Never Stopped Loving You (21 page)

Kara’s eyes met his and he only grinned back. This couldn’t be more perfect and Wade was never more ready for next weekend. It was going to give her exactly what she wanted. Times like she used to have. And it would give him something too. More time with Kara somewhere close by.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Now Kara had really gone and done it. She’d wanted to spend time with Wade, now she had it. In the form of all night long around a campfire. Starting in about two hours. This week it had been hard enough to keep her feelings ordered and in place, and she hadn’t even been around him that much. He’d wave as he crossed the yard. Or tell her good morning when he came through the kitchen to get coffee. And that’s it. Nothing major. No touching. No flirting. Just in passing. Same thing since that night after the grocery store. He was keeping his word and keeping them at friends, but it was rough. Every time he waved or passed through, she lost all track of what she was supposed to be doing.

And then today. Friday. The day they agreed to camp with Tasha and Patrick’s boys. Not that she minded. They were going to be fun. The boys. The rest would be heck on her nerves. Actually, take that back. Her nerves were already strung out from preparing for the evening.

Earlier they had rolled out the tents. She’d suggested they wait because the boys would want to help. Probably. She hoped because two excited little boys would sure help with her drooling as Wade walked around shirtless in tight jeans. But then Wade had thrown a wrench in her plans with his, “these are so old, I’d rather get them out this time and make sure there’s no holes or anything so I have time to get a new one if I need to.”

Of course he was right. So she’d braced herself for it and helped pitch the tents. And it was worse than she could have imagined. He was exactly what she wanted him to be. Kind. Sweet. Focused on the work they were doing and not flirting with her. It took her back to when she was fourteen years old, seeing Wade and him treating her not indifferent, but not extra special either. And she realized all over again how she’d fallen for him.

She stared at the old cookie recipe in Jana Chester’s cookbook and tried to make sense of it. Not that Jana’s recipe was sloppy—far from it—but Wade was in the corner of the room, preparing the last of the hot dogs for the campfire later. And he was working far faster than she was.

“Is something wrong?”

At his deep voice she glanced up to find him chopping onions. “Nothing. Just reviewing the recipe before starting. Rule number one of cooking.”

She blew out a breath. There. That didn’t sound crazy, did it? Not as crazy as her nerves.

“Like old times, isn’t it?”

Lord, more than he would ever know. More than he would
ever
know. She focused on the neat print and unwrapped her sticks of butter. “Just about.”

“Weird, though, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” What else could she say? Oh my God, she’d forgotten how awkward and intense this could be. Being around him, stuffing her feelings back and hating it. Trying to pretend like she didn’t notice how his jeans cupped his rear end or how his shoulders stretched his T-shirt. This time was for the best, though, she told herself all over again. And then again, because she needed all the extra reminders she could get.

“Yeah. Used to be Dad getting the hot dogs ready and Mom making the snacks. Now it’s me and you. Weird how one day you turn around and suddenly you’re the adult.”

“True.” She dumped the eggs in her mixer and turned it on. They were the supposed adults. Ha, too bad he made her feel like she was fourteen still. The humming noise of the mixer thankfully offered her a bit of silence from him. Not that she gained any sense from it. Not that she expected to. She added the sugar a half cup at a time, wanting to drag this out, but knowing she couldn’t or she’d risk overmixing her cookies.

Wade finished with the hot dogs and moved alongside her. “Need any help?”

“Uhh.”
Real smart
,
Kara
. She blinked and returned to the recipe. “Vanilla.”

“How much?” He grabbed the measuring spoons.

“Tablespoon.” Now where was the vanilla? She glanced over the ingredients spread across the counter. A variety of nuts, chocolate chips, white chips, cranberries, there was a little bit of everything. Little of everything but vanilla, apparently. She fumbled through the items again, looking for it. “It was right here.”

He reached over, his forearm brushing the tips of her breasts and her nipples hardening to points that knotted all her muscles as he stretched, grabbed the vanilla that was right under her nose and pulled back. All on a long, barely-there glide over her nipples with his arm stroking right in front of her where she could smell the fresh scent of his shower.

He twisted the top off. “Feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just didn’t see.”

“You look flushed. You’re not getting sick are you?” He focused on pouring the vanilla, no hint of humor on his tongue.

Which was good. Because there was nothing funny about why she was flushed. Just frustrating, that’s all. “It’s hot in here. The oven heats it up.”

