New Kid Catastrophes: 1 (TJ and the Time Stumblers) (19 page)

“Oh no,” TJ groaned, “what do we have now, a giant dog?”

But it wasn’t a dog. It was Naomi Simpletwirp!

She stood next to the

WHICH DESIGNER JEWELRY MAKES POODLES THE HAPPIEST?

exhibit. She held the news reporter’s microphone and had shoved it right next to the speaker with the recording of the barking poodle. Moments before, she had used all her geeky AV skills to wire the sound into the school’s intercom system. And now, every room and every hallway in the school was filled with its barking.

The mechanical kitten froze in fear. She looked this way and that. But the barking came from every direction. Filled with terror, she turned and bolted for the nearest door, which was about three sizes too

small.

Poor Killer the kitty went to pieces . . . literally. Broken gears and steel girders flew in all directions. Wherever you looked, pieces of the robot were raining down. Soon the gym was covered in junk. (Almost as bad as little Dorie’s room. Well, not quite, but you get the picture.)

All of this as Doug

the last of the Wendells with the reflected beam . . . and Herby was finally able to morph Chad back into

a 1976 Ford pickup. Er,

a giant wad of used chewing gum. No,

a very confused (but still great-looking) neighbor, who had the faint aroma of dairy products.

Unbelievable. But at last, it had come to an end. Everything began to settle down and return to normal. Well, everything except Hesper Breakahart . . .

“I hate this science fair, I hate this school, everyone’s such a loser, wait a minute, is that me, how can people hear what I’m thinking, no way, they’re too stupid to know what I really think about their pathetic little lives—”

That’s right. The Acme Thought Broadcaster Beam was stuck, and all of Hesper’s thoughts were being broadcast through the school.

“And now I’m going to have to talk all nicey nicey to that ignorant Mr. Beaker to make sure he gives me an A, talk about a lamebrain, can you believe he actually likes Coach Steroidson, I mean if she was any uglier they’d have to buy her a dog license—”

“Tuna!” TJ hissed. “Herby! Fix it!”

“We’re trying!” Herby said as he began

the pen on the floor.

Meanwhile, Doug and Chad stared at each other, completely confused.

“What just happened?” Chad asked.

“I’m . . . not certain,” Doug said, pushing up his glasses.

They both turned to TJ, who tried to smile. Then they looked over to Naomi, who stood by the speaker still holding the microphone.

“I’m sorry about your science project,” Naomi called over to Doug. “But I had to do something to stop it.”

“No,” Doug sniffed, “you were . . . That was great.”

She gave an embarrassed shrug. “Just your average AV stuff.”

“No, that was . . .” Doug approached her. He was definitely impressed. “That was incredible. I had no idea you could do those types of things.”

Naomi’s face reddened and she looked down, giving another shrug.

“You want to show me how you did it?” he asked. “I mean, that was really (
sniff
) cool. Really, really cool.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “Yeah?”

He smiled back. “Yeah.”

TJ watched them and also had to smile. Talk about the perfect couple.

“Hey, you okay?”

She turned to see Chad walking up to her.

“Yeah,” she sort of croaked. “How ’bout you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. It was like I fell asleep and had another one of those strange dreams.”

Meanwhile, Hesper’s thoughts continued to echo through the school:
“Chad, you stupid boy toy, why are you talking to that ugly new girl, you know I own you, I can have any boy I want in this lame-o school ’cause they’re all so stupid, so get over here and start waiting on me hand and foot—”

TJ threw a look to Chad, who appeared anything but happy.

But Hesper was already cranking up her smile to the news reporter who’d been cowering in the corner.
“And you ignorant newspeople, if you had any idea what I really think of you and how I manipulate you to get whatever I want just because I’m incredibly beautiful and popular and—”

Chad shook his head. “Weird. Very, very weird.”

TJ nodded. “Yeah.”

They spotted Doug and Naomi starting to pick up broken pieces of the mechanical kitten.

“You guys need a hand?” Chad called.

But the couple was so busy talking and gawking at each other, they didn’t hear.

Chad gave a chuckle. So did TJ. And then, together, without a word, they started to help.

All of this as TJ’s invisible pals continued another in-depth discussion:

“You’ve really zworked this up, dude. Now we’re in total quod-quod.”

“It is certainly not my fault our tools keep shorting out.”

“It is too.”

“It is not.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“I know you are but what am I.”

“That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Does too.”

“Does not.”

TJ let out a quiet sigh. It was true. Things
were
weird. But even as weird as this weirdness was, she suspected the weirdness of her future weirdness would be even weirder.

TRANSLATION
:
It was only the beginning.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Wrapping Up

Lunch that day was a little different.

Of course TJ had the same old sack lunch (without the hockey pucks). And of course Naomi had saved her a table. But this time Doug ate with them. Well, not really with
them
, more like with Naomi.

It was cute to see the way they talked and giggled with each other, and it made TJ glad. Though she still could have done without Doug’s

and Naomi’s continual

Still, the two had proven themselves good friends. Not because they were anything great on the outside. But because they were something great inside.