Never Forever (20 page)

Awkward

A lingering wave of negative tenacity brushes over the surface of my mind, expelling a pessimistic attitude. The dark aura seeping out of me like deadly gas from a toxic waste facility fills the classroom with a thick layer of tension. The herd of fellow classmates pours through the entrance to the room, adding a layer of their exuberant attitudes into the mix, diluting my nay-saying attitude. Slowly I encompass the dark, street-smart temperament I was raised with yet fought so hard to deny, causing everyone to avoid me like the black plague; which is what I am right now, a plague infecting those around me.

The door to the classroom is left ajar, allowing all the students to freely flow into the room. Turning towards the entrance I instantly notice Callum and Olivia standing out in the hall talking. Olivia’s petite frame is dwarfed next to Callum’s tall, lean physique. His frame instantly increases in girth and height as he reacts to something she has just divulged, causing him to look like a medieval warrior. The muscles in his jaw quiver in revolt from the strain he is inflicting on them. Gripping his fists tightly together triggers the lean muscles in his arms to amplify, putting excessive pressure against his sleeves. An awkward silence looms between them as Olivia continues divulging – I can only assume – my surreptitious decision to leave. His eyes narrow with rage as his gaze deliberately turns in my direction. His normal soft caramel eyes blaze with disappointment while he stares deep into my eyes. A piercing sting sears through my soul with regret, yet a subtle glimmer of satisfaction ripples on the surface of my mind. Though I did not want Olivia to divulge my plan to Callum, the subconscious part of my mind clearly knows what is taking place. As if my mind is attempting to take revenge on him for the deceitful lies and pain he inflicted on me.

Reacting to his ominous stare I twist the corner of my mouth up revealing a treacherous smile. His head shakes slightly back and forth as he utters something to Olivia. She too turns in my direction, giving me a matching smile, though hers is filled with satisfaction over her obvious choice to tell Callum. Deep down I know she is hoping that her apparent tattle tailing may perhaps hinder my decision to leave. But there is nothing she or Callum can do to change my mind. Olivia stretches up on her tiptoes, giving Callum a strong hug as she whispers something in his ear. The subtle words obviously have something to do with me, because he turns once again in my direction with a look of complete understanding searing within his face.

Mr. Bramble walks past Callum, tenderly giving him a double ‘man slap’ on his back, bringing his attention to the forefront that it is time to start class. Callum proudly walks into the room. Walking past me he lightly taps the top of my table, getting my attention. He softly utters, “We need to talk.”

Shaking my head in refusal, I whisper firmly, “No, we don’t.”

A determined smile spreads across his face as he adds threateningly, “You are not physically strong enough to stop me. If I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you someplace – I will.” He arrogantly strolls off to his table, wearing a triumphant smile.

I am left sitting, unable to move at my table, feeling the reverberating, alarming and yet slightly lascivious remark spin within my mind. The thought of Callum forcefully overpowering me leaves my body burning in want. My skin becomes highly sensitive, feeling the air dance across the surface. My mind instantly recalls all the times Callum claimed his power over me. Though I try hard to push the mental image down, my mind is not cooperating. Olivia is right, I love Callum, and as long as I am around him I will be in his power. This is a perfect example. Though I know it is best to stay away from him, just the thought of having him grab hold of me, refusing to let me go, sets my skin on fire. Heat pulsates through me, causing my skin to ignite as I stare down at my table, trying to gain control. Vibrating from the far corner of my mind I hear my last name echo in the distance.

“Miss Hayes!” the booming voice explodes through my torrid thoughts.

A rumbling roar of laughter bursts all around me, instantly bringing my mind back to reality. Looking around the room I am completely taken back by the sudden change of seating arrangements. There are several groups consisting of two or three people sporadically placed throughout the room. Complete dismay washes over me as to how I could have missed the obvious shuffling of students all around me. My mind spins in confusion as the students continue their laughter. Echoing from the front corner of the room a female voice reverberates above all the laughter stating, “Bloody barmy wanker.”

“Emily, belt up!” a smooth, low voice coming from the back of the room cuts through the noise.

“Miss Hayes, are you alright?” Mr. Bramble states questioningly.

“Yes, I am fine. I am sorry, I was just lost in thought, that’s all.”

“You are lost al ’right,” Gavin chimes in. Suddenly a deep and forceful throat clearing echoes from the back, causing Gavin to utter a quick apology.

“Miss Hayes, we are separating into groups to prepare for the final exam.”

“Okay, what group am I in?” I state hesitantly, not wanting to necessarily be paired up with anyone right now.

“You are back with your same partner…Mr. Hughes. He is waiting for you in the back of the room.”

My heart instantly drops into the pit of my stomach, causing me to feel slightly sick. Callum had just stated his intentions on talking with me, but I am not ready to talk, let alone sit so close to him right now. My mind is still vibrating with all the lewd thoughts spinning around in my head. I am not trustworthy right now. No matter how hard I try to lock my heart into the ironclad safe, Callum’s sedulous eyes hold a mysterious key, emancipating my heart.

Laboriously I get up, walking towards the back of the room where Callum sits languidly wearing a large mischievous smile. His well-built body is heightened by his aged blue jeans and a soft, athletic cut V-neck shirt silhouetting his substantial pecks and smooth valley between them. His velvety skin rolls up his neck and marries beautifully into his clean-shaven square jaw. The soft skin of his neck vibrates slightly just under the sharp corner of his mandible. His buttery smooth caramel eyes scan mine for any emotion he can use against me. Fighting back all my anxiety, I hastily transform my lascivious emotions into hate, knowing that where love lives hate resides there also. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, and until I don’t care about Callum I am in danger of still loving him.

