New Leaves, No Strings (15 page)

This was new territory, I really
liked the guy and that scared me. What if I developed real feelings for him? What
if I gave into them and he went and left me? I’d just be opening myself up to a
world of hurt again. I’d already crossed so many lines tonight, lines I thought
I’d never cross. My head began to hurt thinking about it, so I squeezed my eyes
shut and let pleasant exhaustion take over and I drifted off.

My dreams had been filled with hot, wild and
passionate sex and as the sunlight reached through the window and scratched at my
eyes, I gently stretched out and moaned as I felt the effect of last night on
my muscles. God last night, it all came flooding back. I rolled over to find an
empty place next to me in bed and sat up pulling the duvet around me.

‘Gabe?’ I called. No answer. I
figured he must be in the shower, but when I put my head around the door, he wasn’t.
I pulled on a cropped t-shirt and some knickers and did a tour of the
apartment, but he was nowhere to be seen and there no note left for me anywhere.

I climbed back into bed confused.
Had he been lying last night? I’d really believed him. He could’ve just left
after we’d had sex, but he’d stayed. I couldn’t believe he’d just walked out
like that. I checked my phone, it was 8.15 a.m. There was only one message and
it was from Lexi from last night.

Ow RU? OK? @ Andrews
now. Not too far if u need me. Back round 10 if ok?

I felt some tears stinging my eyes.
Why was I getting upset? It was only ever supposed to have been sex, get it
over and done with and lose my virginity, or just to find someone to fuck now
and again. Why should I be so bothered that he’d gone? I realised with a heavy
heart that I was bothered because it was because it was good, it had felt so
good. Not just the kissing or the sex, but him caring so much. I wasn’t used to
being taken care of, other than by Lex or my Mum. God I was such a muppet to
think I could’ve done this, to have sex with someone I was so physically attracted
to and to not get hurt. I wondered how many of his other conquests had sat here
like this the next morning, feeling humiliated and empty. I wiped my eyes and replied
to Lexi’s text.

Lex, I was doing great.
I thought it was great, but I’ve woken up to find he’s gone, no message or
anything. I’m upset and I’m not sure why. I feel so bloody stupid :-(

She replied immediately.
Coming
bak rite now. Do nutin. W8 4 me

I threw myself back onto the bed
and flung my arm over my face. Was that really it? To have what I thought was
amazing sex and just walk away? Maybe it wasn’t amazing, maybe I was really bad
at it and he’d just lied to spare my feelings. He must be one of those guys
that said and did what girls wanted so he could fuck them. He obviously just
slept around, did one nights stands like Lexi did. He’d got what he wanted and left,
which was supposed to have been what I was looking for. I mean I didn’t want to
get serious, but I’d thought we’d see each other more than once.

But if that was all he was after,
why had he stayed the night? Why the speech about it being different if he’d
known? Being so cross with me for deceiving him? Being so sweet what with the
bleeding, running the bath and not taking advantage of me again in the night. No
wonder Lexi stuck with one night stands with guys she hardly knew, this was a nightmare.

I rolled over and could smell his
delicious scent on the pillow. I sat up and punched it again and again, until
my arms hurt, then threw myself back down again and banged my arms and legs on
the bed in frustration, like a toddler. I bolted upright confused when I heard
a key turn in the front door. Surely Lexi couldn’t have made it back so quickly?

‘Lex is that you?’ I called.

‘It’s me Gabe, I’m sorry I didn’t mean
to frighten you. I hope you don’t mind but your milk was off. I saw your keys
on the hall table and borrowed them. I figured you may need a coffee and
something to eat.’ He appeared through the bedroom door smiling with a Starbucks
tray, balancing two take out cups and a bag. So he hadn’t sneaked off, god I
was so mistrustful of men. How could I have doubted his sincerity of last night?
‘Sorry Mia, I should have left a note or sent you a text, you must’ve wondered
where I’d gone.’

‘I didn’t know we had a Starbucks
near here?’ I said. He didn’t need to know I’d just punched the pillow
imagining it was his head.

