Nervous (3 page)

I wanted to make the eight o’clock service at church but barely got there before the sermon at the eleven o’clock one. Reverend Townsend preached from his soul. I was always moved by his words. The newest member of the deacon board kept staring at me, making me nervous. He was attractive and appeared to be in his early thirties. I couldn’t have handled it if he’d actually said something to me. I didn’t want to take the chance that he might approach me after the service, so I stayed long enough to tithe and then left before the recessional.

October 1985
Second Grade
Pembroke Pines, Florida

Jonquinette sat on the playground, wishing she was anyplace else but there. Every day her mother dropped her off at school, she dreaded walking up the front steps and through the large metal doors. She loved her teachers and desired to gain knowledge but the way the children bullied her was depressing to a seven-year-old girl.

The teasing never stopped, nor did the names. Retard. Fatty. Ugmo. Jonquinette’s self-esteem was nonexistent, having long been destroyed by many students; one in particular. Her name was Brenda Morrison and all the kids adored her or at least pretended to adore her. There was nothing really special about her. She just carried herself and talked about herself like she was unique to the point where all the students started to believe her.

This particular day, Jonquinette was sitting on a bench while all the other second graders enjoyed their recess time after lunch. She was staring at the sky and daydreaming, hoping that a bird would come whisk her away and drop her in a better place. She hated the outfit she had on: a pair of pink capris and a top that had way too many colors in the pattern. She preferred darker colors to match her mood: depressed.

Her mother had spent hours the night before cornrowing her hair for the school week ahead. On Mondays, everyone was always overactive after spending the weekend at parks and playing sports. Jonquinette always kept to herself on weekends. She didn’t know how to make friends and since no one ever invited her anywhere, she would just sit on the front porch and watch cars drive by at rare intervals.

Jonquinette couldn’t wait until the school day was over. Just three more hours and she could escape. She was lost in her own little world when Brenda marched up to her with three other little girls in tow.

“What are you doing, Fatty?” Brenda hissed at her. “Where’s my money?”

Jonquinette shrugged. Every single day Brenda would demand that she give her a quarter. Most days she would manage to sneak into her parents’ bedroom and grab a quarter off her father’s valet tray. However, it had been an impossible task that morning.

Brenda leaned down and punched her on the arm. “You heard me, Retard. Where’s my quarter?”

Jonquinette lowered her eyes to the ground. “I don’t have it.”

“Excuse me?” Brenda asked angrily. “Did you just say you don’t have my money?”

One of the other little girls, Francine, said, “That’s what she said, Brenda. You gonna beat her up?”

Brenda glanced around the playground to make sure all the teachers were occupied, trying to make sure no one was falling off equipment or butting in line at the slide. She turned back to Jonquinette and glared down at her. “No, I’m not gonna beat her up. Not today. I’m just gonna slap her.”

Before Jonquinette could block it, Brenda’s hand smashed against her left cheek, causing an incredible pain to shoot through her entire body.

All the little girls started laughing and doubling over to hold their stomachs. All except Brenda, who issued a warning. “Tomorrow you better have my money. Two quarters instead of one or I’m gonna beat you up for real.”

Jonquinette broke out in tears. How could someone be so cruel? She never bothered any of them and yet they continued to torment her day after day. She turned her eyes back up to the sky, waiting on that magical bird to come swoop her up.

Two minutes later, the tears were gone and anger replaced the sad expression on Jonquinette’s face. Jude had had enough.

Brenda and two of her groupies were in the little girls’ room cheesing in the mirrors and talking about going to the county carnival that weekend. They didn’t even glance at the door when Jude came in. Their mistake.

Jude slipped into a stall and closed the door, not bothering to lock it. She wouldn’t be in there but a few seconds. When she came back out, she had the ceramic toilet top in her hands, clutching it like a paddle. By the time they saw Jude bring it up over her head, it was too late. She was already swinging. She nailed Francine right across the stomach first. She screamed and fell down on her knees. Then she went for Rhonda, another student who constantly had Brenda’s back. Rhonda tried to duck but Jude stepped on her foot, causing her to stand back up partially to lift her foot and grab her toes. That’s when Jude got her across the right shoulder. Rhonda fell to the tile floor but was in too much pain to even voice a scream.

Brenda just stood there at first, wondering if she could make it to the door safely without getting a major beatdown. It was obvious that she couldn’t so she resorted to intimidation. “Fatty, you know you’re not gonna touch me with that. That would mean I’d have to beat you up every day for the rest of the school year.”

Jude let out this horrendous laugh. “You must think you’re talking to Jonquinette.”

