Never Stopped Loving You (18 page)

“I don’t mind waiting. You have a bunch. I’ll help you load your car.”

Would stomping her foot make things worse or better? And seriously, get a clue. How many times did she have to politely brush him off? Like hell was she making a scene in the middle of this store. Especially not since Mrs. Marabel—Sue’s sister and Maddy’s mom—just pulled up in line behind him, because apparently at nine o’clock at night, they only needed one checker. There was no missing the bunch of bananas in the top of the cart. Sue’s? Had she terrified the woman so much, she couldn’t stick around and buy her own bananas?

John was still there and she turned away from him. “Exercise will be good for me.”

He was standing next to her now, his bread placed in her buggy as he leaned against it. “I can’t help but think you’re trying to avoid me, Kara.”

Ding ding ding!
God, if she had confetti, she’d throw it at him. She took a breath to save herself from saying anything smart-mouthed or mean. “I need time. I’m not the same person I was all those years ago. I’m not going to jump into anything.” Unless it happens to be Wade’s bed, but never mind. Best to leave that part out. “All I have in mind is work and that’s it for now, okay? I need some space. To find my footing.”

“I understand. But, Kara, I’m here if you need anything.”

She smiled and this time, she didn’t have to force it. It was hard to stay angry with him when he was just so darn nice. If only he was more than just nice. But he wasn’t. “I know you are. Thanks.”

The person in front of her collected her items and Kara pushed her buggy forward for her turn to check out. And then she was so out of here as fast as she could get her things. The clerk, Stacey, her tag said, did the usual greeting as she rang up her items.

John plucked his things out of her buggy. “Kara, just because you want to take things slow and quiet doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

Oh, but it did. Because once she told him the truth of their relationship, the last thing he’d want to be was her friend. And she didn’t want him in her house, didn’t want his truck parked in her driveway and certainly didn’t want to be seen shopping with him again. Not just because Wade wouldn’t like it, but because she didn’t want the gossip or whispers to have anything on her. She was going to be straight as an arrow. Like she was before she flirted with her mom’s crazy switch. That sweet little girl who somehow managed to turn out even though her momma was a shit.

Stacey called out her total and Kara swiped her card. And immediately she was asked for her driver’s license. That was a good sign. That not everyone knew her dirty laundry.

Stacey’s eyes got big as she studied the driver’s license. “Oh my God. You’re the Kara Duncan?” Her gaze lifted to John and she clapped. “And John!”

All at once, Kara had a really bad feeling as John nodded that they were.

Stacey kept gushing as she keyed buttons on her register and the machine ran her card. “When I was younger, I used to listen in on Momma and her friends. They were always talking about you two.”

Oh, lovely. Not only did everyone know her dirty laundry, it was spread across generations.

John grinned and talked, so thankfully she wouldn’t have to. She could focus on getting her stuff and getting out of there. And then Stacey said something Kara had never imagined anyone would ever say about them. “It was
so
romantic.”

It was all Kara could do to keep her jaw off the floor and her eyes in her head.

“My friends and I used to talk about y’all. How even though you weren’t supposed to be together, you defied your parents’ wishes and became a couple anyway.” Stacey’s hands were now in full-on jazz-hand form and bouncing around in front of her chest. “It was Romeo and Juliet, only...you’re not dead.”

All Kara could do was stare. And stare some more. What? No...there was nothing romantic about what they did together. Nothing. They were trashy. The trashiest that people could be together. There was more than one occasion people knew what color her panties were. Kara had been horrified but stuck in the downward spin. There was nothing romantic about coming home at night and knowing that getting caught in a parking lot with her skirt around her hips was the only way she’d caught Wade or her mother’s attention.

Stacey pulled in a deep breath, slapped her hands flat on the counter in front of her. “And then you disappeared in the night. Nobody knew where you went for days and it really was so much like Romeo and Juliet. I can’t wait to tell everyone you’re back! And that you’re together again!” The girl clapped and bounced.

Oh, no. Kara flattened her hand over the small ledge. The real rumors were bad enough, she didn’t need fake ones flying around too. “I don’t know what got crossed where, but that’s not how it happened.”

Stacey frowned. “But Momma said...”

Kara shook her head. “No. I promise you that’s not how it happened.” She gestured to John and then herself. “And we’re not back together.” She knew she was shouting, but she wanted Mrs. Marabel at the back of the line to hear this part. “We just ran into each other in here.”

More than anything, she wanted to scream out, “Please don’t tell people that!” but she didn’t. She glanced around. John was going to be no help. Behind him Mrs. Marabel was staring at the candy bars. Now if she wanted to help out, Mrs. Marabel was someone who could not only tell the truth but make it out to be worse than what it actually was. Kara swallowed a hard knot and blinked fast to scratch the itch in her eyes. “Mrs. Marabel was...there a couple times. And I think she would agree with me when I say it wasn’t like Romeo and Juliet.”

