Newborn Needs a Dad (15 page)

Small towns. She dearly loved this one, even with its gossip. If only there was a way she and Bryce could stay here.

Neil, standing concealed in a private cubicle across the hall from Gabby, watched her. She wasn’t sleeping, even though her eyes were closed. She would never sleep while Bryce was in surgery. And if she were in any condition, she would
have wanted to be in that surgery, inches away from her son, watching over him.

Which was what he had to do now. He’d been there through the preliminary tests, been there when they’d prepped Bryce for surgery. But he’d been torn, because he’d wanted to be with Gabrielle, too. Bryce needed him more, though, and there was no choice. “I’m going to gown up,” he said quietly from the entry to her cubicle.

“Have you been with him?” She didn’t yet open her eyes.

“Yes,” he said simply. “I’ve been with him through everything so far.”

The tears sliding down her cheeks broke his heart.

“I was hoping you were with him. You’re the only one…” She finally raised her head to look at Neil, swiping at her tears as she did. “You and I, we’re all he has. So I trust you to watch over my baby, Neil.”

“I know you do, Gabrielle. I know you do.” No more words were said, because it was time. He wanted to go to her, pull her into his arms and hold her until the pain went away. But the pain wasn’t going to leave her until her baby was well. And his fear for that little boy…it was an agony like none he’d ever known.

“Neil?” Eric glanced up as Neil took his place next to the operating table.

As many times as he’d been in this very same position over the years—gowned and standing by to observe—this time seemed so daunting, almost foreign to him. Like he’d never really witnessed a surgery before. But, then, he’d never witnessed one in which he’d been so personally involved. “Just observing my…my nephew,” he said. Bryce was so tiny, so helpless, lying there, as Eric cut into his chest. All these huge medical machines to sustain him and one small baby to sustain…it seemed so overwhelming. “How’s he doing?”

“Good, so far. I think we got lucky…well, as lucky as we can get with a sick baby who has a heart defect. But it’s a
simple
TGV, the best-case scenario with this, and I think after he has his next surgery his prognosis will be very promising for a bright and healthy future.”

Neil was more relieved to hear that than he’d expected to be. A simple deviation always had a much better outcome than a complex one, and Bryce would get to live a normal life and do all the things all little boys did. “Gabrielle will be relieved to hear that,” he said, trying to sound unaffected. But the truth was, he was already seeing Bryce a few years into the future, playing soccer, or baseball. Playing it with… Neil blanked the scene out of his head. It was too cozy, and he wanted to be involved in the boy’s life. Wanted to be the one playing soccer or baseball with him. But he’d been making such a mess of things with Gabrielle, even after she’d done everything humanly possible to make things right for him, to make things better. So, in the end, would she have him? Or would she decide it wasn’t worth the effort after all?

“Neil, I had no idea the baby was your nephew,” Eric commented.

Fallon, who was assisting in the surgery, looked up at Neil, but said nothing. Dinah, who’d agreed to be the other assisting nurse, however, did comment. “You have the same eyes,” she said.

Henry Gunther, the anesthesiologist, who’d literally been brought in by boat due to the flooding, glanced at Neil over the top of his glasses for a moment, then glanced down at the baby, nodding. “Yep, same eyes,” he agreed. “You going to marry Dr Evans? I heard that you two…”

“Is there anybody who hasn’t heard?” Neil snapped.

“Probably not,” Eric said as he tied off a small vessel and extended his hand to Dinah for a clamp. Dinah handed it to
him. For just a fraction of a second Eric took his eyes off his surgical field and glanced across the table at her. Her eyes caught that glance, and held it almost defiantly until he returned his full attention to his patient.

“Small towns, Neil,” he continued. “You know how it is. So, how’s Gabrielle doing? It’s been a rough day on her, physically and emotionally, and I’m sure she’s feeling the effects right now.”

“She’s strong.” He tried to sound disengaged, but as he looked at the bag of blood flowing into Bryce’s vein—blood from his own vein—he knew he wasn’t disengaged in any way, and could never be. In fact, he was more engaged here than he’d ever been in his entire life. To Bryce, to Gabrielle…“And I’m pretty damned stupid.”

