My Wish for You (3 page)

***

As the lights
came up, I realized that I still had my head buried in Sean’s chest. He seemed
to have also become aware of it. There was a sudden tension in both of our
bodies and I glanced up.

“You okay there,
Sam?” he asked, half amused.

“Oh, shut up,” I
said as I lightly slapped his shoulder, stood up, and stalked off as far as I
could.

“Hey! Wait up. I
was only kidding,” he said, catching up to me.

“Yeah, and now I
won’t be able to sleep for weeks.”

“I’m sure you
will,” he disagreed.

We walked to his
truck and once again he helped me up. The drive to my house was silent, but it
wasn’t awkward this time as we both seemed to be lost in our own thoughts.

There seemed to
be something between us, something that neither of us wanted to admit…well,
something that
one
of us didn’t want to admit. What if this whole night
was just two friends hanging out and I just got it mixed up? What if all the
messages that I read as him liking me were really just nothing? I wanted to
know how he really felt about me, but I was too afraid to ask.

He pulled into
my driveway, got out of the truck, and came over to my door. He opened it and
held out his hand for me to get out of his truck. For the second time, I fell
into his arms, but this time, he didn’t let me go. I looked up at the stars
just in time to see a shooting star blaze across the sky.

“Make a wish,
Sammy,” Sean whispered.

“Only if you do.”

“Alright.” We
both closed our eyes and made a wish. I made the same wish that I always
made…that he would come to his senses and go out with me. When I opened my
eyes, he was looking at me with uncertainty in his eyes. I tried to make my
departure smoothly.

“I had a good—”

Suddenly, his
lips were on mine. My body was going against my better judgment, but the line
had been crossed and there was no going back. We moved up against his truck as
my hands slid up to his face. Our lips glided together like waves washing up on
the beach. The world seemed to disappear. All of my worries just vanished and I
was lost in the moment…we were both lost in the moment. Then, as suddenly as it
started, we both realized what we were doing, and he pulled back from our
embrace.

I stared at my
feet and mumbled, “Thanks for taking me to the movies. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I turned and ran into my house, shutting the door behind me.
The movie isn’t
going to be the thing keeping me up tonight
.

***

I made sure
everything was locked and drug my feet up the stairs. My head was buzzing. What
did this mean? What was he going to do about Tasha? How could I have been
so
stupid? I opened the door to Sarah’s and my room to find Sarah lying on her
bed—awake, of course, typing away at her laptop.
Why does she have to be
awake tonight, of all nights
? We had plenty of space in our house for us to
have our own rooms. Sarah and I shared more out of habit than anything else,
but at times like this I wished I had my own room.

She looked up
and stopped typing as I softly shut the door behind me.

“Holy crap, Sam.
What happened to you?”

“I did something
terrible,” I told her as I dropped my bag to the ground and sank into my bed. I
began to tell her everything, from the first awkward embrace, to my head in his
shoulder during the movie, to our parting kiss.

“Wow,” she
paused, unsure of what to say. “How was it?” she finally asked with a grin.

“Amazing,” I
answered with a brief smile. “It sent chills through my entire body.”

“Those are the
best,” she laughed.

“Yeah, but that’s
not the point.”

“Then, what is
the point?” she asked, confused. She didn’t understand why I was feeling the
way I did.

“The point is
that I’m a terrible person. He has a girlfriend!” I explained to her,
exasperated.

“No, Sam, you’re
not. You just had a minor lapse in judgment. It happens to everyone. I’m sure
it will all be okay.”

“And if it’s
not?”

“Then, we’ll
take it from there. Relax, get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.”

“Yeah, I guess
you’re right. ‘Night Sarah.”

“Goodnight Sam.”

I pulled off my
jeans and climbed into my bed. The sheets and blankets didn’t give me the
comfort that I hoped they would. I tried to convince myself that Sarah was
right, but I couldn’t. I felt awful. How could I have done such a thing? But I
couldn’t keep torturing myself with thoughts of the night’s events. My
exhaustion soon overwhelmed me, and I fell asleep to the sound of Sarah’s
typing.

