Read Nashville by Heart: A Novel Online
Authors: Tina Ann Forkner
“OK,
I admit I was naïve to ever tell you not to mention my dad in Nashville. I
realize that now. Being back in Gold Creek Gap has given me a lot of time to
think. Especially about what you said about my needing to grow up.”
He
felt punched. “I’m sorry about that, Gillian. I didn’t mean it. I was
frustrated that day.”
He
gazed at her profile. She was staring up at the sky now, stars glistening in
her eyes. She was a beautiful woman, and she didn’t need to grow up at all.
“No,
I’m glad you said it,” she said. “It made me realize I did need to grow up a
little. I’ve always been so dependent on Momma, even though she tells me to do
things for myself. I’ve just always needed her, you know? Since I didn’t have
my dad, she became my whole world, but I need to believe I can do some things
myself too. I do need to grow up.”
“There’s
nothing wrong with how close you are to Louise,” he said. “Heck, seeing how you
treat her makes me a better man. I’ve called my own mom more since I met you
than I have in the last year, because you make me realize how important my own
parents are.”
“I
do?” she asked.
“Of
course you do. And as for growing up, you left Gold Creek Gap and went all the
way to Nashville by yourself. That’s a pretty grown up thing to do. It’s what I
did, you know. It’s what grew me up, at least a little.”
He
felt her soft hand squeeze his. “That’s one of the things I love about you,
Will. You know about where I come from, because you know about small towns.”
“I
do know about them,” he said. “But remember. I’m the black sheep in my home
town.”
“Still?”
He
smiled up at the stars. He knew most people didn’t carry any grudges against
him, not even his parents, for things he’d done as a teenager. His father had
told him as much, but it was hard to forgive himself for those things.
“No,
I’m not the black sheep any longer. I was just a kid back then, but I’ve still
not been a very upstanding man when it comes to women. I’m afraid I have a
reputation in Nashville too, in case you haven’t heard. I’m the one who’s
needed to grow up.”
“I’ve
heard,” she said ruefully. “Even you keep reminding me of how many women you’ve
been with, Will, and I get it. You’re so experienced, and me, not so much. I
know you like women, and I’m a flipping twenty-five-year-old chicken who
stupidly decided not to have anything else to do with another man unless he
puts a ring on my finger. Except tonight, I wanted to change that.”
“It’s
not stupid. It’s mature and responsible. Standards are a good thing. I don’t
know why I never thought about that before I met you.”
“Yeah,”
she said. “But I made that decision before I met you. You make me want to let
go and have a little fun.”
“And
you make me want to slow down and do it right.”
She
stared at him, the corners of her mouth slowly turning up into a smile. “That
is so sweet.” She touched his face, and he felt a wave of affection for her
that made him want to take her back to that little church and marry her right
then and there. He pulled her hand to his chest and pressed it to his heart.
“I’ve
had a lot of fun in my life,” he said. “I never regretted any of it, either,
until I met you. Now, I’d give all that up just so you’d never feel insecure
about anything.”
She
turned her face to him. “Really?” He detected a hint of doubt in her voice.
“Darlin’,
I want you to know I haven’t been with any woman since the day I met you, but
if you knew about my wily ways, you wouldn’t like it, sweetheart. Hell, I have
one sister who isn’t married yet, and if she ever dates anyone like me, I’ll
kick his ass.”
She
smiled. “I don’t care about your past.”
“You
say that now, but later it will bother you. Mark my words. I’ve seen it happen
to others. Heck, it sounds like your own dad had a past, and look what it did
to Louise.”
“That’s
because my dad didn’t give up his past. And you’re not like him. You’re good.”
“God,
I hope you’re right.”
“I
am,” she said. “I know it.”
He’d
never had a woman call him good before, and Gillian had more than once. He
found himself wanting to be good to her forever. He kissed her fingertips and
continued to hold her hand to his chest. They lay like that in the warm night
under the stars, losing track of time, and he wished they never had to go back
to the city.
