Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue (22 page)

BOOK: Natural Born Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue
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CHAPTER 40
 
I
was really startin’ to feel Selah, but at the same time me and her crazy son Barron stayed going at it hard!
“So when are you heading back to New York, Mink?” He walked up and blasted on me outta nowhere. “There’s a hood up in Harlem that’s missing two sewer rats.”
I had just left Selah’s suite when he caught me off balance. I had gone up there to tell his moms good morning and to see how she was doing, and now this fool was following me all the way to the other side of the house and talking crazy shit.
“Kill that hater noise,” I said and scratched my ass right in front of him as I walked into my suite. “I like Texas. I might not never go back to New York.”
He stepped up on the side of me and put his finger in my face. “It’s time for you to get up outta here, Mink. Y’all can’t stay here any longer, okay? Not you, with your fake, scheming ass, and not your ghetto-ass, drinking-milk-straight-outta-the-carton sidekick either! Who the fuck does that anyway?”
“My
mother
said I can stay here as long as I want to,” I said, irking the shit outta him. He got swole just like I knew he would.
“Yo! I’m not playing with you. Stay the fuck out of my mother’s room. I already told you not to go up in there funking her space up.”
“You know what, Barron?” Bunni got up off the sofa and walked toward him with her bottom lip quivering. “You real disrespectful, you know that? I wish my brother Peaches was here. He’d knock you dead on ya ass for talking to Mink that way. Word.”
Barron stepped up on her too. “Fuck you
and
your ‘brother’ Peaches! What? I’m supposed to be scared of him or something?”
“Oh, you need to be,” I told him. “Just go ’head with all that, Barron. Matter fact, get gone from outta here. Mama says this is
my
suite, and I want your tight ass to get the fuck out of it.”
That fool went beast. He bent over me and blasted down in my face.
“She is NOT YOUR FUCKING MOTHER!”
I blasted right back! “Get the fuck out my
face
!”
“Get me the fuck out your face!”
Without a word, Bunni snuck around and jumped on him from the back and I jumped on him from the front. We were two New York hoodrats on a mission as we swung and scratched and lit into his ass like he was the one tryna steal something from us.
“Cut that shit out!” he hollered as he tried to hold me off with one hand and Bunni off with the other one. We fought like two wolves in a pack. Bunni rushed him high and I rushed him low. He threw his hands up to grab Bunni and poked her right in the eyeball.

O www ww
!” she screamed and grabbed her face.
He tried to pry me off his legs and his Rolex grazed my mug and busted my lip. Blood trickled down my chin and I let him go for a quick second, but when Bunni lunged at him and got back in the fight, I lunged again too.
We were all over that fool. We hung off his ass like toddlers, using our weight to drag him down so we could tackle him and fuck him up. He staggered backward and crashed into a dresser, but we held on to him and threw killer blows everywhere we could land them.
We were sweating like a muthafucka up in that room. All three of us. Barron knew better than to just come out and swing on us, but he did toss our asses. He picked Bunni up first and chucked her across the room and she landed hard on the couch. Then he lifted me up like I was just baby weight, and he tried to spike my ass down on the king-sized bed like I was a football.
“You are not my fuckin’ sister, Mink,” he spit, breathing real hard. We had ripped the buttons off his shirt and scratch-welts had popped up on both sides of his face. “I don’t know
who
the fuck you are, but you sure as hell ain’t Sable.”
He turned to walk out the door and I couldn’t help but get the last word in.
“Just watch, asshole! The DNA test ain’t gonna lie, asshole!” I shouted. “The muthafuckin’ DNA test ain’t gonna lie!”
CHAPTER 41
 
