Nevermore, the Complete Series (80 page)

He smiled weakly and stared up into my eyes. “My twin soul…I will always, always love you…even in death.”

“No…” I said faintly as I noticed a large pool of blood forming beneath my love’s body. I gripped tighter onto his hand, as if that would keep him with me longer. “Salem…no! You’re not going to die…you’re barely hurt…you’ll be fine. We’re going to go home to Willowshire, Hannah and Ezra will be there waiting for us with our daughter…with Lenore, and we will fight together to get our son back!”

“Shh,” he whispered and smiled up at me again before wincing in pain. “You helped me…achieve everything I ever wanted in life…”

“And I’ll continue to do so, damn it! You’re not dying!” I shouted, visibly shaking from frustration. “This is all my fault. I should never have trusted Cassius. Why didn’t I listen to you?”

“Because you’re stubborn,” Salem laughed, regretting it almost immediately as his body convulsed violently then suddenly stopped. He inhaled slowly and relaxed against the dirt beneath him. “Lay with me, Alex, one more time…like by the lake.” He coughed and a small trickle of blood began to run from the corner of his mouth. “Do…do you remember?”

Obliging, I rested beside him and laid my head gently against his chest, listening to his labored breaths. “Of…of course I remember. Don’t leave me, Salem,” I whispered. “Not like everyone else…”

“I will never leave you, Alex,” he replied hoarsely and gave one final request. “Kiss me, my little raven…”

I lifted my head to look at him, noting the sweat and fatigue across his face and pressed my lips firmly against his, savoring the moment until I no longer felt him returning the gesture.

“S-Salem…?” He did not answer.
“Salem, please. Not like this…not now. Please!” Tears began to run in torrents as it began to sink in just what had happened. My Salem was gone.

Suddenly something tugged at my unbroken arm and I half-expected to find Cassius ripping me away from the body of my husband. Instead, I found Hannah behind me, her face painted with anguish. She must have come back for us once she knew Ezra and Lenore were safe.

“Come on, Alex…” she said in a hushed tone. “He’s gone. Leave him, let’s g-go.”

My body collapsed in my sister-in-laws embrace and a shrill scream filled the air as I wept.

“Leave me! Let me die…”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Please…just let me die!” I screamed.

“You have a daughter to
raise. You’re coming with me,” she said, picking me up against my will and slinging me over her shoulder. For a moment I fought to get free but it was no use, I was weak compared to her. As I stopped struggling I looked back at Salem’s body lying there motionless and fading off into the distance. The only thought that comforted me at all as the tears streamed down my face was that Salem had gotten what he wanted—to live and die a mortal life.

That is all I remember, to the best of my ability. It has been almost two years since I lost Salem. Two years since I was admitted here to Littlehaven—the same place my grandpa Richard had been for years. It was ironic, really. He had been here because he refused to admit that vampires and all the monsters from his past were not real—I couldn’t admit that either. Jason said that he originally called them to get me ‘cause he feared for my life—feared that I would commit suicide.

It was true that I didn’t care much if I lived or not. Half of my soul was lost in Romania. I was careless in the things I said to the doctors and nurses at first…I didn’t care who knew. I told them of vampires…of my children. That was enough to ensure my stay. I am still less cautious than I should be, and I can only imagine they will read all this that I have written. It has taken a year to finish my story. The staff here tells me it is good for me to keep a journal. That recording all my thoughts and memories will help me recover and get over this fantasy.

I refused for a long time. That was until my aunt Kim visited last spring. She let me know that Richard had passed away. While she was here I begged her to let the doctor’s know I wasn’t crazy, and that it had all been real. She was very vague in her answers, but I assume she didn’t want thrown in here too…or thrown out for feeding my fantasy. After her visit I wondered about all that Richard had seen in his life. I wondered what wealth of information was lost when he left this world. I wished he too had kept a journal of his life, and so I began to write for anyone in the future who may care.

The visits from Jason and Eila have become less and less frequent, especially since their wedding last winter. I would have never thought Jason would be the type for a winter wedding; it must have been Eila’s idea. I hoped she was taking care of him. I could certainly tell by his appearance that he was enjoying her cooking.

They had adopted Lenore. I was thankful for that. I’m still not sure if I am crazy or if all that I have written happened, but either way she deserves a normal life. I’ve not seen her since the week I got back from Romania and miss her fiercely. Aside from Hannah, Lenore is the last thing in this world still connecting me to Salem. They tell me there was only one baby, that I never had twins. My dreams over the years tell me differently. I still see them both every time I sleep. A beautiful little girl with dark hair and glistening violet eyes…a perfect little boy with jet black hair and fierce red eyes.

To my surprise Jason came by two weeks ago, he was alone. I always know there is something wrong when he doesn’t bring Eila. He let me know that they were moving away from Willowshire. Eila got accepted for some school there, and Jason had just heard word back about a store manager position he had applied for. He said there was nothing left for him here. His parents had ended up not being able to reconcile and went on to have a divorce. Mitchell had gone off to culinary school somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Karen was gone. I was gone too, he said.