Chapter Four

The snap of the
curtains being pulled woke me up with a start. Shining onto my pillow, the
sunlight hurt my eyes. I pulled the blankets up over my head to try to get some
more sleep. The bedroom door slammed shut as my mom stormed out. I groaned as I
realized that I wasn’t going to get anywhere near sleep again this morning.

“Someone’s not
in a pleasant mood this morning,” Sarah sighed as she kicked off her blankets
and got up.

“She’s not the
only one,” I muttered darkly. Lying there, I tried not to think about the day
ahead of me. As I tried to move around that thought, thoughts of last night
came rolling upon me with a wave of nausea. Tossing back my sheets, I ran out
of our room and into the bathroom. When Brian walked in, I was tossing out
anything that was in my stomach.

“What did you do
last night?” he silently chuckled. Usually, I would have some smart remark to
shoot back at him, but under the circumstances, I just shot him a murderous
glance, chucked a plunger at him, and turned back for another round of
sickening punishment.  

“Not cool, Sam.
Not cool.” He shook his head as he walked out of the bathroom and shut the door
behind him. I wondered what his problem was. He usually would’ve sat there and
held back my hair. We were a set of those twins that was unbelievably close. I
guessed everyone was just in an awful mood this morning.

No longer
distracted by throwing up, I heard a muffled conversation from behind the door
as I rested my head on the ground. It sounded like Brian and Sarah, but I
couldn’t be sure. I was lying down on the cold stone floor, sure that I wasn’t
going to be sick anymore, when I heard a soft knock on the door and it opened
slightly. Sarah poked her head in.

Sarah and I
looked nothing alike. She was tall and more sports-like, while I was shorter
and more petite. She had shoulder length brown hair and green eyes, and usually
wore contacts, out of convenience more than anything; she loved her glasses.

“Well, don’t you
just look like a ball of sunshine,” she said as she came in and sat next to me.

“That seems to
be the general consensus,” I moaned sarcastically as my stomach cramped up
again. I sat up and leaned over the toilet again. She pulled my hair back as my
convulsions started to take over. I had been wrong in thinking that there was
nothing left in my stomach. When I was done, I lay back down and Sarah handed
me a cool, damp washcloth.

“Is this about
last night or did you eat something weird?” she asked, her voice touched with
true concern. She stroked my hair soothingly.

“I just ate
something weird,” I murmured as I looked away. I was usually a good liar when I
needed to be, but for some reason, I could never lie to Sarah.

“Okay; well, you
should wash up. Mom’s going to kill you if she sees you lying on the bathroom
floor. We’re supposed to be down at breakfast in an hour.” Sarah pretended that
she didn’t know that I was lying, almost like she knew that I didn’t want to
talk about last night’s events. She was very perceptive that way, very
trustworthy. I knew she wouldn’t go talking about last night to Brian or anyone
else.

When I’d first
moved in, we’d wanted to strangle each other. She felt I was intruding on her
territory, and I felt she was an annoying know-it-all. But, something had
clicked the last summer I went to the cabin, and we grew very close, the only
good thing that came out of that summer.

Finally, I found
the strength to stand up. I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned when I
saw that I really did look like crap. Sluggishly, I locked the door and started
the shower. I was about to step in when I heard a banging on the bathroom door.

“Samantha! If
you think you’re going to take a shower now then you’re wrong. You don’t have
time for that. They’re going to be here in a half hour.”

I sighed and
opened the door to argue, but my mom was already gone. Amazed that I had
already wasted a half hour, I turned the sink on. The water was cool and
refreshing as I splashed it on my face. My stomach wasn’t upset anymore…I just
felt empty. I trudged into my room and looked around.

Sarah had
cleaned up. The beds were made and everything was tidy. Wondering where she was,
I looked over at the clock to check the time. Shocked to find out that I only
had twenty minutes left until Sean and his family arrived, I rushed into my
walk-in closet and searched for something to wear. I tugged my last pair of
jeans off the hanger, grabbed the closest t-shirt within my reach, then pulled
on my brown designer shirt and slipped on my light, cut up jeans.

