Neither (14 page)

“What the hell?”

“I told you. I'm not what you think I am. Here,” I said, taking his hand and putting it on my heart. Far enough up so he wasn't touching my boob, but close enough that he could feel that my heart didn't beat.

“Do you feel that?” I said.

His face went a little red as he saw where his hand was. Boys.

“Feel what?”

“Exactly. And here.” I took his hand and moved it to my neck where there was no pulse. “I have no heartbeat, no pulse. Haven't you noticed that I don't breathe? Or blink?”

He opened and closed his mouth several times, still looking down at his hand as if he'd forgotten he had one. “How are you doing this? Is it some kind of trick?”

“No, it's not a trick. How could I do that?”

“Brooke, stop it. It's not funny.” His heart pounded a frenzied beat.

“I'm aware,” I said as he tried to take his hand back. It was time for drastic measures. I refused to let his hand go.

“What are you doing? Let go.”

If I had been human, he would have been able to pull away easily. Only I wasn’t human. I let him struggle a bit longer. I didn't want to hurt him, and the energy he was exerting was making him smell more appealing. So I let go. His arm snapped back and he stumbled.

“You're... really strong,” he said, rubbing his wrist.

“I know. It's because I'm not human.” I leaped back onto the stump, twirling as I did so. From his perspective, I probably looked like a stuntwoman or something.

“How are you doing that?”

“I'm immortal,” I said, turning around. “If you really, really want me to prove it, I can. We just have to go back to the ocean.”

“I don't understand what's happening.”

“I know,” I said. Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have told him. His bright face was drawn down in a confused frown. I'd done that. “I should have just let you go. Or killed you. I wanted to kill you. That's why I was on the side of the road. I was waiting for someone to try to rescue me, and then you showed up. I've tried to talk myself into killing you so many times. I just... can't.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He was in shock, that was for sure, maybe moments away from catatonic. All my fault.

“I don't really know. You remind me that I used to be human.”

“When were you... not human?” He still didn't believe me, but he wanted to know more so he could try and decipher my real story.

“I was changed two weeks ago. Since then I've killed fifty-seven people. You were going to be number fifty-eight.”

“Brooke, I want to help you. I really do. But you've got to tell me the truth.”

“Oh, Jamie. I wish this wasn't the truth. I was a normal girl, and I met what I thought was a boy when I snuck out of my house. He turned out to be what is called a noctalis. He gave me some of his blood and I woke up like this. Well, not exactly.”

“Drugs? Did he give you drugs? Are you on drugs, Brooke?” He thought I was high. Well, blood certainly could make me feel that way.

“I wish it were that easy.” It was time to bring out the big guns.

“Bet you I can climb that tree in thirty seconds.”

“What?”

“Bet you I can climb that tree in thirty seconds. Time me,” I said, hopping back off the stump. He took a second, but got out his phone.

“Go.”

I made it in fifteen.

“Holy shit,” Jamie said as I stared down at him from the swaying top of the oak tree. Now I was really going to blow his mind. I leaned out and let go of the tree.

“Brooke!” Jamie called as I was already falling. He rushed to catch me and I adjusted myself so I landed right next to his outstretched hands, making a cloud of dust as my feet slammed into the earth.

“Hey,” I said, giving him another smile. The shocked look on his face was so funny that I laughed. He stood, stunned, unable to comprehend.

“Boo,” I said, touching his shoulder.

“How did you do that?” His voice quavered. I didn't like scaring him, but I needed him to know. I was going to follow through with this. He was going to understand. Because then he would leave and he would be saved.

“I told you. I'm not human. You believe me now?”

He swallowed a few times and shook his head back and forth, like he was trying to shake everything I had told him out of it.

“I guess I have to.”

“See? Now you know why I came to see you this morning. Because I can never see you again.” The words pierced me as they came out of my mouth. I wanted to break them, shatter them and take them back.

“What are you?”

“A fairy. Or faerie. However you want to spell it. I'm also a vampire.”

“No, really.”

“Really. I have a genuine set of wings hidden back here,” I said, pointing to my back. Maybe I was going to have to bust them out.