Dinah glanced up, first at Eric, then at Neil. “Angela told me you love Gabby, but you’re not doing a very good job of it. But you’re allowed to be a little stupid for a while, because people in love usually do something stupid along the way, don’t they? I mean, who in this room hasn’t been stupid in love?”

“Great. Even the out-of-towners know,” Neil huffed out. “And here I was, living under the delusion that there were still a few people who hadn’t yet gotten themselves caught up in the story of how Neil fell in love with the woman who had his brother’s baby?”

Everyone in the operating theater chuckled. “No one ever claimed life in White Elk was dull,” Fallon commented as she pulled the suture tray over, meaning the surgery was nearing its end.

Neil took a step closer to the operating table, and saw that Bryce had pinked up quite nicely. In part, that was due to him being ventilated by Henry Gunther, and in part because the blood was flowing better to Bryce’s entire body now. It was
something Gabrielle should have seen, had she been physically able. Something he would describe for her. “So, everybody knows how I feel about Gabrielle?” he asked, suddenly embarrassed that Gabrielle’s friends had recognized his feelings for her even before he’d admitted it to himself, let alone to her.

“Everybody,” everyone in the theater said in unison.

“So much for privacy,” he snapped.

“Privacy?” Eric exclaimed. “You had all the privacy you needed when you lived in California. And you hated it. Remember? In fact, you were the one who convinced me that the charm of a small town like White Elk was just what I needed.”

Neil ignored Eric’s comment about small towns because Eric was right. “Have you made any arrangements to get Bryce out to Salt Lake City?”

“Rose Kelly is working on it. Last I heard, there’s no place for miles for the helicopter to set down, so we’ll have to be creative.”

“But Bryce will be fine here for a while?” Now he was sounding like a worried parent because, as a doctor, he knew the answer to that question. Bryce would be fine here for quite a while. Right now, though, he couldn’t reach down deep enough to find the doctor in him, when his feelings for that baby were all over the place.

Eric glanced over at Neil. “You should go be with Gabrielle now. She needs you. And you need her.”

One last look at Bryce, and Neil walked out of the operating room. He dumped his surgical gown, mask and hat into the hamper outside the door, and turned to leave the area, but Gabby was standing in the doorway. More like leaning against it. Pale. Weak. Tired. And fighting with everything she had in her to be there.

“How is he?” she asked.

The worry on her face was plain. “You shouldn’t be here, Gabrielle. You’re not strong enough yet.”

“Where else could I be?”

“Back in bed. Resting.”

“But I wanted to find out. All I’ve been getting are the vague reports they call out from surgery. You know, ‘It’s going as well as can be expected.’ ‘Your baby is stable.’” She slumped a little harder against the door frame and Neil immediately sprang forward to support her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her up. “How is he, Neil? You were in there, you saw him. So, how is my son?”

“He’s pink.”

“Pink?”

“You know, pink, the way a baby should be.”

“Pink,” she said, leaning her head into his chest and sniffling. “My baby is pink.”

“It’s a simple TGV, Gabrielle. Eric said he’s in good shape and his prognosis is promising.”

She nodded, but didn’t speak.

“And they’re getting ready to close, so you should be able to see him in a little while.”

“I’m glad you were with him, Neil. Somehow, I’m sure he knew that. I was in there,” she whispered, then sighed in relief. “I
was
in there. Through you.”

Touched, and choking back his own tears, Neil cleared his throat. “Look, you need to get back in bed. Eric will come and let you know when you can see Bryce.”

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“Other patients. I have…other patients to see.” That was a lie. But right now he just couldn’t deal with this. There were too many emotions, too many memories. And he couldn’t sort them out and, at the same time, be around Gabrielle, because Gabrielle clouded his judgment to the
point where she was the only thing he could feel. The only thing he could see. Right now, he had to have objectivity and clear thinking. Because he loved her, and loved that little boy.

But would it be enough to get him past his feelings about Gavin?

Neil signaled to one of the nurses at the other end of the hall. “Please see to it that Dr Evans gets back to her room.” Then he turned and walked away. Never looked back. Wouldn’t look back, because if he did, he couldn’t walk away. And right now, walking away was the only thing he could do.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” Eric asked Gabby.

