Never Say Never (Lakeview Contemporary Romance Book 3) (20 page)

“Better than most, too,” Matt said. “The woman in the corner shop, she told me all about you – and how you’re alone now too.”

“Did she?” Obviously, Molly was up to her match-making tricks again, although this time, Olivia thought with a smile, she couldn’t say she was too upset.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking to pry or anything but –”

“It’s fine,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “I know Molly has a bit of a mouth on her.”

Matt spoke softly. “So, I know what it’s like – I know it isn’t easy.”

“No, it isn’t.” She didn’t want to talk about this, not here, not now, not with him. “But I’m fine now, I’m over it.”

“It isn’t easy on your own. Parenting, I mean.”

Olivia shook her head. “It was difficult in the early days, certainly, but my friends and family were great – I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

“I don’t know about you, but in a way I think having Adam to worry about helped me a little. I couldn’t be selfish; I couldn’t retreat into myself because I had him to think about.”

“I know what you mean.” She looked away sadly.

“Listen,” Matt said, standing up and moving towards her. “I didn’t come here so that we could stir up painful memories of our respective spouses.”

She nodded and was about to say something, but before she could open her mouth, Matt had taken her hand in his.

“As I was saying earlier, I’ve been on my own for over two years now, and in all that time I haven’t even looked at another woman. Yet, since I first met you …”

Olivia looked into his beautiful, earnest eyes and knew that this was something special. Everything she had wished for, had hoped for these last few weeks was now happening to her, and yet despite her exhilaration she felt – frightened.

But Matt seemed to understand. “Look, I could be making a fool of myself here. Maybe I’ve been misreading the signs, maybe you don’t feel like I think you feel. But, Olivia, I think you do, and with all you’ve been through – with all we’ve
both
been through – I think that you’re also a little afraid. But that’s perfectly normal, because I feel that way too.” With that, he reached upwards and tenderly tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear. “What do you think?”

That simple gesture, the faint touch on her skin, had at that moment the effect of removing all reason, all thought from Olivia’s mind. “I think,” she said, putting her arms around Matt’s neck and reaching forward for a much-longed-for kiss. “I think we might be on to something here.”

“
I
’m so pleased
for you,” Leah grinned. “He seems really, really nice.”

The following Saturday, Leah drove down to Lakeview for lunch and Matt had been there when she arrived. She very quickly gave him the once-over, before deciding that he was perfect for Olivia.

All that week, Olivia had been walking on air and she couldn’t keep the smile from her face. That first night, she and Matt had talked well into the night and it was almost dawn by the time he’d left the house.

From her doorway, Olivia had watched him sneak like a sixteen-year-old schoolboy across the green and back to Catherine’s house. That was an odd scenario, that was for sure, she thought, closing the door behind her and heading upstairs, hoping for an hour or two’s sleep before Ellie woke. She couldn’t help feeling a mixture of guilt and relief at the fact that her daughter was a very heavy sleeper and it was very unlikely she would have heard anything. Hopefully.

Matt had told her that he, Catherine, and his wife Natasha had known one another for years, having all grown up in the same area of Dublin together. Catherine wasn’t married, apparently.

“She’s the type that enjoys single life way too much to ever get married,” he said with a laugh. “But she’s been great – great to me, great to Adam. I really don’t know what I would have done without her. I suppose she’s the only one who understands what it’s like. She loved Tash as much as I did. She was bridesmaid at our wedding, godmother at Adam’s christening, you know the type.”

“So, she looks after Adam while you’re at work?” Olivia asked.

“Yes, she’s great with kids, really great.”

“She must be,” Olivia said, impressed. “By the way, I never asked, what is it exactly that you do? I remember that day after the text fiasco,” she rolled her yes, “that day we first met, you had just clinched a major deal?”

“Ah yes, that must have been the Big One,” he said, smiling at the memory.

“Big One?”

“Yeah, a new apartment complex – in Bulgaria. I’m a property consultant, an overseas property consultant. Not an estate agent as such, rather our agency helps find suitable investment properties for Irish clients overseas. We used to do a lot of stuff in Spain and Portugal but the market’s saturated now and there’s no value to be had there any more. These days we concentrate only on emerging markets.” He smiled. “The Bulgarian developer had just given us sole agency in Ireland, which was a huge boost and …sorry, I’m probably boring you.”

Olivia smiled. “Not at all. It’s very interesting actually, although I always pictured you overseas property guys as small, heavy, and sporting a nice tangerine glow from all that time spent in the sun.”

Now, Leah wrinkled her nose when Olivia told her this. “He seems nothing like those Costa del Dosh types.”

“He’s not. As you said yourself, he is really, really nice,” Olivia beamed at her friend. Then she threw a short glance over her shoulder checking to see if Ellie was within earshot. “Although I still don’t like saying too much in front of – ”

“Mommy where’s Matt gone?” Ellie piped up from behind. She had run downstairs and was holding a still-wet colourful painting, the paint splattered all over her hands and cheeks.

