Neither (19 page)

“You didn't even try. And you, too?” He glares at Tex. For once she doesn't have a snappy response and has the sense to look guilty.

“It just kind of happened,” she says.

“So you told Tex, but not me. I can't believe you, Ava.” Everyone's attention is focused on the three humans.

“I'm sorry,” I say, tears spilling over my face. Jamie and I have never had a fight like this. Never. The clearing is silent, and no one wants to break it.

“Just tell me one thing,” Jamie says, “have you given him your blood?”

“Yes,” I say, because I'm not lying.

“He Claimed her. That one, too,” Brooke says. Thanks.

“Claimed? What does that mean?” Jamie says, looking around for an answer.

“It's complicated,” I say. “I don't have enough time to explain it now. We need to get back to school.”

“You can go, I'm staying here,” Jamie says, looking at Brooke. I see that face again. The one that looks like he's been bonked on the head. He's got it bad. Just what we need. Another immortal.

“Why don't you go back to school while Brooke and I have a little chat?”

“I'm not leaving her,” Jamie says, moving to stand in front of Brooke. As if he can protect her. That's what Jamie does. He's a protector.

“Don't worry, sweet boy. I'm not going to hurt her. I just want to get to know her. It's not often we find a parentless child.” Helena's tone is no longer that of a cute teen girl. She's the grown immortal, taking charge.

“I don't want to talk to you,” Brooke says. She's getting defensive and things are going to escalate.

“I'm staying with her.”

I glance at Tex, and we both realize that we owe him.

“We'll tell everyone that you went home sick.” He looks like he's going to say something, but then he doesn't. The cold look in his eyes is enough to break my heart.

“I'm sorry,” I say as Peter scoops me up in his arms for the run back to my car.

Jamie doesn't answer.

I cry all the way back to school.

Fifteen

Brooke

It was her. The girl I'd been looking for. Black hair, big green eyes. I knew the moment I saw her that this was the girl. The one I'd come to find. Jamie was right. Ivan was right. She was the kind of pretty that took a second to see. It wasn't obvious. She clung to the noctalis holding her, even after he set her down on her feet. Her voice was different than I thought, deeper than her small size suggested. This was the voice he'd fallen for. This was the girl I'd come to find.

Now that I'd found her, what was I going to do?

They had two other noctali with them, one who also had a Claimed, and one who didn't. I wasn't going to trust them farther than I could throw them.

His friends told me that he belonged to them. That he was theirs. Well, he was mine now. They didn't feel the way about him that I did. I could tell that once upon a time, he had loved this girl, Ava, but he had given up long ago. His heart was free and I had taken it. He was mine.

They finally backed down and left me with the other noctalis. Helena. The ancient one. I could smell that she had been immortal for a long time. It was an old smell of wisdom, time and dust.

“Well, you are young, aren't you?” she said.

“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing. I just want to get to know you.” Her voice was clear and soothing. I didn't want to be tricked by it. I didn't trust any of them.

“What brings you here? Did your mother bring you here? Or your father?” She wasn't talking about my human mother or father.

“No. I came alone.”

“How long have you been changed?”

“Two weeks.”

She fired questions at me, and I answered them with as few words as possible. Jamie stood by me, a warm pillar. He would not leave me. When Helena was done with me, she turned to Jamie.

“You have taken a dangerous path, dude.” He was surprised at her use of the modern slang. So was I.

“I'm not a moron.”

“I never said you were. Just that you seem awfully trusting of a person you've just met. Even if that person wasn't an immortal who wants your blood.”

“I've never touched him,” I said.

“I know,” Helena said with a smile. It looked so natural on her, but she'd had hundreds of years to practice. “But you are very young, and blood is still very new for you. I'm surprised you've managed to last this long. You must care for him.”

“I do,” I said without hesitation. Jamie must know that I felt for him. That I would do anything for him, even though I had only known him for such a short time. That didn’t matter. Time didn’t matter anymore, at least to me.

“I don't care about who she is. I care about her. The rest doesn't matter.”