Brenda eyed her with confusion.

“Sorry, Jonquinette’s not here right now.”

Brenda asked, “What are you talking about?”

“I have a message for you,” Jude responded. “Don’t ever talk to or touch Jonquinette again or you’ll have to deal with me.”

With that, Jude slammed the ceramic top across Brenda’s head and three teeth popped out of her mouth on impact. She hit her three more times with it: once more across the face, once in the ribs and once on the knee. Brenda lay motionless and Jude was satisfied. She looked in the mirror. While Jonquinette could stand to lose some weight, there were numerous kids her size or larger in second grade.

She stared at her reflection. “Don’t worry. I’m here to protect you.”

Jonquinette didn’t know what was happening. All she knew was that the physical education teacher, Mr. Turner, was restraining her for some reason. They were loading Brenda, Francine, and Rhonda into ambulances in front of the school. There were police cars in front of the building and everyone was glaring at her and shaking their heads.

She saw her parents pull up in their Volvo station wagon and practically jump the curb coming to a halt. The look on their faces as they emerged from the vehicle was frightening.

Jonquinette fell down on her knees and cried.

“What did I do?” she screamed out as her mother approached her with outstretched arms. “I didn’t do anything!”

July 1987
Summer Vacation

Jonquinette came flying out the front door of her house; excited that the weather was so nice. She’d had her share of cartoons for the morning and craved some fresh air. Her parents had offered to send her to summer camp but she couldn’t imagine dealing with the same nasty kids during summer vacation that she had to deal with during the school year.

It was sunny but not too hot. She had lost her favorite ball underneath the porch the day before and got down on her knees to see if she could locate it. She spotted it about four feet under the steps and went to find a large enough stick to retrieve it.

After much effort, Jonquinette managed to get the ball out and was elated. She started bouncing it up and down and fell in love with the pastel colors of it all over again. She accidentally bounced it too high and it went over the neighbor’s picket fence.

Jonquinette panicked. Mrs. Greer wasn’t always the nicest person in the world. Besides, Shadow, her poodle, tended to bark a lot and even though he seemed harmless, Jonquinette wasn’t sure whether he was a biter or not.

She didn’t see anyone peeking out the windows and Shadow was nowhere in sight so she decided to chance hopping over the fence to get the ball and hopping right back over.

Jonquinette had got it and was climbing back over when Mrs. Greer yanked her front door open and started screaming, “You little wench! What are you doing on my yard?”

Jonquinette hung there with both feet straddling the fence but neither touching the ground. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Greer. I was just getting my ball.”

Mrs. Greer came catapulting down the steps. “You have no business in my yard. Not to get a ball or anything else. My yard is my pride and joy. Mr. Greer, God rest his soul, spent his entire life making sure this yard was beautifully kept and I will not have little brats destructing my property.”

Jonquinette was at a loss for words as she dismounted the fence. She went to sit on the front steps, lowered her face into her lap, and cried. Mrs. Greer went back into her house and slammed the door.

Jude was sitting on the stoop playing jacks when Mrs. Greer came back out of the house with her pocketbook in one hand and Shadow’s leash in the other. She paused halfway down her walkway and leered at Jude. Jude leered right back at her.

“When your parents get home, I want to have a word with them,” Mrs. Greer lashed out at Jude. “I’m not going to have any more of your mess.”

Jude didn’t say a word. Just hissed between her lips as she watched Shadow take a dump on the front yard; the so-called “beautifully kept” front yard.

“Why is it that I can’t get a ball off your yard but that little runt can take dumps all over it? Huh, bitch? Why is that?”

Mrs. Greer was shocked and at a loss for something to say for a moment. “Just wait till your parents get home!”

Jude smirked and stuck out her tongue.

After Mrs. Greer and the mutt loaded into her Impala and drove away, Jude grew angrier by the second. “Why do you take crap off people, Jon? That bitch ain’t shit!”

In the middle of the night, Mrs. Greer’s scream could be heard two blocks away. Jude lay in bed grinning while Mr. and Mrs. Pierce turned on all the lights in the house as a bang came at the door. Fifteen minutes later, they came into the bedroom where Jude still lay amused and sat down on opposite sides of the bed. Jude didn’t want to be bothered with the bullshit so she let Jon take back over.

Jon was stunned to see both her parents sitting on her bed. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Jonquinette, someone poisoned Mrs. Greer’s dog, Shadow,” her daddy said. “Do you know anything about that?”

“Shadow? No, I don’t know anything about it.”

Her parents both eyed her suspiciously.

“Are you sure?” her father quizzed again.