“Kara,” John called.

She collected her receipt, bags, stuffed things in her buggy and didn’t answer.

“Kara,” he called out again. “Wait.”

But she didn’t. She fled the store as fast as she could. She was ever so glad she didn’t park near the front and she practically hid behind her car and thankfully a big four-door truck had pulled in next to her. She slung groceries into the backseat, grabbed her eggs and committed the worst offense ever. She left her buggy in a parking spot before getting out of there.

It couldn’t be helped. John called her name out again and she just wanted out of there. She couldn’t talk to him in public. She couldn’t blurt out what she needed to say and she didn’t want people like Mrs. Marabel getting the wrong idea and having even the tiniest bit of truth to tack on to the gossip.

She gripped the steering wheel, twisted her sweating hands around it and completely missed the turn down the street to her house. She drove another half mile before she was able to find a turnoff into the next neighborhood, intending to make the block, but no. Because it was a dead end.

She grit her teeth, pulled into someone’s driveway, backed out and backtracked to her street and this time, she made her turn. Really, what would have been so bad about staying in? Surely she could have put on her headphones and done jumping jacks in the backyard or something to distract herself.

Anything but that horrible, horrible trip to the grocery store. She slowed down for the stop sign and squinted because there was something in her driveway at the end of the next block. And that something was John’s truck.

“Son of a bitch!” What was so hard about no? Her fingers were whitened and numb around the steering wheel. No. Screw him. He could wait there all damn night for her. She made a left and headed down a different street.

Like hell was she getting caught with him at her house late at night. Never going to happen.

Chapter Twenty-One

At the sound of a car, Wade put his beer down. “Who the hell would be here at this hour?”

“Lord only knows. Momma and Daddy had this place open like a halfway house at times.” Whitney frowned and headed to the front.

Wade chuckled. “It was for a good reason.”

“I know. Just being younger and watching these drunk idiots stumble through the door, hiding from their parents, amused me. What, did they think they could show up the next morning and their parents wouldn’t know?”

Wade smiled. “Probably not, but it got them off the streets and kept them from driving home.”

“I wished they’d have learned to drive on the trails instead of cutting through the gardens half the time.”

“True, but most came back the next day and worked to make up for the damage.”

Whitney peeked out the window and then straightened. “It’s Kara.”

Whitney started to open the door, but he put his hand on her shoulder and stopped his sister. “Let me.”

Whitney frowned at him. “You’re not going to be ugly to her, are you?”

“No. We didn’t have much time to talk today. That’s all. After this morning, I want a chance to talk.” And hell, he didn’t even know. Try to find some common ground for them, because he was afraid she was pulling away from him, and fast. He had to prove to her that this was good and easy and anything but awkward. If things got awkward even a little bit, she’d start talking about doing something stupid. As far as he was concerned, the only stupid thing he could foresee would be her calling quits to whatever start their relationship had.

Whitney shook her head. “I’ll head up to my room and stay there, but if I hear you yelling, I’m coming down.”

“I’m not going to yell.” He hoped, and not just for Whitney, but because of Kara too. Calm smile was the look he was going after.

“You were snippy and nasty all afternoon.”

If he was short, it was Kara’s fault. She wouldn’t give him two minutes to talk. In those few moments they’d had, the talk hadn’t gone well. But for some reason, now she was here and this was his chance. He headed out the front and jogged down the steps. “You came. I’m glad.”

She started and faced him. “I...umm.”

Umm
was never a good sign, but he focused on that calming thing instead of that out-and-out jumping right into the talk he wanted. It hadn’t worked at lunch and she was standing too close to her car to risk trying it again right now. “Whitney was heading up to bed, but we can check the TV. See if there’s a movie on.”

Because that’s what friends did, right? They watched movies. And popcorn! God, he felt like a big dumbass. “Come on in and I’ll get the popcorn started. You can pick the movie.”

She released a breath. “I’m not here to watch a movie.”

“Cards instead?” He glanced around, searching for another excuse to keep this light and easy. “If you’re up for some work, I can always find something that needs to be done on fixing the house up. Could use some help there.”

She opened the back door to her car. “I went grocery shopping.”

A dozen or so bags were in the seat and floor. He grabbed as many as he could. “You bought groceries for us? No idea where you’re going to put all that in the refrigerator. You should have called Whitney. We already have two gallons of milk.”

She pulled several packages out. “I bought groceries for myself, but I couldn’t go home. It was either come here or let them ruin.”

