Mysty McPartland (16 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Dalla hid herself away until her tears dried, but now she sat down in the hall and waited for word on Tarrel’s injury. When she saw Phillip come downstairs she slowly rose to her feet, she moved over to him and blocked his way. “My husband, how is he?”

Phillip saw out of
the corner of his eye that his mistress was heading his way, he hoped to avoid her, not wanting to be the one to tell her about the laird’s orders, but seeing her now standing in front of him, he tried not to let her beauty and her wretchedness affect him. “He is sleeping and should soon awaken.”

Relieved t
aking a deep sigh, she let herself relax. “I will go and sit with him.”

Before she move
d away, Phillip spoke up. “’Tis sorry I am my Lady. ‘Tis the laird’s wish that ye stay well away from him until he has completely recovered.” He watched the sadness wash into her lovely eyes and needed to turn away. It made him feel cruel at seeing how much his words hurt her, he felt guilty but he could not go against his laird’s demand. So, he stepped around her and hurried from the hall hating to see how devastated his mistress was. 

Phillip’s words were another shattering blow to her already damaged heart, she knew now that any hope of making Tarrel love her seemed futile now. If he didn’t trust or want her nursing him there didn’t seem much point in trying to win his heart.

Devastated, she slowly made her way upstairs and to a chamber further along the hall to the one she shared with him. Closing the door softly behind her, she moved across the darkened bedchamber sank down on to the feather mattress, buried her face in the pillow, and cried out her heartache and loneliness. Still she prayed that he would survive, no matter how much it hurt her that he would never love her, she didn’t want him to suffer.

It was late in the night when
she sat up and finally wiped the tears from her face. She wanted to know, needed to know, how he was doing. Once again, she moved across the darkened room and pulled the door open, walked down the passageway, and paused outside his bedroom door.

Nervously taking a deep breath, she pushed it open and moved just inside the doorway. Her gaze was drawn to his large form on the bed and even in sleep; she could see his brow etched in pain. At Duncan’s soft voice, she turned to face him.

“He is sleeping well, my Lady.”
Surprised at hearing the door open, he opened his eyes and stared at his mistress with suspicion, there was no mistaking that she had been crying.

H
er head nodding, she turned back to her husband and with one more long lingering glance, she turned and left the room. Quietly, she closed the door and leaned against it willing herself not to cry. It took nearly everything in her to leave him; she wanted to be by his side to soothe away his pain. But he didn’t want her there and that is what hurt more than anything else. Pushing away from the door, she strolled slowly back to her chamber and once she was locked inside, she let the tears fall.

It was going to be hard
however; she knew that until he asked for her, she would not go back to his bedchamber again. She did not think she could walk away from him so easily the next time she went to visit him. Heartbroken she curled up on the mattress and silently wept.

How she was going to get through the next few days or weeks acting normally she had no clue. Her pride wouldn’t let anyone see just how
distraught and crushed she was by her husband’s rejection. It tortured her knowing that during all those wonderful moments they spent in each other’s arms, he hadn’t trusted her.

What a gullible fool to think that their lovemaking had truly meant something special to him. She was a foolish, foolish girl. Her head had been in the clouds
but it most assuredly wasn’t now. She’d been tossed back to earth and experienced a soul shattering, tormented landing. Now all she could do was try and mend her broken heart and stop loving her husband.

Probably an
impossible feat, but since he cared so little for her she wasn’t about to waste her love on a man who didn’t want it. She would give him the wife he wanted, unfeeling, emotionless and go about her duties just as he commanded her to do in the beginning. There would be no more shared laughter, talking at meal time, no joy and no intimate touches.

****

For two weeks
, Tarrel lay in bed since the boar gouged his thigh and he was restless, angry and frustrated. His decision made, he concluded enough was enough, he tossed the covers aside and even though it caused spear of agony, swung his legs of the edge of the mattress. He winced when pain shot along his thigh, gritting his teeth he was determined to go downstairs and get on with his duties; he also wanted to see his wife.

The wench never came to see him since the day of his accident and when she offered to help him, he turned her down and sent her from him. Duncan said that she never once enquired about his health since that night and he was disappointed, he admitted grudgingly. It seemed she held little affection for him and it proved that she was still in love with the other man. Well, if that is what she felt so be it, all he would ask of the woman was to care for his home and satisfy him in bed.

It took him some time to
dress, he felt as weak as a day-old kitten and cursed himself, but he would not let it stop him from going downstairs. It took quite an effort and the sweat beaded his body as he stood on the last step and gazed over the hall. He smiled when his clan finally realized he was in the room and stood on their feet and shouted their joy. His gaze searched the hall for his wife and spying her; he frowned when she remained seated and would not look at him.

His mouth thinned into a hard
, angry line as he hobbled towards the table, he had to stop a few times while some of the clan asked about his health. At least they care, he thought with mounting irritation especially considering his own wife still ignored his existence. Finally he was free and made it the rest of the way to the table. He winced as he sat down.

Now seated beside her, he became further annoyed over her lack of attention, when she stood up, he grasped her hand and he gritted his teeth when she refused to acknowledge him. “It seems ye are nay happy to see me and wish to rush away from my company.”

Dredging up her pride, raising her head, she coolly stared at the people that sat watching them, it took a great effort for her to speak softly, when all she wanted to do was rant and rave at him. “’Tis nay for me to linger when my Laird wishes for me to see to his comfort. I must be about my duties and dinna have nay time to dally.”

