New York Christmas (12 page)

“He’s here already, Daniel. He’s been here since you were brought in.” His dad stood. “I’ll go and get him.”

“I’m sorry, Danny,” his mom said. She placed a hand gently on his. “We didn’t know you loved him.”

At that moment a nurse came in the room and began checking vitals. All Daniel wanted was Chris. Was Chris still interested? Would he realize just what could happen to Daniel on any given day, the kind of threats he was occasionally confronted with?

Chris had been consigned to the cold, orange plastic chairs for waiting visitors. He stared at the red and gold tinsel that decorated the information desk. Nothing like that was allowed past the main ICU doors, no sign of Christmas for those patients for fear of infections and lack of cleanliness. He drank crap coffee and kept himself sane by listening to the nurses as they talked. He knew Daniel was awake, knew he was being moved soon, but no one had said it was okay to go back into the room, and he was still sitting here like a kid waiting for Christmas, desperate to see Daniel for himself. An hour of waiting at least and the door opened, Daniel’s dad standing to one side and indicating the open entrance. Chris bolted upright.

“Daniel is asking for you.” There was warmth in the other man’s voice, more than there had been from Daniel’s mom, and Chris stumbled to stand as quickly as he could.

“Thank you, sir.” He moved past, but the older man stopped his entry with a strong grip and then an extended hand. Chris shook hands cautiously.

“Son… call me Edward.”

Everything in the room was so sterile—sheets, pillows, and walls all white, and scrubbed silver apparatus, the clear snaking pipes a nest of fragile lines—but finally Daniel would be practically free of any connections to them. He was doing really well and the nurse was checking vitals. His voice was scratchy as he said something to the nurse as she leaned over him adjusting the covers—the tube in Daniel’s throat clearly had bruised him. She moved and Chris had his first view of Daniel without the paraphernalia that had assisted his breathing and pushed him full of nutrients.

The nurse smiled at him, and even Daniel’s mom, who hovered just to one side, seemed kind of pleased to see him. Cautiously he edged closer. He may well have been waiting for this man to open his eyes, had sat for hours contemplating the twists and turns of his life over the last few weeks. Who was to say though that Daniel felt anything near half of what Chris was feeling right now. Who was to say Daniel hadn’t called him in just to say hi and that was it.

“Hey,” Chris offered softly, his hand moving to touch but then stopping just short of Daniel’s broad chest in his white hospital gown. Emotion thickened his throat and he wanted to say more, but there was nothing there, and immediately he was right back to nerdy Chris who could never string a complete sentence together.

“Chris—” Daniel lifted up his hand, and Chris noticed the cannula in the back of it, and that dread that had lived with him for three days bubbled over in a few words, even as he gripped at the hand Daniel offered.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

Sunday, December 23rd

“With any luck,” the senior nurse said, flipping through the pages in Daniel’s chart, “you’ll be able to go home on Christmas Eve. You’ll be on enforced bed rest but the doctor said to me he’s willing to give you the space to heal at home.”

“I’m assuming that’s what the doctor really has advised?” Daniel’s mom interrupted and looked at Chris suspiciously. Like he had something to do with a great nefarious plan to get her son out of hospital? The nurse looked at her blankly, then back down at the notes. She was probably used to relatives wanting to hear news directly from the doctors or the surgeons. From what Chris had observed through his time sitting in reception though, it was actually the nurses who ran the show.

“Yes, this was what the doctor advised—that it looks very likely” was what she replied, not rising to the concern that even Chris could hear in Daniel’s mom’s voice. He had discovered a lot about Daniel’s mom, Melissa, over the last few days, not least of which was that she hid her fear for her son under that society-neat façade she wore so well.

“Thank you.” Chris diffused the tension, leaning into his boyfriend and knocking shoulders gently. “That’s good news, eh?” He had sat on the edge of Daniel’s bed as soon as he could, careful not to touch any parts of Daniel that would cause him pain.

“We have your old room ready, Daniel,” Melissa said.