“He had to go home,” Olivia said, filling the kettle with water. “And he said to say goodbye, but he didn’t want to interrupt you while you were painting.”

“But I wanted to show him my picture,” she cried mournfully.

Leah raised an eyebrow. “This Matt seems
very
popular.”

“Don’t worry – he’ll be back later this evening,” Olivia told her.

“Goodie! Is Adam coming too?”

Olivia grinned. “Yes, Adam’s coming too. Now go and wash all that paint off your hands – we’re having lunch soon, and then we’ll go and put your picture on the grave, OK?”

“OK, Mommy,” Ellie dutifully rushed back upstairs to the bathroom.

Olivia rolled her eyes. “It’ll take forever to get that stuff off her clothes, but she seems to love arts and crafts and, to be honest, it’s great for keeping her quiet.” She gave a faraway smile. “Peter was the same – always good with his hands.”

Leah sat down at the kitchen table. “She seems to have taken to Matt in a big way. And judging by that silly grin on your face, her mum seems to have taken to him in a big way too.”

“He’s great,” Olivia said with a smile. “And yes, Ellie is crazy about him.”

Leah paused slightly. “And have you told him … about Peter, I mean?”

Olivia’s expression clouded. “Not the whole story. Although, apparently Molly from the shop said something to him,” she added, and Leah raised an eyebrow. “Ah, she can be a bit of a matchmaker, and probably thought she was doing me a favour. He’s told me all about his wife and how she died, but I just can’t bring myself to tell him my sad stories.”

Leah shook her head. “I suppose it’s a bit early all the same. Still, Matt seems lovely and I really hope you’re not stalling because you still blame yourself. Despite what you think, you really aren’t to blame – ”

“Of course I am Leah – who else is there to blame for the fact that Ellie doesn’t have her father?” Olivia stood up and looked out the window and into the back garden, her eyes tired and sad.

Leah grimaced, sorry she had brought the subject up. “I really thought you had come to terms with it all by now,” she said softly.

“Oh, I had, in a way, but all this with Matt now … I suppose it just brings it all back.”

“Well then, you should explain everything to him – and quickly.”

“I know that, but it’s still difficult for me to talk about it – and to a complete stranger as such. I’ve only known Matt for a little while. I don’t want him to think I’m irresponsible, and I don’t want him to blame me too.”

Leah gritted her teeth. “Olivia, you are not irresponsible, and you’re the best parent I know. You’ve done a fantastic job in raising Ellie without Peter and, unlike Matt, you don’t have someone helping you out like he does with his friend Catherine – quite the opposite. Speaking of which, have you heard from Peter’s parents recently?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not for a little while, but in a way, I’m glad. It only confuses Ellie. She goes up to Galway for weekends and when she comes back it’s all Daddy this and Daddy that. She doesn’t really understand.”

“Still as you said yourself, you can’t pretend Peter never existed.”

“I know that, but I’m the one that has to make all the excuses and explanations, while Teresa and Jim just spoil her rotten.” Tears sprang to her eyes. “They’ve always blamed me too, you know.”

Leah shook her head. “I’m sure that’s not true, and if they do, they’re idiots.”

“Yes, but they loved him and now he’s gone.”

Leah looked sideways at her. “I haven’t seen you like this for a long time.”

“I haven’t
felt
like this for a long time, to be honest,” Olivia replied sadly. “But now, by getting involved with Matt, all the feelings I thought I’d buried are being forced to the surface again, whether I like it or not. When Matt wants to know what happened, I’ll have to face it all again, won’t I?”

“That would have to happen no matter who you got involved with – or when,” Leah said kindly. “And I think you and I both know that no matter how much you loved and miss Peter, you have to move on eventually.”

“But am I doing the right thing?” Olivia asked, panicking now, wondering if she was being silly thinking she could have a relationship with Matt Sheridan. He was a nice guy and, yes, it seemed as though they got on very well and had lots in common, but what would he think once he knew everything?

“I think you’re doing the right thing,” Leah said, standing up and putting a comforting arm around her friend’s shoulder. “And I also think it’s time you moved on. What you had with Peter is long gone, Olivia, you know that, and you’ve suffered enough. Now, you have to make the most of what you do have, and look to the future.”

Olivia thought about it, she had thought about it many times over the last few days. She
did
have to move on and come to terms with the fact that Peter wasn’t coming back.

“You’re right,” she said, brightening a little as she turned to face her friend. “You’re so right. I’ve spent way too long suffering over this. It’s about time Ellie and I moved on.”

E
arly the following week
, Kate gave birth to a baby boy and Olivia Leah and little Ellie went to visit the new mum at the hospital.

Leah had been unprepared for the sight of poor Kate. She looked ravaged, drained, and certainly not the sharp, lively Kate she’d been before and all throughout the pregnancy.

