New Title 1 (13 page)

“
I’m going to take a shower,” he informed her evenly.

“
You want some company?” Jordin asked studying her sexy man, even though something in her already knew she was undesired. He hadn’t even complimented her, or the setup.

“
Nah,” was his cold response.

Jordin swallowed hard and then retied her robe. She nodded her head and pressed her lips together deep in thought. And as he began to head to the bathroom, Jordin spoke.

“
What happened to us?” She sounded wounded as honesty poured from her lips.

He paused briefly at the door but didn’t turn around.

“
What you talking about, J?” He asked her this, but really he knew, and it broke his heart.

Jordin stood up and spoke slowly, figuring she had nothing to lose.

“
I’m talking about…how you barely make love to me anymore Slim. And how when you do… it’s like you’re not even here. And it’s like you don’t even want to.”

Slim kept his back turned and closed his eyes in guilt. He could hear the pain in her voice.

Jordin had tears in her eyes, wondering where they had gone wrong. Their intimacy level was at an all time low. And even though she told Noelle stories of their fiery love life, they were all lies. They hardly had sex, and the odd times that they did, it was all emotionless fucking. Slim didn’t even want to look at her while it went down. He usually fucked her from behind and there was never any kissing, no foreplay, no pleasure. Jordin was hurting.

“
You buggin’ J, for real.”

Jordin chuckled.

“
Oh yea? Then why don’t you look at me?”

There was a silence and he still hadn’t moved.

“
You hear me, Slim?” Her voice cracked. “Turn around and look at me.”

He sighed hard and turned around gradually, looking her in the eyes.

“
J, you buggin’,” he repeated in desperation. “I love you.”

Jordin nodded and looked down solemnly.

“
I know you do Slim…. but do you want me? Because they are two different things.” Slim was not ready for this conversation. He figured the best thing to do was deny, deny, deny. Make her feel like she was crazy until she actually started to believe that she was. When he didn’t answer, she asked the inevitable.

“
Is it the…the weight gain?”

Jordin had gained weight while Slim was locked down, and although she wasn’t able to lose it all, she had toned it up and now wore her thickness well. But she knew she was no size six like she used to be and although she didn’t look too different to herself, she wondered if she was different to him. Slim shook his head.

“
Noe…I mean…No.” He realized he was about to say the wrong name and saved himself. “No…it’s not that. But
Jordin
, like I said before, if you don’t feel confident or happy wit’ yaself, then maybe you should hit the gym a little more. Or, I don’t know, diet a little bit, ma. But stop putting me through this bullshit because you insecure.”

That was a low blow.

“
Insecure? Please Slim!” Jordin could feel herself becoming upset because his comments hurt so much. “I am not insecure. But you certainly could have drove me to be if I wasn’t so strong,” she sassed. Slim sucked his teeth, being a man and truly not understanding.

“
Well that’s how you acting! You acting like we gotta fuck every day, or it’s something wrong with us. How the fuck did you go years J, if you acting like you can’t even go days without some dick?” He barked at her.

“
Not days,” Jordin spat.

“
Whatever, weeks,” he corrected.

“
Months,” she countered, stunning him to silence. “And trust me, I went years because I knew I
had
to Slim. But you’re right here now, and I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to be celibate again!”

She stepped up close to him; their argument was quickly becoming rather heated. Slim snapped.

“
Well shit the way you acting, I’m wondering if you ever was. For all I know, you was out there beastin’ to get fucked like you doing now!” He knew he was wrong; he was turning it around on her. But his heart was racing, his veins were throbbing, and he was feeling trapped. Jordin slit her eyes at him and shook her head, her cry now coming on.

“
You piece of shit mothafucka. I held your punk ass down for five years! Five fucking years, and you coming at me on this bullshit!” She now had tears streaming down her face. “Fuck you, Slim!”

Jordin stormed past him and into the hallway, toward the steps. Slim was in shock because she hardly ever spoke to him like that, so he knew she was truly upset.

Jordin cried hard as she began to make her way downstairs. She was feeling like she was losing control and she did not know how to get it back. And as Slim watched her the whole time, he was feeling like the asshole that he really was, but doing nothing about it - nothing, besides grabbing a towel and heading for the shower. He figured,
She’ll get over it.

Halfway down the steps, Jordin broke down harder into a deep, ugly cry as she covered her face with her hands and continued to walk slowly. She couldn’t believe that Slim had the audacity to question her loyalty to him. She was infuriated and crushed simultaneously.

“
Ungrateful, selfish asshole!” She spat as she neared the bottom of the steps.

“
Damn, alright, I’ll put it back.”

Jordin popped her eyes open and saw that Julez was standing in front of her holding the last piece of cheesecake that she had baked. It looked like he was heading for the couch.

She laughed through her tears at his joke and he looked at her warmly, having heard the yelling from upstairs.

“
You wanna talk about it?”

After a long pause, she shrugged and pulled her robe tighter.

“
How many forks you got?”

He grinned and handed her the plate.

“
Let me grab another one.”