B
arron had just climbed behind the wheel of his Maybach when he saw a DHL van pull up in the driveway behind him. He watched in the rearview mirror as the driver hopped out and walked toward the front door carrying a large yellow and red envelope in his hand.
“Ay!” Barron opened his car door and called to him. “Lemme get that over here!”
His stomach clenched as soon as he saw the return address on the envelope. It was from Exclusively DNA, and his jaw stiffened as he touched it. He signed for the envelope and then waited until the courier got back inside his truck and took off.
Finally
, Barron thought as he walked into the house. The results were in, and as soon as he broadcast that shit out loud those two scheming bitches from New York were gonna get tossed out the door. He felt a big weight lift off his chest. This shit was almost over. He’d have the maids go through those guest suites with a few gallons of bleach and wash all traces of that gutter trash from his father’s house. Barron tucked the envelope containing Mink’s DNA results under his arm, then he headed upstairs to his suite and locked his door.
Anticipation surged through him as he sliced into the envelope with a letter opener. As great as it would have been to find Sable and get that vote he needed on the company’s board, the only thing Barron wanted right now was for Mink to get her ass out of all of their lives.
He slid the three pieces of paper from the envelope and let his eyes skim over the cover sheet.
“Oh,
hell
fuckin’ no!” He almost crumpled when he read the summary statement and the conclusions of the test. Somebody was playing fuckin’ games! There had to be some kind of mistake!
Barron skimmed over the other two sheets of paper and he couldn’t believe what his eyes were reading. And he damn sure didn’t want anybody else to believe it either. He could hear Mink’s voice as she screamed all in his ear.
The DNA test ain’t gonna lie, asshole! The muthafuckin’ DNA test ain’t gonna lie.
Well some damn body was gonna have to lie, Barron thought grimly. He stuck the papers back inside the envelope, then grabbed his keys and headed back outside to his car.
 
Two hours later Barron’s wallet was lighter and his heart was too. It had cost him ten grand, but it was money well spent. A new DNA report was about to be generated at Exclusively DNA, and he’d be receiving a copy through courier mail in just a few days.
He had been in the right place at the right time to intercept that envelope, and he didn’t know what the hell would have happened if somebody else had gotten their hands on that shit first. Just the thought that somebody might find out that Mink’s DNA was a match and that she really was his sister Sable was scary.
That shit was scary as hell.
CHAPTER 42
 
B
ut two nights later Selah called for a family dinner.
The servants had just set the plates on the table when Barron and Carla entered the elegant Dominion dining room. His mother was already there, and so were Dane, Jock, Fallon, and a few of their aunts and cousins from Houston.
Barron sat down in the chair that was right next to Viceroy’s empty seat. The scratches on his face were just starting to heal. He looked up as Bunni and Mink walked into the room, closely followed by Pilar and her father, Digger.
Mink’s bottom lip was split in the middle, and Bunni’s right eye was red.
The kitchen staff overloaded the huge round table with pans of lasagna and bowls of salad. Glasses of ginger ale, sweet tea, wine, and ice water were set on trays. Selah Dominion stood up at her spot at the table, across from Viceroy’s empty chair. Her skin was glowing, and her champagne glass was already half empty.
“Excuse me everyone,” she said, ringing her glass with her salad fork. “I have an important announcement to make.”
Lips started flapping as everybody looked clueless but interested, and Barron sat stiff in his seat as he stared closely at his mother with a questioning look on his face.
Selah refused to meet his eyes. Instead, she cleared her throat and said, “Thank you everybody for coming to dinner. I know we haven’t been eating together all that much since Viceroy went in the hospital, but I have some news to share with you tonight, and I wanted everybody to hear it at the same time.”
Selah looked around the table and met everyone’s eyes.
“Eighteen years ago, in the blink of an eye, I lost my three-year-old daughter. “But today God blessed me with proof that no matter what happens in life we should never stop hoping or praying.”
She reached under the table and picked up a small, beat-up looking baby doll with a yellow ducky for a face and black yarn for hair, then looked directly at Mink.
“After Sable was kidnapped I vowed I would sleep with this doll every night until my baby was safely back at home. Well, I received a fax from the DNA lab today, and the little girl I lost in New York all those years ago, my sweet three-year-old daughter Sable ... well ... the truth is right here in black and white.”
Barron’s heart almost stopped as Selah picked up a sheet of paper from the table and held it up high in the air. He recognized the logo even from where he was sitting.
“Mink, my darling. That beautiful little girl I lost all those years ago was you.”
Tears were streaming down Selah’s face now. The raw emotion took away her voice leaving her speechless, and all she could do was mouth the words,
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
She pushed her chair back and walked over and took Mink in her arms and hugged on her like she was her long-lost daughter, finally found.
“Welcome home baby,” she whispered, crying uncontrollably now as she waved the ugly doll she’d been sleeping with for eighteen years high in the air. “Welcome home!”
Everybody broke out clapping, and Jock stuck two fingers in his mouth and let off a loud, sharp whistle. Chairs were pushed back as the family swarmed on Mink to welcome her back into the Dominion fold. There were hugs and kisses and mad love for her everywhere.
Except on Barron’s and Pilar’s faces.
Barron jumped to his feet. “Nah, hold up!” he barked. “This is some
bullshit
!” Everybody froze. “Lemme see that piece of paper, Mama, because I don’t believe this shit!”
Selah stared at him as she passed her son the form that had been faxed to her. “I understand how you feel, baby,” she comforted him. “This comes as a big shock to all of us Barron, and nobody has ever felt worse about Sable being taken away than you. But sometimes God sees fit to grant us a miracle, son, and you’re holding the proof right there in your hands.”
“I still don’t believe this shit!” Barron insisted. “I know it ain’t true!”
“It
is
true, Barron,” Selah laughed happily. “And it’s the best damn thing that has ever happened to this family. Now let’s eat, everybody!” Selah shouted and picked up her champagne glass. She turned that bad boy up to her lips and drained it. “Um ... pour me another one, Barron. A big one this time. In fact, I want
everybody
to knock back some wine! My baby is home, and I’m celebrating tonight!”
CHAPTER 43
 
