Neither (21 page)

“Tex, go away.”

“I swear, if you don't get in this car right now, my Russian is going to throw you over his shoulder and put you in it.”

“Do not make me do that,” Viktor says.

“Fine! Fine.”

Jamie goes down the steps and gets in the car, and Texas kicks up the gravel in the driveway as she speeds away.

Ava stares at me, bewildered. “Really? That was her plan? Kidnapping him?”

“It worked,” I say. She considers for a moment.

“True.”

We walk to the truck, but the keys aren't in it.

“Hold on,” Ava says, going into the house. She comes back moments later with his keys. “I'm glad they were easy to find. God, that house gives me the shivers. Like the negative energy seeped into the walls or something.” She rubs her arms as if she's cold. I take her hand and give her some happy energy. “Thanks, babe.”

“Anything for my girl.”

“I like being your girl,” she says. “Would I still be your girl even if I wasn't human?”

“You'll always be mine, human or not.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I like thinking I belong to you.”

It is not in a possessive way. I simply meant that she will always belong to me as the one girl, human or otherwise that is mine. That I can... No. I can’t think the word, or let myself feel it.

“Are you okay?”

“I am fine.”

Close. I am getting close to the flame that will end my existence. I will have to be careful.

Ava

Peter drives my car to the car place and I drive Jamie's truck. He takes me out to lunch and we walk around Brunswick while we wait. He holds my hand, lets me steal kisses and makes me laugh. We sit in the park and watch people play with their dogs.

“This is a nice human afternoon,” I say, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

“I like our human time.”

“Me, too. I wish it could be like this all the time,” I say without thinking.

“Do you wish I were human?”

“No! I didn't mean that. I love you and who you are. I just meant —” He silences me with a finger on my lips.

“I know. I wish that, too.”

I get periodic messages from Tex, and I ask her what they're doing with Jamie, but she won't tell me. I even try calling her, but she doesn't answer.

“I really wonder about that girl sometimes.”

The truck looks amazing when we go to pick it up. Instead of a white/gray, it's now a shiny black, complete with a wax coating that will resist rust. The sales guy was very persuasive and I had quite a bit of cash from Viktor. He shelled out hundreds like he was handing out candy. Tex's eyes went wide at the amount, but she kept her mouth shut. I have no doubt that plenty of those hundreds are going to be spent on buying her shiny things.

We meet back up at the high school because it's the best central location. I pull in with the truck and Peter comes in behind me with my car.

Tex and Viktor are by her car, and I see Jamie, arms crossed, looking surly. He also looks sad. Helena and Brooke are MIA, which surprises me because I thought Brooke would be attached to his hip. Something has gone on between those two, and I intend to get it out of him.

“What's this?” he says when I hop out of the truck.

“Your new/old truck. I had it painted. Surprise.” I gesture to the truck like a car model. I should have made a sign or had some confetti or something. I always forget these things if I don't write them down.

His mouth drops open. “You did what?”

“I know you've always wanted your truck painted. I wanted to do the interior, but I didn't have the funds.” Well, I could have the funds if I asked Viktor for them, but I didn't want to be a gold digger.

“Is that why Tex kidnapped me?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Why didn't you just ask to borrow the truck?” he says, coming closer and running his hand over the paint job. “That would have been easier than forcing me to go see a special screening of Dirty Dancing.”

“Tex, you did not.”

She puts her chin in the air. “I will not give up until he says that Patrick Swayze has talent and that nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

“I'm not going to say that if you make me see it a million times.” Jamie's still going over the paint job, and I can see the flicker of happiness on his face. “It's good. Where did you take it?”

“That place over in Brunswick. You know the one that's always on TV?”

“Wow,” he says, feeling the slickness of the coating. “Why did you do this?”

“I've wanted to do something for you for a while. To apologize for being such a crappy friend the past couple of months. I lied to you and hid things from you, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Jamie,” I say, walking over and putting my arms around him. I don't care if he hugs me back, but I need him to know that I love him and I need him in my life. I don't really care if everyone else sees me.

“I'm sorry too, Jamie. I knew Ava's secret and I didn't share it with you. But you knew about her mom and didn't share it with me. So I guess we're even, yes?”