“
I just can’t believe that he would question my faithfulness to him. Like, how could he try to turn it around on me?” Jordin shook her head and brought her fork to her lips, allowing the last bite of cheesecake to melt into her mouth and caress her tongue. Its sweetness momentarily brought half of the serenity she was starting to feel. The other half came from her almost too natural ability to open up to Julez about the argument between her and Slim. She told him things that Noelle didn’t even know, she told him the truth.

”
It’s bad enough that he doesn’t want me anymore, and now he thinks I was unfaithful?”

Julez shook his head from side to side.

“
Nah, I don’t think he meant that…and I doubt that he doesn’t want you.” He wrenched his eyes from her red, puffy, and breath taking face. “Us niggas take the crown for saying the dumbest shit ever known, Jordin. I need you to try to understand that.”

She sucked her teeth.

“
Don’t make it right.”

He nodded.

“
No, it doesn’t.”

There was a long pause and then Jordin chuckled.

“
You know, I feel like a dude. Like how a dude always says, I might as well have cheated. I mean, I have never even
thought
about cheating on his stupid ass,” she sassed.

The news shocked Julez, but he tried not to show it.

“
Really?”

She shook her head, sure of her answer.

“
Nope, never.”

Julez stared at her for a long time before responding.

“
Word...? Never?”

Jordin looked up at him and swallowed hard. She had a feeling where this was going; she could hear it in his voice. Her heart rate sped up a bit.

“
No,” she repeated in almost a whisper. Julez found himself reaching over and gently grabbing her chin with his forefinger and thumb, forcing her to look him in the eyes. He smirked lightly and Jordin knew exactly what he was thinking.

“
Never?” He asked one more time, but Jordin couldn’t answer. She allowed her mind to follow his back in time.

“
J, let me know when the doorbell rings. I told Julez to come and pick me up!” Noelle screamed from inside of Jordin’s bathroom. Noelle was getting ready for a date with her new man from the mall, Julez.

“
Here? He’s coming here?” Jordin screeched, her voice rising high in a pitch from the shock and anxiety as she got up off of her bed, closing her book. “Why Noe!”

Jordin could hear Noelle suck her teeth loudly through the bathroom door.

“
Because bitch…what, you want me to get killed by Freckles if that nigga comes to my house? You think I’m crazy?”

Jordin didn’t respond because that was exactly what she thought Noelle was. Crazy. Crazy for going to Vegas with a man that she had just met. A man that she wouldn’t have even known if Jordin hadn’t of hipped her to who Julez was.
What was I thinking?

Just then, the ringing of her doorbell broke her thoughts. Jordin let out a loud sigh as she walked out of her bedroom and double stepped down her carpeted staircase toward the front door. At this time she was still sitting pretty in a nice, two bedroom house that Slim had her set up in before he had gotten locked up. It would be a while before she would lose this house that she loved so much.

Jordin looked down at her Victoria’s Secret Pink collection sweatpants and tank top, straightened her ponytail, and took a deep breath before cracking the door open. Julez was standing there looking so fly, so fresh, and so sexy. His car, his clothes, that smile, those waves, his swag, Jordin had to look away.

“
Hello. I’ll go and get Noelle,” she stated quickly about to turn around and head back up the stairs.

Julez furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the pretty girl who stood before him. And then it hit him. He pointed his finger at her and spoke in his deep baritone stopping her in her tracks.

“
Hold up, I know you from somewhere right? You…you came to my spot before.”

Jordin didn’t answer, she had just swallowed hard. He had remembered.

“
Um…yea. I think…I think it was a fight party or something,” Jordin said nonchalantly, but she remembered thoroughly. It was the Mayweather and Gatti fight, a hot Saturday in June of ’05. Julez nodded slowly, not breaking their eye contact.

“
Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I remember. How you been?” There was a hint of solemn in his voice. But his presence was so dominating; Jordin could barely look at him or get her words together. She looked away.

“
I’m fine…”

“
How’s um…Slim, right? Y'all still together?” Jordin could hear something in his voice when he asked, and she just nodded her answer, wanting to get away. Get him away, and get Noelle down here. She didn’t bother telling him that Slim was locked up, figuring that was too much conversation for them to share.

“
I’ll go get Noelle. You can come inside if you want.”

She turned to head inside, and he followed behind her, taking in her shapely figure in her low key apparel. As Jordin hastily headed for the stairs, almost getting away, Julez couldn’t stop himself from saying…

“
Hey!”

Jordin turned slowly and looked him in his dark brown, tantalizing eyes.

“
Huh?” She asked innocently.

He licked his lips lightly and stared right through her before he spoke.

“
You know I’ve been looking for you right?”

“
Why Slim, the fight is over. Why are we still here?” Jordin had been nagging Slim consistently for the past hour for them to leave the fight party. Granted, the house was huge, and the food was delicious, the liquor flowed, and it was all very extravagant, but the hoochies had broken out, and things had started getting a little loose. Jordin had even noticed that the fine ass host, who was also the owner of the house, had two women walking around with him in their underwear. She could tell by Slim’s facial expression that he was not ready to leave.