B
eing Sable didn’t feel nothing like I thought it would. I had sat through that dinner with a brick in my stomach, and the only way I’d been able to stay in that room was by guzzling glass after glass of wine until I got dizzy.
Everybody agreed that they had never seen Selah so happy before. She came all outta her shell, and the way she throated that champagne showed me a hint of Brooklyn peeking through the mask she usually wore on her face.
Bunni was already talking about how she was gonna spend her twenty-five large reward money, but the thought of getting all that cash didn’t even excite me like I had thought it would. Bunni told me to chill and said I was numb and in shock. She said my brain just needed a minute to process all those zeros that were about to be rollin’ around in my bank account after that number one. But all throughout dinner I had sat there feeling like shit, and since I pulled ganks out the ass for a living, I figured my stomachache musta been from the wine.
I went back to my suite as soon as we were finished eating, and it was real late when one of the servants knocked on the door and gave me a note that said Selah wanted to see me. Bunni had gotten one of the drivers to take her across town so she could spend a few hours of pleasure with her pain slut, Kelvin, and I had already taken a shower and was stretched out across the bed still feeling sick.
“She wants me to come up there right now?”
The older black woman, whose name was Grace, nodded. “That’s what she said, Miss Mink.”
I put on my Prada bathrobe and slid my feet into the matching slippers. I didn’t know what to expect outta my new mama, Selah, but I woulda never expected what she dropped on me when I walked into her suite.
“It was all my fault!” she blurted out almost as soon as I stepped into her extra-spacious room. This was my first time seeing her without her makeup on and she really scared the shit outta me. Forget all that soft shit she had sucked down at dinner. Mami was straight liquored up now. I could smell the vodka coming off her breath real strong. Her face looked mad bloated, and it was shining with sweat. The long hair that was always perfectly whipped had been pushed back off her forehead and hung in limp strands like she had sweated it out in the shower.
“I’m sorry, Sable.” She grabbed me in a bear hug and held me close to her and cried big, rocking tears. “I swear I’m sorry. It was all my fault, baby. All my fault.”
I let her hug me for a few seconds, and then I gently pulled away. This was all a big hustle to me, but it was some crucial, real-life stuff to her, and for some reason I was starting to feel guilty as fuck.
“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”
She clutched my hand and I let her lead me over to a huge black velour sofa on the other side of her room.
“I lost you, baby.” There was crazy pain in her eyes as she stared deeply into mine. “
I lost you
.”
“I don’t get it. How did you lose me? I thought I was kidnapped, so how could that be your fault?”
“It WAS my fault!” She gripped my hand and damn-near yelled in my face. “I was DRUNK, okay? Drunk! I had just seen something terrible at your father’s job, and I ran out of there and headed straight to a liquor store! I sat in a park and drank until I was ready to pass out, and then I pushed your little stroller down the block and went inside a drug store so I could get a bottle of mouthwash.
“I left Barron up front to watch you and Dane. I know I shouldn’t have. He was just a kid, and not nearly old enough to watch two toddlers, but I was only going to rinse my mouth out and come right back. I couldn’t have been gone for more than two minutes. Not even two minutes! But when I came back ... you were gone. Barron was there, Dane was still there, and your little pink stroller and ducky-doll baby were still there ... but
