Nameless Series Boxed Set (49 page)

Mackenzie sat
with her legs spread apart, the bunny on the floor just in front of her. Her
round cheeks were bright red now, and she was clearly delighted by whatever
this new development was. She raised her hands up dramatically and started
thrusting her elbows down to her sides in choppy excitement, repeating, “Da!
Da! Da!”

Erin felt a
surge of regret that Seth wasn’t around to witness this, and she turned
unconsciously to look at the hallway.

Seth stood at
the entrance to the living room, staring down at his daughter.

His mouth was
slightly open, his eyes were rather dazed, and his phone dangled forgotten in
his left hand.

Erin felt a
rising wash of joy. “There’s your daddy!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands one
more time.

Mackenzie
clapped her hands too, mimicking her mother’s excitement. “Da!”

Erin waited for
Seth to do something, but he just stood motionless and stared.

So she
prompted, “Seth?” She could tell that Seth was moved—whether Mackenzie really
knew what she was saying or not—but he looked like he was momentarily frozen.

Finally,
shaking himself off, Seth came forward into the living room. Knelt down beside Erin.
“Good job,” he murmured softly, reaching out a hand to his daughter. “Did you
decide to take advantage of my absence to show off a little?”

Mackenzie was
still ecstatic and hit at Seth’s hand several times with an overload of
enthusiasm before she grabbed a couple of his fingers and clung to them.

Fortunately, this
interlude allowed Erin to recover her ironic perspective. “I think it was her
way of protesting work phone calls in the middle of her daddy time.”

Seth turned his
head and gave Erin a warm look.  “Is that right?”

“Yes. That’s
right. I'm sure she was just proving to you the kinds of things you might
miss.”

He arched his
eyebrows at her and looked like he was going to respond, but then he sniffed
and obviously changed his focus. “It smells like she might have been doing
something else while I was gone as well.”

Erin sniffed
too. Smelled something very familiar. “Well, then, I guess it’s your chance to
have some bonding time with her—while you change her diaper.”

Mackenzie,
obviously resenting the fact that she was no longer the center of attention,
was banging a hard staccato on her innocent bunny’s nose and grunting. One of
the grunts sounded like another, “Da!”

“See,” Erin
said, hiding a pleased grin. “She’s asking for
you
to change her.”

Shaking his
head resignedly, Seth picked his daughter up and carried her into the nursery.

Erin sat on the
floor for a minute, exulting in her daughter’s verbal genius and in the fact
that Seth had been here to share in it too.

Then she jumped
to her feet, picked up the blanket and stuffed bunny, and hurried toward the nursery
herself.

Instead of
announcing her presence, however, she stood in the doorway and listened—even
after all this time, unable to resist trying to overhear what Seth might say to
their daughter.

He was wiping Mackenzie's
little bottom with a baby wipe and telling her softly, “…very impressive
performance. You have every right to be proud of yourself. And you made your
mommy very happy.” He grabbed another wipe and finished cleaning her off. “But
I think it would make her even happier if you would say her name too. Mommy.” He
spoke clearly and calmly—without even a trace of normal baby talk. “Mommy.”

Mackenzie just
giggled up at him and kicked her legs around a little.

Seth shook his
head. “Mommy,” he repeated. “Your mommy.”

“Da!” Mackenzie
burst out.

Chuckling
resignedly, Seth nodded his head. “That’s better than nothing. We’ll keep
working on it.”

He started
putting a new diaper on the baby. Erin couldn’t see his face or the front of
his body, but she assumed Mackenzie must have grabbed for his tie, because he
said, “There are far more effective ways of getting my attention than trying to
strangle me.”

Erin crossed
her arms across her chest and squeezed herself a little, smiling and wondering
if she might melt away from the raw tenderness of it.

“You know,” Seth
continued, snapping up Mackenzie’s sleeper and then holding her up to stand on
the changing table, “Your mommy is a remarkable woman, and she loves you very
much. But she’s really very nosy, and she should know that eavesdropping on
private conversations isn’t socially acceptable.”

