New Beginnings (124 page)

“I wouldn’t be where I am if you hadn’t encouraged me in the beginning, so anything I can do to help you get this off the ground, I will. My staff is at your disposal.” I knew I had most of the professionals she would need to get this up and running, and I would instruct them to make her a priority.

“That’s very generous, but I couldn’t ask you to do that. You keep them so busy as it is with your stuff.”

Ignoring her objection, I asked, “You think you’d want to do this from home for now?”

“Um yeah, I guess so. It would make more sense, right? Then I wouldn’t have to worry about the overhead.”

“If you need a business loan, I’d be happy to—”

She touched my cheek, smiling. “I love you for offering, but no thanks. If I’m going to do this, I have to learn how to make it work on my own.”

“Okay.” I leaned my head back, tipping my face toward hers. “For the record, I think it’ll be a huge success.”

“Thanks.” Her face lit up. “I have to admit, I’m really excited just thinking about it. I know it’ll be hard and scary, but it could be just the thing I’ve been looking for. I was worried about the real estate thing because I knew it would involve nights and weekends. Even having a full-time job would mean I couldn’t be there for them as much and I know it may seem silly, but I feel like they still need me.”

“That’s not silly. They do still need you, Mac. They always will. You’re their mom.”
But they don’t need you half as much as I do.

“This seems like the perfect solution,” she admitted. “I could work from home, set my own hours, grow the business slowly, and do something I love. What could be better, right?”

“Right.” I stole a quick kiss, making her smile.

“There’s only one thing that concerns me.”

“What’s that?”

“I’ve worked so hard to take all this weight off. If I’m taste-testing the product, I’m worried I’ll put it all back on again.”

I could tell she was seriously concerned, so I tried not to smile. “Baby, don’t you know how gorgeous you are?”

Refusing to meet my gaze, she set her mug down on the table. “You didn’t think so when I was twenty-eight pounds heavier.”

“Bullshit.” I leaned forward, grasping her chin between my thumb and forefinger. “I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the privilege of being with, bar none. If we drifted apart, it had nothing to do with your weight. It’s because I was an idiot who—”

She grabbed my face between her hands, kissing me fiercely. “Thank you for saying that and making me believe it.”

“I love you, Mac,” I said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Always have, always will.”

“Will you stay tonight?” she whispered.

God yes.
“What about the boys?”

“If you’re worried, you can always sneak out of here before they wake up. I just need to be with you tonight, Ryker. Please say you’ll stay.”

“Of course I’ll stay.”

Mackenzie

Making love to Ryker had always been the food that fueled my soul. I’d never felt more connected to another human being in my life than I did to him when we made love.

Unlike the previous night, which had been fast and furious and desperate, this time was slow and intense, as though he was intent on making up for our fight last night. I didn’t know if it was in deference to the fact our son Zane’s room was above ours, but his husky voice was low, his words intimate, his movements slow and controlled, driving me to the edge and over before he captured my cries in a heated kiss.

Our eyes linked, the intensity burning in his making my stomach quiver.

“This is where I belong,” he whispered. “Right here. In
our
bed. Buried so deep inside you, you forget what it felt like to sleep alone all those months.”

It would be so easy to forget what had led to the demise of our marriage, but for the sake of our children, I had to be one hundred percent certain we weren’t the same people who’d let our marriage fall apart the first time.

“This is home to me,” he whispered, punctuating the point with the slow thrust of his hips as he kissed my neck. “This house. This bed. Your sweet body. It’s the only place I’ve ever wanted to be, baby. You’re the only woman I’ve ever needed.”

I believed him. I knew he needed me just as much as I needed him. Life without Ryker had gone on, but there’d been a huge hollow in my heart where his love used to live. Now, having him here, my heart was intact again. And I wanted it to remain that way. Forever.

“God, baby,” he whispered, his body tensing above mine when I clenched him tight, sparking his release. His muscular body trembled as his release moved through him into me. “Mac, Jesus...”

