Never Stopped Loving You (11 page)

He cupped her cheeks and she was willingly caught.

Trapped in his hold, under his spell as her lids dropped and he bent. His lips touched hers. Heat bloomed through as he pressed a kiss first to the corners of her mouth. Then the center. Oh, this had
bad idea
written all over it, but she couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to pull away.

Her hands slid up the damp wall of his chest. Not to push him off, but to climb higher, to his shoulders. The very same ones she’d wrapped her arms around that one time behind the barn. His muscles were bunched as she stepped into him until the front of her was against him. She cursed the stiff apron blocking ninety percent of feeling his body pressed to hers.

Though his hands remained soft on her cheeks, his kiss did not. He pressed firmly against her and she fell farther and opened her mouth. The sweep of his tongue across hers jolted sparks through her body. Electricity arced. Years of wanting this to happen opened up as the fantasies, the late nights, the many daydreams filtered down into stunning, perfect, amazing reality. This was a scenario she had imagined when she left town.

And kissing him back was one of the outcomes she wanted!

The touch of his palm on her cheek. The angle of his nose alongside hers. Even the whiskers she’d once felt were there creating a slight tickling, awareness. She shouldn’t be doing this. She should be pushing him away before ruining something else, but she just couldn’t.

Had she given in to his touches all those years ago, how her life would be different. She interlaced her fingers behind his neck to hold herself a little closer. Questions raced through.
Why
being the main one, but she shut it down and instead enveloped herself in the heated taste of Wade. His male scent. His body against hers.

Of him straightening and pulling away.

Sweet sadness weighed heavy in her gut. His lips distanced from hers. She released her hold and sank back on her heels. The tips of his fingers slid from her face until they no longer touched and her skin tingled from his absence. Only his breath barely reached her cheeks until he sidestepped and walked out of the kitchen, stopped at the doorway as he faced his sister. “I ripped a tube that feeds water to the radiator on the tractor. I’m going to change clothes and then head into town to find a new one.”

And then he was gone.

Knees weak, she leaned on the counter at her back and stared at the doorway he’d left through.

“That right there is why I’m not married yet.”

Kara blinked and stared at her forgotten friend. “What?”

A smile beamed brighter off Whitney’s face than any spotlight as she strolled out of the pantry with a bag of cookies. “I want fireworks like those.”

“That was...” ...
freaking amazing.
But if she didn’t say it aloud, it couldn’t be true. She cleared her throat. She was deep in it now. Deep in something she shouldn’t be in, she just didn’t know what it was. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

Whitney grinned. “But it did.”

Kara sank in a chair and dropped her head on the table. “He wasn’t supposed to do that. We talked. We are supposed to keep a distance. I asked him not to talk to me.”

“In all fairness—” Whitney slid in the chair next to her and tipped the bag of chocolate chip cookies to her, “—he didn’t
say
a word to you.”

“Ha-ha.” She took two cookies of her own and ate them at the same time like a sandwich. A chocolate-chip-cookie, sugar-high sandwich.

“I don’t see what the problem is. Isn’t this what you wanted? Pretty sure it’s what Wade wants. Just going by what I saw.”

She shook her head. “I have to talk to John.”

Whitney drew back. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“I have to apologize. For before. I can’t handle more until I do that. I’ve run from it for years and it’s time to face it.” She explained what she’d told Wade in the barn, the horrific mistake that cost her everything. “I’ll never forgive myself for what I did to you back then. You and Wade both know, but John doesn’t. I have to explain it to him. He thinks we still have a chance as a couple.”

Whitney’s mouth opened a couple times. Several different things started to come out before she finally settled on an answer. “Well then. Go take a shower and fix your hair.”

Kara remained sitting in her chair and lifted her gaze to Whitney who was standing. “Why?”

“Most likely, John will be in the bar tonight. Might as well get this over with.”

Wait. Now? Like,
today?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Either you’re going to do this or not, Kara. What’s it going to be?”

“I want to do it.” As soon as the idea quit ripping through her like a spring wind shaking the bushes. Which would probably be never. She sighed. Not today, though. Not after that kiss with Wade. How he’d consumed her. Taken her thoughts and tossed them out until she was left in a puddle of feeling. Lord, she was going to be worthless for the rest of the day. All her thoughts centered on Wade. The softness of his lips. The taste of his mouth and feel of his tongue. The gentle touch of his hands.

