Never Been Kissed: A Never Been Novel (17 page)

“Because they came in a packaged deal. Take one, take them all.” I bite my lip, stomach growling and wondering what I’m doing two feet away from the food. “What the frak am I going to do with him?”

“You better not be talking about Tommy when you have MacLaine right over there.” She puts a hand on my shoulder, giving me an affectionate squeeze. “And whatever you want to, you lucky bitch. It will be
glorious
. I can just tell.”

“God, if you’re lying about this, I will make your life a living hell. So hellish, in fact, that Dean Winchester’s stay in the fiery pit w
ill be like a bloody vacation.”

Katie blinks at me. “I love how I have no idea what you’re talking about half the time. I always end up Google-ing half the shit
that comes out of your mouth.”

“I’m expanding your knowledge.” I take another sip of Corona, letting the bubbles hit my stomach.
Hunter’s talking with Eli, who’s talking to MacLaine while staring into his glass of scotch.

“Shut up. Let’s eat, I’m
starving
.” Katie sounds like she’s been starving her entire life, instead of a few hours. “I could eat General Tao every single day for the rest of my life and die happy. Wait, have you kissed him yet?” she whispers as we make our way to the food.

I give her a look. “It’s been five days since I last saw you, don’t you think I would have told you something so
monumental?
”

She nods. “Right
.” She looks over my shoulder and nods again. “Maybe you should go talk to your man. He doesn’t look too happy.”

My man. Bloody hell, that sounds awesome.

I glance back to where Katie indicated, and stop piling food on my plate. Hunter’s nodding but in a way that tells me he’s not listening to a word Eli’s saying. As Eli moves to get a plate of food, Josh, Alex and Tommy come forward to keep him engaged in conversation. I watch Hunter’s eyes rove over every person in the room until he finds me.

And with that one look, I know
what to do. I register the paleness of his face, and the way his lips look white. But his eyes do me in – they’re glassy and lost. Tearing my eyes away, I work fast.

I make a plate for Hunter, high with protein and vegetables. I snag a glass and pour some apple juice from the fridge – without asking Alex’s permission
‘cause I’m a badass like that.

Hunter is surrounded
by all my boys. He has a red cup of most likely beer in his palm, frowning and listening to what Josh is saying. His eyes hit me as I come closer to the group, unsure if I’m interrupting something important – like fantasy hockey pool or whatever.

“Here,” I say, holding out the plate to him. I included a napkin and fork along with it, doing a trade off so I get his cup in my hand, having left my beer behind on the kitchen counter.
I make sure he gets the apple juice and watch him put it to his mouth, drink as his eyes slide shut.

I’m floored that he trusted me enough to get him apple juice without
saying anything.

“Jesus, what did you do? Give her the best orgasm of her life? Fuck, man, she
never
gets us plates of food, no matter how long we beg,” Tommy says, clapping Hunter hard on the shoulder, jostling his cup in his hand.

I’ve been electrocuted with shock and can’t move from my spot, tingles of embarrassment crashing over me. I can’t find words to speak – my tongue is paralyzed.

All I see is red, and it’s the color of Tommy’s blood spattering the walls after I’ve killed him for fraking embarrassing me.

In my head, I’ve killed him three times
, each more gruesome than the last. Decapitation, disembowelment and castration – in that order. My skin feels tight on my bones, and all my cells are vibrating, screaming for some small measure of revenge.

I keep staring dumbly at Tommy – the blue eyes, the light brown hair and wonder how I’ve made so many excuses for his behaviour in the past. Because I had a stupid crush. I snap back to the present, staring at the shocked faces of Josh, Alex and El
i looking between Hunter and I.

Tommy, with a grin on his face, eyes bright. Josh, eyebrows high, mouth open. Katie, flawless lipstick being chewed on as she wait
s for my reaction. Eli, hastily taking a drink and looking anywhere but at me.

And Hunter, imploring me with a gaze that is part sugar-low and part something that could look like love. The anger gets sucked back into a spot inside me, leaving me deflated and alone.
Josh explodes first – he who’s known Tommy the longest, and dealt with all his bullshit. “What the FUCK is wrong with you?”

