Need (4 page)

I reached down and picked up a sandwich. Lily did the same. “Causing problems again?”

“He’s just annoying. Hovering. It’s like he feels he has to double-check everything I do.” Then she waved me off. “I’m just complaining,” she said. “Don’t mind me.”

I trusted Lily to tell me if there really was an issue. “You were looking for me yesterday,” I said, giving her an opening.

“I wanted to know how Brianna was doing.”

“She’s confused, which is to be expected.”

“Was she upset?” Lily asked.

I thought about that for a minute. “No. She wasn’t upset. Scared, yes, but not upset.”

We continued to eat our lunch in silence for a few minutes before I started speaking again. “I told her I’d like for her to be my submissive.” Lily stopped eating. “I’d like you to talk to her. Tell her what it’s like. Answer her questions.”

“Of course,” she answered. “Whatever she needs.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” I said and smiled at her. “Are you free for lunch tomorrow? I thought that maybe you two could go out. She needs to be around people more.”

“Lunch is perfect. I need to stop at the hotel that’s hosting the foundation’s fall fundraiser anyway. I’ll pick her up on the way and we can eat there. It will be perfect!”

“What time should I tell her to expect you?”

She hummed as she mentally went through her schedule for the next day. “Have her ready by eleven forty-five. The hotel is only about ten minutes from your place.”

We finished our food and Lily stood to leave. “Were you able to find a dress for Brianna?” I asked.

“I did,” she beamed. “I’ll bring it with me and she can try it on. I can’t wait to see what she thinks.”

“Just go easy, Lily. Saturday is going to be a big step for her.”

“You know me,” she said and winked.

“Yes,” I said dryly as she sauntered from my office. “That would be the point.”

Brianna

My day had been filled with trivial things. The morning was spent reading and thinking over what . . . Stephan . . . had told me over the last two days. He wanted me to stay with him, but staying meant being his submissive. I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t know if I could do what he wanted.

He called just as I was beginning to make something for lunch. Seeing his name on my phone made me smile.

Our conversation had been short, as it usually was when he called from work, but it had also been different from the many other times we’d talked. He’d made me say his name.

As I sat down to eat my food, and for the rest of the day, I thought about how it felt to call him Stephan. It felt wrong on some level. Like I was breaking some rule, but I also found that I liked it. It was a very strange mix of feelings.

I did some laundry and cleaned the house before going back into the kitchen to start dinner for us.

The minutes ticked away on the clock, bringing it closer to the time I knew he would be home. I was . . . happy? Excited? Neither word really fit what I was feeling. All I knew was that I wanted to see him again.

Like clockwork, I heard footsteps just seconds before the door started to open. I started to move to take my usual place, but then I froze.

My brain was at war with my body. Therefore, instead of moving or reacting in any way, I just stood there.

He took a few steps inside, his eyes searching the room before landing on me. His smile faltered and changed into a look of concern. I tried to make myself move. Obviously, I’d made the wrong decision.

Before I could get my limbs working again, he was there in front of me. His hands came up and cradled my face. The change was almost instantaneous.

My body sank into his warm comfort. He pressed my head against his chest as they threaded through my hair. I felt . . . right again.

We stood there for several minutes until the timer let me know it was time to take the meat out of the oven. He pulled back and looked deep into my eyes before leaning down and placing a soft kiss to my lips.

When I opened my eyes again, his back was toward me as he walked across the space between his bedroom and me. He was so fluid when he moved; every step seemed to know its destination before it started.

Only when he disappeared into his room did I realize that I was staring. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment and quickly went to get the chicken out of the oven.

Dinner was quiet. I saw him watching me several times and wondered if he was waiting for me to speak. Questions swirled in my mind for both him and Lily, and I tried to get them in order while I ate.

After dinner, he helped me take the plates back into the kitchen before going to sit in his chair. I finished putting things away and then went in to join him. This time, I went directly to him, waiting for him to open his arms before I sat down.

He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned against him. I rested my head on his shoulder, and my hand came up to play with a button on the front of his shirt. “Did you have a good afternoon?” he asked.

I shrugged. “It was okay. I cleaned the house mostly.”

He was quiet for a few minutes, probably waiting to see if I was going to add anything. I wasn’t.

“I spoke with Lily. She’ll be here tomorrow around eleven forty-five to pick you up for lunch. I suggest you be ready early. Lily doesn’t like to be late.”

“I’ll be ready,” I said with only the slightest hesitation. It was too much to hope that he wouldn’t notice.

His arms tightened around me a little and his lips brushed my brow. “You have nothing to be worried about, Brianna. Lily wants to help. She’ll answer any questions you have.”

I nodded and pressed myself closer to him. He said I could ask him anything. “Was Lily . . . ?”

When I didn’t continue, he leaned back so that he could see my face. “Was Lily what?”

Did I really want to know this? What if he said yes? I went back and forth before I finally decided that I needed to be brave. “Was Lily your . . . submissive, too?” Then I hurried to add, “I know you said she is Logan’s now, but was she ever yours?” I let the last word trail off into almost a whisper.

He took a deep breath, which made me nervous. “Lily and I met at a party. We hit it off. After seeing each other a few more times at various things we discussed doing a scene together.”

“A scene?” I asked when he paused for a moment.

He took my right hand in his and began idly playing with my fingers. “Do you remember when I blindfolded you in the woods?”

“Yes.”

“That was a scene of sorts. There are many different types of scenes, but in all of them, the goal is to teach something.”

