NEWBORN: Book One of the Newborn Trilogy (34 page)

We break apart.

“I’m so happy!” Wolf is beaming his crooked
smile.

I shake my head, forestalling him. “I need
time, Wolf,” I tell him. “I need some time to think about what
you’ve said. I can’t break things off right away with Gabriel. You
can give me time, can’t you?”

Black eyes are wide. “Of course!” I’m getting
the sense he’s simply glad to have a foot in. Other body parts can
follow later.

“Gabriel and I are still planning to go to
the vampire lair in the forest. Soon, too. Want to come?”

“I’ll be there,” he tells me. “I’ll transform
and everything to protect you from the vampires
and
the
wizards.”

I grin at this slight. “Bad dog!”

“You have no idea…”

Mom appears at my side. She looks frazzled.
“I guess you were going to leave me back there with my Diet Coke
for company,” she says to me. Before I can respond she extends her
hand to Wolf, smiling warmly at him. “Cindy Saynt,” she says
formally. “Glad to make your acquaintance.”

“Wolfgang Ronfaro,” he says, shaking her
hand.

“Mom, this is my friend Wolf. Wolf, this is
my mom. We were having a drink when we saw you at the bar.”

Mom gazes at me pointedly. “You mean
you
were having a drink. I was having a Diet Coke.” She
thinks… To my dismay, she takes the stool next to mine so I’m
sandwiched between them. Between Mom and Wolf. Wolf’s the rock.
Mom’s the hard place. Most unfortunate.

Two can play at her game. “Still hungry?” I
ask.

“Not in the least,” she says, not missing a
beat. “I’m on my second wind, my little saint! When you’re so
hungry you’re not,” she explains to Wolf.

He seems to have no idea what she’s talking
about.

“I’d better run,” Wolf says, dropping a bill
on the bar and getting up. “Lots of schoolwork I don’t have to do!”
He hugs me, whispering in my ear, “Think about what I’ve said. I’m
ready when you are.”

Offering me his best crooked grin, Wolf’s out
the door and up the street. Already far away. I wonder when I will
see him again. Soon, I hope. And I don’t. The sooner I see him the
sooner I have to figure out this mess with Gabriel. With the one
who will never accept me as his equal – or will he?

Mom is gazing wistfully at the door Wolfgang
left out of. “Handsome boy,” she says. “When did you start dating
him?”

Alone with her again, I search for my gin and
tonic.
Fuck!
I left it back at the table. “We aren’t
dating,” I answer dismissively. “We’re friends. That’s all.” I have
trouble believing my own words.

“Sweetie,” she says in that mothering way
where the tone descends. Fuck I hate that. “I saw everything! I was
watching the whole time. I may not have heard anything from across
the room, but I saw his body language toward you. I saw you two
hugging. He definitely likes you, Nora Saynt.”

“I know he does. That’s obvious!”

“Relax, honey,” Mom tells me. “I’m just
saying what I saw.” Yeah, right. She’s rarely
just
doing
anything. “The question is,” she begins again delicately, “do you
like him? Because if you do you should get him while you can. And
if you don’t, please leave him alone. It won’t end well.”

She would know!

Despite my fresh pangs of irritation, Mom has
a point. This is what I’m doing wrong. Not being decisive. I can
either date Gabriel or Wolf. Can’t live with neither and according
to them can’t live with both.

“Yes,” I say to her, “I do like him. A
lot.”

She smiles, patting her hair as she gazes at
the ceiling. “Well, then make him yours before it’s too late.
Because ‘too late’ is coming. Perhaps sooner, perhaps later. But
it’s coming, Nora Saynt.”

I ponder this.

“Come on,” Mom says, “let’s go.”

Getting up, we leave The Mousetrap and find
the car a block up the street. Mom takes me back to Evergreen State
College, pulling around till she’s at the top of the horseshoe road
adjoining Red Square.

I have half a mind to leave the car without
giving her a goodbye hug. I think better of it. Instead, I embrace
her as my mother. Not a perfect mother. Not a great mother. Not
even a good mother. Simply
my
mother. Because that’s who she
is.

“Bye, Mom,” I tell her, “thanks for visiting.
Thanks for the iPad! I’ve been getting lots of use out of it!”

She smiles fondly. “Look at you, Nora Saynt.
You’re practically glowing! You really do like that boy, don’t
you?”