I walked back
into the bathroom, calmer than I was before. It was easier to think about
everything now that my head was clearer. I pulled out my toothbrush and
toothpaste and briskly brushed my teeth. When I rinsed out my mouth, I spit the
water all over my clothes. Extremely frustrated with myself, I ran back into my
room and closet and grabbed my green sweats and a black tank top. I jerked them
on and rushed back into the bathroom.

Nothing was
cooperating with me like it was the night before. My hair was a mess, and my
skin was pale from getting sick earlier. I hurriedly tossed my hair into a
messy bun and stuck a few bobby pins in it to hold my bangs back. I pulled out
my make-up and applied a quick layer of cover up before I heard my father
calling me from downstairs. I stuck my make-up in my purse.

“I’ll be right
down!” I hollered from the bathroom. My things were already downstairs. All the
other essentials I would need were in my purse. I took one last look at myself
before I went down to face everyone…to face him. I didn’t look awful, but I
certainly didn’t look as good as I had the night before. My eyes looked as if I
had been crying for days, which wasn’t a comforting thought; I didn’t want Sean
to think that I had been crying about him. My hair had turned out okay.
Somewhat content with my appearance, I left the bathroom and went to face the
day.

When I got
downstairs, I discovered that everyone was already there, sitting in the family
room having their own separate conversations. “The Adults” were sitting on the
west side of the room in the chairs. Charles and Mr. W were smoking away as
usual. Mom and Mrs. W were talking about the latest fashions and sales.

Over in the
corner, Sarah, Brian, Sean, and Cassie, Sean’s older sister, were arguing over
some movie. Mitch had left late last night to get back to campus, so he wasn’t
there. Sean didn’t seem to be very engaged in the conversation, and when I
walked up I realized why. They were talking about the movie that we had seen
together.

“Hey Cass,” I
mumbled as I took my seat next to Sarah.

“Samantha,” she
greeted me coolly. I wondered what was up with her. We had never been the best
of friends, but we had always gotten along fairly well.

I glanced over
at Sean and he was looking at me. I couldn’t break my gaze from him. There was
something in the way that he looked at me that I couldn’t place. It wasn’t
anger or sadness. He obviously didn’t blame me for last night, despite the fact
that I blamed myself. I didn’t blame him for my mistakes.

“Breakfast is
ready,” Lucinda announced, breaking our gaze. Everyone stood up and headed into
the kitchen. Sean and I tried to avoid each other, but wound up being forced to
sit right across from each other at the dining table. As Lucinda, our
housekeeper, brought out breakfast, I realized that I was starving. She had
made French toast and brought out some fresh fruit. I piled a mound of fruit on
my plate and dug in.

“So, Sean, your
mother was telling me that Tasha is going to be staying with a friend at their
cabin. When is she coming up?” my mother asked him. I dropped my fork and my
mom glared at me. She knew I liked him, and didn’t like the fact that I was so
obvious about my feelings for him when he had a girlfriend. Sean ignored my
reaction.

“She should be
coming up about a week from now. Tasha has some things to take care of before
she can leave.”

“That will be
nice, won’t it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he
politely responded. He really didn’t seem the slightest bit interested in the
fact that Tasha was coming up. I wondered what was going to happen to them.

“Brian, you
should learn to be more like Sean,” my mom was suggesting to Brian. “He is
always so polite.”

“Yeah, so I can
be with the most popular girl who’s cheating on me. I would just love to be
that guy,” Brian murmured sarcastically, just loud enough for everyone at our
end of the table to hear it. Simultaneously, I stomped on his foot as Sean went
to kick him under the table. Needless to say, he missed Brian completely and
kicked my shin with as much force as he could muster under the table.

“What did you
say Brian?” Dad asked as Brian and I let out a yelp of pain. Everyone looked at
me. I stared up at the ceiling as if it would reveal the world’s secrets. Sean
looked mortified.

“I said that she
was right and that I should be more polite,
sir
,” Brian quickly covered
for me. He had more problems with our stepfather than I did; they were always
fighting about something, from picking up a sock from his floor to Brian’s
grade point average.