He added the vanilla and turned, lifting the window at her back. A breeze, scented of flowers, eased through and wrapped around her. “Better?”

She wasn’t even close to being better, but she’d be fine. She dumped the last of the ingredients in, separated out the dough in different bowls and pushed them around the table. She pulled forward all the chips, nuts and fruits. “Pick what extras you want in the cookies. We’ll do a couple different kinds.”

He didn’t reach. He only looked at her. “What kind do you want?”

Air. Breathe it in and out. Just in and out while he looked at her in that lazy way of soft eyes and patient waiting. She pulled a bowl forward and grabbed walnuts and dried cranberries. “These.”

He made a face. “Gross.”

A smile started and, what the hell, she didn’t fight it. “You thought I forgot your hatred of cranberries? As often as your mom put them on your plate hoping you’d try ’em, there’s not a chance.” She added another handful of dried sweet cranberries for good measure. “These babies are mine, all mine. Maybe I’ll melt some chocolate down and dip the rest of my cranberries.”

“Why you want to waste good chocolate like that?”

“I was going to dip you some peanuts too, but if you’re going—”

He smiled and picked through the items. “Now I didn’t say that.”

She spooned out her cookies and placed them on a sheet as he added dark chocolate chunks to his batch. She knew Gabe would want oatmeal raisin and she was pretty sure there was some rolled oats in the pantry. She pulled some out, doctored up another one of the bowls with those ingredients and spooned the others on the pan and slid that batch into the oven. “What kind do you think for Dustin?”

“Straight chocolate chip.”

“Think so?”

He nodded. “I think so. If not we can sneak back in here and make more later, but I’m thinking chocolate chip.”

A shudder went through her. He could suggest they sneak anywhere and she’d probably go at this point. The back door swung open and Whitney bounced in with two shopping bags of marshmallows. “We have campfire extra-jumbo size, regular size, half size for s’mores and even some minis. And then I came across strawberry-flavored and cinnamon and sugar!”

Kara laughed. “One bag would have been plenty.”

“I know but I couldn’t pick!” She turned one of the bags upside down. “And it’s been forever since we did this! I can’t wait.”

Wade spooned his chocolate chip cookies onto the pan. “I think it’s going to be a miracle if you two still fit in that old tent like you think you will.”

Whitney’s brows slashed down. “We haven’t gotten that big!”

Wade laughed. “You’re not twelve anymore.”

Kara chuckled as she spooned the last of the cookies onto the same tray. “We’ll be fine. We won’t have all the toys and junk packed in there. That stuff used to take up the space of a third person.”

Whitney’s eyes got big. “Oh my goodness, we squeezed and stuffed things in corners and everywhere we could stick it. One time we even had our nail polish kit with that drying thing at the end of the bed and slept with our feet on top of it all.”

Wade frowned. “You mean you two aren’t going to stay up half the night painting your nails?”

Kara swapped out the trays in the oven. “By the time we get all this done, I bet we crash. Thankfully you have the boys in your tent to deal with while we sleep.”

“Oh no. It’s payback time. All those late nights you kept me awake with your girly laughing and whispering is coming back at you.”

Kara looked to Whitney. “I can pull the pegs out of the ground and move our tent to the other side of the fire.”

Whitney laughed. “I’ll help you.”

He stretched, rolling his arms up overhead enough that his shirt lifted and a little slice of his hard stomach and the dark hair on his belly showed above his jeans. “Nah. By the time Tate and I are done with them, they’ll crash hard. I doubt they make a noise.”

Whitney jumped. “Tate decided to come?”

Wade nodded. “Yep.”

Kara moved around and packed the bags of marshmallows in a big basket to take outside. “Awesome. I couldn’t remember if he liked camping in the backyard or not.” She’d been too busy staring at Wade and then playing with Whitney to notice anything else.

Wade slipped his boots on by the door. “He didn’t love it, but back then he thought he was going to have to run the farm and stuff, so he hated being here. I’m going to get the wood gathered for the fire.”

She stared at the oven door, faintly remembering more about Tate. There had been a couple late nights when he’d come through that kitchen door with his friends. There had been fights. She knew Tate hadn’t wanted in the family business of the farm. He’d wanted college and something else. When she’d left, he was off at college and rarely came home because there was still more fighting. Mostly with their dad.

“I don’t guess I ever heard how Tate worked things out with your parents? He seems happy now, though.”