I nod, smiling back. At last we’re having a
happy exchange! Best to quit while ahead. So I get out of the car.
“Love you, Mom,” I say, despite a roaring inside me not to. “Have a
good rest of semester. And easy on the Chanel!” Without waiting for
a response, I turn on my heel and begin walking across Red
Square.

I don’t look back.

* * *

I open the door to find Kiri not looking
pleased. She’s sitting Indian style on her bed, her laptop on her
knees, her hair bobbed. From behind horn-rimmed glasses her eyes
lock on me as I walk in the room.

Oh shit.
I don’t need more
conflict.

“Hi,” Kiri says, and instantly I sense it in
her tone. A tenseness. A straining to keep calm. I must have pissed
her off. What on earth have I done now? “Haven’t seen you all day,”
Kiri remarks.

“You won’t believe the day I’ve had!” I
exhale, weighting my voice with exhaustion. Maybe if she sees I’ve
had enough she’ll lay off. “Nearly died of boredom in two classes
and then guess who shows up. My Mom! Right?” I follow up Kiri’s
restrained burst of surprise. “So I take her to The Mousetrap and
try and get her drunk. It didn’t work. Least I got a drink! Lord
knows –!”

“Nora,” Kiri interrupts. “Why did you have
sex on my bed?”

Oh fucking shitballs!
I forgot all
about that. Geez, I’m not having a good day. Didn’t I tell her
that? I thought she would get the message. “Oh, that,” I begin
lamely, “I’m not sure what you –”

“There’s blood all over my comforter,” Kiri
informs me. “You didn’t tell me you’re a virgin. Or
were
a
virgin. Either
that
happened or an axe murderer came in
here, demanded you get on my bed, and slew you there. But then
where’s the body? And how come you’re still living in it?”

Won’t be for long!
my alter ego says
happily.

Die, evildoer!
I retort.

Geez, Kiri’s mouth gets small when she’s
mad.

“Sorry,” I tell her. “I – I was going to
replace it, Kiri, honest. I forgot – my bad. I’ll buy you
another.”

Kiri puts her laptop aside and stands up,
gesturing to the comforter. “What a mess,” she says. It is. It’s
worse than I remember. Spots everywhere. “But it’s not about the
comforter. It’s about something deeper. It’s about disrespecting me
and
my space. This is
my
bed, Nora! Why would you
have sex in it?”

I shop around for a second before deciding on
the truth. “Kiri, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect you.
That’s kind of where we ended up. It wasn’t personal or in spite or
anything. I promise.” Or was it? I remember differently, but now
isn’t the opportune moment for facts to kick in.

Kiri sighs and looks down at her bed. “Buy me
a new one and you’re forgiven. You’re still the best roommate I’ve
had.”

“I’m the only roommate you’ve had,” I remind
her, smiling despite myself. It helps that Kiri is far more
reasonable than Mom. Like, far more. “So where did you get your
comforter? I’ll get it this weekend.”

“Online,” she answers. “Kind of hard to find.
Why don’t I buy another and you pay me back. Okay?”

“Buy two,” I tell her, smoothing down bloody
folds. “I like this. It was –
is
! It
is
comfy,” I
follow up quickly.

How is it I always manage to put my already
overlarge foot into my even bigger mouth?

Going to the mini fridge, Kiri gets out a
bottle of sparkling wine. She finds two flute glasses. She’s popped
the cork and is filling the glasses before I have time to protest.
Not that I would have. Are you kidding? I take a flute glass and
sit down on my bloodless bed. Kiri sits on her wasted
comforter.

“So,” she begins, sipping her sparkling wine,
“you had sex with
him
.”

It isn’t a question. “Yes,” I reply. “You
knew it would happen, Kiri!”

“Yeah,” Kiri says, “I did, but I didn’t think
you’d do it on my –” A pause. She waves a hand to abort the thought
and takes another, long sip of wine. “Never mind,” she says at
last. “How was it?”

Closing my eyes, I sip the sparkling liquid.
His kiss tastes so much better than this. “Amazing,” I tell her.
“Fantastic. Wonderful. He is perfect, Kiri! My wizard,” I say
without thinking, fluttering lashes.

Kiri giggles. “Your wizard! That’s a good
one. Was it magical?”

Oh shitballs
. Can’t go there. “Of
course!
He
is magical.”

Kiri narrows her eyes. “Did it hurt?”

I shake my head, drinking more wine. “No! Not
at all. Well, a little. Here and there,” I amend. “Barely! Funny,
I’ve always heard it hurts the first time. For girls – not for
guys. Fucking jerks.”

