treat her and her residents with respect and a healthy dose of caution, and you'll be fine... oh, and maybe don't wander too far away from me.”

Kaitlin paled.

“I'm kidding,” I laughed but then went deadpan again. “But stay in the castle.”

“Okay.”

“Now,” I smiled gently and offered her Brevyn. “Would you like to meet Brevyn?”

Her eyes focused on my son and instantly started to tear up. Brevyn cocked his head at the woman and went serious, as he often did. His royal blue eyes, so like Ull's, focused on Kaitlin intensely. A tear slipped down Kaitlin's cheek as she slowly reached a hand out to Brevyn. Brevyn looked at her hand and blinked, his little body shivered in my grip and I started to grow concerned. But then he reached out and tapped the end of her finger. Just a little ET-phone-home tap but it was enough to express his acceptance. I passed him over to Kaitlin and she took him carefully.

“Hey you,” she whispered as she hugged my son. “I've been waiting to meet you.”

She began crying fully and I realized that the faeries around us had gone quiet, watching the exchange between this human woman and their prince. I laid a hand on Brevyn's head and one on Kaitlin's shoulder, letting everyone know I had given my blessing to this strange relationship. Still, the faeries watched and waited. Dexter even got up from his sprawl across my feet and crawled out from beneath the table so he could better see what was going on. He sat on my right and looked back and forth between Kaitlin and I.

Then Brevyn reached a tiny, chubby hand up to Kaitlin and awkwardly wiped away her tears.

I inhaled sharply, a hand going to my mouth, as I witnessed the reunion of my old friend and the woman he loved. How bittersweet to hold the soul of your lover in an infant body and know that even though he was there with you, he wasn't really yours. Not yet.

And what was it like for Brevyn; to feel something so strong for a stranger and yearn for things he couldn't possibly understand? Was he happy to see Kaitlin? Sad? Maybe I shouldn't have brought her to Faerie. Son of a succubus! Did I just screw up my son? Was he going to need fey psychotherapy? Was there even such a thing? I knew I wasn't fit to be a mother. Why did I do this? I'd end up-

Vali made a shocked sound, startling me from my mommy madness, and a baby dragon came scrambling over my lap and into Kaitlin's. Dexter yipped as Kaitlin pulled back a little in surprise, staring at Rian with horrified eyes. It's one thing to see a dragon from a distance and quite another to have one sit on your knee. But Rian didn't care about her shock, he just wanted to know who this woman was, holding his twin. He stuck his face up into hers, staring at her fiercely. Kaitlin, to her credit, held his ferocious gaze, and Rian finally lowered his nose to his brother. Brevyn laughed and smacked Rian hard on the chest, causing Rian to grunt.

Rian huffed, moved back, and perched on the arm of my throne. He settled into simply watching, his tail curling absently around my arm. The faeries went back to their feast but Dex pushed his way between me and the table so he could sit beside Rian and keep guard with him. Rian looked down and something seemed to pass between him and the nurial; an understanding. It felt to me kind of like;
if something goes wrong, you take the right and I'll get her from the left.

“Looks like you passed the Rian test,” Vali noted and I glanced up to see him leaning on the back of my throne. “I was holding Rian and we were getting along pretty well until he noticed that Kaitlin had Brevyn. Then he shifted and ran over here. He tore my leather pants,” Vali chuckled and waved a hand towards his thigh. “Leather. Damn those claws are sharp.”

“Sorry,” I made an embarrassed face. “That's why he has a scratching post.”