He frowned. “Why couldn’t you go home?”

She shook her head and headed to the front door. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Kara.” But she was heading inside already. He started to yell, but swallowed it back so Whitney would stay in her room. And because yelling wasn’t the way to go. “You don’t need an excuse to come here.”

“Thanks.”

And that was it. He followed her back to her car where she grabbed another bag and he reached in for the last one. “But I still want to know why. Anything I can do to help? Or fix?”

“It’s nothing.”

Her mom was always a touchy subject. Kara never liked it at her house, so he let it go and unpacked bags in the kitchen. “Milk, eggs, butter, flour and loads of sugar.”

And that slapped a smile back on her face. “Brown sugar cupcakes with butter pecan buttercream frosting.”

“Sounds awesome.” Baking. Thank God. Something that would get her relaxed. It really shouldn’t surprise him too much that she loved baking and was also good at it. She’d baked all the time with Mom. Having her back and listening to her talk about family and home and all that, it just seemed to fit with that picture she wanted around herself.

Seeing packages of flour and sugar stretched across the counter even reminded him more of that idealistic home atmosphere. Almost every day Mom had this place looking just like Kara did right now. The cookie jar in the corner used to always be full, but it hadn’t in a long time. He eased over and peeked under the head of the ceramic bear and damn if it wasn’t full of chocolate chip cookies.

“Uh-oh.” Laughter was in her voice. “Whitney’s going to be disappointed you finally found those.”

He lifted one out and gestured with it. “I can’t believe you’ve been keeping these from me.”

She lifted a shoulder. “I tried keeping them from Whitney. She found them within six hours.”

He looked at the cookie. “I like having you here.”

The edges of her smile tinted red with a blush. “From what Whitney said of how y’all eat, I’m surprised either of you are still alive.”

He shook his head. “Not just your cooking.” He lifted the cookie and turned it around. “I don’t know. All your talk of wanting to find your place here and you do stuff like this. It makes me see the home I haven’t had in a long time. Growing up, the house was always busy with more things happening because Mom always had something planned. Then suddenly it’s just me and Whitney most of the time.” The cookie crumbled a bit around his fingers. He pulled the chewy snack in half. “You came back, slipped in where you fit and now it’s not so quiet and empty.”

She pushed hair that had come loose behind her ear. “I’m sure y’all have stuff going on some of the time. Just not as much.”

“Not really. Patrick, Tasha and the boys come out for an afternoon and we grill or something. That happens once a week or so. More in the summer when the kids are out of school.” He cleared his throat and realized he probably sounded like a rambling idiot. He grabbed a bag and pulled items out. “So anyway, where do you want this stuff?”

“Just right there on the counter is fine for now.” She unloaded another bag and left a carton of eggs to the side. The tension that had darkened her face and drawn in her eyes had eased to a big smile as she pulled out a small bottle of something. He was tempted to grab her headphones and just sit back and watch her work her magic with that little dance, but he wanted to talk too.

She wadded the plastic sacks up and stuffed them in the lower drawer for use on other things. “I think I’m going to do some white cupcakes with sugar frosting for Whitney, because she likes the classic. But maybe I’ll make the cake part like a rainbow to add variety. And it’ll be fun.”

He leaned an elbow on the counter and smiled at her. “And what about me?”

“You...what?”

He chuckled. “You get brown sugar, butter pecan thing. Whitney gets special rainbow kind. What’s for me?”

Her eyes widened. Mouth opened, then closed. Opened again.

He waited. “Well?”

She blinked, drummed the counter and pointed at him. “Chocolate cake. You sit down with the whole cake every Thanksgiving and hog it. Whatever is left, you used to hide. Your momma started making two every year because of it.”

He straightened and rubbed his stomach. “Good pick.”

She turned and opened the freezer. “But only if you’re lucky and all the ingredients I need are here. I just picked things up at the grocery store thinking I was just going to do some cupcakes for me.”

“I’m feeling lucky.” And not just for cake, but because she was here and she was smiling now.

She chuckled and flipped through the freezer. “Aha! You are lucky.”

“Told you.”

She came out with a bag of powdered sugar his mom had no doubt stashed in there to keep any possible bugs out of it. Kara dropped the sugar on the counter. “Now your cake gets frosting too.”

“Better have frosting. That’s the best part.”

“And now it will.”

He pulled the flour and sugar close and opened the tops of the sacks so they’d be ready. “Sounds like we have a long night ahead.”

“We?”

He only smiled at her. “What kind of friend would I be if I left you alone to all this baking?”

An eyebrow rose. “I remember you routinely blowing up burritos in the microwave.”

He laughed. “That was on purpose.”

