Need You Tonight (12 page)

I know what he means. This does feel like more. It feels like everything I’ve been missing. I will miss her, with everything inside of me. It’s killing me inside to contemplate the future, now that I’ve been in her presence.

A week without her confirmed that.

Shit.
What have I gotten myself into? Maybe I should tell her that I’m leaving at the end of the summer. That’s why I’d given her a toolbox—so she’d be able to repair things on her own while my brother and Rae search for another handyman.

Brooklyn starts to sing along with the song playing in the background. She sounds so happy, and I can’t ruin that by telling her the truth.

Only, without knowing it, Brooklyn is chipping away at all the reasons I should leave Forrestville. All but one. I move my arm from under my head and hold my hand in front of me.

I flex my fingers, thinking of the countless women I’ve touched with them. The countless women I’ve made cry out with pleasure with my mouth. Women who didn’t know me, who used me with my permission, because I needed the money to pay for shit that Cole had no clue about.

Yet, all I’ve done with my mouth and hands to Brooklyn is made her cry, made her question her loyalty to the memory of her husband, and made her shrink back inside herself.

I’m
that
man. The one I’d swore never to be. It doesn’t matter that I’ve never physically touched her in anger, because I’ve wounded her deeply with my words. I have to own that, and before the summer ends, I have to make up for it, too.

She rolls to one side, propping her head up with her hand. “I’m starving for more pizza. Want some?”

Want some? I want her. My gaze falls to her pink lips. “I’m… I need to go, actually.”

A flash of disappointment covers her face. “All right.”

Letting go of my hand, she scrambles to her feet, and I join her. We walk to the front door, my steps slowing the closer we get. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t trust myself to stay.

“Big plans tomorrow?” she asks.

No, I don’t have any other plans, but to work out and pick up some groceries. I spend most days like that, by myself. “Not really. You?”

“Church and then back home for lunch. I bought some flowers to plant and—”

I seize the excuse to spend more time with her. “I can help.”

She gives me the biggest, sweetest smile I’ve ever seen, bumping me with her hip. “You just want me to cook Sunday dinner for you, don’t you?”

“I love to eat.”

A slight blush covers her cheeks. “I love cooking for someone again.”

Her heartfelt admission reminds me of my unfounded accusation. “About that,” I begin, and her smile falters, “I was way off-base to accuse you of using me to get over Braden. In fact, I was more than off-base, I was wrong.”

“You were wrong,” she agrees, and I inwardly flinch. I deserve to hear that from her, so I’ll keep my mouth shut and take it like a man. “I would never use you to get over my—Braden, or for anything else. But I think what you did for me tonight proves that you’re a really good guy, Parker.” She touches my chest, the pressure light but firm. “Your heart’s in the right place, even if the rest of you hasn’t caught up to it yet.”

There are smudges of dirt on her nose, cheek, and the yellow tank top she has on. Her hair is falling out of her bun, and she’s wearing rain boots with a pair of shorts that are faded and frayed at the bottom. She has to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.

“I think you need to go into the landscaping business,” she says, joining me.

“I’ll add it to my list.”

“What kind of list?”

Taking the containers from her, I dump them into the back of my truck and then walk to the front porch to sit on the steps. “I have a list of jobs I’m considering.”

“Having a hard time picking out what you want to be when you grow up?” she asks, and though I know she teasing, I can’t help but think she’s mentally comparing me to her husband and finding me lacking.

“Too busy working to pay bills to have that luxury,” I say, grabbing the water bottle behind me. “I did the college thing for a while but it’s expensive and my work schedule interfered.” Most of the time, I was exhausted, and the more I was available to work for the agency, the more money I made to help pay the bills.

“Rowan said you and your brother used to own The Double Deuce.”

I give her a side-glance and take a drink of water. “Did she also say we’re loaded?”
Jesus.
I do not want to put Brooklyn in the same category as gold digger.

“Kinda. But not for the reasons you think.” She sits down beside me, our thighs nearly touching. “She told me so I wouldn’t stay mad at you.”

That doesn’t help. “The thought of me being rich helped you get over what I said to you?”

“No!” She shakes her head so hard that the knot forming in my chest starts to unwind. “I thought the only reason you finished all the things that needed to be done around here was because you
needed
the money, not because you…
wanted
to help me. Maybe? Rowan suggested
that
was your motive.”

I lean back on my elbows, studying her face. “What if I told you that all the money we made from the sale of the bar went into a trust fund for Kelly and none of us can touch it?”

“I think it’s very sweet of you to look out for your little sister like that.”

“Doesn’t that prove Rowan wrong? That I’m only here because I need the money, and everything I do is backed up by a paycheck?”

She eyes me. “No.”

I raise my brows. “Really?”

“Yes, because there’s a Christmas tree in my living room with presents under it that say otherwise.” With a pleased look on her face, she gets up and looks at me. “Thanks for all your help today. I’m going to take a shower and relax. Don’t forget to take your leftovers from lunch home with you.”