‘Right around the corner, didn’t
you check out the area before you moved here?’

‘No, I fell in love with the
apartment online and snaffled it up without a viewing.’ I didn’t like to let on
to anyone that I owned it.

‘Interesting, you
can
make
rash impulsive decisions then. Just not when it comes to me,’ he joked with
another smile.

‘I think I was fairly rash and
impulsive last night,’ I replied as I blinked up at him, suddenly aware that I
was sitting on the bed in a tiny pair of knickers and a cropped t-shirt with no
bra on. I hugged my knees to my chest to try and cover up a bit.

‘Yes you were impulsive and look
where that got us. You in tears and me feeling like shit. Well you were lucky with
this rental, it’s a nice area. You could’ve ended up in a rough part of town.’

‘Concerned now?’

‘Of course,’ he said as he smiled
at me again and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached up and swept my hair
over my shoulder making me smile at him shyly. ‘You look amazing, did you sleep
well?’

‘Yes really good thanks, I was
tired. You?’

‘Not bad,’ he said sounding
surprised. ‘You talk in your sleep, did you know that?’

‘Really? Sorry thought I was over
that, it was always an issue when I was over tired as a kid. Did I say anything
interesting?’ I asked, feeling embarrassed, remembering what I had been
dreaming about.

‘You sounded like you were enjoying
yourself. Thinking of anyone in particular?’ he grinned. I felt myself going
pink, how could I be embarrassed? He’d seen me naked in some fairly
compromising positions, dreaming of him was hardly in the same league.

‘You may have made a cameo. What
coffee do you have it smells good?’ I asked changing the subject.

‘I figured a latte was pretty
standard for women, or you can have the black one if you prefer?’

‘Latte sounds good thank you.
Vanilla?’

‘No, but I’ll remember that for next
time.’

‘We’re still having a next time?’ I
asked bravely as he handed over the cup to me. As our fingers brushed I felt a
shock of electricity run up my hand, he smiled at me again, had he felt it too?
He was all smiles this morning, I decided to take it as a good sign, after all
he’d come back.

‘Well yes … I assumed … I mean … I really
want to … if you do? Do you want to have a next time?’ he stuttered. He seemed so
nervous, which was quite endearing given he’d been all super confident and in
control up until now.

‘I’d really like that,’ I said
going scarlet and looking away as I sipped my coffee thankful for the
distraction.

‘Great then it’s settled, we’re
definitely doing that again.’

I looked at him again quickly to
see he was beaming. It still shocked me every time I looked at him, to see how good
looking he was. What was he doing with me? Looking like that he could have his
pick of … anyone.

‘O god your lip. Was that where I
bit you?’ I exclaimed.

‘You should see the scratch marks
on my back, I’ll have fun trying to explain those next time I go swimming,’ he
grinned.

‘Sorry, heat of the moment. I hope
I didn’t hurt you too much.’

‘I loved it, but if you’re so
worried about my lip and back, maybe now you can understand how I felt about
hurting you last night. So, I got you an oat bran muffin and some granola with
yogurt and honey. I figured after your diabolical dinner last night, you needed
something a bit healthier and may need a boost of energy.’

‘So concerned. First it’s my
vagina, then my neighbourhood, now my eating habits. Hardly along the lines of
no strings sex Gabe,’ I teased.

‘So you’re saying I can’t look out
for you while we’re doing this?’

‘As long as you don’t have lots of
expectations and you don’t get all huffy on me again.’

‘Huffy? I ... Are you taking the
piss out of me? Whatever. You’re maddening,’ he said with a shake of his head.

‘I know. Seriously though, thanks,’
I said as I took the muffin out of bag.

‘For what? The vagina care, concerns
about your neighbourhood or your eating habits?’

‘All of them I guess and for the
coffee and breakfast, that was really sweet of you.’ I smiled at him as I bit
into the muffin. He was right, after no dinner, a belly full of alcohol and a serious
workout, I was ravenous.

‘So, how are you feeling this
morning? I’ve been worrying. I really was fucking you quite hard. I wish you’d
have told me,’ he said frowning.

