Naked and Defiant (17 page)

"I don't feel very wise right now, and the
only enemy I have is my father," Jade said, softly. She looked down
at her bare feet upon the hard ground. "I feel like my world is
closing in upon me. For the first time in my life, I experienced
true freedom. But that freedom was snatched from me the minute I
returned to my home."

"The price of freedom was your joy?"

"Yes. With that freedom also came love like I
have never felt. But it was not returned."

Matat handed her a nut. "Do you know what
this is?"

"Isn't this a candle nut?"

"Yes." He broke it open and stuck it in her
mouth. "It tastes good, no?"

"Yes, like a macadamia."

"It is good, but eat too many without
roasting and you will be spending many hours behind the
bushes."

"Okay …." Jade wrinkled her brow. "I gather
they tend to be a bit hard on the digestive system. Your
point?"

The old man smiled and placed another nut on
a rock. He produced an old-fashioned bit from his pouch and drilled
a hole in the center of the hard shell. He grabbed a green stick,
carved the tip into a point, and forced the end into the hole. He
then handed it to Jade.

"This will give you the answer you
need."

Jade frowned, raising her eyebrow. "Matat,
how can a seed on top of a stick tell me anything? Have you been
sipping fermented Quondong juice?"

"I have sipped much," the old man grinned,
showing two remaining teeth, "but not this day. Follow me and
listen to the spirits. Practice what you have learned during your
journey."

Jade followed him in silence along the
narrows trails, through puddles of water, and along the trunks of
fallen trees. She took in the sights and sounds of the prehistoric
forest, memorized the scent of the air and the taste of the mists
that hung around the trunks of timeworn trees. She paused
occasionally to yank an unwelcome leech from her bare ankle and to
sip some water from the bottle she had brought. Matat refused her
offer of a drink, winking as he poured some captured rainwater from
the cup of a bromeliad into his mouth.

"The sweetest nectar comes from the things
you do not seek," he said.

"That nectar has bugs in it, Matat," Jade
grinned, as he crunched on a beetle.

"Yes, but that adds texture to the
sweetness."

"You are one crazy old dude," Jade chuckled,
following him deeper into the forest.

"I am that. Who made you that bow?" he
asked, as Jade loosened the string to save it from the
humidity.

"My problem."

The old man grinned. "Your problem must have
loved you very much. He carved blessings into the wood."

Jade frowned as she studied the scribbles
whittled into the sides, extending from to the grip to both the
upper and lower limbs. "Blessings? I thought they were just
decoration. He made it while we were sitting out the storm."

"These lines on the bottom," the old man
traced in the dirt, "show your journey together. These are symbols
for the campfire: sharing food, laughter, and tears. These other
show the storm, bad water, high moon, the sun and a rainbow."

"Wow," Jade whispered.

"These on top are blessings and promises for
health, happiness, good fortune and love. See how great the love
symbol is?"

"How could I have missed that?"

"Just like a lizard hiding in a tree, it
will not be seen until your eyes are prepared to be opened. Welcome
to my village, little rabbit."

Jade wiped the sweat of her forehead as she
looked over the small clearing that housed about five families. She
shook her head as she pointed to the giant cocoon hammocks hanging
from large boughs. "Where in the world did you get those? I came
here to escape the luxury of my father's world and now you are
going civilized on me. Why would you do this?"

"Foolishness comes with one who refuses
wisdom, Jade. These tents are warm, dry, and easy to carry. They
stay off the ground when the rains run through, and keep out the
snakes and insects. When you began your journey, what took the most
energy to survive?"

"Probably looking for food and water. Once
we made the shelter, we had something that was stable and just
needed to be kept up. Oh, and having a fire, of course, but that
was easy to maintain if we had enough dry wood. What does that have
to do with these hammocks?"

"The belief is the same. We could spend
energy building our shelters as we travel, or we could use that
energy to find food. We are hunters and gatherers, and our tribe
has survived by adapting to our environment. Wisdom, little rabbit.
They provide protection for us to survive."