Whitney swallowed and picked up the cookie dishes. “He is. Momma always understood he didn’t want to be tied to the farm. Dad...not so much.” Whitney took a breath. “They never worked out their differences before Dad died. Dad didn’t make it easy on Tate and Tate’s quick temper didn’t help either.”

A pang struck Kara’s chest. He and Jana both were such sweet people to her. A real rock. Lord only knows where she’d have ended up if not for them both. She wished Tate and Whitney could have had the relationship with them both as she had. She glanced across the kitchen, to the coffee pot and the old cabinet door where he’d so often fixed that big thermos of coffee and would drain the pot before Jana could get a mug of her own first. She’d scold him. He’d kiss her cheek and say she still loved him anyway and they’d laugh.

Tears filled Kara’s eyes. “I miss your dad.”

Whitney nodded. “He was a hard-ass with me a lot, but I still wish he was here.”

“I hate I couldn’t be here when he passed. I wanted to, but there was no one there for Grandma and she was failing around the same time too.” Losing them both within a few months of each other, Kara hadn’t really realized how much she’d missed Sam. Back then it was hard to process anything beyond keeping up with the canning business and caring for her grandma around the clock.

Whitney rubbed her shoulder. “I wouldn’t have expected you to leave your grandma’s side for his funeral.”

Kara nodded. “Thanks.”

Whitney cleared her throat and rolled her shoulders back. “Goodness, look at us. We’re supposed to be having fun.”

Kara hugged her friend. “Just like old times.”

“Well almost. We won’t be getting high off fingernail polish in that tent this time.”

Kara laughed and pulled out the second batch of cookies. That guilty pang in her stomach eased a little. Here she was back home. And again, this old home was starting to feel like a home. A real home.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kara lifted Gabe’s poker a little higher. “Not so low. You’ll catch it on fire again.”

He screwed up his face. “This takes forever to get it the good way.”

Kara chuckled. “But it’ll be worth it. Look at Whitney over there.”

Whitney was kicked back in a near sugar-crash coma after eat a kabob of marshmallow varieties. She did manage a big smile. “Totally worth it.”

He made another face and Kara laughed. “We won’t eat fifteen like she did, though.”

She rotated the poker around, letting it slowly warm and toast the marshmallow on both sides. When Wade was close, things were tense and a little stressful, but overall, this had been a great afternoon. Once Patrick and Tasha had dropped the kids off, things ran as smooth as melted butter. Two busy toddlers had a way of distracting her from pretty much everything.

But now she was down to one toddler who was content just sitting still while roasting his marshmallow to perfection. And that was cool and all, but now she had nothing to do but watch Wade throw that football at Dustin. Even though the sun was down, the back light shining off the top of the house hid nothing of his broad smile or the light in his eyes as he had knelt at Dustin’s side and showed him to how hold his hands.

For the past twenty minutes, she’d watched him slowly teach the boy to catch. Heart, meet melting point.

First Wade focused on a few yards apart. Really showed the boy how a properly thrown ball would land in his hands. Then farther apart and now they were working on running catches. Dustin was trying, but he wasn’t there. Not that he’d know it. Tate would run up and tackle the boy if he wasn’t even close to catching it.

Wade threw again and Tate bear-hugged Dustin and they both hit the ground again.

“All right!” The boy got up and pointed at Tate. “Your turn to catch and I get to tackle!”

They bantered back and forth and Kara checked her marshmallow to see it was toasted brown. She pulled it back, gave it a quick test squeeze and raked it off on a plate. “Here we go.”

“It’s ready?” Gabe asked.

“It’s ready. But hot, so be careful.” She raked off a bit of the crusty part. “Eat that part.”

He swiped it off the plate, moaned and flashed her a big smile.

She poked at the melted blob of marshmallow. “Go ahead and eat the rest.”

And she didn’t have to tell that kid twice. He put the whole thing down, set the plate aside and asked for more cookies.

“Maybe one more. If you don’t tell your mom.”

Whitney laughed. “I say let’s eat another and tell her!”

“Yeah!” The kid jumped up.

The two took off to the kitchen about the time Wade threw another short pass. Tate caught it and Dustin bear-hugged him around the waist. “I got you!”

“You have to take me down!” Tate struggled with the kid across the yard.

Kara got up, deciding to enjoy this warm spring evening for what it was. Friends out having a great night. She darted across the grass, hooked her arm around the football and stripped it out of Tate’s unknowing hands. “
Oohhh
fumble!”