Kate watched with tired eyes as Olivia and Ellie cooed over baby Dylan, Leah standing slightly away and watching from a safe distance. Since she’d come to terms with the fact that she was never having any children of her own, she usually preferred to keep her distance. Otherwise, she might start feeling things she knew she shouldn’t.

“I love the name,” Olivia said, smiling at the new mum. “He’s a beautiful little baby, an adorable little thing. And I can’t believe how much he looks like you.”

“Yeah, he’s gorgeous, Kate.” Seeing her friend smile proudly at the compliment, Leah didn’t want to admit out loud that, wisps of red hair aside, this baby looked like every other baby she had ever seen, red-faced, wrinkly, and she supposed, cute in a cabbage-patch-kid kind of way. She couldn’t really understand how anyone could see a parental resemblance at this early stage. The child could have been Quasimodo’s for all Leah could tell.

As if he could read Leah’s thoughts, Dylan let out an ungodly wail.

“Oh dear,” she said, stepping away from the baby’s crib, resisting the urge to put her hands over her ears.

“Please tell me it gets easier, Olivia,” Kate groaned, reaching across for him. “He hasn’t stopped crying since he arrived.”

“Look, let me – you take it easy for a while,” Olivia said, deftly lifting Dylan out of the crib and leaning him over one shoulder. She rubbed his back gently. “Of course it’ll get easier. You two are just getting used to one another at the moment, that’s all. Give it a day or two and he’ll be fine.”

As if on cue, Dylan stopped crying and Kate’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“Wow, how the hell did you manage that?”

Olivia winked. “Fluke,” she said, as Dylan gurgled peacefully over her shoulder.

“Well, do you think you could get a bed in here beside me for a while? After all I’ve been through, I could certainly do with a break.” As she repositioned herself on the bed, Kate winced.

“So how was it?” Leah asked, bluntly. “You know,” she nodded downwards and then at Dylan. “Honestly.”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Of course. I find these things interesting.” Leah sat eagerly on one side of the hospital bed.

Kate looked at Olivia, who smiled softly.

“Don’t look to me for inspiration. I can barely remember it at this stage.”

“So you
do
actually forget – thank goodness for that. Because I’ve already told Michael there is no
way
I’m having another one after all that, no bloody way.”

“Oh, come on, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?” Leah said, sceptically. “Otherwise no one would
ever
go through it.”

Kate gave her a sideways glance. “Not that bad?”

“Well, it couldn’t be as bad as they make out in films and television anyway, could it?” Leah laughed. “You said it yourself, Kate. You said you thought the difficulties of pregnancy were completely exaggerated. You took it all in your stride.”

“I was nothing but an idiot who got her comeuppance in the end.” Kate replied dryly.

“That bad?” Olivia was sympathetic.

“Worse. If I had had a gun beside me at the time, I would have cheerfully blown my head off.”

“No way.”

“
Yes
, way.”

“But it couldn’t have been
that
bad, not in this day and age surely,” Leah was unconvinced. “What about the epidural?”

“As far as I’m concerned, whoever invented that so-called
pain
killer should be taken out and shot. Then he’d know all about pain. It doesn’t really kill the pain, it just numbs the intensity.”

“Well, that’s something surely,” Leah replied.

“Not when you’ve already been suffering for hours on end.”

Olivia laughed quietly. “Poor Kate. And you were the one who thought you were ready for anything.”

“I
was
ready for anything and I thought I was ready for this. But it was
unbelievable
– really the worst agony imaginable – and by being so bloody blasé about the whole thing beforehand, I reckon the Man Upstairs thought to himself ‘Right, this one deserves everything she gets.’”

Leah tittered. “Well, at least you can joke about it now.”

“Oh, don’t you be fooled,” Kate shook her head. “It was certainly no joking matter. I’ve always suffered the most horrific period pains and stupidly,
naively
, I thought ‘I’m used to this, I can handle this, don’t I already know what I’m dealing with?’ Boy, was I kidding myself.” She turned to Leah. “Put it this way, at one stage I felt as though this baby was going to turn me inside out and, if they hadn’t cut me, I’m pretty sure he would have.”

“Oh, Kate, shut up, shut up,
shut up
!” Leah put her hands to her ears, and crossed her legs determinedly.

Olivia laughed. “Yep, I think I remember that feeling.”

“And the funny thing is,” Kate went on, “Michael arrived in this morning with bits and pieces for the baby and, wait for it – a bunch of bananas. I said to him, ‘Why are you bringing me those? The food’s great here and anyway I don’t even like bananas.’ And he said to me, serious as you like, ‘Kate, don’t you know that bananas are full of potassium and potassium will help your stitches heal more quickly?’”

“Stitches! Oh my word, please, please, stop,” Leah was now crossing her legs even tighter. “I get the message, it was bad, it was bloody bad, you poor thing. Now I’ve said I feel sorry for you, so can we stop this bloody discussion – please!”

Olivia and Kate laughed out loud, and in that instant, Leah felt much happier and more certain than ever that she and Josh had made a
very
sensible decision.