"But where do you draw the line between
comfort and integrity of a culture? I'm confused."

"Sit, child." The man
squatted in front of her. "There is an old proverb that children
learn as soon as they can talk. '
We are
all just visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing
through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love
… and then we return home
.' Every man will
see life through his own eyes, and while we try to understand what
another might see, we never truly are able. Only each of us knows
in here," he patted his chest," when our visit is over and how
successful we were before we returned home."

"Say it in English, Matat. This thinking is
making my head ache."

"You are to just sit back and enjoy the
ride," the man laughed loudly, making a nest of birds startle from
the trees. "It is getting dark. Where is your stick?"

"This thing?" She held up the nut. "Please
don't tell me that you want me to knock it against my skull and use
it to beat wisdom into my head."

Matat laughed. "No, not today. Tomorrow
might bring about a different opinion. Put the nut into the
flames."

"Seriously? We are having a nut roast right
now? Very well …. Wow!" she exclaimed as the nut lit on fire,
casting light around her."I didn't know they could do this! It's
like a mini torch."

"They are named candle nuts for this
purpose. Their worth has many paths. Some are like the paths to the
left and right. These trails provide food or medicine, and oil for
the skin and hair. Other paths, like the center foot path you
choose, bring awareness to different things of value. What do you
see there?" He pointed at an object.

Jade squinted. "Ít looks like a stripped
spine of a palm leaf beaded with twelve large nuts. What do you do
with that?

"We can light all the nuts at once to enjoy
the pleasure of light without much heat, or we can use them to
measure the time, as each one burns out and the flame goes to its
companion."

"Okay, this is very lovely, Matat, but I
need to understand what you are trying to tell me."

"Ask the spirits, Jade. They will speak if
you are quiet enough to listen. Close your eyes."

Jade obeyed, sitting cross-legged upon a
tree platform that Matat offered her. She inhaled deeply, closed
her eyes, and opened her mind. The jungle sprung into a chorus of
sounds, from the dripping of water plopping musically into small
puddles, to the wispy scratching of insects moving along the
ground. An occasional bird released a plaintive cry from the giant
canopy above, singing along to the whispering wind and the ghostly
flapping of bats.

Her peace was interrupted throughout the
night by biting insects. Frustrated and tired, Jade finally pulled
out the bug repellant and covered herself with the pungent oil. She
heard Matat chuckle from his cocoon tent.

"What are you laughing at?" she whispered,
putting the bottle away.

"Do you use that spray for comfort or
wisdom?"

"I can't sleep with these things eating me
alive. So comfort."

"Is there wisdom to what you have done?"

"Well, yeah. If I can't sleep, I won't be
alert. I could step on a snake or get into an accident. I do need
to sleep."

"Does using this spray diminish the things
you have learned, or prevent you from learning more?"

"Or course not. Why do you ask me this?"

"Closed your eyes and allow the spirits to
answer you."

Jade grumbled under her breath, trying to
exercise patience as she waved the flying insects away from her
face. They no longer feasted on her, but the sound of them near her
ears and the occasional ant climbing on her flesh was just as
annoying. She eyed the palm spines with threaded candle nuts and
spontaneously grabbed one. She lit the first nut and watched as the
smoky amber glow chased away the annoying pests. With a satisfied
grin, she hung the candle-nut strip from the tree limb and leaned
back.

Comfort or wisdom?
She thought of the proverb her mentor had shared.
Was it possible that they could be one and the same? Was she
supposed to give into the journey or fight against it?

Jade reached to rub her stiff neck the next
morning as flocks of squawking birds attacked the insects in the
trees above. She glanced at her candlenuts and blew the final one
out before she left her platform. Matat beckoned for her to join
the gathering of villagers.

"Come, little rabbit. We eat together this
morning in celebration."

"Thank you. Celebration of what?"

"Must there be a cause to celebrate? The sun
rose in the heavens this morning. Is that something to
celebrate?"