Dustin jumped off Tate and pointed at the house behind Wade. “Run!”

She laughed and she ran and it felt so good. How often had they played football with a campfire smoking nearby? Too many times to count. Somehow she had back the life she’d thrown away.

And then she looked up and Wade stood in her path.

She slowed her run, her thoughts lost to Wade and everything he could do to her, for her. How with him, everything she dreamed of came true so long as they never broke up. Or never got too serious. That wasn’t a possibility. How could she not completely fall for her teenage love...again?

Dustin caught up to her. “Why did you slow down? Run!”

Oh, right. Unexpected serious football game was on the line here.

Wade was still in front of her, now leaning over, weight in his toes and bouncing. “Because she knows she has nowhere to go!”

Definitely true there. And not just for this football game. They were running still, closing in on him. She looked to Dustin. “Catch!”

“Me?”

“Yes!” She tossed the ball, her throat tight and stomach balling as he fumbled the ball between his hands and that was the last she saw as Wade plowed into her.

Arms wrapped around her, muscles and heat tucked her in close. She squeezed her eyes shut and hit the ground with a laugh bubbling out her throat. His face was against her cheek. Hot sweat seeping through his T-shirt rubbed against her shoulders.

He leaned up and smiled down at her. “Not hurt, are you?”

“What do you think I am, a wimp?”

Dustin screamed and she pushed on Wade’s chest, expecting the worst. The boy was doing a victory dance.

“Yes!” She threw her hands up and punched Wade right in the face.

His hands flew to his face, his eyes squeezed shut and he rolled off her to his back.

“Are you okay?”

He blinked open watery eyes, hands stayed over his nose. “Are you calling
me
a wimp now?”

Then red seeped out between his fingers. She screeched and moved to her knees. “You’re bleeding!”

“Probably.” He sat up with a grunt that might be better called a groan. “Shit.”

Dustin ran back with the ball. “I made a touchdown!” The smile stayed on the boy’s face, but his head cocked to the side. “Whoa. What happened to your face?”

Wade pushed to his feet, while keeping one hand on his nose, but there was so much blood. It dripped down his arm. “Hazard of tackling without helmets.”

“Really?” The kid dropped the ball. “Can I try next?”

Kara laughed and guided Wade inside. “I think one bloody nose a day is good enough.”

Tate jogged over and glanced. “Let’s hope it’s broken.”

“Thanks.” Wade tipped his head at him. “Love you too.”

“Trying to think of ways to improve that ugly mug of yours.”

Kara opened the door and glanced back as blood dripped off his elbow now. “Oh geez!”

His brows lifted. “Just a bloody nose. It’ll be fine.”

Boys were idiots. She grabbed a rag and tossed it to him as she started through the house to the bathroom for cold water and another rag. She shuffled through drawers as he came in and finally found the rags that had been moved two drawers down from where they were years ago.

He leaned against the counter and tipped his head back. “I need a cotton swab or a cotton ball.”

She wet the rag and traded it out for the other dishrag he’d already bled through. “Oh my God. I think we need to go to the hospital.”

He chuckled.

“I’m serious!” She rinsed out the rag she just took from him and then cleaned up his arm and chin best she could.

“It’s going to swell. Maybe bruise. Eventually it’ll stop bleeding. There’s nothing they can do.”

“Are you sure?”

His brow lifted to hers. “Not my first broken nose.”

“It’s broken?”

Under the rag, the edges of his lips turned up. “I don’t know. Probably not. But I do need something to put up my nose.”

Q-tips. Right. She flipped through drawers but found nothing. Not even a cotton ball in this spare bathroom.

He headed out the door. “I have some in my bathroom.”

She stepped in his bathroom behind him and came to a short stop. Oh my Lord, what was she thinking? Heat flushed through her from head to toe. The wall he’d pushed her against was there. The shower she’d gotten down on her knees for him over there. The floor space where her clothes had been dropped.

“Something wrong?”

She pulled in a breath, because she’d lost her last one sometime in the past few seconds. “Nothing.”

His head was back, but tilted a bit to the side and he watched her with one eye. “Are you sure?”

She rubbed her arms and walked forward. This would be okay. She could be smooth and normal about this. Then she tripped over her own feet and flew right into his body, knocking him against the counter.