Jamie finally returns my hug, kissing the top of my head and messing with my hair. “You went all out, Ave. Thank you.”

“You're not still mad at me, are you?”

He sighs. “I'd be a horrible friend if I said yes, so no. I am not mad. Just disappointed that you didn't feel like you could confide in me about something like that.”

“Forgive me, too!” Tex throws herself into our hug, and Jamie puts his arm around her.

“What am I going to do with you two?” We laugh and fall against the truck, Jamie struggling to keep both of us upright. “What do they think of this?” He means Viktor and Peter.

“They do what we tell them,” Tex says. “We wear the pants. Right, baby?”

“If you say so,” Viktor says. I just wink at Peter and he blinks back.

“Whipped. They're totally whipped,” Jamie says.

“We could say the same about you,” Tex says, jostling his shoulder.

“I guess,” Jamie says, blushing. I tickle him in the stomach and he wiggles away. “You're the best, Ave.”

No, I'm not, but he smiles and I almost believe him anyway.

***

“Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!” Aj calls when I walk in the house. She dives at me and gives me a huge hug. Her blood overwhelms me, but I braced myself before I walked in, and I've got Peter's hand on my back.

“Hey, Aj. Can you let me breathe now?”

“Sure, kiddo. How are you?”

“Same old, same old.” I just have a psycho immortal after me, both of my best friends are involved with immortals, my mother has terminal cancer, and I have finals. Nothing major.

“Oh come on, school's almost out. What shenanigans are you going to get up to? I'm sure they'll involve this guy,” she says, pointing to Peter. “Hello, again, Peter.”

“Nice to see you, Jenny.” He keeps his hand on my back and Aj notices. I give her a look and she stops staring.

“I brought whoopie pies. Sorry, Peter. I forgot about the lactose-intolerant thing.”

“That is fine. I will watch Ava enjoy them.”

“Okay, then,” Aj says, giving him a weird look. I guess I'm so used to Peter saying strange things that I'm immune.

We have dinner, which Peter doesn't eat, and whoopie pies, which Peter doesn't eat. The last time Aj was over, I purposely stabbed myself with a knife because I felt so guilty. Peter keeps squeezing my hand and I know he's trying to tell me not to do it again.

“So I heard the cat is out of the bag,” Aj says, gesturing to the wilted flowers that are starting to make me sick with their sweet smell. I want to throw them from the roof and watch them smash on the ground, but I don't tell Mom that. They make me sick. Just a reminder of the fact that everyone who's anyone knows that my mother is going to die.

“It's a relief to finally tell everyone. Although, the phone has been ringing off the hook and we have more tuna casseroles than you can shake a stick at,” Mom says.

Aj throws up her hands, as if pleading to the gods. “Why do they make tuna? Does anyone like tuna casserole?”

“Well, I might like it if it didn't make me violently ill. I'm sick enough as it is,” Mom says, trying to make a joke, but it falls flat.

“So you're doing okay, though? Otherwise?”

“I'm feeling as well as can be expected. I'm going to start having appointments once a week to see how I'm doing and do tests and so forth.”

“So you're good, though?”

“It's not happening yet. We'll call you when it gets close.”

“I'll be here as soon as I can. I'd fly here if I could,” Aj says, taking Mom's hand.

“I know you would.” They hug and I want to cry. I look at Peter.

“Everyone wants wings,” I say so low that only he can hear me. He pulls me in for a hug.

“You can't always get what you want,” he whispers in my ear.

“What are you two whispering about over there?” Aj says, breaking our embrace.

“Nothing.”

“Don't you get all lovey-dovey on me, Ava. You're not that kind of girl.”

“What kind of girl am I?”

“You're my awesome niece who doesn't give boys the time of day and would rather read a book than get wasted.”

“Well...” I say. I was that girl once upon a time, but that was a long time ago. “People change, I guess.” I'm uncomfortable with everyone staring at me.

“I guess,” Aj says.

“Dessert?” Mom tries to get up to get the whoopie pies, but collapses back into her seat, clutching her head.