‘I’m fine now, honestly don’t worry
about it.’

‘I don’t understand why … why you …’

‘Why I was still a virgin? Or why I
didn’t tell you?’

‘Both,’ he said as he reached over
and brushed a crumb off my lip.

‘It’s complicated,’ I said as I
took a sip of my latte, feeling weird that he was touching me again
and
that I liked it.

‘I thought you didn’t do
complicated.’

‘Are you in Mensa or something? You
seem to have instant recall of every conversation we’ve ever had,’ I teased.

‘I remember things that matter to
me. So why complicated? You’ve had boyfriends before?’

‘Yes, quite a few.’

‘But you never slept with them?’

‘I slept with some of them, I just
never actually
slept
with them.’

‘I don’t get it,’ he said looking
at me puzzled.

‘As in we slept, snoozed, no sex.’

‘No I get that, hence the being a
virgin part and being all emotional your first time. Just not how someone could
be that close to you and maintain that level of control. I couldn’t have done
it.’

‘You did last night.’

‘Believe me it wasn’t easy, I had
to get up and go and pace the bathroom a few times. I don’t think I could do it
night after night.’

‘The pacing?’

‘The restraint.’

‘Well they kept trying, but I just
wasn’t ready.’

‘So why me? Why now?’ he said
perplexed.

‘I think you know why,’ I replied
blushing, again.

‘Tell me.’ He looked at me amused
as he sipped his steaming coffee.

‘We’ve discussed this already, you’re
seriously hot and I’m very attracted to you and it just felt like the right
time,’ I said with a shrug.

‘Lucky me then,’ he smiled.

‘So did it really go ok for you? The
sex I mean. I know what you said last night, but with me being all emotional … you
may have been trying to make me feel better. Please be honest with me. I want
to be good at it.’

‘I was being honest with you last
night, I don’t lie Mia. That’s something you need to know about me right now, I’ll
never lie to you and it makes me mad when people doubt me. Virgin or not, I
can’t believe that you couldn’t tell I was really enjoying myself.’

‘Well there’s different levels of
enjoyment aren’t there?’ I said as I drained my coffee and put the empty cup
down. ‘It could’ve been ok, so so, really nice, awesome, really amazing, or a
million other combinations on varying scales and I’ve got nothing to compare it
against do I? You though … with your many girls … well I’ve got a lot to live
up to. I thought I may not have been good enough for you.’

He put his coffee down on the
bedside table and quickly mounted the bed straddling my lap and sitting back on
my thighs. He was inches from my face as he looked into my eyes and I felt my
breathing quicken again to have him so close.

‘Believe me Mia, you’re enough. You’ve
absolutely nothing to worry about and out of the million combinations, on
varying scales, my enjoyment levels were really amazingly awesome, best I’ve
ever experienced with any woman, or even my own hand. Satisfied?’ he said with
a huge grin.

‘With your answer yes thanks. Sexually
this morning? Sadly not.’

He cupped the back of my head,
making my skin tingle, leaned forwards and started to kiss me and I thrust my
hands up into his hair, my stomach doing somersaults. As our kissing became
more vigorous, we fell back onto the bed and I gave in for a while and just
enjoyed feeling him surrounding me. Eventually I slid my leg between his and
twisted, flipping him onto his back so I was lying on top of him.

‘Ooooo not just porn then Mia. You’re
into wrestling too are you?’ he smiled, looking up at me surprised.

‘What is it with you men and this
fixation with women wrestling? I suppose you’d like a bikini and lots of baby
oil or mud to be involved too?’

‘That sounds
very
good to me,’
he grinned kissing me again. ‘So what now?’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked as I
sat back on his thighs, very aware of his erection nestled there below me.

‘You wanted to be in control, you
said you didn’t want to be suffocated. So am I allowed to call you to make
plans, or am I just here at your beck and call?’ he asked looking faintly
amused.

‘Booty call boy? I like that. I can
call you anytime I choose and you come running to service me? That sounds
very
good to me,’ I teased as I smiled down at him and played with the buttons
on his shirt.