I brushed my hand over his damp forehead, smiling at his spent condition as I kissed the stubble peppering his jaw. “I love you.”

Those three little words triggered another tremor before his strong arms closed around me. “I love you too, baby. More than anything.”

Our heavy breathing subsided before he coaxed me to roll onto my side, fitting his body in behind mine as his arms circled me. He pulled the covers up to cover us, obviously intent on settling in for the night.

“Should we set the alarm?” I asked, finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. “To wake up before the boys do? Maybe they’ll think you slept on the couch?”

“Do you want them to think that?”

I could feel his heart pounding against my back, and I knew my response was more important to him than he was letting on. He wanted to tell our kids that we were back together. For good. That the worst times were behind us and the best times were ahead. I wanted that too, but it hadn’t even been a week since we’d started seeing each other again. No one made important life decisions in that amount of time, especially when there were other people’s feelings involved.

“I want this,” I said, curling into his warmth. “I want my husband back, but let’s just take this one day at a time, Ryker. The boys know we’re spending time together. Maybe by the time we go to the cottage, we’ll be ready to share a bedroom and let them know we’re back together. Officially. Does that sound reasonable?” I held my breath, waiting for his response, praying this wouldn’t lead to another argument like last night.

He reached over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. “Six thirty, okay? They won’t be up before then, will they?”

I laughed, relieved he was willing to play along for now. “You’re kidding, right? We’ll have to haul their butts out of bed at seven thirty if they’re going to go to the shop with you.”

“Oh, you heard that, huh? You think it’s a good idea?”

“Definitely. They need something to keep them busy this summer. They’ve been spending a lot of time across the street, especially Zane. I don’t want him to wear out his welcome.”

He cleared his throat before settling in next to me again. “Has, he, uh, been over there lately? Like tonight?”

“Not that I know of. Why?” I turned around to look at him, but his back was to me as he turned off the lamp on his nightstand. “Has he said anything to you about Brittany? She’s a nice girl, but he’s way too young to be dating anyone seriously, don’t you think?”

“Um yeah, I do.”

“As far as I know, they’ve gone out with a group of friends before, but never just the two of them. Maybe you should talk to him about her, figure out where his head’s at, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe I should.” He kissed my cheek. “’Night, baby. Love you.”

I sensed a shift in his mood. After so many years together, it was easy to read his mind. “Is something wrong?” I asked, reaching around to touch his shoulder.

“No. Why?”

“You just seem kind of distant all of a sudden.”

He chuckled. “Sweetheart, if I were any closer, I’d be inside you again. Not that I have a problem with that if you’re up for it?”

I knew he was trying to distract me, and I wanted to know why. If we were going to rebuild our relationship from a place of honesty, trust, and open communication, I needed to believe he could feel comfortable telling me when there was something on his mind, even if he feared I wouldn’t like it.

“Are you upset I don’t want the boys to know we’re…?” I gestured toward our covered bodies. “You know, back together like this.”

He laughed, a deep, rich sound that made my toes curl. “Honey, trust me, no teenager wants to think about his parents having sex. So no, it doesn’t bother me that you don’t want to tell them that.”

My cheeks burned when I thought about having
that
conversation with my kids. I didn’t even want them to see me in a short skirt, never mind think about me, about us… Ugh.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it,” I said, slapping his forearm.

“I know.” He kissed my shoulder. “I’m just teasing you. Can we go to sleep now? I’m wiped out. It’s been a long day.”

“I guess so.” I was exhausted too. But before I drifted off, I had to let him know what I was thinking. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Not half as glad as I am to be here, Mac.”

***

The boys didn’t seem surprised to find their dad sitting at the breakfast bar the next morning, enjoying toast and a ham-and-cheese omelet with his cup of coffee.

“Hey,” Zane said, slapping Ryker on the back before claiming the stool beside him. “What do you think you’re going to have us doing today?”

