Nameless: The Darkness Comes (10 page)

Chapter Eighteen

I had no desire to go home and see if it was still Demonic Central so I slept on the bench.
Of course I was cold and cranky and stiff when I woke up. Not to mention I had dreams about demons and daylilies. I was a little more bitter than usual this morning.

Mouth had given me something to think about, I guess.
He was a demon and demons were bad. But he seemed good. Ish. If he could just get over his hatred for Reed Taylor, that is.

The first stop was the hospital.
The nurse smiled when she saw me.

“Hello.
And who are you here to visit this morning?”

Obviously she hadn’t heard anything about me.
I gave her my cheeriest grin. “Why, hello, my wonderful and helpful health care provider. I’m here to visit my brother Seth Masterson. How is the sweet boy doing today?”

Her eyes flickered.
“Seth. So you’re his sister, then.”

Ah, she
had
heard of me.

They directed me to Seth’s new room.
He was staring at the ceiling when I walked in.

“Hey.”

His eyes floated my way. “Hi, Luna.”

“Now
, you be nice,” said the nurse, and she left us. I sighed and threw myself into the uncomfortable chair by the bed.

“So how are you feeling?”

His lips barely moved when he talked. “Better.”

I looked at him.
His face was gray and his eyes were lifeless. Maybe this was
better
compared to being unconscious, but it really couldn’t be better than much else.

“So tell me what happened.”
I tried to keep my voice as even and unaccusing as I could. I felt I had done a pretty decent job.

Seth turned his face away from me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Well.
Unaccusing be hung.

“You don’t want to talk about it?
You almost kill yourself, leaving Lydia to Sparkles, and you don’t want to talk about it? Well, I have news for you, big brother. You
have
to talk about it. I can make you! Oh, yes I can, and you know it.” I glared at him with what I assumed was my most regal pose. “My will is much stronger than yours.”

Silence.
And then a strange sound. He wiped at tears in his eyes.

“Oh, Seth,
please don’t cry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—“

He
snerked. “I’m not crying, you idiot. I’m laughing.”

I peered closer.
He was right. I felt my mouth tighten.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded.
He laughed harder.

“I’m not sure,” he said, and then he fell helpless, laughing and shaking and sending the little beepers on his machine completely haywire.

“Shh, you’re going to get me into trouble,” I said. “Nurse Prissy Pants might be my biggest fear about now.”

He laughed for a minute longer, eyes closed, tears streaming.
Then he slowly got himself under control. My brother was a mess of hiccups and sniffles. I turned away, resolute in my dignity.

“Luna?”

I didn’t want to grace him with an acknowledgement, but then I thought of yesterday. His pale face half in the water. The terror I felt when I thought he was gone forever.

“What
?”

He rubbed his eyes with a thumb and forefinger.
“Thank you. I had almost forgotten what laughing felt like.”

I moved from the chair and sat on his bed.
“Seth, this all happened so fast. I never expected this from you. Not in a million years. You really floored me. I don’t even know what to say.”

He sighed.
“It all feels like it was a very long time ago. Has it only been a day? It feels like it’s been an eternity.”

“I found you yesterday.”

He looked into my eyes, and I was embarrassed by the emotion I saw there. “Luna, I am so sorry. I’ve been thinking about it all night. What it must have been like to find me. Like when I found Dad. I thought of how Lydia would feel, knowing I did what I did. Feeling like she wasn’t good enough to live for.”

His eyes were tearing up again, and this time it wasn’t in hysterical laughter.
I took his cold hand in mine.

“
Never do something like that again. That goes without saying. I want to tell you Lydia would have made it through, because we made it through, but you know how it would have been. Seth, you
know.
Why would you have even thought of suicide, even for a second? How could you do that to her?”

He shook his head.
“That’s the thing. I have no idea.” I growled and pulled my hand away, but Seth grabbed it in both of his. “I’m serious, Luna. You know how I feel about Dad. How I was angry at him for giving up and leaving us all alone. Feeling guilty, feeling we should have done something, been more. But last night, I just felt…different. I felt like I was doing her a favor, almost. I know,” he said, when I started getting upset again. “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how it felt. Besides, after Sparkles came over—”

“
To our house?” Suddenly my antenna was up. Seriously, talking to Sparkles could make anybody want to die. But this was more sinister than that, and I knew it.

Seth took a deep breath.
“Yes. Sparkles came over to the house yesterday. She said she wanted to discuss the arrangement with Lydia. And before you interrupt,” he said, just as I was about to interrupt, “I told her there had been no arrangement with Lydia. She had bailed out on all of us. I actually gave her a pretty good piece of my mind,” he said smugly. “You would have been proud of me.”

“Good.
And then?” I was getting nervous. The feel of the house. The demons huddled inside like Russian nesting dolls.

“She said she was sorry.
She said she had needed time to think, and she realized she really missed me and Lydia.”

I snorted derisively.
This time it was his turn to yank his hand away.

“Luna, whether you like her or not, she is Lydia’s mother.
What was I supposed to do?”

I had a few suggestions, but this wasn’t the time for them.
“And then what did you do?”
Please don’t say you invited her inside,
I thought. My stomach felt like I had swallowed a block of ice.

“Lydia was just waking up from her nap. She was calling from the crib.
So I asked Sparkles if she wanted to come up and see her.”

That was it. That explained everything.

“So you invited her inside.”

“Yes.”

And
her demon. And effectively broke the seal. And then everything blew apart.