“It’s only a helicopter ride. I’ll be fine.” The surgery had ended twenty-four hours ago, and she’d spent almost every hour since then either holding Bryce or sitting next to his crib, counting fingers and toes, singing lullabies, kissing his chubby pink cheeks, just watching him and falling more and more in love.

Outside, the flood waters were receding, but not significantly. Activity had died down at the hospital, though. People weren’t flowing in with the current as they had only a day ago because they were back home now, trying to make sense of the damages and salvage whatever they could. Walt Graham had finally wandered in, complained that he’d made a wasted trip as Gabby had already delivered. One by one, every friend she’d made in White Elk had come in to see her, and with the flooding still going on outside, for some of them it hadn’t been an easy trip in. But she’d had a steady parade of visitors who made her feel so loved, and so much a part of something wonderful.

If home was where the heart was, in just a few short weeks she’d found home. But there was another heart to consider—one that wasn’t hers, or Bryce’s. That was the heart she would
not break no matter what happened. All the hours with Bryce, all those hours holding him and being thankful for everything she had…that’s when she’d made her decision. If Neil wanted her, she would stay. If he didn’t, she would leave and allow him to have his life here without the constant reminder of his brother. It would be a sacrifice, but not too great a sacrifice if it made Neil whole again.

Besides, even though home was where the heart was, her heart was with Bryce and wherever they were together, that would be her home.

She only hoped, and prayed, that Neil would be part of that.

Gabby hadn’t seen Neil, though. Neither had she heard from him. It hurt, but she was dealing with it the best way she could.

“Well, Fallon’s going along to look after both you and Bryce,” Eric said. “And I’ll be in touch as soon as you land. The hospital is on alert, and Dr James Galbraith will be standing by to assume Bryce’s care. So, you’re good to go.”

“Dr Galbraith is good?”

“I’d trust my twins to him.”

Knowing that made her feel better. She was anxious for this trip, anxious to have Bryce in the hospital where he would have his next surgery, anxious for his recovery so they could start a normal life together. Still, she’d wanted…no, she’d hoped…Neil would stop by, wish her luck, check on Bryce. Anything. That simply wasn’t to be the case, though. So she hugged Eric, climbed into the back of the ambulance and took a seat next to Fallon, then prepared herself for the trip up to the top of the middle Sister, where her medical transport awaited.

An hour later, she climbed out of the ambulance that had picked them up in Salt Lake City, and stepped back as a flurry of medical activity swooped in over Bryce. He was whisked straight away to the NICU—neonatal intensive care unit—not because he was in critical condition but as a precaution, while
Gabby was left behind to tend to the admittance chores like paperwork, consents and insurance.

“Father?” the admitting clerk asked, when she saw that section of the form had been left blank.

“No father,” Gabby said. Then changed her mind. “Dr Gavin Thierry, deceased.” He was Bryce’s father and deserved that title, even posthumously.

“I’m sorry,” the clerk said.

“So am I,” Neil said, stepping up behind Gabby.

She spun to face him. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Neither did I. Yesterday, when I left the hospital, I just drove. It took me hours to get out of the valley, taking all the high roads, and once I was finally out, I wasn’t sure where I was going. So I came here. Took a room across the street at the hotel, and…waited.”

“For Bryce.”

“For you, Gabrielle. I wanted to see you.”

“Your son’s checked into the NICU now,” the clerk interrupted. “You can go on up.”

Gabby nodded her thanks to the woman, and started to head for the elevator. But halfway there she stopped, and turned back to Neil. “Are you coming?”

“Do you want me?”

“He’s your nephew, Neil. He has your blood running through his veins. You have a right to be here.” He had a right, but she desperately wanted him to have the need to be here, and right now she didn’t know if that was the case, or if he’d come out of some kind of misplaced loyalty or obligation. “And I won’t keep you out of his life, if you want to be in it.”

He didn’t speak as he stepped onto the elevator with her, or as he rode up to the fourth floor. And when the door opened, he stepped out without saying a word. But when Gabby
gowned up and headed for the NICU, Neil said, “Tell him I’m here, and that I love him.”