you
were gone.”
Her whole face crumpled. She squinched her eyes closed and turned down her lips, and the wails just fell all outta her mouth.
I was all fucked up. I didn’t know what the hell to do. I damn sure didn’t know what to say. I felt bad for bringing this kinda pain into her life. I felt responsible for giving this real sweet lady so much false hope and for poking my sticky fingers inside all of her most painful spots.
“It’s okay, Selah,” I said as she put her head down and cried on my chest. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Please don’t cry.”
And then I said the words that I had been so freakin’ unable to say to my real mother, another drunk woman who was laying up in a nursing home helpless and outta touch with reality.
“I forgive you,” I said softly. I patted her hand and stroked her sweaty hair. “I forgive you.”
I sat with her as she cried for a whole hour.
She felt so bad for being drunk when her baby was snatched. Just so damn guilty all down in her bones that twice I almost came outta my face and told her that I wasn’t really Sable. Twice I almost blurted out the truth and took back my lie. But I didn’t.
“Will you sleep with me tonight?” she asked me. Her eyes were bloodshot and her bottom lip was doing the drunk chick’s sag. “When you were a baby you used to sleep with me every chance you got because you couldn’t stand your crib. You hated the bars. You just didn’t like being fenced in. It used to drive Viceroy crazy, but I loved it.”
She put her head on my shoulder and sighed.
“I haven’t snuggled with my baby girl in almost eighteen years. Will you let me be your mommy tonight?”
I wanted to scream and get the fugg up outta there! I liked Selah. She was cool and I felt real sorry for ganking her. And for real, her room was plusher than any hotel I’d ever seen in my life, but nah, that didn’t mean I wanted to sleep with her, okay?
But I did it. Her bed was so big it had to be custom made. It sat up on an elevated platform with a smoked marble base that was trimmed in gold. She pulled the sheets back and I took off my robe. We climbed into her bed together, and the cool satin sheets felt like a mother’s love on my skin.
I had a bunch of cousins so I had slept with plenty of females before. When you come from a family full of trifling people it was rare to have a bed all to yourself. But I had never been held by a woman in my life, and I didn’t really know how to take it when Selah scooted up behind me and put her arm around me. I lay there stiffer than a mutha as she touched my hair, then rubbed my arm. A few minutes later she was snoring softly in my ear with that raggedy little ugly ducky-doll baby clenched in her fist.
I don’t know when I fell off, but I did. And I slept good too. Damn good. I woke up the next morning and the memories from last night crashed down on me. I lay there not knowing how in the hell I was supposed to feel. I mean, I was still on my game, and getting that dough was always at the top of my to-do list, but I had never even thought about how fucked up Sable’s family was gonna feel behind me and Bunni’s grimy mess.
I peeped over my shoulder. Selah had rolled over to the other side of the bed. She looked a lot younger than she had a few hours earlier. That sleep had worked some hella miracles on her during the night. Her face looked smooth and slack, like all the stress had left her body. She looked happy. Real content. And the ugly little ducky-doll that had comforted her while her baby was gone was still cuddled in her arms.

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