She pushed off the counter. “That’s not what I remember you telling your mom and dad.”

“Hell, no.” He opened boxes of food coloring and collected up the trash while she pulled out bowls. “Dad would have tanned my hide, but I’m good at instructions and stirring.”

“And hopefully washing dishes.”

He rubbed his hands together. “I should have medals for how good I can wash. I had to clean the microwave after blowing stuff up in it.”

She pulled out spoons and a measuring cup with a chuckle. “All right, all right. You can stay.”

“Awesome. What’s first?”

“Let’s start with Whitney’s cupcakes.”

“Why does she go first?”

“Most involved. Will be good to get them in the oven. You going to help or not?”

“I think we should start with my cake.”

She shook her head. “We start with cake and you’ll disappear to another room with it and I’ll lose my dishwasher.”

He twisted his rag and lightly popped her on the leg. “I’m also good at other things.”

“Like preheating the oven? Three twenty-five.”

He turned the oven knob, and then moved behind her as she pushed and organized ingredients and bowls around on the counter. He put his hands on her stiff shoulders. “Also good at this.”

She stilled. “Wade.”

He focused on keeping this light, wanting back what they had last night. Last night was easy. “When you’ve been hunching over that counter for a couple hours, think of how great this will feel.”

She put her hand on his and stopped him. “I can’t do this.”

“Don’t think about it. Just be like last night.”

Her head lowered and body softened. “Last night was good.”

“It was great. So easy with us.”

With a heavy sigh, she turned and faced him. “I still can’t do this.”

He pulled away from her, as much as it hurt to do it. “What do you want, Kara? I need to know.”

“I want to find the friendship we used to have. What I used to have with Whitney. I want to be able to walk through that front door like I used to, without having this ball of knots in my stomach and afraid of what might happen that day.”

Well that wasn’t what he was expecting. “And last night?”

She took a breath. “Is just that. It was just last night.”

“Kara.”

Her fingers turned to fists. “I’m trying. And I don’t know what to do, but I don’t want to mess up. I want to fix what people say about me. I don’t want people talking bad about you or Whitney, Tate or your mom because of me.”

“No one is going to say anything.”

“They already are. Please, Wade. Please. I walked out the bar with John to come clean with the past and people are already talking. For goodness sakes, I’m hiding from my home tonight because he’s there and I don’t want us seen together at my house late at night because I know what they’re going to say.”

What the fuck. He straightened. “He went inside your home? Without you there?”

Her eyes went round and big. “No! No. He was in his truck in the driveway. That’s all.” She lowered her head. “I ran into him at the grocery store. I tried blowing him off and he wanted to talk.”

He leaned back over the counter and gripped the edge. “So maybe you should have talked.”

“I was trying not to make a scene or make things worse. Mrs. Marabel was there and she wouldn’t stop watching. I got cornered in the grocery store by part of the Bella Bitches.”

“The Bella Bitches?” He frowned.

She waved him off. “Ashley Carter and Jeannie Duke.”

He still frowned. “I always thought they were nice.”

“Because you’re Wade Chester. Ask Whitney. They’re crazy.”

He waved it off. “I don’t understand what that has to do with us.”

“Because they saw John talking with me and were elated to see I finally got my claws out of the Chesters before ruining you all. And then I saw Sue and she was afraid of me.”

Tears were rimming in her eyes as she straightened and adjusted the items in front of her. She put her hands flat on the counter and looked down. “She was really afraid of me because Momma hit her in the head with a vase.” She shook her head and rubbed at her temples. “Do you know some teenager tonight accused John and me of having a Romeo and Juliet relationship and the reason we’re not together is because of our
parents?
”

He stroked a hand over his head. This was not what needed to happen so he could finally have what he wanted—her. And she was pulling away. And making damn good reasons why he should give her space and he hated that more than anything. Because she was right, on some level, about them. “Christ.”

“I’m trying to make everything right. I’m not just being stubborn or crazy. You don’t see the looks I get, Wade. I earned those looks and I want to earn something different. When I came back, I thought I was just facing my past. And I was somewhat ready for that. But it’s more. I’m having to face Momma’s too. I’ve always wanted this with you, but I can’t.”

He refused to give up. He’d given up too soon last time. “Screw what other people think.”

A sad smile turned her lips and she shook her head. “You and I both know I can’t do that.”

Right again, but he refused to believe it. Because if he agreed, then they didn’t have a shot. “Chester Farms will be fine. Whitney, Tate and I will be fine for whatever they have to say.”

“But I won’t be. I’ve been running from my past for a long time. Trying to forget it. I can’t do it anymore.” Her eyes watered all over again and this time it wasn’t just a little wetness around the edges. Water puddled at the corners.