And she crammed another cookie sandwich in her mouth. Even if she knew what to say to John, there was no way she’d stay focused long enough to get it out. All these years. All this time.

She sank against her seat and tipped her head back. What in hell was she going to do now? On the drive back into town, she’d wanted and focused on one thing. Getting the life back she’d had before Wade touched her that night. Before he flicked the tips of her curls up and brought them to his nose.

She wouldn’t fall back into the endless pit of ignorant teen love, but she wanted the easygoing friendship she once shared with Whitney and Wade. Wade was complicating that. Complications, in her experience, led to mistakes.

A cold shiver hugged her and she grabbed the paper to clear her head.

Whitney took another cookie. “Again? I thought you read the whole thing this morning. You wrote on half of it.”

Kara turned through the pages and found page one. She’d jotted notes and remarks in the columns and she sat back in the chair. “Yes. Again.”

Chapter Twelve

Wade tried recalling the last time he felt so light. Kara asking him not to talk was the best damn thing she could have ever said. Enough had been said over the years, there was no point hashing it back out. Part of his brother’s words of cutting his loses were appealing, but Wade couldn’t do it.

He was following in his sister’s footsteps and taking a second chance. Kara had been here a week and he was completely distracted while being angry with her. Ignoring her and trying to get over her wasn’t working. Dropping the nonstop anger seemed the best option. Now that he knew she’d wanted him as much as he craved her, he just had to convince her it was a good idea for them to date.

He stopped at his bedroom window and looked across the field in the early-morning light. He blinked and squinted to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, but he wasn’t. Kara was in the strawberry fields as dawn rose over the horizon. He skipped coffee, breakfast, checking in with his sister, updating her on the status of the farming equipment he was creating and everything else he’d normally do in the morning in favor of slipping on his boots and heading for Kara while there was still a chance for privacy.

He started across the field, wishing for his sunglasses as she was squatted in front of the bright morning sun. The plants were growing well. The early spring and no frost had set them ahead more than usual. He reached her row and found a basket over her wrist as she examined plants, occasionally picking a ripe berry off and adding it to her collection.

He stopped next to her and squatted alongside, then noticed the music plugged in her ears. With a grin he reached over and plucked it out. “What’cha doing?”

She screamed and jumped, lost her balance and landed on her side in the damp mulch covering the ground between the rows. Her brows were drawn in together. “Wade, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” He held a hand out to pull her up, but she hesitated. It was no surprise she didn’t trust him. Hell, he wasn’t so sure how much he trusted her, but he was trying, and started with offering a smile. “Just helping you up. What are you doing out so early?”

She watched him another moment and he’d have given anything to know what was running through that mind of hers. Finally she put her hands in his and he lifted her up. She dusted off her pink cotton shorts and swiped at the plop of wet dirt clinging to her shirt. “I was getting an early start to make strawberry jam today. Whitney said to pick what I wanted. I thought I’d get out here early in the week so what I pick would start growing back in before the weekend and it wouldn’t look as empty.”

“Okay.” That was all he said, trying not to let this conversation move on to the topic of them. Or that kiss he’d taken from her yesterday. One he wanted to take again, right now. Yesterday she’d been spicy, no doubt from the jelly she’d made. Kara may have been gone for a while now, but he knew she had a weakness for strawberries. He’d called her shortcake because of her love for them. She had no doubt eaten several as she’d picked. The taste of her right now would be sugared sweet. The fullness of perfect berries on her tongue.

My God
,
yesterday was how it always should’ve been.
Her hands had shaken against his neck and when she kissed him back his whole damn world had taken off. For once, his feelings were mirrored in her.

Now they were alone and his hands could be in more places than simply on her cheeks. All her lean curves under her shorts and T-shirt would finally be against his hands.

And her hands would be on him. Those trembling fingers would open his belt and tug at the button of his jeans. The heavy, panting breaths that had fanned over his cheeks would hit his chest. He leaned a little closer to ease his way in.

She licked her lips and looked away. “Wade, I don’t know about this.”

But he did. He knew he wanted this. Had waited far too long and her nerves, while cute this morning with the way she kept her hands busy first in her hair then tugging her clothes, weren’t stopping him. He stepped closer as she retreated, but there was no escaping his longer stride and he quickly had her against his chest.

