Newborn Needs a Dad (9 page)

“Not a good thing,” he muttered, taking a drink of the sparkling water, wishing it was something much stronger.

“You two looked good out there,” Angela said.

She was taking a break, sitting in the employee lounge with her feet propped up on a low table. Gabby dropped down next to her, propped her own feet up, then compared pregnant bellies. She was carrying in a little ball in front, and an old wives’ tale said that meant it was a boy. But Angela was spread out all the way around. The same old wives’ tale said that meant it would be a girl.

“I felt pretty good, too. Except for the fact that I wasn’t dressed properly, and my dancing shoes didn’t really allow me to dance.”

Angela laughed. “I’m really sorry about that. But people
come in here dressed every which way. You really don’t stand out as badly as you think.”

“It’s a nice restaurant, Angela. I can see why you missed it, not being able to cook.”

“Well, I’m going to be off on maternity for quite a while, at least three months, so at some point I’ll have to get used to it.”

“So who’ll be in charge while you’re gone?”

“My sister is coming in from Arizona to take over the kitchen, and to help me. She’s a nurse. Well, she was a nurse. Not sure why she quit, but she did. So she has the time, and she also has a certificate from a culinary institute. Cooking was her first career choice before she fell in love with nursing. So, she’ll be here shortly and who knows? Maybe she’ll stay on and cook for me since she’s saying she’s not going back into nursing.”

“Some people just burn out.” Gabby arched her back when Bryce kicked, then shifted. “I just get comfortable in one position, then he changes, and I have to change.”

“Did you ever
not
want to know his sex?” Angela asked.

“Not really. I wanted to establish a personal relationship with my baby right from the start, know who he is, call him by name. Which meant he had to be more than an it—you know how people always refer to an unborn baby as it. But I didn’t want that. I wanted to know who I was bringing into this world, probably from the instant I knew I was pregnant.”

“Brian calls our baby
it
. In fact, in the divorce papers that arrived this morning, he stated that I can have full custody of it. Not the baby. Not the child. Not the boy or girl.
It
.” She sighed wistfully. “His charge is that we’d agreed to not have children, and I tricked him.”

“Oh, Angela. I’m so sorry. I’d really hoped you could work it out.”

“I did, too. He didn’t. But I can do this, and I’ve got your
example to follow. And just think. If you stay in White Elk, our children will be friends, playmates.” Angela pushed herself to the edge of her chair. “So, do you know?”

“Know what?”

“Whether I’m having a boy or a girl?”

Her guesses were usually right, but she never told her patients what she guessed. “Want the test? It’s easy.”

Angela shook her head. “I like surprises.”

“Surprises and miracles.” Hers, and Angela’s. “You’re going to do just fine with this. I’m a pretty good judge of future mothers.”

“It is a miracle, isn’t it? I guess I never thought of it in those terms.”

“It’s always a miracle, but some miracles are different. So, since you don’t want to know your baby’s gender, tell your friends to buy yellow for you. It goes either way.”

“If
you
were buying me a baby present, what color would
you
buy me?”

Gabby laughed. “White.” Then she followed Angela to the door, where she was met by Neil.

“I think it’s time to go,” he said, “unless you want another dance.” He actually held out his arms to her, but she waved him off, laughing.

“No dancing. No food. No more anything for the evening. It’s time for this pregnant lady to go home and go to bed.” Of course, the road back to the cabin was long, and she was dreading the ride. But now was the time. Neil had to know.

And she decided to tell him before they left the parking lot. “Could you wait just a minute before we leave?” she asked. “There’s something we need to talk about.”

“You’re accepting my offer to stay?”

He put the car in neutral and twisted in his seat to face her. Thank heavens he left the dome light off and they were parked
in one of the darker areas, because she didn’t want to see his face right now. She was afraid it would break her heart. “I’m not sure you’re going to want me to stay. In fact, you may not even want to drive me home.”

He chuckled, but it was nervous. “What could be so bad?”

It was already beginning to hurt her. “I just want you to know that I’ll stay here until your other obstetrician arrives, because I don’t want to put my patients or your hospital in a lurch. But if you get someone in here to replace me right away, I’ll go.” More than hurting her, it was ripping her heart in two.

“Gabrielle, I don’t understand. What’s this about?”

“My baby, Neil. It’s about my baby.”

He was suddenly alert, sitting up straight, leaning in a little closer to her. Even in the dark shadows she could see the look of concern on his face. So she looked away.

“What’s wrong?” he gasped, putting a comforting hand on her arm. “Gabrielle, tell me what’s wrong, and I promise, we’ll find the best doctor to fix it.”

“That’s the problem, Neil. It can’t be fixed. What’s done is done.”