So surprised by her answer
, he pulled his hand from her wrist and his gaze travelled over her face. He was shocked to see that her eyes no longer sparkled or that her face glowed with joy. What he saw were eyes void of any emotion at all and her face, even though was still beautiful, was missing the essence of her being.

What had
transformed his angel in the last few weeks since he’d last seen her? Surely, she wasn’t so upset over his refusal to let her care for him. He shook his head slightly. Nay that couldn’t be it; it was much more than that. Well, it didn’t matter as long as she accepted what he wanted from her that was all that mattered.

Only after she disappeared from sight, did he notice that his clan watched her with sorrowful eyes and once the door closed behind her, he heard their woeful sighs. He turned and waved to Duncan to join him and once he was seated, asked exactly what had happened since he had been injured. “Out with it and dinna omit one single word. I want to hear it all.”

“Since ye sent ye wife away she has changed. She nay longer plays with the children, speaks or smiles at anyone unless it is to give them an order.
The lass works from dawn till late at night. It seems she is a driven woman and the clan is nay happy that she nay longer blesses them with her sweet smiles.” Duncan answered and shook his head sadly.

After his friend
finished his explanation, he leaned back in his chair, rubbed his chin and gazed thoughtfully over his clan, he could not help miss the accusing glares sent his way and snorted. It seemed they blamed him for the changes in his wife, well maybe he was to blame but to his way of thinking, his life would now be settled just as he always hoped it would be. Contented.

Aye that is all I want contentment and as long as
she was doing her duty and satisfies me in bed, I willna complain
. He had come to the decision during the long days and nights he lay in his empty bed. The nonsense of wanting more from her was just that, nonsense and he would be satisfied with just a well-organized life. His mind made up, he ignored the cold glares he was receiving and reached for the jug of ale, quite at ease with his decision.

Though tired, he
sat long after everyone had left the hall and sought their beds. He didn’t know what duty could be keeping his wife out so late, but he would wait for her to come back. He sat up straight when the door opened and she stepped inside. His eyes narrowed at seeing her soaked to the very bone, he hissed out displeasure at her carelessness. What had the damn foolish wench been up to now?

****

The moment her husband no longer held her, Dalla turned away and hurried out of the hall, she couldn’t bear to be with him another minute. Once outside she took a deep breath and blinked away the tears that burned her eyes. There were no duties for her to see to and, dragging her feet, she moved down the steps and crossed the bailey to the steep steps to the battlement. Settling in a corner of the wall, her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as she tried to stop herself from weeping.

At least up here she didn’t have to put up with all the sad looks from the clan that followed her day and night
. She knew they didn’t understand why she was ignoring them and even though she felt an immense weight of guilt over her actions, she couldn’t let them bury into her heart.

Despondently shaking her head, she knew it was pitiful that she still deeply cared for him. It had taken her every effort not to respond when he had left his bed and came into the hall, she refused to glance up from her plate, but she couldn’t prevent the quick beat of her heart or stop her hands from shaking. She forced herself to keep eating so she could leave.

She would not let this man take over her heart
again; it nearly took everything in her not to ask about him these agonizing weeks. Not to go to the chamber they once shared and see him and beg him to love her. No, she told herself, all he wanted was a woman to see to his home and that was all she would do. She forced herself to bury her love for him and she would not let it out again.

The hours past and she huddled in misery and wondered what the future would be like. It was a sad fact that what any happiness they might have found was now lost forever. The years ahead looked barren and lonely, they were both to blame, she thought, and they would just have to find a way to live with the unhappiness.

It was late into the night and still
she sat on the cold floor of the battlement, she ignored the occasional glances from the guards as she stared out at the cloud filled sky. Even though she was chilled to the bone and it started to drizzle she still didn’t move. She didn’t want to go back into the hall until she was certain her husband would have gone to his chamber.

She was not ready yet to come face to face with him in another conf
rontation, nay, not until she walled up her heart and her feelings and she knew that it would take some time before that happened. It was around midnight and she knew she could no longer stay where she was, the drizzle now turned into rain and she was soaked through to her very soul and freezing cold.

With legs that
shook, she rose to her feet and made her way down off the wall. Her steps dragged as she went back into the hall and she was pleased to find it empty. With a sigh of relief, she crossed the great room and just before she placed her foot on the first step, she jumped at the sound of her husband’s harsh voice.

“I dinna ken
what duties could keep ye so late at night or why they can make ye so wet. I suggest wife that ye go to our chamber and make ready for bed. I will join ye shortly.” Tarrel snapped at her with displeasure.

With
out turning around, she squeezed her eyes shut and felt the bile rise up in her stomach. So it was going to be like this was it, well the bastard would find no pleasure in her arms this night or any other. Placing her foot on the step, she slowly climbed them and prayed that she would not react to his love making, she silently demanded of herself not to. If he wanted a cold, loveless marriage by God that would be exactly what he would have.

Thoughtfully
he watched his wife move up the staircase, he studied her from hooded eyes, he unwilling admitted that the sight of her even wet and bedraggled still fired his blood and he could not wait to be inside her again. He missed her in his bed and he could not wait till he held her in his arms and tasted her sweet flesh again.

Chapter Eigh
teen