She just closed her eyes. Remained perfectly still to feel his arms around her and holding her tight. Inhaled the soft scent of light sweating and his spicy body soap and pretended she hadn’t just thrown herself at him. She managed to find the will to stand, knowing that he needed stuff for his nose, and pulled out of his arms. Also the fact that lying against him and daydreaming was not maintaining the friendship. “Sorry.”

His mouth was covered, but she could still see his charming smile in his eyes. “Now I’ll have a bruise on my hip from where you threw me into the counter to match my face.”

She winced. “I’m sorry.”

“I was kidding. Second drawer.”

She moved in beside him and dug through his things. Combs. Deodorant. Cologne. Hair gel. She didn’t even know he wore hair gel anymore. The swabs were in the back and she pulled them out. He faced the mirror and leaned over, quickly dropping the rag, shoving two swabs up his nose and then he turned back around, head tilted back and fingers pinching his nose in one seamless-looking move.

She got a new rag, wet it and wiped away the rest of his chin and down his corded throat. Holy heck, his throat had gotten sexy over the years. “Um, how long will it bleed for?”

“Thirty minutes. Maybe an hour at the most.”

“That long?”

His gaze lowered to hers. “Was there something you wanted to do?”

Oh yeah. Oh definitely yeah. There was a bunch she wanted to do that involved him and her and especially his bed. She lied instead. “No. Let me go check on the kids.”

“I’ll be here.”

She pushed her hands in her pockets to keep them to herself. “Anything you want me to bring you?”

“Do we have any cookies left?”

“I know there are some of my cranberry ones.”

“Cruel woman!” he yelled toward the ceiling. “After beating me up you would poison me?”

She laughed. “I’ll see what I can dig up.”

She never left a room as fast as she did that one. Except maybe his bedroom that she had to walk through with only a glance at his bed. Really, just a quick glance. Quick enough to see the same sheets that she had put on were still on the bed. Chills shivered over her skin as she remembered the soft cotton slide of them against her naked body.

She headed down the hall and jogged down the stairs to find Whitney cleaning up in the kitchen. “Need any help?”

Whitney glanced up. “Tate’s with the boys in the boy tent getting them settled down. I was picking up in here. How’s Wade?”

“Still bleeding.”

Whitney made a face. “Gross.”

“Pretty much. Do we have any cookies left?”

She pointed to the pantry. “Just bagged the leftovers and put them up.”

She walked in the small little closet and found them stashed on the top shelf. “Thanks. He was hoping for anything but my cranberries.”

Whitney wiped the white counter down until a wet sheen was across the top and it looked like a fresh sheet of ice. She tossed the rag in the sink and faced Kara. “What are you waiting on?”

“For what?”

“For Wade.”

She held up the bag. “I don’t figure he’ll be able to eat these until the bleeding stops anyway.”

Whitney shook her head. “Not the cookies. I mean you two. I know he wants you since he asked me about you two.”

Kara lifted a brow and waited.

Whitney only shook her head. “Nothing specific, he just asked if I was okay with you two getting together. I’m fine with it, but you know that already. So I know it’s not him with the problem.”

Kara put the cookies on the counter and climbed on a bar stool. Problem. That about summed it up. “I’m not sure I can.”

“I don’t get it. I know you’re crazy about him. Hell, anyone around you two for five seconds would see the attraction.”

“What if we don’t work out? I lose everything.”

Whitney frowned. “What’s everything?”

Kara gestured at the room. “Here. The farm. Maybe you again.”

Whitney snorted. “The only way you lose me is if you become a douche bag, and I don’t see that happening.”

A smile managed out despite her depressing thoughts and situation. “But I can’t drop in at the farm anytime I want to like I do now.”

Whitney shrugged. “Why not? This is my home too and I bet by the end of the year Wade will have his house finished.”

Well true. It wouldn’t be the same since Wade would have his own place. There would be no more nights like this one, though. “Things seem to finally be coming back together and I don’t want to screw it up.”

“You have to do something, Kara. Wade’s my gross older brother, but he’s a good guy and you’re making him miserable by keeping him in limbo.”

Her heart crumbled a little at that. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“Take it slow or break it off completely. It’s not fair to him to keep him hanging.”

“I told him that. I told him I couldn’t right now. That maybe one day. He says he’s not waiting for me.”

Whitney shook her head. “He says one thing, but there’s no way he means that. Either be hard and cutting and make it final or give him something to go on. Pick what you want the most.”