Katie, Alex and Eli all join in,
a cacophony of what-the-fucks, asshole, and go-fuck-yourself.

I look at Hunter and feel like I’ve swallowed razors, while a donkey has kicked me in the gut repeatedly. His
blue eyes have darkened, and while his face appears calm and stoic, like a true hero, his eyes are telling a different story. They’re telling me that he can’t protect me because he needs food, because his body needs sugar.

I move toward him, taking the plate and the fork in my free hand, using my awesome skills of balance and grace (not!) to get him onto the couch in the living room, not giving a fraking FUCK if we ruin Alex’s carpet
if I drop some food.

“Why did you even drive if yo
u weren’t feeling well?” I growl, arranging his legs so the plate is on his thighs. I’m angry, and he’s not in the frame of mind to take it. But fuck, what if something happened to him? What would I do? What would Matty do? No, but really, what would I do? To be given a chance with someone who seems so wonderful, only for it to be snatched away?

“Eat. Now.”
I order, ignoring the shouts. The boys and Katie are still yelling at Tommy. I catch Katie looking at me and I point to the balcony door. She ushers everyone out, closing the patio door behind them.

I let out a breath, trying to settle my shaking organs by breathing in through my nose. Funny how my body goes from relaxed to DEFCON 1
when he’s feeling low.
Hunter continues to frown at his plate, glaring at the meat and veggies like they’ve personally done him harm and he’s thinking on his revenge.

“Would you eat, please? Hunter?”

His big hand is wrapped around the plastic fork, his scowl still in place.

“Eat first, and then you can cuss me out, if you want. Right now, I really need yo
u to eat. Please,” I beg. I’m not above begging. I wish I had his glucometer with me. I should’ve just asked for it and put it in my purse.

His body relaxes into the couch, and he stuffs food in his mouth
as fast as he can. I count up to ten minutes when the patio door opens and Josh comes to sit next to me.

“I’m sorry, man. Fucking Tommy’s a dick on normal days, he saves the side of egocentric asshole for when we have company,” Josh says, staring into his beer, elbows on his knees. “Is there anything you g
uys need in here?”

“Nah. We’re good, buddy, thanks. Actually, Josh? Do you mind giving us another fifteen minutes? I...I don’t think I want to talk to anybody just yet.” Yes, pull out the
introverted nerd card
and everyone will follow your suggestions.

Josh gives me a nod,
another kiss on the cheek and the patio door closes. I turn my attention back to Hunter and watch him eat. He’s demolished all the greens and is still chewing on the beef; his apple juice is gone.

“Feeling better?”

Hunter sighs, and leans back into the couch, legs splayed out in front of him. He keeps the plate on his thigh, but leaves the fork in it, eating the beef with his fingers. His eyes are at half-mast and I can’t tell why he’s looking at me like that.

“I couldn’t tell him to shut his fucking mouth. That’s me as your
friend
, Sera. I can’t even tell a guy who’s saying inappropriate things to shut the fuck up or I’ll beat his face in. Because I can’t do that, not when my sugars are low, or high. I’m only okay seventy percent of the time. Do you really want that as a friend?”

I shake my head, shoving hair behind my ears hard enough that I scrape the skin from behind my ear with my nails. Frak.

“You’re pissing me
off
. One fraking second, you’re all like, ‘yeah baby, give me that mouth’ and now you don’t even want to be my
friend
? Stop being an asshole, MacLaine! Decide what you fraking want, and stop playing goddamn games!”

His face gets tight, mouth set in a
snarl, eyes blazing. My heart beats faster, and I can’t seem to look away from his mouth. In another time, another place – that look would have meant something to a primitive female, would have readied her for what was to come.

I’m blindsided.

“I’m trying to take it slow – for you. I’m beating myself every fucking day – for you, because you deserve better, because you deserve more than half a man. But I’m too damn selfish.
I
want those nerdy shirts, to see you put them on every morning.
I
want you there every single night, reading Matty to sleep, waiting for you to crawl into bed with me. I want your voice in my apartment, I want your geeky posters on my wall, and your body in my bed. Is that real enough for you?” Hunter heaves in air, and with his nostrils flared and his body in that relaxed pose on the couch – he’s absolutely magnificent.