“Are you prepared to give your life for that?”

“She's not going to hurt me.” He was so certain. It made me want to dance and laugh in the sunlight.

“Ah, youth,” Helena said, blinking a sigh. “Well, just in case, because your friends are worried about you, I'm just going to hang around for a little while.”

“You're going to babysit us?” I asked. I didn’t like the idea, but there was little I could do to stop her. I had not tried to attack another noctalis, but something told me that if we were in a fight, she would win. “Fine,” I said. “It's okay,” I said to Jamie.

“Are you sure?”

“I'm not going to hurt you, but even I can't stop wanting you that way. If something happened, I wouldn't be able to stop.”

“I think you would.” I knew he did, and that was the problem. He trusted me too much.

Sixteen

Peter

The situation with Jamie is unexpected, but I knew the moment we saw him that he was involved with a noctalis. It cannot be a coincidence. There is no reason that Brooke should end up in Sussex. There is something she isn’t telling us, and I hope Helena will be able to get it out of her.

I didn't tell Ava about my suspicions because she is so upset already.

“You're hiding something from me,” she says as we drive back to her house after school.

“It is nothing you need to worry about.”

“Nuh uh. You don't get to do that,” she says, shaking her head. “I have to share all my inner crap with you. I can't read your mind, but that's not an excuse to not tell me things.”

She is right, but I don't want to burden her further.

“I swear to God, Peter. Sometimes I want to strangle you.”

Her voice is angry, but really she is frustrated. I understand, but it is not going to make me tell her. “I am sorry.”

“No, you're not. You're being the big bad immortal who knows everything and I'm just the stupid human.” Her anger with me is not entirely directed at the fact that there is something I won't tell her. She's angry with herself and sad about her friend.

“I am sorry about Jamie,” I say, touching her arm. She flinches away from me. “Ava?”

“I just feel horrible, Peter.”

Tears gush from her eyes. She has only been able to hold them back for so long. I reach over to brush them away. She tries to push my hand away, but I don't let her.

“Pull the car over, Ava.” She obeys and I pull her into my lap, stroking her hair and letting her cry.

“I just can't believe how he looked at me. He's never looked at me like that. Never.” She rubs her face in my shirt. “I hate myself.”

“Shh, he'll forgive you. It is always darkest before the dawn,” I say, using her mother's quote. It elicits a laugh from her.

“You're almost as good as Mom at doing that.” She looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes. I wonder what it feels like to cry. I swipe my finger across her face and taste her tears.

“That would be totally gross if anyone else did that.” She sighs, putting her head against my chest again. “When is the drama going to be over? I mean, I can't see a day when it's just going to be the two of us. No crazy Mom, no worrying about Viktor turning Tex and now I have to worry about Jamie being a blood bank.” She covers her face with her hands and groans. “Why do these things happen?”

“I am sorry, Ava. If I could make it go away, I would.”

“I know.” We stay there for a few more moments, and then Viktor, with Texas on his back, and Helena appear.

“They really have to stop doing that. It's freaky,” Ava says, getting out of the car to meet them.

“We have to go, because we have to work, but do you want us to come over later tonight for a powwow? Maybe around nine?” Tex says.

“Sounds good. Just hang out in the backyard and we'll meet you,” Ava says.

“Works for me,” Tex says. “Onward, faithful steed!” she says with her fist raised. Viktor complies, vanishing into the trees. What a pair they make.

“You can take that worry off your face, Ava. He's fine,” Helena says.

“Who the hell is she? What is she doing here?” Ava says, barraging Helena with questions.

“Well, I'm not quite sure I got to that. She said she was changed and doesn't remember who it was. She said she woke up and didn't know where she was and started traveling, realizing that she needed blood. It all sounds very far-fetched. I am sure she is hiding something, but she's a very good liar, even though she's new. I think if I had more time with her, I'd be able to find out her real story.”

“How's Jamie?”

“Attached. She's got him under a spell, but that would have happened if she was human. Too bad she isn't.”

