Nantucket (9 page)

C
adie could hardly believe her eyes when Liam turned around. He ran his long, tan fingers through his sun-streaked chestnut brown hair and she realized that the years had been kind to him—although his shoulders were broader and there were wisps of gray hair around his ears, his faded jeans still hung casually off his slender hips the way they had that summer, and his ocean blue eyes still sparkled with light.

“It's
so
good to see you,” she said.

Liam swallowed, his heart racing—he'd been waiting his whole life for this moment, and now that it was here, he didn't know what to say. Cadie wasn't the same youthful girl he'd so carefully preserved in his mind—in fact, he almost hadn't recognized her. She looked older—tired and thin—and her hair was darker.

“Are you always so talkative?” she teased, and Liam smiled, remembering the first time she'd asked him that question.

“It's . . . it's good to see you too,” he stammered.

“I wondered if you'd come.”

“I saw an ad in the paper and the artist's name caught my eye. Is he a relative?”

Cadie nodded. “He's my . . .” Just then, a little towheaded boy who looked to be around six or seven barreled into her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“He's my son,” she said. “I actually have
two
sons,” she added. “This is Aidan.”

The little boy studied Liam with eyes that were the same stunning Caribbean blue as his mother's and then hid behind her.

“He looks like you,” Liam said with a smile.

Cadie nodded, putting her arm around him.

“Are you still in New York?”

“No, I'm renting an apartment in Boston.”

Liam frowned. “No townhouse?”

She shook her head. “Liam, I . . .” she began, but then stopped. “Are you in a hurry?

“No,” Liam said, his heart pounding.

“Aid, why don't you go find Levi,” she whispered, and the little boy nodded and ran to his brother's side.

Feeling a small hand slip into his, Levi looked up, saw his mom standing with Liam, and nodded.

“Let's go outside,” Cadie suggested.

Liam followed her out the door he'd just come in and waited for her to continue.

“I don't even know where to begin. . . .” she said with a sad smile.

Suddenly, their past washed over Liam like a tidal wave. “Cadie . . . I tried to find you. I went to New York. I looked everywhere.”

“My father,” she said. “He made it so you
couldn't
find me. He told me you used me. He said you didn't love me.”

“That's not true,” Liam said.

“At first, I didn't believe him, but as time went on, and I didn't hear from you, I started to believe him.”

“He lied.” Liam said, his voice choked with emotion. “I didn't know how to reach you. I didn't know where you lived or where to write. I checked the mail every day, though, hoping to hear from you.”

“I couldn't write. My life was a mess.”

“You couldn't find time to write a quick note?” he asked, incredulously.

“I was pregnant and my father made me marry a boy I didn't love. He said if I didn't marry him, I'd have to give up our baby.”

Liam shook his head—he'd heard enough. Obviously, she'd gotten over him more easily than he'd gotten over her. “You don't need to explain.”

“I
do
need to explain because . . .” She bit her lip, fighting back tears. “Because the child I was carrying was
ours.
”

Liam stared at her in disbelief, trying to wrap his mind around what she was saying; then he looked at the young man standing near the paintings—so poised and soft-spoken.

“Don't you see?” Cadie asked. “He looks just like you . . . and he has your quiet, easy ways.”

Liam searched her eyes. “Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you think this was something I would want to know?”

“With all my heart I wanted to tell you, but I was young and scared and my father controlled my life. He said if I tried to contact you, he'd disinherit me. I wasn't strong enough to break free. My marriage was failing. I had no money, no income—my father paid for everything—our home, Levi's education.
Everything.
As the years went by, it became harder to tell you because so much time had passed . . . and because my father had convinced me you didn't loved me.”

“What's different
now?
” Liam asked, his voice edged with anger and confusion.

“Now, I owe it to you and I owe it to Levi. He's on his own,” she said, “and although I have Aidan, I can't live that way anymore. My whole life has been a lie. And now, I have ca—I mean, I'm . . .” she stopped. “Liam, a day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. All these years, if it wasn't for Levi, I don't know what I would've done. Having him was like having part of you with me.”

“Does he know?” Liam asked.

She nodded. “He started asking questions years ago. I had to tell him. He wanted to come out here then and find you, but I put him off. Liam, he never stopped asking. I think that's why he pursued this show . . . so I'd finally
have
to come.”

Liam looked up and saw Levi walking toward them. He had a huge smile spreading across his handsome face, and Liam shook his head in disbelief.... He had a son!

—Isaiah 43:2

L
iam was still in a state of shock as he and Cadie walked along the water. “When do you have to be back?”

“Tomorrow—I have an appointment.”

“Are the boys going with you?”

“Yes,” Cadie said, swinging Aidan's hand. “Levi helps out with Aidan. I honestly don't know how I'd manage without him. Aidan's father has been out of the picture since before he was born, and even though Levi was away at R.I.S.D. the first few years, he always helped out when he was home . . . and now, well, I need him more than ever. It's not fair, though, because he has his own life.”

“Do you think they'd like to stay here while you go to your appointment? You could come back after.”