“Super real,” I croak, not even trying to clear my throat. “I’d be lying if I said those w
eren’t words I wanted to hear.”

A small tug at one corner of his mouth has the potential to become a smile. It dies quickly and he keeps his solemn stare on my
face.

“I’
ve wanted to say them for awhile. You just need to know what you’re getting into with me.”

“I’m having a thought here, Barbossa.” I sigh when he gives me a blank look. “
Pirates of the Caribbean
again. I really need you to watch that movie. I’m making jokes to the walls, over here,” I smile at him, and even though my hand shakes as it makes its way to the side of his face – I get there in the end. Even though my heart wants to riot and bolt out of my chest; even though I’m scared of being hurt – Hunter
is
hurting, and I know enough about that to want to make him feel better.

I tell him what I know. “I think you’re amazing
. Really, I do. You’re sweet and kind. You don’t understand my nerdy jokes, but you care enough to look them up after. You’re the only one who likes my nerdy shirts. You’re strong, and brave. So, yeah, I think you’re amazing. And no matter what you say or do – nothing will make me change my mind from that.”

Hunter nuzzles my hand like he’s a pet starved for affection. I don’t see the Duchess giving
her little boy hugs and kisses.

“So you still want to be my friend?” H
is eyes are hopeful...and wary.

“I...I think I want to be more than your friend.”

A predator is wearing Hunter’s face – the transformation has me panting. His blue eyes are dark and knowing, nostrils flared like he’s trying to capture as much of my scent as possible. His cheek along my hand burns me, his mouth curves in a wicked smile that has butterflies bumper-car colliding in my lower belly.

I’m not sure
I remember how to breathe.

I squirm in my seat, the leather of the couch letting out a groan, but Hunter holds my attention. He captivates me like the glass-covered rose entranced Belle, and I can’t look away. He’s working some sort of magic on me without the use of a wand. It’s just
him
, and me, and it’s even more terrifying that it could ever be in books.

“Thank you for my plate,” he says
, and his voice has dropped lower, become tangible, like a caress along my arms and legs. I’ve gone dumb; I keep telling my hand to move away from his cheek but it won’t listen, no matter how many times I yell in my head.

I nod, not sure what unintelligible so
unds will come out of my mouth.

“I’m going to need a few minutes alone, baby. Do you mind hanging with your friends
for fifteen minutes?”

“Sure. I can do that.” Hunter turns his face into my hand, landing a kiss in the center of my palm. His kiss travels through my skin, into my blood running up, up my arm to settle in my chest, and gets stuck in my beating heart.
Oh. My. God!
“Call me if you need anything else.”

I move my hand from his face, and get up from the co
uch on shaky legs. I move to Alex’s terrace. I go outside without really seeing my friends, without processing the looks on their faces. I don’t really see Katie’s face set in a grim line, her dark eyes boring into the back of Tommy’s head like she’s going to use heat vision like Kal-El.I don’t see or hear Alex, Eli and Josh yelling at Tommy, who’s yelling right back, arms waving, beer sloshing onto the terrace and causing a mess.

A shame, really, ‘cause I could use another four Coronas to calm myself down, and to make my movements slug
gish so I don’t strangle Tommy.

“See? She’s not even upset! I’m an asshole to everyone – equality for all,” Tomm
y says, grinning at me. God, I want to kill him, but I also want to thank him, since now I understand Hunter a little bit better. Nope, I’ve gone right back to having visions of ending him.

“I asked you to tone it down. How much more
clearer could I be, Russia?” I snarl, stalking closer to him. I really want to punch him and give him a black eye that he’ll have to explain away come Monday morning at work – and he’ll remember it’s from me.

“Your thug’s grown up enough to understand that whatever I say is grounds to hate me, not you.”

My nose starts to sting, and wet coats my eyes. “Why did you do that? Why? I asked you, nicely, as a friend, to be polite, to be courteous. He’s a good guy. What did I do to make you treat me this way?”

Tommy shakes his head, a wince twisting his handsome features. “What did I say? I implied that he gave you a good orgasm, so good that you’d bring him food. I wasn’t mist
reating you; I was commenting.”