Placing my chair gingerly in front of him, I gaze angrily into his eyes. A conflicting sensation encapsulates me, wanting to both slap him and kiss him at the same time. Masking my capricious desires with a firm poker face I am able to retain the searing stare he has on me.

“What are we supposed to go over?” I ask firmly, trying to hide my quivering voice.

His eyes suddenly lose their arrogant luster, revealing a soft, yet serious expression, “Olivia tells me you are leaving as soon as your classes are done.” His eyes scan my motionless body, waiting for me to unearth my plans.

Our eyes begin a dueling match over control. Holding onto his gaze I utter flatly, “Yes.”

“She says that you are running from what you want, back to the life you think you should have.”

A heavy sigh rolls out of my mouth, “I don’t care what Olivia told you. Callum, you no longer have a decision in what I do or say.”

“I don’t believe you. I think you are being a bloody stubborn girl. You are so afraid of getting the life you not only want, but deserve…”

“I’m not afraid. You are what I want, but I can’t have you. You know that I’m right. Your mother laid it all out for me. I am trying to save you from public humiliation and disgrace.”

He sits straight up, erect, as his body pulses with an irritating substance, causing his muscles to quiver, “Screw the bloody society! It is my life.”

“And your family’s life.”

“Then to hell with my family, too,” he spits out.

“Callum stop, I am done. I have moved on and so should you,” I stutter, pushing the lump in my throat down. The palms of my hands are beginning to sweat as my lies start to reveal their ugly head.

“You haven’t moved on any more than I have, I can tell.” Leaning in he begins examining my body with a voracious look consuming his face, “Your pupils dilate slightly whenever I am close to you.”

“Stop, Callum,” I breathlessly add in an unconvincing tone.

His fingertips lightly trace my thighs, causing my heart to palpitate, “Your heart rate still increases when I tenderly touch you…” He slides his chair closer to mine, allowing him to now fully overpower me. Both of his hands firmly grasp onto my upper thighs, digging his thumbs into my sensitive inner thighs. His need pulsates within his trembling hands. Deliberately his hands begin gradually sweeping into the inner portion of my thighs, causing my breathing to increase into a nearly hyperventilating state. Resting his warm, smooth cheek against mine he causes his hot, sweet breath to pour down my neck, “Your breathing quickens to an almost dangerous level…” I can feel the corner of his mouth pull up slightly, forming a luscious smile against my cheek. “The best part is how my breath…” he exhales softly onto my skin, “…causes your skin to break out into goose flesh.” A hypnotic state washes down my body as a joyous tingling sensation ripples throughout my body. Melting into my chair, I am slowly becoming a puddle of boiling flesh within his grasp.

He is winning this battle as I close my eyes in pure joy, forgetting where I am until a booming voice knocks me out of my trance, “Mr. Hughes, I am assuming that your close proximity to Miss Hayes is to do with the assignment, correct?”

My eyes instantly snap open like a stretched coil ricocheting back to its primary position, immediately recalling my original will.

Callum slightly turns towards Mr. Bramble, keeping his hands firmly gripped onto my thighs. “Yes, in fact it does have to do with the lesson. Thank you, Mr. Bramble.”

Pulling my cheek free from his allows the cold air to invade the section of my face where our cheeks seemed to be melting together. The cool air quickly extinguishes my smoldering skin as it screams in a tingling sensation, wanting his warmth to once again reside there. Reluctantly leaning back in my chair I peer into his face, grabbing hold of my internal strength I state flatly, “I have moved on. I have a date this Friday.” Placing my hands firmly on top of his, I begin prying his hands off of my thighs.

His hands aggressively spin around, capturing my wrist within his iron clasp. His long fingers easily envelop my wrists within a heated prison. Surging warmth pulses against my wrists as if his hands have their own heartbeat. Firmly pressing my hands on top of my thighs, he hunches his torso over my lap, resting his head just inches away from my face. I can feel his quick breath rushing out of him, sending a warm sensation to roll over my hands, flowing gently onto my thighs. His breath slowly comes to a steady rhythm, causing the heat radiating out of his hands to subside.

Looking up into my face, his eyes lock onto mine, “You have a date?”

His caramel eyes sear deep into my soul, causing a rippling current to flow throughout my body. A sick sensation spins in my stomach, pushing up the thick bile, lodging itself firmly in my throat. Fighting back my instinct to kiss him, I utter hoarsely, “Yes.”

“Is it by chance that bloody wanker Conner Fairfield you were talking to?” his voice is thick with an incredulous tone.

“It is none of your business who it is. You have Emily now,” my razor tongue slices through him.

Squeezing my wrists even tighter he snaps, “I am not, nor will I ever be with Emily, you bloody, stubborn, daft girl.”

“I am not daft. I saw Emily put her arm around you the other day, besides you have every right to be with her. She is your future wife and we are not together.”

“You are bloody driving me barmy. How many times do I have to tell you? I am not with Emily. And she is not, nor will she ever be my future wife. Of course she put her arm around me, she saw me looking at you. She will do anything to keep you away from me. Look at the bloody situation she put you in with Gavin.”

A shiver runs up my spine as I recall my terrifying experience in the Hellfire Cave with Gavin. If it wasn’t for Callum things would have turned out much worse. I am amazed I can still sit in the same classroom with Gavin after what he attempted to do to me. But because of Callum’s threat he has tried to avoid me, fearing Callum’s retribution.