“So, you taught Lily something?”

“Yes,” he smiled and then shook his head as if remembering. “And although technically everything went fine, it just didn’t feel quite right.” Then he looked me straight in the eye and let out a small chuckle. “It almost felt like she was my sister.” His face sobered. “Not funny at the time, mind you, but looking back I can now find humor in the situation.”

I was trying to process what he was telling me. He had taught Lily something like he had taught me. That had to mean that she’d allowed him to do things to her. Did I want to know more?

Whether I wanted to know was irrelevant. I
needed
to know. “Did you have sex with her?” Although Stephan had said he’d not have sex with me until I asked him, clearly Lily had been a willing participant in whatever they’d done together. Did that mean they’d had sex as well?

“No,” he said. “As you saw in the woods, not every scene involves a sexual act. Many do, but not all.”

“So . . . ,” I said, hoping he’d finish the story.

“So . . . ,” he said, smiling again. I loved it when he smiled. “We stayed friends and it came to my attention a few months later that she was looking for a new job. I had an opening at the foundation and thought she’d be perfect.”

“And . . .” I paused, wondering if this was something that I would be better off asking Lily. “And Logan?”

“Logan has been my best friend since we were fourteen. He’s in charge of public relations over at North Memorial Hospital. As part of her job, Lily attends events that benefit the foundation around town, just as I do. She was at the dinner they host every year when she saw him. They talked and instantly clicked,” he said. “There was only one problem.”

“What?” I asked, interested to hear the rest.

“Lily was a submissive and had been living the lifestyle since she was eighteen. Logan, on the other hand, was not involved in the lifestyle and never had been.”

I was beyond interested. This is what I needed to know. 

He continued. “When she found out that we were friends, she enlisted my help.” Stephan shifted in his seat and pulled me back against him once again, this time taking both hands and lacing his fingers with mine. “It took some time and a lot of talking. I taught him what I knew and gave him material to read.” Then, with a certain finality he said, “They’ve been together ever since.”

I asked a few more questions about Lily and Logan before he said, “Saturday is the annual dinner for North Memorial.” 

At first, I sat waiting for him to continue. When he didn’t, I turned a little to see his face. His eyes were soft. So soft, I wanted to melt into them. Him. 

“Would you accompany me as my date, Miss Reeves?”

The first thing I felt was fear, but there was also another feeling. One I couldn’t remember feeling before.

I pressed my lips together until it was almost painful. There was no pretense here. He was asking me to go with him, and I was free to refuse.

I couldn’t refuse him, though. “Yes,” I nodded. He smiled and it made it all worth it.

Before I knew what was happening, he turned me in his lap, and his mouth was on mine. As his lips took control, my fear of Saturday and the dinner disappeared.

Brianna

He smiled warmly as he turned to leave for work Wednesday morning. I blushed as he grazed my cheek with his fingers and he told me to have fun with Lily. As I watched him leave, I traced my lips with my index finger. I could still feel the ghost of his pressing against them.

    I closed my eyes as I leaned against the back of the couch and remembered last night. It had started out to be a kiss just like all the others, but then he somehow managed to turn me so that my legs were on either side of his. I was straddling him.

He’d encouraged me to touch him. Touch him in any way I wanted. My hands found their way into his hair.

I was unsure. While he’d never had a problem with me touching him, it was something that was very new to me. Ian hadn’t allowed much touching unless it was to service him. A few of the men he’d given me to had liked to be touched, but they always told me where to touch them and what to do. Ste . . . Stephan hadn’t given me instructions.

I remembered my hands in his hair as his fingers traveled up and down my back over my shirt. It was amazing how wonderful it had felt. How wonderful it always felt when I was in his arms.

My breath caught as I remembered how his hands had held tightly to my hips before he pressed me hard against him. I’d felt his arousal through the thin layer of his dress pants.

The moment I felt that unmistakable bulge of want and lust, I’d frozen. I’d felt the panic begin to take over.

He abruptly pulled away from my lips and he made me look at him. I could still hear his voice. Still feel his breath against my lips. “Not until you ask me, Brianna. Not until you ask.”

He’d held us both perfectly still until I’d calmed down. Then, he told me that he needed me to understand how much he wanted me and that he hoped one day I’d let him show me.

I hadn’t known how to respond, but he didn’t seem to need one. Instead, he proceeded to place soft kisses all over my face and then down my neck to a spot just behind my ear.

His mouth kept moving at an unhurried pace over every inch of exposed skin on my face and neck.

My face flushed just remembering it.

After a few minutes, I had started to forget about the part of his anatomy I could feel between my legs. The only things that I could think about were his lips. His tongue. And what they were doing to me. He always seemed to be able to make me feel things.
Good
things.

The problem was that even now, remembering, I had no idea what it all meant. Everything was very new. Although I liked it, I was scared.

No matter how hard I tried, my thoughts about the previous night continued throughout the morning. I tried to read, but after spending an hour looking at the same page, I stopped and set it aside.

There on the nightstand was the journal he’d given me. My journal.

I reluctantly picked it up. Its pages were fresh and new, just waiting to be filled, so I began to write.

Surprisingly, the words spilled out onto the page. Everything I’d been feeling. My fears. The strange reactions I had when he kissed me. How just having him there with me calmed me down. How different he was from Ian.

I was so caught up in my writing that I didn’t notice the time passing. When I looked up, the clock read eleven thirty. Lily would arrive in fifteen minutes. I threw the journal down on the bed and rushed to my closet to find something to wear.