“Claire?! What's wrong?” Dad holds onto her as she groans. Aj gets up and goes to her other side.

“Claire, talk to me.”

“I'm fine,” she says, opening her eyes and looking at all of us. “I just had a little head rush. I'm fine. Nothing to fuss about. Everyone sit down. You're being ridiculous.”

“Call Dr. Chase,” Dad says, snapping his fingers at me. I look at Mom for confirmation.

“Sam, I'm fine. Just let me have some aspirin and a little rest. I have an appointment on Wednesday. There will be plenty of time for him to poke and prod me. Things like this are going to be normal near the end.” I hate how she says, 'the end.'

“Claire, I don't want you saying that it's nothing just so we'll leave you alone. It's not going to happen,” Dad says.

“Can everyone back up for a moment?” Mom's voice is sharp for the first time. “I just need some air.”

We move, but not very far. She braces her hands on the table and gets up.

“I just need some space, please. Thanks.” She goes to her bedroom, and we all stare at each other, unsure of what to do.

Dad moves to go after her, but Aj grabs his arm. “Let her have a few moments. It's hard being under the spotlight, Sam.”

Dad looks at her hand, holding his arm like he wants to wrench it away, but he sighs and sits down. “I just don't know what to do anymore. She keeps getting sicker and I don't know what to do. If I take her in, they'll just pump her full of drugs and then she'll refuse to take them. I don't want to fight with her, but I hate seeing her feel bad. What do I do, Jenny?”

“I don't know, Sam. There isn't a good answer.” She gives him a hug, which is nuts because they aren't normally affectionate with each other. I glance at Peter, but he never looks uncomfortable, and even if he is, he hides it. Although, he's lived through some crazy situations, so my family drama is probably tame in comparison.

“I think I should go,” Peter says, trying to excuse himself. Well played.

“I'll walk you out.”

“Sorry about this, Peter,” Dad says. My mouth drops open.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Mr. Sullivan. Your family is going through a hard time, and I wish I could do something to make it better.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.” Dad and Peter have a moment of understanding, and then Peter nods and walks out of the dining room while I stand there, gaping like a fish.

“I'm going to walk him out,” I say.

Aj and Dad go back to talking about Mom as I walk Peter to the door so he can run home. Dad still hasn't noticed that he doesn't ever drive to my house. I guess he's got too much else on his mind.

“I love you.”

“Adore,” he says, kissing me softly before shutting the door.

I stand still, feeling him hop up on the roof and cross to my room. Apart from the fact that I need him near me, I love knowing that he's in my room waiting for me. It makes me feel safe.

I walk in on Dad and Aj having another moment.

“I don't know what to do,” Dad says, raking his hands through his hair. It reminds me of that breakdown he had in the kitchen a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen him have one since, but that doesn't mean he didn't have them in private.

“You know you can call me anytime. I have my phone with me always. There's nothing I can't abandon to help my big brother, okay?”

“Sure.”

“Dad? You don't have to do this alone,” I say. I've wanted to say that for a long time, but I was so angry for a while. Guess I've gotten past that stage of my grief.

“I'm sorry, Ava. I haven't been a very good dad lately.”

“It's okay,” I say, joining the hug. I've never hugged so much in one day.

“It's really not, but thank you for saying so. We need to do some more talking, you and I,” he says, looking down at me. Sometimes it hits me just how much I look like him. I'm my father's daughter, whether I want to admit it or not.

“Not tonight,” I say. I've got too much other crap going on. I've got to start working on my finals projects, which actually might end up being more time consuming than if I would have just done finals the normal way. C'est la vie.

“I agree. I'm going to go check in Claire. Sorry about your visit, Jen.”

“It's okay. Ava and I will have some girl time. Right?” She slings her arm around my shoulder.

“Right,” I say, wrinkling my nose at her. She leans forward and gently nips it.

“Okay.” He takes a deep breath, as if he's preparing to give a speech or go into battle or something. Maybe he is.

“So, why don't you tell me what's really going on between you and that boy,” Aj says as we settle on the couch.

“We're dating.”

“And you love him.”

“Yeah, I do.” We covered this ground already.