Cadie hesitated. “What about Cooper?”

Liam took a deep breath. “Coop died two years ago.”

“Oh, Liam, I'm so sorry,” she said. “What happened?”

“He had a heart attack. We were closing up and he asked me to run an errand on my way home—which I did, so I thought he'd beat me home, but then he never came home. At first, I wasn't worried—it wasn't unusual for a customer to stop by at the end of the day, get talking, and lose track of time—but when it started to get dark and he still wasn't home, I went back to look for him. I found him on the boathouse floor in the dark. I think it must've happened right after I left.”

“That's awful,” Cadie said, putting her hand on his arm, and he felt her touch go right through him.

He shook his head. “I know he lived life on his own terms—doing what he loved, and even though he struggled with his memories of Vietnam, and never stopped being
on watch,
he had a good life. In the end, it was the hard living . . . and never going to the doctor that did him in.”

“Well, it was good that he had you in his life. He would've had a lonely life if you hadn't come along.”

“I guess,” Liam agreed. “I never thought about it that way.”

“It must've been part of God's plan—bringing you into his life. God's always making plans we humans have trouble understanding,” she said with a smile.

“That's for sure,” Liam said with a laugh. “I don't think I'll ever understand the plan He has for me. Every day, I try to find some meaning in the things that have happened, but so far, it's just been one loss after another . . . and for no reason I can fathom.”

“That's not true,” Cadie said with a smile. “You gained something today.”

“You're right,” he said with a nod, “
and
I still can't believe it,” he added softly. Then he looked over at Cadie. “Tell me everything.”

She raised her eyebrows.
“Everything?”
she asked.

“Everything.”

“That would take all night.”

“I
have
all night,” he said with a smile.

“Where should I start?”

“At the beginning—when you realized you were pregnant.”

Cadie squeezed her eyes shut and laughed. “That is
not
a fun memory,” she began, “but, okay. Well, I'm sure you remember how angry my father was—especially that night.”

Liam nodded, remembering how Carlton Knox had loomed over them when they'd gotten back to the boathouse.

“Well, it didn't get any better. We left Nantucket the next morning . . . on the earliest ferry. My father wasn't taking any chances. Unfortunately, it was already too late.”

“Damn, I wish I could've been there!”

“No, you don't,” Cadie said, eyeing him. “By the end of August, I was praying for a red spot on my underwear every time I pulled them down . . . but I always ended up staring at snow white cotton fabric in disbelief and thinking
this
cannot
be happening.
And then I started getting sick—and it wasn't just a queasy stomach . . . and it wasn't only in the morning—I couldn't keep
anything
down . . . ever! At this point, my mother began to get suspicious and insisted I go to the doctor—
her
doctor.” Cadie looked over at Liam. “And sure enough—I was knocked up,” she said with a half smile. “It's funny, I'm able to laugh about it now, but back then, I was panic-stricken.”

Liam shook his head regretfully. “How come we didn't use birth control?”

“Because we were young and foolish and didn't think anything would happen. Anyway, this was before the HIPAA law, so my mother's doctor was on the phone with
her
before I even knew. My parents were livid—this was uncharted territory for them, especially since they were, and still are, devout Catholics. Needless to say, abortion was out of the question, and the two alternatives were adoption or marriage.

“At the time, my father's ‘dream' son-in-law was Taylor Walsh—a boy whose reputation would've put Warren Beatty to shame . . . and every other girl's father seemed to know it except mine. He thought Taylor—a Yale law student who came from old money—was a perfect match, and somehow he struck a deal with Taylor's father. Unfortunately—
and
unbelievably—it included a prenup. The rest is history. Literally.”

“How long did it last?”

“On paper, twenty years, but we were separated for most of it—which was fine with me. Taylor was a playboy.”

“Maybe I'm naïve,” Liam said, shaking his head, “but I don't get why men who have everything in a marriage still cheat.”

Cadie shook her head. “I don't either, but in fairness to Taylor, he didn't have everything. It was an arranged marriage and we both knew it. I didn't love him.”

“Maybe so, but if he tried harder, you might've.”

Cadie shook her head and looked into Liam's eyes. “Not when I was in love with someone else.”

Liam realized what she was saying. “I never stopped loving you,” he said, reaching for her hand.

“I never stopped loving
you
either,” she said, her eyes filling with tears.

“I
have to stop at the store,” Liam said as Cadie came down the path from the Nantucket Inn after checking out. “I'm a little low on food,” he explained, taking her luggage and setting it in the back of the truck.

“Are you sure you want us to stay over?” she asked.

“Yes, why pay for a hotel when you can stay at a five-star beach cottage for free?”

“I don't know. Because it's an imposition?”

“It's not an imposition,” he assured her. “Besides, Levi and I have a lot of catching up to do.” He looked over and smiled. “And so do we.”

“Devon said he'd drop Levi off after they do a little celebrating.”

“Did you want to go with them?”

“No,” she said with a tired smile.

“Well, I can drop you off at the house if you want to take a nap, and Aidan and I can run my errands.”