"It rises every morning. I don't
understand."

"You do not understand because you have lost
the ability to show gratitude. You take for granted it will be
there, and you expect it to be. Did you not experience dark weather
upon your island?"

Jade blushed, remembering when the sun
because a source of hope for her and Griffon between the dark,
cloudy storms. A twinge of remorse passed through her heart. "You
are right. There are many things I have forgotten to be
appreciative for. Matat, I need to go home. Would you please show
me how to get out of here?"

"Choose a path, Little Rabbit." He offered a
toothless smile, "Find your way to where you must go. Take this to
cling to when you need direction."

He placed a leather cord around her neck and
kissed both cheeks. Her hand wrapped tightly around the hard, cold
rock that dangled between her breasts. It was the piece of jade
Griffon had given her, and it hung heavily against her heart.

***

Jade placed her bag and bow on the marble
table in the foyer and walked, dirty and barefoot, into her
father's study. She entered without knocking and stood before him.
The man looked rumpled, as though he had slept in his clothes and
was unshaven and unkempt. He looked up at her with tired, hollow
eyes.

"Daddy? I need to say something to you." Jade
held her chin up proudly. "Thank you for trying to give me what you
thought I needed to live. I was wrong to judge you for using wealth
to make us comfortable."

"What are you talking about?"

"I went on a spiritual Walkabout in the
northern forest. Matat taught me something. He showed me that
wisdom begins with humility, and through humility, you use the
tools given to you to survive. He showed me that I don't have to
force myself to be uncomfortable when it's not necessary, as long
as I know it's a privilege and not a right. He reminded me that I
needed to be grateful."

"You went up to Daintree? Jade! There are
crocs in the rivers there, and snakes …"

"I needed to speak to the spirits and seek
some direction. I wanted to talk to Matat to see how he, a village
elder who still practices the old way of life, reconciled western
culture with his faith. They have cocoon tents in his village. I
was shocked," Jade explained, "until he explained that there was
nothing wrong with redirecting your energy. When I came home, I
tried to relive my island experience. Griffon was very hard on me
because I sat back at first and demanded him to serve me. He
refused, and when he did, he was able to show me that life is not a
game to play around with. My behavior with him was disgusting and
shameful, and thinking about it is so humiliating."

She paused to take in a deep breath, "Daddy,
I know you don't understand, but I felt alive for the first time in
my life when I was forced to take care of myself and work for
everything I needed to survive. I felt useful every time I caught a
fish, picked up coconuts, or kept the fire burning. And when
Griffon sliced up his foot, he needed
me
. No one has ever
needed me before."

"I needed you," the man said quietly.

"No, Daddy. You wanted me. I was nothing but
another commodity for you to purchase. When you lost that ability
to buy me, it left you feeling powerless, didn't it?"

Brockton remained silent as his daughter
walked calmly to the window to look out at the Great Barrier Reef.
She stroked the curtains as she stared out over the beautiful
scene. "All my life you have given me things to make my life
easier. I learned to expect them, without gratitude or
understanding of what they represented. I'm sorry."

"I don't understand this change of heart. Are
you ill?" the man asked hesitantly.

Jade turned, her green eyes mournful against
the golden-tanned face. A single tear tracked down her dirty cheek.
"Yes, Daddy. I'm dying inside, and I don't know how to make it
stop."

Mr. Brockton hesitated. "It's Badger, isn't
it?"

"Yes. But the feeling is only one way. He
does not love me the way I have grown to love him. Like the changes
in the weather, it is something that I have to accept and learn to
deal with. I need a positive distraction. I was wondering if you
would want to go to a survival camp with me."

"Me? At a survival camp?" her father looked
incredulously into her face.

Jade smiled, "Yeah. No toilets, showers,
refrigerators, or cell phones. Lots of bugs, noise, and dirt. You
might hate it, but I think it would help you appreciate the
privileges we have. It's an olive branch, Dad. I can't give you
anything more than this."