“I won’t.” I watch her walk inside, leaving the door open for me.

After a minute or two, I hear water running. I groan at the images that come to mind. Water sliding down her body, her hands soapy as she caresses her skin. The arch of her neck as she washes her hair under the rain of water.

I grow hard. Painfully hard.

“Just get your shit and leave,” I mutter to myself. Pushing away from the porch to stand, I walk inside to get the containers of food Brooklyn had put together for me.

My hip bumps a table along the way, and I hear something fall to the floor. Bending down to pick it up, I turn it over, only to find Brooklyn’s husband staring back at me, accusation in his eyes. I almost drop the fucking thing.

Lusting after my wife, huh? You’re not good enough for her. Face it, bro, you’re nothing but a whore… a glorified prostitute, and my girl deserves better.

Hands shaking, I carefully put the picture back where it belongs. Then I stride out of the house, a place I don’t belong, and away from a woman that will never belong to me.

“We need to go see mom.”

I expect Cole to argue with me, or at least give me a hard time, but he does none of that. “I’ll get the tickets. Two week from today work for you?”

Any day works for me. The sooner, the better, but he doesn’t need to know that. My brother won’t leave it alone if I admit it. He’ll want to know why. “Yeah.”

“Anything else on your mind?”

Will you still call me brother when I admit the truth of what I used to do? Who I used to be?
“No.”

“I want to apologize,” Cole says just as I think he’s about to end our call.

“For what?”

“For being so hard on you about Brooklyn. Rae overheard our conversation and suggested that the two of you were grown-ass adults, and I should quit being so nosey.”

I swallow the laughter building in my throat. “She’s standing right beside you, isn’t she?”

“Yep.”

“Anyway, if you and Brooklyn have a mutual interest—seriously Rae? Ow. Fuck, you don’t have to hit me. I’m reading from your notes—uh, you didn’t hear that part, Parker.”

I love my sister-in-law, and I love the fact that she turns my brother into this big teddy bear. Well, most of the time. God help anyone who tries to mess with her or us. Then the Hulk Smash Monster comes out.

“You were saying?”

“Like I was saying, if the two of you have a mutual interest—shit—if the two of you want to hang out or date or sex each other up until y’all can’t move, then it’s not my place to warn you away. You’re a good guy, and unlike me, you always do the right thing.”

Unlike him? What Cole doesn’t know is that I idolize him, always have, and always will. The shame I feel when it comes to what I used to do is directly related to two things—his opinion of me and being treated as less than human.

“Whoever you decide to be with…well, I hope she realizes she’s just won the fucking lottery. I know it wasn’t said often enough growing up, but you’re not trash…you’re not worthless. You’re a fucking prize,” he adds in a gruff voice, and my chest gets a little tight. “I have no clue why you want to move so damn bad, but I wish to God you’d consider staying. Think of what it would do to Kelly. To me.”

His words hit me right in the gut. I hadn’t considered Kelly or him, or anyone but me. If Cole knew the reason why I wanted to leave, I think he would understand, but all he has to go on is my flippant,
I need to get out of this
place
attitude.

“And I sure as hell won’t start going out with West because you won’t be around.”

I have to clear my throat a few times before I can speak. “Thanks. I appreciate that. It means a lot, coming from you.”

“Good.” He clears his throat, too. “
Fanfuckingtastic
. Look, I have to run.”

“See you in two weeks,” I say.

Then Cole ends our call, leaving me with my thoughts.

“Wow. You look amazing.”

I laugh, smoothing down one side of my skirt. “You’re just saying that because I’m usually covered in dirt or mud when we hang out.”

He walks to me, meeting me in the middle, and takes off his sunglasses. “No, I mean it. You look beautiful. The pearls, the skirt… the hair. It’s a damn good thing Rowan’s your boss.”

Perplexed, I look at him. “Why?”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You really don’t know?”

I shake my head. “No.”

Biting his lip, he lets his gaze roam over me. A wave of heat washes over me and I feel my nipples get hard, but I don’t dare look down to see if that shows through my thin blouse. His gaze travels up and up, lingering on my breasts for a moment, before settling on my face. His eyes are more golden than green, his cheeks slightly flushed, and his nostrils slightly flared.

If I didn’t know any better, I would think he was turned on just from looking at me. The thought makes me slightly giddy.

“Let’s just say that you would meet every fantasy a man could have.” Then he clears his throat. “Are you free for dinner?”

“Right now? Tonight, I mean?” I sound all flustered, which I am, because I’m still turned on by him looking at me.
Stop thinking like that, you sex-starved bunny.

“Yeah tonight.”

“I’m free.” I glance down at my clothes again. “Should I change?”

“Nope. You’re perfect just the way you are.” He takes my hand. “You’re riding with me. I’ll bring you back to your car later.”