“Jamie? This is my Jamie you're talking about? I just can't believe it. He's never gotten attached to anyone, and he just met her. How is that possible?” Ava says.

“Love,” Helena says.

Ava scoffs in her head, but looks at me.

“Stranger things have happened,” I say, kissing her hand.

“This is batshit crazy.”

“Indeed.” I can't help but agree with her.

Helena blinks. “Well, I didn't know leaving India I'd encounter more drama than on one of those reality shows. I love those things.”

“Can you do me a favor?” Ava asks.

“Sure thing,” Helena says.

“Can you watch Jamie and make sure he's okay? That she's not going to hurt him? I don't think he'll take my calls and I have to know he's okay.”

“Of course. No problem. Although I won't be the only one standing outside of his window and watching.”

“I really didn't need to hear that,” Ava says. I try to push her worry away. Helena will take care of Jamie.

“He'll be safe.”

“Do you promise?”

“Sorry, babe. I don't do promises, but I give you my word that I won't let her harm him. She's new and fast, but I'm older and stronger,” she says, flexing her arm.

“What about Di?”

“Let's deal with one thing at a time, okay?” Helena says, giving me a look. I blink, telling her I understand. Ava doesn't catch it.

“See you later.” She waves and is gone.

“No more,” Ava groans, putting her hands over her eyes again. “Hey, I have something to bounce off you. My teachers are doing this thing where they're letting me off the hook for my exams because of Mom. I don't want special treatment, because people are already talking about me, but I don't think I can handle studying for finals and all this other crap.”

“You should do whatever you feel comfortable, but don't push yourself too far just so people won't talk about you. Who cares what they think?”

“Well, it's not just that. I don't know. I don't want to use what's happening as an excuse to be a slacker. There are other people who go through terrible things that don't get a pass. It just seems kind of like cheating.”

“It is not cheating to accept help.”

“It feels that way.” I take both of her hands, shooting pleasant feelings into her body.

“Whoa. That was nuts,” she says, her eyes wide. “It was like a shot of happy drugs. Do it again.” I comply and she giggles. “Okay, I think I need a shot of that every morning. It's better than caffeine.”

“Anything for you,” I say, kissing both of her hands. It is so easy for me to be happy around her. Why should I not share it? We smile at one another and she lifts herself up on her toes to give me a kiss.

Ava

It's actually a relief to walk into my house and deal with my human problems. Dad is in a better mood, and he and Mom are giggling on the couch at something.

“You're not doing anything that's going to scar me for life if I come in there, are you?”

“No, come in,” Mom calls, giggling.

Dad's tickling her mercilessly. I haven't seen him do that in a long time. I worry that it's not good for her, but then I figure what the hell. If you can't enjoy a good tickle fight, life's not worth living.

“What did you do today?” I say, flopping down on the recliner.

“Well, we went for a walk, Sam helped me in the garden and we were just about to start making dinner. Nothing too dramatic.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. How was school?” I want to just tell her it was fine, but I can't.

“Well, word has gotten out.” I don't really need to say more. They glance at each other. Dad leans his elbows on his knees and Mom clasps her hands together. Parental listening poses. I tell them about how all my teachers have decided to let me off the hook for finals.

“I mean, even if I do crappy the rest of the year, they're all going to give me A's. It doesn't seem fair, but I don't know what to do about it. I mean, I would really, really like to not have to study for finals.”

Mom and Dad do that silent conversation thing and it reminds me of Rasha and Kamir.

“I think you should take whatever they will give you. You have far more to deal with than anyone your age should. Take the help.”

“It feels like cheating. Other people have bad lives and they don't get free passes.”

“Life isn't fair, baby. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't take something when it's handed to you.”

“You didn't call the school and tell them, did you?”

“I didn't have to. I'm sure Mae or Liz told someone and it got out pretty fast.” The flowers are still all around the house, but they are starting to wilt, drooping in their plastic vases.

“Great.”

“Don't worry, Ava-Claire. It'll work out, okay? You just have to believe that.” She sounds like Peter.