Jamie scoffed. He was a tough nut to crack. “I have a really hard time believing that.”

“I can show you, if you want.” He crossed his arms and jerked his chin up.

“Go ahead.” Even though I'd raced up a tree and leapt to the ground without any effort, he still didn't believe me. I guessed a pair of white wings was in order. Luckily, I had some.

“I'm going to have to take my shirt off. I don't want to ruin it. Unless you don't mind giving me yours.” He hesitated, and then stripped it off, tossing it to me. I had to fight the urge to inhale his smell. “So here I go.”

I pulled the shirt over my head, watching his face the entire time. His pupils pulsed and he swallowed. I smiled inwardly with satisfaction. I wasn't anything special, but that didn't matter to Jamie. He looked at me as if I was the first girl he'd ever seen. Or like I would be the last. The sun hit his hair, and for a moment, he looked like an angel. I forgot for a moment about my wings.

“You ready for this?” I said one last time, just to make sure.

He shook his head back and forth, and his face went red. “Not really. I think I'm still hallucinating.”

I wasn't sure if he was talking about the other stuff I'd done or taking my shirt off. Maybe both. I grinned at him and let my wings come out. They made a strange sort of tearing that freaked me out the first few times it happened. I turned my head and watched them come, like little flags popping out from my skin. I seriously didn't know where they went when I wasn't using them, but then I had no idea why my heart didn't beat, either. I turned to the side so he could see them. They reached about three feet from my back, curved, and reminded me of moth or butterfly wings. Or fairy wings.

I finally looked at Jamie. “Has your mind been blown?” I said, fluttering them.

His mouth was wide open, and he blinked a bunch of times as if he had something in them.

“It's real,” I said, turning my back so he could see them full-on. “You can touch them.”

I glanced over my shoulder and he swallowed again. His heart was racing as if his life was in danger. His blood pumped so loud and quickly, it was all I could do not to lunge at him and sink my teeth into his jugular. Why did humans have to be so irresistible?

“I can't believe you're real. How is this possible?”

He put his hand out and lurched forward, stopping just short of touching them. I flapped them once and he gasped. The sound made me giggle.

“Go ahead, don't be shy.” I moved backward until one of my wings bumped into his hand. He flinched back. I smiled at him and moved my wing slowly so it brushed his hand again. His skin was so warm. He stroked my wing and looked at his fingers, as if something had rubbed off on him.

“How are they attached?”

“Right here,” I said, pointing to the spot where they met my back. He couldn't completely see them because my bra was sort of in the way. Sighing, I reached behind and snapped it off. I tossed it to the ground and wrapped one arm around my front. His heart picked up. Boys.

I bent forward so he could see better.

“See? They go right into my skin.” Moments later his hands prodded the spot where my wings met my back, looking and searching. Still unconvinced. “Go ahead and yank on them. They won't come up.”

“I don't want to hurt you.” That really made me laugh.

“Jamie, there's no way you can hurt me. I dare you. Come on. You know you want to.” Either the teasing or the curiosity got the better of him, and he took hold of my left wing and gave it a tug. I barely felt it.

“Harder,” I said. Really, he hadn't tried. He yanked again. Nope. He couldn't even throw me off balance.

“How do you do that?”

“I told you. I'm immortal. I'm a predator, so I'm stronger than my prey. That would be you.” I winked at him and his eyes bulge again. Somehow, he made even that movement attractive. He was one beautiful boy. His fingers went back to work on my back, and he peered at my wings from every angle.

His hands skated across the bare skin of my back. If I had been human, I wouldn't have been able to stay still. As it was, all I could think of was turning around and letting him touch me everywhere.

“It's not possible. It can't be,” he said when his inspection was over and I was able to compose myself.

“How is anything possible? I don't know. I just know that it's real. I'm real.”

I leaned down and got my bra, snapping it on before he could react. I sucked my wings back in, threw his shirt over my head and turned around. He stepped back and I could sense that his legs weren't going to support him. His knees buckled and I caught him, lowering him until he was sitting on the ground.