“I just wanted to let you know. I mean…I know I haven’t had the chance to visit a lot lately, but after this…well…I don’t know when I will be back.
Maybe never.”

I would have cried at the thought of never seeing my friend again, but the tears would not come. I felt more hollow and empty than sad. I felt alone.

“J-Jace…” I said as he turned to leave.

“Yeah, Alex?”

“Can…can I see her? Before you go?”

“Who?
Eila? She is already packing and-”

“No…Lenore…my daughter.”

He shook his head. “I told you, we call her Madison now. And I don’t think it’s a good idea. The doctors don’t either. For you or our girl.”

“MY girl!”
I snapped without meaning to. She was theirs now, in truth. “I’m sorry Jason, I didn’t mean to. Look…you don’t even have to tell her who I am, please just let me see her. Before she is gone.”

“Maybe when you are better.
The doctors still say you need more time.”

“Do you think I’m crazy, Jason? You know I’m not, don’t you? You remember Salem…you remember what he and I were.”

“I remember what you were.”

“Then tell them! Tell them that I am not crazy!”

“That’s not what I meant. Look Alex, I have to go help. I should have been back already. I’ll call you when I can. I promise.”

I knew that wasn’t a promise he would keep. Just like Paul and Kim had gone on to basically forget about my grandfather, Jason and Eila would eventually put me in the past.

I dreamt again last night. My children were older in this one, maybe ten each. I could see Lenore running in an endless field far away. Her musical giggles turned to screams as a sea of wild flowers began to wilt. The sky darkened and in the distance I could see another child, a boy. He was running too. He was chasing Lenore. She screamed in terror as she looked over her shoulders, running from an inevitable fate. The grin on the boy’s face was both beautiful and hellish-a smile framed in fangs. He caught her from behind and bit deep into her throat.

I awoke screaming, drenched in sweat and tears. My heart raced and blood hummed through my veins.

“Just a dream Alex, just a dream.
It isn’t real. None of it is real.”

“Oh, it’s real.” A familiar and completely unexpected voice came from inside my room. My eyes flew to the door but it was still locked from the outside.

“Here,” it said again, and a figure I had not seen in two years stepped from the shadows.

“Hannah…”

“Expecting someone else?”

As it registered completely who I was looking at, my mind began to cloud with anger. I leapt off the bed and ran at her, swinging at her with everything I had. It was no use however, her strength was far beyond mine and she easily caught and held both of my wrists.

“What the hell are you doing here?! You left him there! We could have saved him! You made me leave him!”

“He was dead Alex!”

“Not yet! We could have-” she released my arms and slapped me, the force sending me to the floor crying.

“He was gone, Alex. I didn’t want it any more than you did. If you had listened to me about the baby before you ran off and got pregnant none of it would have happened. It’s your fault he’s gone. It’s your fault for everything!”

“Then why didn’t you leave me there with him to die!? Why save me?”

“I didn’t know you’d end up in some loony bin at the time. Look, I thought you should know…in case you ever make it out of here…”

“What?”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“What? Who?”

“The boy.
The one in the dreams you’ve been having.” She knew about the dreams. Had she been causing these endless nightmares about the twins over the last two years just like she had caused about Salem so long ago?

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t even want to come here; Ezra’s the one that said you ought to know. He says you are the mother after all. Took him almost a year to convince me. Finally found someone more hard-headed than me I guess. He’s the only reason I’m here.”

“Take me with you.”

“No. I hope you rot here after what you’ve done. You were the worst thing that ever happened to my brother.” And with that she was out the window and gone.

Her words had hurt worse than any slap could. And she was right. I had given Salem nothing but a hard life ever since we had met. He had gotten few moments of peace since we were together. I know all he wanted was to be with me, but he would have still been alive had we never met.

With the heartbreak of betraying Salem, I fell asleep in the corner of my room sobbing.

I awoke this morning in my bed. I was certain I had fallen asleep on the floor after Hannah left. Maybe her visit had been just another nightmare. They had been getting worse and worse and after the last visit with Jason I was questioning the validity of my sanity even more. Maybe my story was just a fantasy to justify Salem’s death—to fill some sort of mental hole. And if so, what had really happened in my life? If what I had written was not real, then what happened after I met the handsome boy with the English accent?

The thoughts were lost as I opened my eyes to the sound of what had woken me. I counted four of them in my room. I didn’t know what it was all about, generally I was visited by only one nurse in the morning that opened my door and gave me a small paper cup with medicine in it. I strained to peer around them and make out their muffled words but had no luck.

“How did you do this?” A large dark-skinned man said when he turned and noticed I was awake.

“I…I don’t know what you are talking about.”

He moved aside and pointed at the window which hung wide open. “That. These things are bolted and locked. You bent the damn thing open.”

“No…I was asleep, I swear.”

“Well, no one flew up here and opened it.”

My head raced; maybe it hadn’t been a dream after all. My eyes flew down to my wrists and I saw large, fresh bruises encircling them. I pulled a hand to my cheek-it was sore.

Hannah had been here. Hannah was real. The monsters from my past were real. He was real. I clenched my eyes shut and all I could see was a boy.

A beautiful boy with eyes the color of blood.

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