Seth covered his face with his hand.
“She saw Lydia. Sparkles seemed delighted, but Lydia started to scream. I picked her up, and then everything became confusing. Sparkles was telling Lydia she was back, that she was here now, and Lydia was going nuts. I started to tell Sparkles to leave, but suddenly I saw how it looked. Here I am, a single man with a dead end job. I don’t know how to raise a little girl. I’m looking up Youtube videos to learn how to do her hair. I’m living with my crazy sister who is nice enough, but definitely has her issues. What do I have to offer? What do you?”

The ice I had eaten had grown spines.
I licked my lips, but it didn’t help to moisten them. “You thought that Lydia was better with her mother.”

Seth laughed, and t
he sound made me wince. “I did. It seemed to make so much sense at the time. I handed Lydia to her. I handed over her pink star blanket. I kissed Lydia on the forehead and told her I loved her very much. And then I filled the bathtub.”

I didn’t need to hear the rest.
I had seen the end result.

“How do you feel now?”
I was afraid to ask, but I needed to know. I needed to get a feel for how much internal damage had been done.

Seth stared at the ceiling again.
“I feel…tired. And stupid. I can’t believe myself because that isn’t something I would ever plan to do. But I can’t deny it made perfect sense then. If I was right back there, I might make the exact same decision again. It felt so obvious.” He looked at me. His eyes broke my heart. They shone with so much pain and torment that I felt my soul twist. “Why is that, Luna? Why would I do that?”

“Do you really want to know?”

He sighed. Hesitated. Then he said, “I don’t know. Do I?”

I took his hand again.
“Seth, listen to me. Sparkles has a demon attached to her. Or perhaps she’s attached to it; I’m not really sure at this point. But either way, they’re together. Sparkles was mean to begin with, but now she is crueler and has a depth that would have seemed impossible before.”

“Luna,” Seth said.
His voice had that familiar warning note. It almost made me smile.

“
You said yourself that it seemed like the right thing to do, even though it obviously wasn’t. It goes against everything you believe in, and still, you tried to kill yourself. Kill yourself. We’re not talking about doing something little that is slightly naughty. We’re talking about the big Kahuna. Death. Forever and ever.”

“I get the picture
.”

“And
ever.
Got it?”

“Got it.”

“But wait, there’s more.”

“Oh goody.”

“I had done that little spell. Seal. Thing, whatever it was called, that kept the demons out, right?”

“Supposing you’re not crazy
.”

“Yeah, suppose.”

“Then yeah, I remember.”

I grinn
ed at him. What a good brother. “Well, it kept everything demonic out. Until the seal was broken.”

He played along.
“All right. So how was the seal broken?”

“You invited Sparkles inside.”

He didn’t say anything. I hurried on.

“When I went over later with Reed Taylor and
that mouthy demon, the house was absolutely full—“

He interrupted me.
“You’re saying you honestly, truly, one hundred percent believe my soon-to-be ex-wife is possessed by a demon?”

“I do.”

“A really bad demon. A demon I invited into the house, which effectively broke the protection on the house that my kid sister had put on it.”

“Right.”

“And then the demon did something so I felt bad about myself…” He looked at me for help. I was happy to step in and tell him what I know.

“You invited them in, and left the house and yourself wide open.
You were too strong for the demon to possess straight out, or else you wouldn’t remember a thing. And you wouldn’t have nearly died, you would have totally died. Demons can be quite thorough, you know.”

“Undoubtedly.”

“But she had enough influence that she could suggest things for you to do. Suggest your unworthiness and…what?” I caught the look in his eyes. It wasn’t pretty.

“Why would she have this influence?
I’m like, super weak or something? My mind isn’t strong enough to keep the demon out?”

Dad again.
Losing his mind. Again. Seth’s worst fear kept popping up in his face over and over and over. Now that I had his attention it was time to set the record straight.

“
It doesn’t have anything to do with your mind. Not really. Mind and willpower are just kind of, I don’t know. They help, I guess, but not much more than that. It’s all about heart. Spirit and feelings. And no matter how awful Sparkles was, she was still your wife, and Lydia’s mom. She knows your weaknesses, and your weakness is your daughter.”

“She used Lydia to make me feel like a total loser?”

“Well, wouldn’t you say so?”

He struggled to sit up in the hospital bed.
I wanted to help him, but I leaned back and watched him do it by himself. When he finally sat upright, his hair was damp with sweat and his face glistened, but the anger and triumph on his face made my heart sing.

“Screw that wo
man. She’s not allowed to have that type of power over me again.”

He was so full of confidence and verve that he shone. It was almost more than I dared hope.

“Do you…do you actually believe me? About the demons?”

Seth’s eyes locked into mine.
“I spent my whole life trying to explain everything away. The nightmares you had as a little kid. Dad talking to ghosts, and trying to convince us they were real. You were all ‘demons, demons, demons’ and it was…it hurt my heart, you know? To think you were experiencing the same symptoms as Dad. I tried so hard to be so normal. Afraid insanity was contagious. Maybe a little jealous that it wasn’t, because then at least I’d feel like a real part of the family. But the way that I felt in there? Handing Lydia over to a woman who never cared about her, not in the least? Lydia was screaming, Luna. You should have heard her scream. Like her heart was being torn out, and I just hand her over like a good little ex-husband, leave the room and try to die? I don’t think so. It’s not happening. I don’t know how to explain it, except to say something happened there. If you say it’s a demon, then, sure, whatever, it’s a demon. I’ve been afraid for too long, and what did it do? It lost me my daughter.”