The shirt she wore was so damn soft and so completely thin his palms touched and intimately discovered the length of her back. Uncovered the feel of her shoulder blades shifting and moving as her hands went around his neck and his mouth came down to just devour her.

This kiss wasn’t nice like yesterday’s. He wanted her to know what he was after. That he wasn’t planning on taking things slow as he had before. There would be no leading her into a carefully planned seduction. This was needy. Fulfilling a hunger left starving for years that he never thought he would have the chance to satisfy.

She opened to him right away. Moans vibrated the back of her throat as he entered her mouth and slid his tongue across hers. Her hands gripped his shoulders. Her short nails were in his neck, pulling him closer or maybe pulling herself closer. Those crazy cotton shorts were far too easy to slip his fingers under the waistband and touch the elastic of her panties. The skin curving along the swell of her ass was as soft as her lips and he wanted to put his mouth there. Discover the scent of her lower back, then kiss around her hip as he lowered those shorts and pressed his mouth to the heart of her.

He stroked along the edge of her panties and hooked his fingers under the thin cotton.

She stilled. “Wade, what are you doing?”

He grinned instead of answering and lowered back to her mouth. She had requested silence, after all.

“Wade!” She pushed against his chest. “Say something.”

He kept her close. Lifted a hand to thread his fingers through her loose hair and whispered against his ear. “Last I heard, you asked me not to.”

“I also asked you to leave me alone and ignore me.” She twisted. She could get out of his hold if she really wanted to, but so far she wasn’t pushing against him that hard and until she did, he wasn’t taking his arms off. “But really. Stop. We can’t.”

“Why not?” He put his lips to the nape of her neck.

She shuddered and her voice cracked as she spoke. Her grip on him tightened. “I don’t want to make another mistake.”

That stopped him. “You think I’ll be one?”

“I don’t know what you’re going to be, but I’m not interested in screwing it up.”

“Who says you will?”

“History.” She pushed on his chest and this time he let her go. She left her basket by the strawberries she’d been picking and walked between the rows, her arms across her chest. “I want what I used to have here. The fun I used to have here. The family I used to feel a part of.”

“You can still have that.”

The wind pushed her hair back at him and it was tempting to catch so he could bury his face against the silkiness. She wound it all roughly in a ponytail and held it by her hands. “Not if we don’t work out, I can’t. I learned a long time ago why you’re not supposed to date your friends. It’s complicated. You can never go back. I don’t know if we’ll ever go back to the way we were.”

He followed as she left the garden and walked under the peach orchard. “The other night you said breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to you. Why?”

Her cheeks colored. “I started living. I made terrible, horrible, unforgivable choices, but at least I was doing something. When I got to Dad’s, I saw my grandma nearly every day. She was already in the canning business. She got too old to keep it up. I did it for her and I love it. Before you I was just waiting and life was passing me by. I grew up.”

“And now you’re back.”

She smiled and leaned against a tree. “I’m back.”

“And you’re not the same person.”

“Definitely not.”

He leaned a shoulder against the same tree. Wind played with loose hair on her face again. Before she wound it all up in her hands again, he tucked it behind her ears. “Well, hell, Kara, so why do you think you’ll make the same mistakes?”

Her nose wrinkled up as she made a face at him and lowered to the ground. “Who says I won’t?”

He sat next to her, put his arm over her shoulders and drew her in against his side. “You say you won’t, and you won’t.”

“Things aren’t always that easy.” She relaxed. “What have you been up to all these years?”

“Keeping up with the farm. Trying to keep Whitney in line and often failing at that.”

She chuckled. “No one special ever came along?”

Her question tightened his stomach. Had he been single since she left? No, but no one was enough to fill what he wanted. No one made him think of more. “There was one girl. Sweet. Pretty. When I first saw her I didn’t really notice her. Not like I should have. Too busy with my own life that it took me a while to realize what I was missing.”

“Stupid boy.”

He pinched her arm and she jumped and smacked him on the leg in return.

“What happened?”

“It all fell apart. Was out of my hands. I tried to put things back together, but I don’t know. I didn’t try hard enough, I didn’t wait on her long enough. She was gone.”

“Sorry to hear that, Wade. Maybe I should say stupid girl instead.”