“About
me.
You were talking about me. Am I bitch to you, Tommy? Have I not been a good fucking friend? Have I not listened to how you treat women and held my tongue because, hey, I know deep down you’re a good guy but you just like to mouth off ‘cause your dick isn’t as fucking thick or long as you’d like?” I pant, heaving in air. My shoulders are up to my ears, my hands clenched into fists. I can only see Tommy, his face, that fucking smirk that I want to break to pieces with my hands.

“I guess he got you all primed up tonight, kitten, without finishing you off. There’s no need to take it out on me, though. Or would like
me
to finish you off?”

I let out a war-cry, rage painting the world red, blood pounding in my muscles, through my veins with such power, I get high from it. I feel
alive
, strong, invincible. I lunge forward, fisting Tommy’s shirt with my left hand and letting my right hand fly.

The illusion is broken after that.

I let out another shriek as the knuckle of my middle finger twinges so hard, it feels like it’s moved out of place, the pain radiating up my metacarpals in an incessant throb that keeps time with my heart beat. I’ve punched his left cheek bone, grazing off the side of his nose so I don’t know if I broke it or not.

“Don’t ever talk to me again, you understand?” I say through clenched teeth. Josh and Alex are holding me back, while Katie stays in the corner, clapping her hands like she’s seen a particularly good UFC fight. Eli
is sipping at his scotch, smoking his cigar like nothing really happened.

Tommy’s face comes forward,
a hand going to his cheek. He sniffs and the flood gates open and blood comes pouring out of his nose to slick his upper lip and drops over his mouth in a red waterfall. The sight of his blood soothes the pain in my hand.

I shake off Josh and Alex, refusing to t
alk to anyone. I need to leave.

When I walk back into the apartment, shutting the patio door behind me, I take one last glance at my
group of friends and cringe. I flew off the handle.

Hunter comes out of the hallway, eyes wide when he looks at my chest. I was still close enough to Tommy to get some blood on me
and I’m cradling my right hand.

“I want to leave now, please.” My voice comes out strangled, and despite my powerful outburst of anger, all I want to do now is cry because my hand hurts and because I’m embarrassed.

I move to the door, stuff my feet into my Converse. Hunter has my purse in his hand, and he opens the door for me.

I clear my throat, denying the pain
there. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yeah, baby. I’m fine. What about you?” I just shake my
head. “Where do you wanna go?”

We walk out of the building, Hunter jogging up ahead of me to open the car door. Once I’m settled inside, he jogs aro
und the car to get to his seat.

“I think I want to go pick up Matty.” I can see Hunter nod from my peripheral vision as he starts the car and gets out of the parking lot. My hand gives a sweet throb of pain, the space between my index and middle finger knuckles turning a nasty shade of blue. If I look at it long enough, I can see a bone in my hand has moved out of its usual place. “And I want to go to the hospital. I think my hand’s broken.”

***

“Does this hurt?” The guy looks about my age, wearing a lab coat and some blue scrubs underneath. Probably gets off that he’s a medical student and I’m not. The way he prods at my hand, especially the blue part between my knuckles tells me so. I grunt an affirmative. “How about that?” I nod and grunt some more when what I want to do is punch him in the face with my other hand because, yeah, it
fraking hurts!

“Either you have a high pain threshold, or you’re trying to impress me,” the intern says, flashing me a too-bright smile. His gloved hands keep prodding at my knuckles, and he writes a few things down on his clipboard when he’s done causing me pain. Hippocratic Oath my
ass
.

I smile weakly, trying to ignore the throbbing of my hand, or how my stomach’s turning and wants to pull an emergency evacuation on everything I ate tonight.

“How did you get this?” The intern asks, looking up from his notes with a cocked eyebrow. The question sits on his face like a loaded gun; I end up grinning at him. Hunter and Matty stand at my left side, the little guy keeping a death grip on Hunt’s hand. His little face has paled out, making his eyes seem more blue, more hypnotic, more alive – and scared. He has that look on his face because of me. I stop grinning.

