Never Doubt Me (22 page)
Authors: S.R. Grey
Epilogue
Lead in to
Just Let Me Love You
(Judge Me Not #3)
Kay
C
hase comes down the steps a few minutes following my angry departure from the bedroom. I’m still pissed at him, which is why I’m standing at the front door, contemplating whether I should leave.
My ire lets up a bit, though, when I see the suitcase in his hand. I lean back against the wall by the door, but my eyes can’t meet his.
This is really happening. Chase is really doing this. He’s truly leaving without me by his side.
I’m still a little surprised he kept those particular secrets from me, but the initial sting has subsided. I knew he was holding stuff back. I didn’t press, just allowed myself to believe he had his reasons. It’s my fault as much as his that he kept that stuff buried. I should have made him fess up sooner.
But it doesn’t really matter, not anymore. I know the truth now. Or rather, I know what he wants me to think is the truth. I know Chase, though. And there’s no way those wounds on his hand were caused from hitting a person. He hit something inanimate that night. Of that, I have no doubt. As for what happened with Doug, all I know is that whatever Chase did, it kept my ex away from me. That makes his actions justified in my eyes. Plus, how can I be angry? I did nothing to discourage him from seeking out Doug. Truthfully, I knew in my heart the day I told Chase of Doug’s intentions to apologize to me that he would take action. And he did. So I am as culpable as he.
I have to admit, though, when Chase arched his eyebrow at me, questioningly, at the mention of our engagement, I was shocked and hurt. And I’m still bristling. I mean, what the hell did that arched eyebrow mean? That we’re not really engaged, or that being engaged means nothing.
Chase nears where I’m standing. He sets his suitcase on the floor. I glance his way. His eyes hold a million apologies. But I know no matter how sorry he is, he is not going to bend. He’s not going to take me to Las Vegas with him.
I glance away, and he says softly, “Kay.”
I don’t respond, but he’s not deterred. He comes to me and wraps his arms around me.
“Don’t,” I snap, twisting away.
“Come on, baby girl,” he soothes. “Don’t leave it like this.”
I resist meeting his blues, but his fingers find my chin, and I have no choice but to look up at him.
His eyes hold nothing but truth, sincerity, and remorse. “I’m sorry, Kay,” he says. “I’m sorry I kept secrets. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
I cave a little.
“Did you really beat the junkie?”
“What do you think?” he asks.
“No.”
“And Doug?”
“Just talked to him.”
“I wouldn’t have cared if you beat him, not for his sake. But I’m glad you didn’t, for yours.”
Chase sighs, lowers his hand from my chin. “I don’t want to fight anymore, Kay. I’m sorry I mocked our engagement that way. It was shitty. But you know I love you, right? And, if you’ll still have me, I still want us to get married.”
“We could get married in Vegas,” I say slyly.
“Kay…” Chase sighs. “I have to do this alone. You can’t come to Vegas, not under these circumstances.”
There’s hesitation in his voice now, hesitation that wasn’t there when we were arguing upstairs. Maybe Chase is second-guessing his decision to leave me behind. Damn, he knows we’re better together than we are apart. And he can keep me safe in Vegas, just like I’ll keep him grounded.
But before I can say any of this, Chase mutters, “I better go.”
There’s a short good-bye kiss, a long hug, and then he’s gone.
I can’t bring myself to watch him drive away, though. It hurts too much.
After he’s gone, I walk around downstairs, aimlessly, from room to room. But the emptiness of the house without Chase in it is too much to handle. I head up to the bedroom, where everything still smells like my guy—fresh, soapy, male.
There’s an indentation on the bed where the suitcase was. I erase the reminder that Chase is gone by reaching down and smoothing out the covers. Suddenly, I feel exhausted. I lie down on the bed, and when I press my nose to Chase’s pillow, I whisper his name.
I roll to my stomach and look up at the wall. Above me hangs the oil pastel of the Eiffel Tower, the sketch Chase drew for me not so very long ago. The drawing is beautiful, and I can’t help but smile when I recall the many times Chase and I have talked, laughed, and loved beneath this little piece of Paris.
Paris…
I’m reminded of the evening Chase brought Paris to me, the night of our rooftop picnic at sunset. Everything was so perfect. We feasted on brie spread over pieces of baguette; we drank pink-tinged Kir that matched the sunset that evening. But, best of all, Chase and I made love for the first time that night.