Chris’s heart skipped a beat. He’d kind of been hoping that somehow he could be involved in Daniel’s care. What Daniel said next made Chris feel like jelly inside.

“It’s okay, Mom,” he began. “I’m staying with Chris.”

Melissa didn’t miss a step, only continued pulling on her jacket. “It’s your choice, sweetheart.” Kisses were exchanged, promises to visit the next day were made, and then they were finally gone. It was now just Daniel half dozing and Chris bright-eyed and focused on the small patch of skin on his lover’s chest that the hospital gown revealed. He couldn’t help but touch, reassured by the fluttering pulse in Daniel’s neck.

Where was Daniel going to sleep in his tiny room? Would there actually be space for an invalid in his bed at Amelia’s? Would Daniel even want to share? If nothing else, Ame had a sofa bed in her sitting room.

“What are you thinking about?” Daniel asked roughly and coughed. “You look so serious.”

“Are you sure you want to be with me when you get out? I mean, you have friends with big places, and geez, Daniel, don’t your parents have this huge mansion-townhouse-place? And you also have your own place…?”

Daniel frowned up at him, moving his untethered hand to grasp at Chris’s shirt and pull his head closer.

“I like your place. And… I love you,” he whispered. “Where else would I want to be?”

When Chris was a child, Christmas had been the defining moment of his year.

Presents stacked high under a tree and waking so early it was still jet black outside the window. He would meet Andy at the top of the stairs and the brothers would stare through the open banister and discuss in heated whispers what they could see under the tree. When he had discovered Santa wasn’t real it still didn’t stop him from ever anticipating the excitement of such a special day.

Today though, was the best Christmas Day of his entire life. The most perfect awakening he could imagine, especially considering everything that had happened.

Waking in a darkened room, he focused on the soft breathing of the man lying next to him. Daniel hadn’t slept that well as evidenced by the sheets bunched and twisted around him and the dampness of sweat on his warm skin. He hadn’t outright refused pain medication, but he was stubborn as heck over it and Chris had had a fight on his hands to get Daniel to relax.

“Morning.” Daniel’s sleep-rough voice flowed over Chris, and with a smile Chris turned on his side fully.

“You should be sleeping still. Are you in a lot of pain?”

“No one sleeps Christmas morning.” Daniel evaded the pain question. Chris reached over and turned on the bedside light too quickly for Daniel to school his features into anything other than his honest discomfort and exhaustion.

“Idiot,” Chris said as nicely as he could manage. Clambering off of the bed, he winced as bare feet hit the cold floor and then refilled the tumbler of water on the bedside table. He dumped two pills out of the bottle into his hand, and helping Daniel to sit up halfway, he waited until Daniel finally gave in and took the pills.

“They make me sleepy,” Daniel said grumpily.

“You need to sleep.”

“I don’t want to miss our Christmas.” Chris settled Daniel on his side and then spooned him gently from behind. It may well have only been a month since they had reconnected but he was in love and he was determined to have a lifetime with this man in his arms. It didn’t matter if this Christmas passed in a blur of pain relief and sleep.

What Chris said next were words from the heart, from his soul, from the man he was inside to the person he loved.

“There’s always next year.”

* * * *

When Daniel next woke, it was to the soft glow of a bedside lamp in an otherwise dark room. Hell, he was losing so many hours to this mess. Was it Christmas evening?

What had he missed?

“Hey, stranger.” Chris was sitting upright in the bed, his back propped up by pillows. In his hand was a paperback, some Stephen King story by the look of it.

“Hey,” Daniel managed. His throat was scratchy, freaking meds made his mouth dry. He wriggled a bit so he was sitting a little more upright and Chris dropped his book onto the side table and helped him. He then passed him a cup of water. Daniel didn’t think he had ever tasted anything so damn perfect.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“A little after six, Christmas night. It snowed again. Can I get you anything else?”

“Can we maybe go get some air?”

Chris raised his eyebrows in silent question but didn’t actually sound out the words that would probably have been along the lines of
what the fuck?