“I’m sure. Why would someone do something like that, anyway?”

Her mother said, “Mrs. Greer said you two had an altercation earlier today. Something about you climbing over her fence to get a ball.”

“Yes, I did get my ball and she did yell at me but that was it.”

“She said you yelled back at her later when she was on the way to the store.”

“No, I didn’t,” Jonquinette said on the brink of tears. “I didn’t see her at all after that.”

Her parents eyed each other with confused expressions. Finally, her mother patted her on the hand. “Go back to sleep. Everything will be all right.”

The next morning, Jonquinette headed back upstairs after breakfast to get dressed for the day. There wasn’t much to do but she figured she could ride her bike around the block. She entered her room to find both her parents standing there. Her father had an empty can of rat poison in his hand. “I found this under your bed.”

Jonquinette fell on the floor and cried. “I didn’t do anything!”

April 1991
Seventh Grade

Jonquinette sat in the bleachers, faking a muscle spasm as usual. She hated to participate in gym class. It was ironic because at home, she had become obsessed with physical fitness. All of the baby fat was long gone and she had an hourglass shape. Many of the boys that used to tease her in elementary school were now sweating her to go out with them. She was too nervous to even think about the prospect of dating.

Sheila Vale hated Jonquinette but no one truly understood why. Jonquinette kept to herself, tried to concentrate on her studies, and went directly home from school every single day.

Sheila came over to the bleachers, dressed in her gym uniform, and folded her arms over her chest. “So what’s supposed to be wrong with you today?”

Jonquinette eyed her. “I have a muscle spasm.”

“Again? You don’t look like you have a damn thing wrong with you.”

Jonquinette didn’t respond. She waited for someone to come to her rescue and a few seconds later, someone did.

Mrs. Yates, their teacher, yelled toward them. “Sheila, what are you doing? Leave Jonquinette alone. She’s not feeling well.”

Sheila smacked her lips and walked off.

After class ended, Jonquinette was in the locker room organizing her locker when she heard several people approach her from behind. She turned to find Sheila and a few of her flunkies staring at her.

Sheila stepped forward. “I don’t believe there’s a damn thing wrong with you. Take off your clothes.”

“Take off my clothes?” Jonquinette asked in disbelief.

“Yes, take them off or I’ll take them off for you.”

Everyone had gathered around laughing. Not one single girl seemed to be on Jonquinette’s side. She looked toward Mrs. Yates’ office but she wasn’t in there.

“I’m not taking off my clothes, Sheila.” Jonquinette slammed her locker, grabbed her bookbag, and tried to get past the group.

“Excuse me.”

Sheila grabbed her arm. “Maybe you didn’t hear me good enough. I said take your clothes off.”

Jonquinette started breathing heavily. She saw no way to escape. She blinked twice and then
Jude
glared at Sheila before speaking in a threatening tone. “If you don’t get out of my way, I will break every bone in your body. You don’t want to fuck with me. Just ask Brenda Morrison.”

Fear came over Sheila’s face. Everyone had heard about what Jonquinette had done in second grade and many of them had attended the same school. Brenda and the other two girls had never returned to school, but Jonquinette had returned after a week’s suspension.

Jude continued, “Now, are you going to move out my way or do I need to start putting foot to ass.”

“Damn!” one girl yelled out. “Check out Jonquinette breaking bad.”

A roar of laughter engulfed the room. Mrs. Yates came in and said, “Break it up! Next period starts in five minutes!”

The next day, Jude asked for a bathroom pass during her second period calculus class. Instead of going to the bathroom, she headed to the girls’ locker room and retrieved the three bottles of hair remover she had placed there earlier that morning.

By the time gym class started, fourth period, the dirt had already been done. It was a particularly sweaty period because Mrs. Yates had them run around the indoor track for an entire thirty minutes. Because one girl misbehaved, they were all being punished.

Jude fell right in with the rest of them, shocking just about everyone there. Not only did she run; she outran all of them for the entire thirty minutes. Jude wanted to show the world their bomb-ass body.

After the thirty minutes were up, Mrs. Yates told them to hit the showers and that’s when Jude started acting like Jon again. She went into a stall to change and skipped the shower. For good reason.

“Oh my God!” was the first thing she heard someone yell out. “What happened to your hair?”

Then there was just a bunch of screaming as Jude strolled out of the locker room, laughing her ass off.

Jonquinette found the three empty bottles in her locker the following day. Most of the females in her gym class were no-shows that day. They were all at home wondering what they could do about their baldness. Jonquinette held the bottles in her hands, sat down on the bench, and started crying.