Chase gave me a memory, a beautiful memory, to hold close to my heart. I knew even then that that memory would soothe me in troubled times such as these.
And it does, that memory soothes me now.
My head starts to clear, and get a hold of my lingering wayward emotions. Time to quit lying around, time to quit moping—it’s time to take action.
But I’m not exactly sure what I should do.
Rising up to my knees, I glance around.
My cell is on the nightstand. Usually I handle things by myself, or with Chase, but maybe if I talk with someone else, I’ll find the direction I seek.
Heck, it’s worth a try.
My first impulse is to call Father Maridale, since he’s generally a help when I feel uncertain. But I hesitate. Tonight, I feel like speaking with a woman might be more helpful to me.
Decided, and determined, I reach out and grab my cell from the nightstand. But then I just stare blankly at it. Who can I call—Missy? No, she’s dealing with her own things. Sadly, I don’t really have any other female friends.
To be honest, though, I know who I’d
like
to speak with. But I am hesitant to call her.
“Oh, what the hell,” I say out loud, resolving to do the one thing I never would have imagined myself doing even just a month ago.
I call my mother.
In some inexplicable, weird way it feels right, like my mother and I have progressed to this point, and it’s my turn to reach out. Like Father Maridale counseled, I am giving her an opportunity to be here for me.
She’s initiated all contact up to this point; she always calls me. She’s been great so far too, keeping up with me, warning me about Doug. But this will mark the first time I’ve taken it upon myself to get in touch with her.
I breathe in deeply.
Let’s see how this goes…
To my delight, my mom sounds genuinely pleased to hear from me. That kind of touches me deep inside. This is the kind of connection I’ve longed for ever since Mom turned away. Before then, even. I always wanted a real relationship with my mother. After all, she is my flesh and blood. There’s a bond there that transcends hurt feelings and past wrongs, no matter how deep they run.
We talk, just small talk. I keep the conversation light, updating her on what we’ve been doing, like the fair Chase and I took Will and Jared to, our road trip to Pittsburgh, movies we’ve seen, that sort of thing.
At one point, Mom asks me how work is going, and I reply, “Actually, I’m pretty much done with the secretary gig. That was just for the summer.”
“School doesn’t start till September, though,” she remarks.
“That’s true,” I reply, “but the regular secretary, Connie, returns on Monday from her trip. She and her husband were on a cruise.”
“Oh, so you have the next three weeks off?”
“Yeah,” I confirm. “Father Maridale told me I can still come in and help Connie if I get bored, but there’s really no need. I’m sure I’ll find things to do around here.”
There’s a smile in Mom’s voice as she states, “Look on the bright side, honey. Think of how much time you and Chase can spend together these next few weeks. You have the rest of August to do things together before you go back to teaching. These dog days of summer are so nice for young couples, lots of end-of-summer events and activities to enjoy.”
“Um…”
Mom, misunderstanding my non-reply, says, “Oh, what am I going on about? I’m sure Chase still has to work the rest of the month. Just never mind me, honey.”
Chase would still be working through August, but when Father Maridale was told of the latest troubles with Will, he gave Chase the rest of the month off.
Damn.
Mom’s words resonate, though. How I would love to be planning fun, end-of-summer activities for Chase and me to partake in. But who knows how much of the next few weeks we’ll even end up spending together. Chase might be stuck in Vegas for a while.
When I don’t immediately respond to my mom, she says, as only moms can do, “Kay, what’s wrong?”
I need to talk to someone, and she really is trying, so I confess to her that Chase is gone.
“He’s on his way to the airport right now. Chase is flying out to Las Vegas early tomorrow morning to, uh, help his brother. And I don’t know how long he’ll be gone.”
Mom sighs, then says with much kindness, “I’m sorry, Kay.”
That prompts me to spill everything that’s really happening. Well, almost everything. I leave out my argument with Chase, and I don’t dare mention that Will purchased a gun. I do, however, share with my mother that a misguided Will might run into trouble while trying to protect his girlfriend.
My mom is quiet for a few beats, like maybe she’s assessing. I conclude she must be good at assessing when she softly says, “You want to go with Chase, don’t you?”