“I thought I’d let your uncle Nex do a walk-through with you, get a feel for the production end of things, but it might be best for you to work in the retail part this summer. Unless you think you’d rather work in shipping?”

Ryker had turned his brand into a household name, selling everything from jackets to T-shirts and leather jackets with their logo in a retail store adjacent to their facility. “The store might be a good fit for you guys,” I said to them before plating their breakfast and passing it to them. “That way you wouldn’t be cooped up in a dark and dingy factory all day.”

Ryker’s lips twitched before his eyes met mine. “Dark and dingy factory? That building is only seven years old, if you recall. It’s bright and spacious and the walls are painted white, not black.”

I knew he was just teasing me, but I still felt guilty for taking a shot at his pride and joy. “You know what I mean,” I said, curling my hands around my mug before turning the gas stove off and loading the used dishes into the dishwasher. “The retail store is probably a little more fun with people coming in and out all day.”

“I wouldn’t mind working in the store,” Cole said, taking a huge bite out of his omelet. “Especially if we get to wear the clothes.”

Ryker had worked with a talented artist to design a line of tattoo-inspired clothing that was selling faster than they could supply the demand.

“Anything you want from the store, you just have to ask,” Ryker said, glancing from Cole to Zane. “You guys know that, right?”

We’d raised our kids not to expect things just because we had the financial means to provide them. They had the
toys
most of their friends had—laptops, iPads, and iPhones—but they didn’t ask for anything beyond the basic essentials.

“It’d be cool to get some stuff from the store,” Zane said, shrugging. “Joey went in there with his dad last week and got this really cool jacket.” He cleared his throat. “He said it was like fifteen hundred bucks though. His old man bought it for his birthday.”

Ryker and I shared a look. I knew he was silently asking me whether he should give them carte blanche to choose whatever they wanted from the store or put a cap on it.

“Well,” I said to them, “since you’re going to be working there, it would probably be a good idea for you to at least have some T-shirts, you know, to represent the brand. Right, Ryker?”

“Yeah, definitely,” he said, nodding.

“Those boots,” Zane said, gesturing to the custom leather boots Ryker wore. “Do you sell those at the store?”

“Uh, no,” Ryker said, grinning. “I had those made. I do have something similar though.”

“A knock-off, huh?” Zane asked, grinning.

“Something like that,” Ryker said, polishing off his coffee.

I refilled his mug while suggesting, “Maybe you should just get some hats and T-shirts for now. I’m sure you’ll get an employee discount working there this summer. If you want larger-ticket items, like leather jackets and boots, you can always put them on layaway and pay a bit down each time you get a paycheck. That way you’ll have them by the time school goes back in.”

Ryker frowned, and I could tell he wasn’t thrilled with the prospect of asking his sons to pay for his products, but the whole point of this summer job was to teach them about responsibility, and I knew for a fact no one had ever handed Ryker or his brothers anything when they were that age. They had to work for everything they got, and I wanted our sons to grow up with a strong work ethic as well.

“If you guys are finished,” Ryker said, gesturing to their near-empty plates, “you can go upstairs and finish getting ready. I need to stop by my place to grab a quick shower and change my clothes before we head in.”

Zane and Cole shared a smile, obviously speculating about the reason Ryker had spent the night at our house instead of going home. But instead of asking, Zane said, “Sure, Dad. We’ll be right back.”

Ryker waited until they were upstairs before he said, “Mac, they don’t need to pay for that stuff. They can take whatever they want from the store.”

“You really think that’s a good idea?” I asked, refilling my cup. “I know you want them to have all the things you never had growing up, but we can’t give them everything they want without asking them to work for anything. It doesn’t send the right message.”

He ran a hand over his mouth before sitting back and crossing his arms. “I hear what you’re saying, I do. But it doesn’t feel right, taking their money for clothes. I’m their dad. I’m supposed to provide stuff like that. Especially since it is my shop.”

I walked around the counter, taking his handsome face in my hands. “I know how you feel, babe. And I understand why you feel the way you do, given your upbringing.”