Erin’s jaw
dropped open as she realized she’d been caught.

Acknowledging her
guilt, she burst into rippling laughter. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

Picking Mackenzie
up and holding her against him, Seth turned around and raised his eyebrows at Erin.
“And what exactly about my changing her diaper is so irresistible?”

Erin shrugged,
a little self-consciously. She took a few steps over toward them. Felt so deeply
connected to this articulate man and the squirming red-haired baby he held that
she felt like she could drown in the feeling.

She gave Mackenzie
a kiss on the cheek. Then she gave Seth a kiss on the lips. “I don’t know. I
just feel like I get to see a different side to you when you’re with her
alone.”

The eyebrows
went up even higher. “And why is that so appealing?”

“I guess it’s
just more of you to love.”

***

Erin warmed up leftover pot
roast and the accompanying vegetables for Seth, and he ate in the kitchen while
Erin finished the dishes and straightened up. Then he needed to conclude the
call he’d been making earlier—since he’d ended it prematurely and rather
abruptly—so Erin lit a couple of fragrant candles and took a bath.

The length of
time between Mackenzie's bedtime and her own bedtime was basically the only time
of the day Erin was able to have some real, quiet relaxation.

She was getting
tired when she finally came back into the bedroom, wearing blue satin pajama
pants and a stretchy matching tank top. Her hair was still clipped at the back
of her head, and she carried a load of clean sheets which she’d just taken from
the dryer.

Seth was off the
phone and was propped up on a couple of pillows on the bed, reading what looked
to be a very long legal document of some kind. He’d taken off his shoes, socks,
jacket, and tie, but otherwise he was still fully dressed.

“Are you still
working?” she grumbled, when she saw what he was doing.

Seth didn’t
even look up from his reading. “You were taking a bath.”

“Well, I’m not
anymore.” Erin set the laundry basket on the floor and then sat down on Seth’s
side of the bed with a flop. “You work too hard.”

“Work has to be
done.” He turned a page and shifted his legs away from her slightly, since
she’d basically just sat down on top of them.

Erin watched
him silently for a moment. Then started rubbing one of his shins over the
expensive fabric of his trousers. “Does it really have to be done right now?”
she asked huskily.

Either her
touch or the tone of her voice made Seth look up. His eyes skimmed down over
her bare arms and clearly outlined breasts. He put the report he’d been reading
on the nightstand. “No,” he replied, his voice warming in a predictable way. “I
suppose it doesn’t have to be done now. Did you want me to follow through on my
IOU from this afternoon?”

Erin hesitated.
Then shrugged a little. “I don’t know. Maybe not this evening. I’m not sure I
have the energy. Or something.”

He arched one
eyebrow. “All you’d have to do is lie there. I was planning to do all of the
work.”

“True. But
maybe we can save it until later. I’m not really in that kind of a mood this
evening.”

Seth was
evidently starting to realize that they weren’t going to jump right into sex. “Did
you want to talk about something?” He sounded a little wary, as if he weren't
certain he'd enjoy the conversation.

Erin shifted
and ran her hands down to his feet. Idly stroked the arch of his foot and
watched as his toes curled down instinctively. “I don’t think so. Nothing in
particular. I just feel...weird. Kind of restless or something. I felt that way
at lunch, but then I was all right. But now it’s back. I’m not quite sure what
it is.”

“You look like
there’s something on your mind.” His eyes were sharp and observant as they
studied her face. “Are you sure something isn’t wrong?” He stretched out his
legs as she continued rubbing his calves.

She didn’t
respond. Just focused down on his bare feet. Tried to get a handle on her mood
so she could express exactly what it was she felt like doing.

“Erin? Is
something wrong?” When she glanced up at his face, he pulled his feet away from
her and held her gaze. “Have you changed your mind about...us?”

This finally
prompted a reaction with her. “No! Of course not. What kind of stupid talk is
that?”

Seth narrowed
his eyes, looking cool and slightly aloof. “It was just a question. You seemed reluctant
to talk about something. It’s a perfectly legitimate possibility.”