“Easy, tiger.” I sat next to him and waited a second before I said anything. “It happened three days after I swapped blood with this guy. Well, he wasn't a guy. He was this thing called a noctalis.” I went on to explain meeting Ivan, being changed and waking up as an immortal. He listened, his eyes fixed on my face.

“I just can't believe this is real. So you're a vampire fairy?”

“Pretty much. It's a weird mishmash of mythology, isn't it? If it wasn't my life, I'd say it sounded ridiculous.” I lay back and closed my eyes, listening to him think. Funny how many sounds humans make that they aren't even aware of.

It was like I could hear the clicking of his mind. His scent was all around me, and I fingered the material of his shirt. It was ginormous on me, but I didn't mind. I liked having something that had touched his skin, touching mine.

“Vampire?” he said. I knew what he was asking. I wasn't sure if he wanted the answer, though. “Was that what you were doing on the side of the road?”

“Yeah, I was going to use you for your blood. Everything I told you is true. I was trying to lure my prey.”

“You want my blood?” His fear spiked again, and I opened my eyes and turned my head so I could look at him. He tried to pretend that he wasn't scared of me, but he was. Everything else about him betrayed the lie.

“Yeah, I do. I want everyone's blood. It's part of the immortality deal. Can't get anything for free.”

He shifted, propping his elbows on his knees. “Why haven't you taken it? Not that I'm complaining, but it doesn't make sense.”

“I know.” I'd forgotten how to sigh, or else I would have. “It's complicated, Jamie, and I don't know if I have enough time to explain it right now. I don't know if I can explain it.”

I moved over to my stomach, propping my chin on my hands. Jamie watched me, as if I was going to dive at him.

“So, you're not afraid I'm going to rip your throat out?” I asked.

He shook his head, as if he was coming out of a trance. I hadn't meant to pull him in, but I couldn't really control it.

“I'm sorry. It sounds so unbelievable. You just don't look like you could hurt anyone.”

“Oh, Jamie. I have wings. Anything is possible.”

“I guess so,” he said, squinting at the sun, which was behind a veil of clouds, at least for a moment.

“I'm still not sure if I believe you, even though I don't have any more reasons not to.”

I sat up, moving a little bit closer to him, testing to see how close he would let me get. Like a frightened horse, you had to move closer slowly so as not to scare it. Something about horses triggered a memory.

There had been a farm down the road from my house in New Hampshire and sometimes the owner let me ride if I mucked out stalls and stuff. The memory sparkled like a shiny stone and flooded my brain. I grabbed onto it, making sure it would stay.

Jamie watched me, puzzled. I moved closer again until our shoulders were touching.

“That's okay. You don't have to. I just wanted you to know.” I bumped my shoulder against his, and it sent him off balance. I grabbed onto him again, but I didn't let go. We stayed like that, with me holding him for several heartbeats.

“Will I ever see you again?” He asked the question I didn’t know how to answer.

I let go of him. “I don't think so. It's too hard to be around you.”

“The... blood?” He had a hard time saying the word, as if it choked him.

“Mostly. There are other things I need to do, and I can't get involved with anyone.” I moved away from him.

He raised one eyebrow. So sexy. “More secrets?”

“Just a few. A girl never shares them all,” I said with a smile. “Not even an immortal one.”

“You just look like a girl to me. A beautiful girl, but still, a girl.” This time, he was the one who moved closer to me. He reached out one of his hands and dragged a finger down my cheek. As if he was checking to see if I was still real.

“I was a girl. Just two weeks ago. If only I could have met you then.” He took his hand away as if he was embarrassed. I touched his shoulder.

“It's okay. At least we met at all.” He looked down at his hands, turning them over. They're rough and calloused, probably from playing sports. Tough hands, soft heart.

“Yeah,” I said. It was an inadequate word for what was going on, but it was the best I could come up with when his scent was surrounding me.

“How long are you going to stay?” he said.

“I don't know. There are things I need to do.” I couldn't believe I was sharing that with him. I had a hard time controlling my mouth when he was around. It hadn't been a problem until I met him. What had he done to me?

“What kind of things?”

“Someone I need to find,” I said.

“Who?”