“No, no,” she said, waving him off. “I'm too tired to
celebrate,
but not to stop at the store.”

“That makes sense,” he teased. “I hope you don't mind the mess or the welcoming committee.”

Aidan, who was sitting between them in the truck, looked puzzled. “Who's the welcoming committee?”

“The welcoming committee is Tucket, my golden retriever, and Moby, my old gray cat.”

“You have a dog
and
a cat?!” Aidan asked, wide-eyed.

“Yep,” Liam said with a nod. “Moby is a little aloof, but Tucket will be absolutely beside himself.”

Aidan frowned. “What's aloof and how will Tucket be
beside
himself?”

Liam looked down. “Aloof is how Moby acts when he's pretending he doesn't notice me . . . and being ‘beside yourself' is just a saying—it means he'll be very excited to meet you.”

“Well, I'll be beside myself too,” Aidan said, looking up at his mom with a grin.

Cadie laughed. Both of her boys had always wanted a dog, but she'd told them that their lives were too busy and it wouldn't be fair to the dog. The truth was her father hated dogs and he'd never pay for the expenses one would incur.

Liam pulled into the Stop & Shop parking lot. “Coming in?”

“Sure,” Cadie said. “Do they have coffee?”

“I think so,” Liam said, rounding up a cart.

“Do you want one?” she asked.

“No, thanks,” he said, pulling his list out of his wallet and studying it. Beer was still first, but now he needed a bit more—something for supper
and
breakfast, so while Cadie headed off to find the coffee, he and Aidan wheeled through the produce.

“Do you like blueberry pancakes?” Liam asked.

Aidan nodded happily, deciding this trip was definitely taking a turn for the better.

“Salad?”

He shrugged.

“Hamburgers and hot dogs?”

He nodded and smiled.

“Cat food?”

“Nooo.”

“How 'bout s'mores?”

“What's a
sumore?
” he asked with a frown.

Liam stopped the cart and looked at Aidan as if he had two heads. “You've never had a s'more?!”

Aidan giggled and shook his head.

“Where's your mother? We need to talk!”

Aidan swung around, looking for Cadie, but she hadn't caught up with them yet.

When she finally did, they were in the beer aisle and she was happily sipping her coffee. “Mmm, this hits the spot.”

Liam eyed her. “You have failed as a mother,” he said dramatically.

Cadie looked alarmed. “I'm sure you're right, but what happened since I went to find coffee?”

Liam nodded to Aidan, who, with his arms full of marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, smiled brightly. “I've never had a s'more.”

“Oh!” Cadie said with a laugh. “A minor infraction. I'm sure I've done worse.”

Liam looked up. “Does Levi like beer?”

“Doesn't every college kid?”

“I don't know—I never went to college.”

“I thought you were going to go to Boston College or Boston University.”

“I enlisted instead.”

“You did?!” Cadie said, frowning and trying to remember the state of the world back then. “Did you see combat?”

“Desert Storm.”

“Were you okay?”

“I was hit in the knee and the head,” he said, rubbing his temple, “but I survived. Did you go to college?”

She shook her head. “It's funny neither of us went when that was one of the first things we talked about.”

Liam looked back at the beer case. “Do you know what he likes?”

“I'm sure he'll drink whatever you have.”

Liam plunked a case of Whale's Tale heavily into the cart and then looked down at Aidan. “Should we get ice cream?”

“Yes!” Aidan said with a grin.

“What flavor?”

“Strawberry.”

“A man after my own heart,” Liam said, tousling his hair.

Ten minutes later, they pulled into the driveway and Tuck trotted over to the truck with his tail wagging, but when he realized there was someone in the truck besides Liam, his enthusiasm tripled, and when Aidan climbed down, he wiggled all around him, licking his cheeks and almost knocking him over. Aidan grinned and put his hands on Tuck's head. “Hey, boy,” he said softly, as if he'd owned a dog all his life.

“Oh, my goodness,” Cadie exclaimed, “he's so handsome!” And Tuck obliged by giving her a wet, sloppy kiss too. “How old is he?”

“Six.”

“He's the same age as me!” Aidan exclaimed in happy surprise.

Liam nodded. “Coop brought him home when he was just eight weeks old. One of his customers had a litter, and Tuck was the only one left. No one wanted him because he was the smallest, but as you can see, he's filled out.”

“How could no one want
you?
” Cadie said, holding Tuck's big head in her hands and looking into his soulful brown eyes.

Liam nodded. “Coop was his true love—I was just second fiddle, but when Coop died, we got pretty close—we helped each other through it. I don't know who was sadder.”

“He must have been part of the plan for
your
life,” Cadie said with a smile as she looked up at the weathered gray cottage, trimmed with white and surrounded by beds of pink beach roses, purple and blue hydrangeas, scarlet bee balm, and golden black-eyed Susans. “It's beautiful here!”

Liam smiled as he lifted out their bags, and Aidan ran to the edge of the yard with Tuck at his heels. “Mom, come see the ocean!”