“It certainly
is not legitimate. Why the hell would you think I’ve changed my mind about us? Think
about this afternoon.”

With a
skeptical expression, Seth replied, “I know. But there could be alternate
explanations for your generosity in my office. No need to overreact. It was
just a question.”

“Well, it’s not
a good kind of question. It makes me think you’re doubting my feelings for you,
if you believe I’d already be dumping you.”

“I don’t think
you’re dumping me.” He was starting to look a little impatient. “I just asked a
question, based on one possible scenario, which was prompted by your current
behavior.”

“It’s
not
a possible scenario. I have no intentions of dumping you. Ever.” She stood up
and went to grab the fitted sheet out of the laundry basket. Turned around and
glared at him.

For a brilliant
man, sometimes he was the biggest idiot she'd ever met.

Seth glared
back at her, more cold than annoyed. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

He didn’t sound
glad. He sounded hard and arrogant, and like he wouldn't lower himself to her
level by actually getting angry.

Erin hated when
he was in this mood. It always made her want to slap the icy hauteur off his
face.

She didn’t, of
course. Instead, she said curtly, “Get up. I need to change the sheets.”

Seth rolled his
eyes and acted like she was making him move just to spite him, but he pulled
himself to his feet—as if it had been a huge effort—and then started pulling
the comforter off, dropping it in a heap on the floor.

Erin walked to
the other side of the bed and flung out one side of the sheet toward him. When
he grabbed it, smoothed it out, and started pulling it toward the upper corner
of the mattress, Erin worked on her side and muttered, “I might as well ask
you
if you’re starting to change your mind about us.”

Seth slanted
her an exasperated look.

“What?” she
demanded, yanking on the last corner of the sheet ruthlessly before she fitted
it smoothly over the mattress.

“That would be
the most absurd kind of question.”

Huffing at the
injustice of this remark, Erin grabbed the top sheet. “Why? Why would it be so
much more absurd than your question to me? Just because you figured things out
a little bit sooner than I did?” She shook the sheet out over the bed. Saw Seth
catch the opposite side of it.

He watched her
beneath heavy eyelids. His gray dress shirt was slightly rumpled, and he
appeared wholly incongruous, holding one side of a sheet in his hands. “You
know very well how I feel about you.”

“And you know
how
I
feel about you.” She focused on smoothing the sheet over the
mattress and then tucking in the bottom corner.

Neatly taking
care of his corner, Seth glanced up at her. “I know what you told me, but you
told me then that you weren’t sure about things and didn’t want any sort of
commitment, and you haven’t yet said anything different—”

Erin snorted
again, interrupting him in her outrage. “You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re
complaining because
I
don’t express my feelings enough? So says the man
who has never once said he loves me.”

“I certainly
have told you that.”

“No. You
haven’t. Maybe you
think
you have, but I’m telling you that you haven’t.
Not once.  It was always just implied. So you have no grounds to complain that
I haven’t told you
anything
.”

“Surely you
don’t expect me to keep pouring out how I feel, when you’ve told me over and
over that my feelings aren’t returned.” When she started to object, he added,
“At least not at the same level.” He shook one pillow out of its case and
started putting the clean pillowcase on in its place.

“Of course
not,” Erin groaned, picking up a pillow of her own. “I’m not asking you to
write sonnets on your love for me or even
say
you love me, if you don’t
want. But I’ve told you from the beginning exactly how I feel about you—no
matter how confused or irrational it might have been. And that’s
not
something you’ve been willing to do for me.”

Seth tossed the
pillow onto the head of the bed. “You know how I feel for you. I
show
you
all the time. You know how I feel, and I’d certainly let you know if anything
has changed.”

Erin threw her
pillow—with a clean case—onto the bed as well. “And that’s supposed to be good
enough? You’ve told me that from the very beginning. You said you’d tell me if
anything changed about your feelings on our arrangement. Well, you didn't tell
me. And the next thing I knew you wanted to ride off into the sunset with me,
as soon as our daughter was born. How the hell was I supposed to know that?”