“At the time I would have agreed with you.” He reached for her and pulled her across his lap. Her eyes were big. Hands braced on his chest, but not pushing off or away. “But then she came back.”

She dropped his gaze and he knew she’d figured out he’d meant her. “Wade.”

“Don’t be afraid. Not with me.”

“You should hate me.”

He frowned. “I never hated you. I was frustrated.”

“I destroyed your friendship with John.”

He cupped her cheeks and lifted her face to meet his. “That you didn’t do.”

“If I hadn’t been so stupid, you never would have lost your temper with him.”

“I lost my temper with him because he was talking trash about you one night. I thought he was full of shit, told him I better not ever catch him talking about you that way again. It was a few days later when I caught you two and, well, obviously he wasn’t lying about, um, you two being together.”

She sat down across his lower thighs and crossed her arms over her chest. “He talked about me that way?”

He only shrugged.

“What did he say?”

Oh hell no. No way. He wasn’t repeating what had been said that night. Not to anyone. Especially not her. “It was a long time ago, Kara. I’m not going to repeat it. He said it started as fun, but it didn’t end that way. Not for him.”

She shook her head and hugged herself. “No, he was sincere at the end. I still owe him an explanation.”

He rubbed her bare arms. It was a warm day. He knew she wasn’t cold. At least, not from the weather. “You keep saying you want to put the past behind you, but you’re the one still holding on to it.”

She glanced up and met his gaze through her lashes. “It’s not easy. I look at you, I remember what I did. I look in the mirror, I still see that reckless eighteen-year-old girl who left here as fast as she could.”

“I look at you and I see the beautiful woman I let get away from me.”

“Don’t say something you can’t take back.” Her words were down to a whisper.

“Why would I want to take it back?”

“What if we don’t work out, like last time?”

“I can’t imagine why we wouldn’t.”

“We’re different people now. I know I am. You too. You used to smile a lot more. Now you’re so serious. If we keep on, we won’t be able to go back.”

He’d never be able to be just friends with her again, regardless of what happened in the next few minutes. Now that he knew she felt the same, he wanted more. He pulled her forward and kissed her. Groaned when her hands wound around his neck and her breasts flattened to his chest.

She whispered against his lips. “This isn’t what I want.”

He moved his hands to settle against her hips. It took all his focus to not hold her there, but to just rest his hands against her. “You’re free to walk away at any time.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to.”

He knew the feeling. There was common sense. And there was driving desire that was so strong, so needy it was far more important than any normal sense. Lost in the middle of the orchard, he slowly wadded her shirt in his hands and stripped it overhead.

Her breasts were two perfect, creamy, beautiful swells, inches from spilling over her small bra. Kara’s breasts. He moved to cup her, intended to touch them, feel their weight, release them from the tight bra and discover the exact shade of her nipples before drawing her into his mouth. But her skin was so damn soft and her moans so damn sweet with his hands across her back.

All this time. All these years and he could kick himself in the ass for pulling her across his lap now, outside in this orchard where he wouldn’t lay her down. A place he couldn’t take his time or strip her completely naked to see if the red blush filling her cheeks to her breasts also shaded her thighs. He wouldn’t do that to Kara and the last thing he wanted was Whitney coming across him having sex with anyone. This was a gift. One he was going to take and hold because it was his.

Now he would focus all on Kara and try not to be overwhelmed by the straining ache of his cock trapped in his jeans. Where it would stay. He closed his eyes and breathed in. He’d hoped for a relieving breath of air, but instead it was full of Kara. Of her fruity shampoo. The sweetness on her skin and the unmistakable heady scent of her sex. A groan he couldn’t resist vibrated through his throat and he dropped his mouth to the sway of her neck and kissed across her delicate skin until reaching those beautiful swells of her breasts. Each lick, suck and slight bite pulled moans from her that curled his toes.

This wasn’t good enough. All these years and all this time, he needed more. He cupped her by the hips and lifted her higher, brought her up on her knees and left an openmouthed kiss on the slit of her belly button. He’d seen the little indent on her stomach endless times, but it’d never teased him like this.

The grip she held on his shoulders was strong, but her elbows by his face shook. Her breath was reduced to scattered pants and he pulled her in against his chest, buried his face in her cleavage.

“Wade.”