“So,
we’re leaving in the morning, right?” he asked, his voice breaking softly into
the quiet night.
She
was silent for a minute before saying, “Yeah.”
“You’re
sure?”
“I’m
glad I came back,” she said. “Even though I’m sorry about the fiasco it caused.
I could have handled it much better, but since it happened, I have to admit
that being back here has definitely reminded me of who I am.”
“And
who are you?” he asked, part agent and part boyfriend.
“I’m
a small town girl, Will. I can’t leave my roots behind.”
“I
don’t want you to.”
“And
I’m Cooper Heart’s daughter, whether I like it or not. He’s part of my roots,
and they do run deep. I’ve figured that much out.”
He
was quiet for a long time, his breath heavy. He was thinking about what she’d
said about not leaving her roots behind.
“I
came here to take you home,” he said. “But if this is where your roots are,
then—” He chuckled, but the sound held no happiness. “You can stay in Gold
Creek Gap, and I’d understand.”
She
turned on her side to face him, and he was struck by the milky white along the
curve of her cheek in the moonlight.
“Where
do you think I belong, Will?”
“In
Nashville, with me.” He propped himself on one elbow, meeting her gaze.
“Then
that’s where I’m going, not only because I have a record deal to save, but
because that’s where you’re at.”
Warmth
filled his chest, and he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.
He knew he was no good for her, but if she kept insisting he was, then maybe
there was a chance.
“So
isn’t this the part where you kiss me, again?” she asked.
“This
is the part.” His lips met hers with renewed passion, and he rolled her over on
her back, gently pinning her wrists above her head.
She
gave him a beguiling grin. “I thought you said we had to wait.”
“We
do,” he said, kissing her shoulder.
“Then
what are you doing?”
“Torturing
myself some more,” he said, before gently sucking at her bottom lip. He moved
slightly over her, enjoying the warmth of her against him, wishing it was skin
on skin.
“You
mean torturing me,” she said, her breath raspy. “Since you’ve already said you
won’t make love to me tonight.”
“Mmm,”
he said. “I did say that. And I meant it.” His mouth met hers in a deep, wet
kiss that made her squirm. “So be perfectly still now, so that I don’t lose
control.”
He
set to kissing every exposed inch of her again, which was delightfully quite a
lot in that sexy tank top and cut-off shorts. A low growl escaped his lips. He
wanted to be able to do this to her every night. What he was going to do to get
her to move in with him was going to make Dorothy and everyone he knew do a
double take. He smiled to himself. His dad might end up being the most
surprised of all, and that gave him a good feeling.
He
was kissing her down one leg and nibbling at an ankle when he suddenly pulled
back from her and smacked his lips. “The insect repellent is a nice touch.”
She
laughed, letting him smooth her hair back from her eyes. “The ankles are
targets for chigger bites around here, but I bought the kind that smells good.”
“It
does,” he admitted. “But it doesn’t taste that good.”
She
giggled. He rolled back to look at the stars. “It’s peaceful here. I think I
could get used to this life, minus the chiggers.”
“I’m
planning to visit a lot more often,” she said. “You could come here with me.
It’s a good place to think.”
“Apparently
it’s a good place to write songs too.”
“It
is that. Hey, when are you going to write a new song yourself, cowboy?”
He
pulled her over on top of him.
“How
about right now?”
“Gillian
Heart!” June rushed up to Gillian and Will as they entered The Sweetest Tea
Café. “Welcome back. Where have you been?”
Gillian
hugged June. “Back home to see my momma.”
“Now
that’s a good thing.” June ushered them back to the VIP room. “Tasha will be by
in a minute.”
It
always gave Gillian a bit of a rush to sit in the back room with Will and the
other movers and shakers of Nashville. How strange that she used to be one of
the waitresses.
“Honey,
you can’t run out on me like that.” Tasha poured them each a cup of coffee. “I
can’t be expected to feed Loretta forever, you know.”
“Oh,
thank you.” Gillian had missed her goldfish, even though she’d known Loretta
was in good hands.