“I punched my friend,” I say through clenched teeth, flashing a toothy grin that’s more badass than friendly.

The intern smiles, dark eyes twinkling with amusement. Yeah, well, I’m glad I could make him happy.
Not
.

“She must have pissed you off.” More scribbling on his
clipboard.

“It was a he. And yeah, he pissed me off. I don’t go punching people for fun. Especially if it fraking hurts this much. You’re going to send me up for x-rays, aren’t you?” I ask, resigned. I’m looking at another three hours waiting – at least. I look at both Hunt and Matty, who gives me a tiny smile and worries his bottom lip. Whatever form of vulnerability I saw at Alex’s house from Hunter is now gone, like it never was. It’s like he’s the Peter Bishop from our universe and he’s completely wiped himself out from both universes.

I frown at him, turn back to the intern.

“Afraid so. That level of blue usually indicates that something’s broken. We’re just going to make sure that’s the case. You’ll have to go up to radiology
as soon as I get the go ahead.”

“Alright, thanks.” I nod, hopping off the examination table and moving with my boys to go sit in the almost empty waiting room. As it’s only nine-thirty, I don’t expect the weekend drunks in the forms of teenagers and people my age who should know better by now until at least midnight or later. I’m hoping I won
’t have to stay here all night.

I check my phone one more time before having to turn it off – Loki stares back at me and tells me that no, no one has decided to call or text me to see if I’m okay.
Assholes!

“Sera, why did you get in a fight?” Matty asks, patting my thigh, a silent question if he can sit on my lap. I use my left hand to drag him up onto my leg awkwardly, and after two tries, he’s sitting on me, both hands in his lap. His blue eyes stare at me, like he’s confused, but in awe at the same time. I feel stronger than the Hulk, more powerful than the Phoenix with that one look.
I’d do crazy things to make Matty keep looking at me like that – like I’m the most amazing person to ever grace this Earth.

I curl my left arm around his body, pulling him close enough that his head rests in the crook of my shoulder
. I keep my right hand turned up, forearm resting on my other thigh, wishing the Tylenol they gave me would hurry up and
work already
. I clear my throat – this is important, and I have to choose my next words carefully.

“She did it for me, buddy,” Hunter says. I turn to look at him, arms splayed over
the back of my chair and the chair next to him, legs open and knees cocked. His knee bumps into mine, warming me through my jeans.

Matty lets out a yawn. “You told me I’m not s’posed to get into fights, Daddy. You said so.” His head settles more deeply onto the side of my neck, an
d he snuggles closer to my body. I relax my shoulders to give Matty’s head a better pillow, I curve my spine so my chest doesn’t mess up his posture, and allows him to use me as a bed.

“You fight to protect the ones you love, Matty, and you fight to protect yourself.”
I lean my cheek on his forehead, and settle more deeply into my chair. I’m going to ruin my vertebrae but as long as the kid’s comfortable, I don’t matter anymore. “You fight to protect, little buddy, not to hurt another person because it’s fun, or because they really deserve it. It’s important you remember that,” I say.

Matty lets out another yawn.
“You can sleep, little man. I’ll be here when you wake up,” I say with a grin.

His body stiff
ens up like I’ve poured cement into his bones, or forged them in
adamantium
like Wolverine’s. He palms both sides of my face, lifts his head to look at me – like he’s trying to see the truth without hearing it. His gaze travels all over my face, nose, mouth, chin, back up, forehead, eyebrows and eyes – like he’s memorizing me, like I’m going to become a memory sometime soon.

The pain in my throat waves hello again, and I can just fee
l my nose starting to turn red.

“Okay, Sera,” Matty says, settling back into a more comfortable position. His hands go to the hem of my t-shirt, twisting them in tight so I can’t go anywhere without them moving.

Warmth settles into my back and across my shoulders, and I follow the pressure to move to my right as Hunter curls us both closer to him. To get more comfortable, I swing Matty’s legs onto my lap with my elbow, his feet going through the gap the armrests create between adjacent chairs. I lean more of my weight onto my right ass cheek, elbow getting all of the armrest, the cool metal poking into my ribs. My head hits Hunter’s shoulder, and I let myself settle in.