Together they managed to get Daniel to the bathroom where he brushed his teeth, finally feeling slightly more normal. Semidressed in loose sweats and a baggy sweatshirt, he was then manhandled into the largest coat Chris possessed followed by scarves and hats. They paused for a moment at the top of the stairs.

“Can you get on the roof here?” Daniel asked. Chris nodded and through a door at the end of the small corridor they made their way up the steps and out the two doors to the roof. Daniel leaned heavily on Chris and they managed through sheer will to get to the wall that made its way around the top of this building. The cold was all-pervasive yet therapeutic, and Daniel grabbed Chris’s hand and then tipped his head back to look at the night sky.

The glow of the city made the stars less obvious but the city against the black of the night sky was stunning.

“Beautiful,” Daniel murmured. Chris made a small noise of agreement, and hand in hand they stood there for a short while. The city was never quiet even on Christmas Day but any noise was deadened by softly falling snow that swirled and danced around them. Peace. Daniel had never felt more at peace than he did at this moment and he wasn’t sure whether it was Chris, or the night, or Christmas, but he was so ready to make all of this with Chris permanent.

“When this is all over, will you consider moving in with me?”

He said this carefully. He expected Chris to think about it, but Chris turned to face him and kissed him deeply in answer. When he pulled back he had a wide grin on his face and he just said:

“Yes.”

Monday, January 7th

The physical therapy today was the most intense it had ever been since it started, and when they arrived back at the coffee shop Chris had a snarling, grumpy Daniel on his hands.

“I just want to go back to work,” Daniel snapped as he tried to get comfortable at one of the round tables in the coffee shop.

“It’s only been a short while, Daniel.” Chris placed a coffee in front of his boyfriend and pasted the most supportive expression on his face that he could muster.

The PT was working well and it wouldn’t be long before Daniel could return to the precinct. Selfishly, the thought of Daniel back out there in harm’s way filled him with dread. The other part of him, the one that had fallen in love so damn hard it hurt, just wanted Daniel happy.

“I could go back in and fly a desk,” Daniel repeated for the millionth time since he was off heavy meds and on to PT and recuperation. “It’s what they’ll have me doing in a week anyway.”

God, he didn’t even want to start thinking of Daniel back at the station. Seven short days and Chris wouldn’t have Daniel to himself anymore. He refused to let his fear for what could happen to Daniel rule how he was feeling now and focused on the fact he had a part to play. He was doing his damndest to be the best boyfriend in the entire city of New York, and so far, the façade hadn’t cracked to expose the scared man beneath.

“Drink your coffee and stop whining, big man,” Ame said with a smile in her voice as she dropped triple chocolate muffins onto two plates. “Anyone else would be loving the enforced vacation.” Clearly Daniel was confused as to what emotion he should be showing at the arrival of muffins. The warring reactions of
I hate being sick
and
I love chocolate so much
were comical to see. Daniel settled on a narrow-eyed grumpy expression but it didn’t stop him from diving into muffin heaven.

“Did you hear from Maria yet?” Chris saw the need to change the conversation and decided on a fairly safe subject almost instantly.

“They said the C-section is planned for tomorrow now. Ten or thereabouts.”

“Ib e kay?” Daniel mumbled around an obscenely large mouthful of muffin and chocolate. He swallowed and then repeated the question. “Is she okay?”

“Doctors say she’s doing well, but her blood pressure is still not good even with the bed rest, and the baby needs to be here sooner rather than later.”

Chris listened with half an ear as he watched his lover’s gorgeous face break into a smile. Daniel loved babies—he was a baby magnet. Since Christmas, if he had made his way down from Chris’s bedroom to the shop and was in here drinking coffee, then he attracted women with babies. Ame had described it as ‘like flies around a cow’s ass’.

Maybe it was the whole wounded soldier thing Daniel had going for him—he had used a cane for a while to keep the weight off his injured leg. Maybe it was curling dark hair that touched his collar in soft waves or the most amazing changeable hazel eyes known

to man. Whatever it was, somehow, if a woman sat near him with a crying baby, then with a few hand gestures and funny faces, Daniel had the baby cooing and smiling and the moms not far from the same reaction.