Will
pointed to a black and white photo hanging next to their booth. “One of these
days,
June
is going to be putting a picture of you and me on this wall.”
“If
I didn’t mess anything up. And besides, you’re already on this wall with
Audrey.”
“Yeah,
but I’m just the guy in the background. I might as well be carrying her purse.”
“Ha!
Don’t you ever dare do that.”
“Well,
if she keeps making me money, I’ll carry her purse all she wants me to. I’ll be
carrying yours too, someday soon.” He grinned.
“You’re
crazy,” Gillian said. “But you’re my kinda crazy.”
“There
she is,” someone called. Gillian turned to see two of the record executives
from when she’d signed her contract.
Scooting
out of the booth, she smiled and stuck out her hand for both of them to shake.
Once
they all were seated, she cleared her throat and waited for one of them to
speak. They seemed to be mute.
Will
broke the silence. “Let’s start by expressing how much Gillian wants this
deal.”
One
of the men held up a finger to stop Will, and Gillian’s heart twisted. This was
the moment, she just knew, when it would all be over. Next they’d be pulling
out the contract and ripping it up—or whatever they did to cancel one.
“We
appreciate where you’re coming from, Will, but we’d like to hear from Ms.
Heart.”
Gillian’s
stomach clenched. Maybe she still had a chance. She took a breath, tried to
think about what her momma would tell her to say, what Will had coached her to
say. In the end though, all she could do was show them her heart.
“I
am deeply sorry,” she said. “And very embarrassed. I have childhood issues with
my dad that I’ve never gotten over. Your mentioning a collaboration with him
shocked me. And honestly, even though I knew it was coming, just the offer of a
contract was a shock.”
She
gave them a questioning look, hoping one of them would give her some insight
into what they were thinking, but they both sat quietly, their faces passive.
She
cleared her throat. “You see, I learned while I was back in Gold Creek Gap,
that’s my hometown, that I belong in a small town. That’s where I learned to
sing, where I went to church, and while my house was tiny and my mom was almost
poor, I was happy there. I may be back in Nashville, but a part of me has to
stay there, always.”
“Are
you saying you want to live in Gold Creek Gap?” one of them asked.
“No,”
she said. “Well, maybe sometimes. But what I mean is it has to be a part of me,
in my songs, in whatever you have planned for me. My dad, I realize, will
somehow be part of that too, because he’s had a big influence on me, but maybe
not in the way you’re hoping.”
They
were nodding, and she hoped it was a good sign. “What I’m saying is that you
signed me to this deal, and if you’re hoping my dad will magically appear and
be part of that? Well, it’s never going to happen, but you can keep hoping
right along with me if you want. In the meantime, you’ve got me all by myself,
if you still want me.”
Will
reached out and squeezed her hand, not bothering to hide it from the men
sitting across from them.
“We’ll
be right back.” They excused themselves and walked out through the curtain.
“I’m
so proud of you,” Will said. “I had no idea you were going to say that, about
your dad.”
“Me
neither,” she said. “But I realized it’s true.”
“Good
for you.”
“But
what if they don’t want me any more? What if I said the wrong thing?”
He
smiled. “I’ll be here for you, darlin’, whether they cancel or not. Someone’s
going to want you. I just know it.”
“But
what if
they
don’t?” The little bit of coffee she’d had threatened to
find its way back out.
“Don’t
worry. I’ll always want you.” He squeezed her hand again, and she thought that
maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.
“Oh,”
she said. “Here they come.” She sat up a little straighter, and so did Will.
One
of them smiled. “We’re all good, Gillian. We are still looking forward to
working with you.”
She
felt Will relax beside her, while her stomach did flip-flops.
“Oh,
my gosh,” she said. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
After
they were gone, Tasha hurried over to the booth.
“All
is well,” Gillian said, a grin pasted on her face. Tasha squealed, and Gillian
was reminded that besides her mom, and now Will, Tasha was her best friend. She
hoped with all her heart that Tasha would get her own dream someday.
“We
have to celebrate,” she said.
“We
will,” Gillian promised.