Kiri looks astonished.

Oh no – what now? I can’t simultaneously
imbibe alcohol and take criticism from everybody. First Mom. Then
Wolf. Now Kiri. I need my wits about me to manage the perpetual
onslaught.

“It
does
hurt the first time,” Kiri
says to me, “almost without fail. You obviously popped your
cherry,” she adds, gesturing to the blood all over her comforter.
“I can’t see how it didn’t hurt!”

“I –”

It dawns on me.

Oh fucking no!

But the answer appears to be
oh fucking
yes
. Gabriel put a spell on me before we had sex. If only I can
remember what it is! I can’t. Not now. I wonder… Could it have
removed virgin pain?

The thought of him doing this spills fury in
my veins. I don’t know why. Yes I do! Because that pain was
mine
to experience! Mine to live! I wanted to have sex for
the first time like humans are supposed to! With pleasure
and
pain! It was all pleasure. No pain. Gabriel has robbed
me of my first time!

“Is something wrong?” Kiri asks, snapping me
back into reality. “You look really mad about something.”

I slurp down my wine. “It’s nothing!”

I’m so mad! How dare Gabriel relieve me of
pain! I can’t believe him! He takes and takes and takes!
Everything! Until it’s gone! I wanted to scream in agony my first
time. Wanted to
have
a first time. It’s every girl’s right!
Not according to Gabriel. He doesn’t believe in Immag rights!

Kiri is eyeing me warily. “We’re friends,
right?”

This wakes me up. I nod, cocking my head to
one side. “Why do you ask?” Do I want to know?

“My opinion matters to you?” Kiri follows
up.

Fucking fuck!
I hate where this is
going.

“Yes.”

Kiri takes another sip of wine. She allows
these facts to sit in the air a moment. Undisturbed. “That being
the case, I’m going to be blunt with you. I want you to stop seeing
Gabriel.”

“You –”

She holds up a hand. “I understand,” she
says, enunciating clearly. “Believe me, Nora – I do. He’s fucking
gorgeous. I have eyes. Among other things, but I also have a head.
I sense he’s dangerous for you, although I can’t say how or why.
It’s a feeling, and I think it’s meaningful.”

“I love him,” I say. “I love him, Kiri. I
can’t not see him.”

Kiri isn’t breaking eye contact. When she
does, she sighs. She must have seen the truth therein, that I do
love him. “I get it,” she remarks. “I do. Believe me, he’s the
prettiest thing
I’ve
seen. But let’s get real – he’s not
going to hang out forever. He doesn’t even go to school here!
You’re dating a townie, Nora. Ew!”

“First of all,” I begin, “
not
a
townie. Second of all, I
love
him! That’s all I need to say!
Case closed! Done deal! Some other similar expression! I don’t have
to explain myself beyond that point.”

“Nora!” Kiri erupts. “
Please
end it
with him. Love is… fickle. That’s being complimentary. You had fun
– you had sex with him. You lost your virginity to a super model!
Lord knows I didn’t. I congratulate and applaud you. But it’s over.
Done. Don’t fall in the love trap with
him
.”

“So I’m allowed to fall in love with
somebody,” I say aloud, trying to follow her logic, “but not
him
. Not Gabriel White?”

Kiri refills our glasses with the remainder
in the bottle. “Correct!”

“Thanks for letting me know your grand
duchess-ness!” I trumpet loudly. Geez, too much alcohol. “Are there
more royal decrees I should bring forth from the castle and write
on tablets by the river?”

Kiri hastily takes a mouthful from my flute
glass before returning it. “How much did you drink at The
Mousetrap?”

“Two gin and tonics.”

“Lightweight!” Kiri guffaws. “Pace yourself!
You’re new at this.”

Rolling my eyes, I swig down more wine. “I’m
not leaving him,” I tell her. “Never ever. I love him, Kiri. I’ve
never loved anybody – not like this. I have to try and make it
work.” Kiri opens her mouth to speak, but I plow on before she can.
“If it fails it fails! But making it fail to make sure it doesn’t
fail is insanity!”

She opens her mouth, then closes and opens it
again. “You’ve heard my opinion,” she states, “it hasn’t changed.
But it’s starting to sound like you seriously aren’t going to leave
him. So if letting you know what I think is the best I can do now,
it’s enough. You know what I think, don’t you?”

I reply, “You hate his guts!”

“No!” Kiri exclaims. “I don’t hate his guts.
I love yours. I want you to be safe!”