“I do,” I admit. Why lie?
“So why aren’t you with him right now?” she gently prods.
I stifle a sniffle. “He wants to do this alone, Mom. He thinks I’ll get caught up in what he terms
a dangerous situation
.” I sigh. “This thing with Will, it’s, uh, volatile. Besides, Chase told me he needs to do this on his own.”
Even though my responses are vague, I expect my mother to do what she’s always done—start up with her judgments.
But she does nothing of the sort. Instead of saying something cutting or biting, like I half expect her to, she says, “Honey, don’t ever doubt yourself. And don’t let Chase doubt you, either. It sounds to me like he might need you with him more than he realizes.”
I consider her words and mumble a “maybe.”
“Kay,” she continues, “sometimes men underestimate what we, as women, can handle. Chase wants to protect you, sure, and that’s noble, but maybe he needs you to show him what you’re made of. Show him the strong woman I know you are, honey. Show him how
your
strength can actually strengthen him.”
“He knows I’m strong,” I say softly. “I mean, I think he does.”
“
Show
him you are,” Mom responds.
“How?” I whisper.
Her answer is simple, but powerful. “Go to him, Kay.”
Sage advice from a woman I thought had given up on me, a woman I almost gave up on myself. I feel elated that I’ve made this call. It was absolutely the right thing to do.
And since I’m ready to keep making the right decisions, I announce, “I am going to go to him. I’ll book a ticket and pack as soon as we finish up here.”
I hear a smile in Mom’s voice as she says, “Then I’d better let you go, sweetie.”
“Okay.”
But before we disconnect, my mother adds, “Be safe, Kay. And if there’s anything you need, anything at all, just call me, okay?”
“I will,” I promise, and then I say, “Oh, and Mom…”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
Two hours later, I am on the turnpike, heading out of Ohio and into Pennsylvania. Another twenty minutes and I should be arriving at the airport in Pittsburgh. Surely, my presence will surprise the hell out of Chase. I expect he may resist the idea of me going with him at first, like he did back at the house, but I am
not
changing my mind. No matter what he says or does. Nope, I am going to Las Vegas with Chase Gartner. I’m booked on the same flight, and I was even able to book the seat next to him.
There’s no going back now.
“Never doubt me,” I whisper to myself as I drive.
It’s what I’d say to Chase if he were here. Because what he doesn’t realize is that danger doesn’t frighten me. I’ve faced a lot, and I’ve come through okay. Maybe a little roughed up sometimes, but I keep going.
Besides, when it comes right down to it, I’d walk into the fires of hell for Chase. I love him that much. Though I don’t think things will come to
that.
The situation with Chase’s brother is bound to be resolved. I just hope it’s in a way that everyone comes out safe.
But no matter what happens, one thing is certain: Chase and I are going to overcome this obstacle in the same way we’ve faced everything else—together.
What will happen in Las Vegas with Chase, Kay, Will, and Cassie? Find out in the winter of 2014-2015 (December-January).
The story continues in
Just Let Me Love You
the third book of the
Judge Me Not
series
.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to all the bloggers who support my novels, the readers whom I love dearly, and my family and friends, to which I owe so much.
Thank you also to the individuals involved in preparing this novel for publication. Ashley, Beta Reader A, Beta Reader B, the team at Damonza, and Benjamin. Oh, and a huge thank you to Tom.
On a final note, if you, the reader, like
Never Doubt Me
, please consider leaving a review on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and/or Goodreads. Small indie authors (like myself) rely on word of mouth to get the word out. Thank you!
Author Bio
S.R. Grey is the bestselling author of
Harbour Falls
,
Willow Point
, and
Wickingham Way
, all novels in the A Harbour Falls Mystery trilogy/series. She is also the author of New Adult/Contemporary Romance novels
I Stand Before You
and
Never Doubt Me
, books one and two in the Judge Me Not series.
Ms. Grey resides in western Pennsylvania. She has a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration degree, as well as an MBA. Her background is in business, but her passion lies in writing.
Novels slated for publication in 2014 are a brand new New Adult/Contemporary Romance novel,
Inevitable Detour
, and
Just Let Me Love You
(Judge Me Not #3)
When not writing, Ms. Grey can be found reading, traveling, running, or cheering for her hometown sports teams.
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