His grip on her arm tightened a little. “What, Gabrielle?”

“My baby’s father.” She took a deep breath, and swallowed. “Bryce’s full name is Bryce
Thierry
Evans. Gavin is…was his father.”

Neil didn’t respond. Not in the next few seconds. Not in the next two minutes.

“Neil?” she finally whispered. “Did you hear what I said?”

“What I heard,” he began in a perfectly calm voice, “is that, first, my brother slept with my wife, then stole her. Then he slept with you and got you pregnant.”

“Your wife?” she choked. Just when she thought this moment couldn’t get any worse… “Gavin stole your wife?”
Worse, had she slept with a married man?

“He stole, she went. Whatever you want to call it.” Still calm, and much more in control than she’d thought he would be, Neil started the car, and it moved forward. Slowly, though.

“Don’t you want to know what happened?” she asked. “Why I…why Gavin and I…”

“I’m a doctor. I know
exactly
what happened.” His voice was so chilled it sent shivers up her spine.

Angry tears pooled in Gabby’s eyes. She was angry at herself for hurting Neil, angry at Neil for not wanting to hear what had happened between Gavin and her. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Neil. When I came here I had no idea you were Gavin’s brother, then after I found out…it was difficult. I couldn’t figure out a good way to tell you. Especially after I knew you two were estranged.”

“Well, at least I know why you fainted that day.”

“It was a shock.”

“I guess it would be.” Same cold voice. “But I do have one question. Why were you in White Elk? Gavin didn’t live here.”

“I’d gone to Spotswood, to find him. To tell him. He didn’t know. After I found he’d died, I was on my way back to the airport, and I was tired. I just wanted a room for the night. White Elk seemed so—”

“So the relationship didn’t last?” he interrupted. “You and Gavin weren’t together?”

“It lasted a week. At the end of that week we knew we didn’t have anything worth continuing. And I didn’t know he was married. I would have never—”

“He wasn’t. By the time he got around to you, he’d been divorced from my ex-wife a good year.”

“
By the time he got around to me?
That’s not fair, Neil. I know I’ve hurt you, and I didn’t mean to. But you weren’t part of this. I didn’t know you when Gavin and I were…” She paused, drew in a steadying breath. “Gavin was a nice man who helped me
through some difficult days. He wasn’t some predator out looking for a vulnerable woman, the way you’re implying.”

As they rounded a curve, and started the descent off the ridge, Neil slowed down even more.

And didn’t speak again for nearly a minute. Neither did Gabby. Instead, she looked out the window, stared up at the night sky, hoping to take some comfort in the twinkling stars, but they were all gone. The night was still, no stars, a moon that was clouding over. Maybe fighting would have been better. Neil yelling, letting out his anger. But he wasn’t doing that. Wasn’t doing anything at all, and that’s what worried her. “So, do you still want me to work until my replacement comes?” She wasn’t even going to bother asking if he still wanted her to stay in White Elk, because she knew the answer to that one.

“You do whatever you want, Gabrielle.”

Frigid indifference. She hated that. But that’s what it was, and she’d deal with it. She’d made promises here she wanted to keep. “Then I’ll work for a while longer.”

“Fine.”

“And leave as soon as I’m replaced.”

“Fine.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you, Neil. I didn’t see that side of him.”

No response.

“And if I’d known…” What? What would she have done differently? Gavin had been an important part of her life, and she couldn’t deny that. He’d given her a baby, and for that gift, he’d always have a place in her heart. “I’m sorry I hurt you. That’s not what I wanted to happen.”

“You have one hell of a way of ending a nice evening,” he snapped. And that’s all he said until they turned onto Aspen Loop, where, in the distance, they could see red and blue lights flashing through the pine trees. Emergency lights. Everywhere. “Damn,” he muttered, accelerating just the slightest.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing that’s going to involve you,” he said. “And I mean it, Gabrielle. You’re staying out of it.”

“And you can stop me?” she snapped.

“I can, and I will.”

“Because you’re angry with me?”

“You’re damn right I’m angry. Mad as hell. Don’t know what to do about it yet either. But that’s not the reason.”

“Then what is?”

“You’re carrying my nephew. That’s the reason.”

E
RIC
R
AMSEY
was already on the scene when Neil stopped the car and got out. Gabby stayed right up with Neil, matching his fast, furious steps as he made his way over the rocky road to the guardrail that seemed to be the center of activity.

“Two vehicles involved,” Eric said in greeting.

Neil was already out of his suit jacket, pulling on a pair of coveralls one of the medics had handed him the instant he’d jumped out of the car.

“One was a van,” Eric continued. “Teenagers out doing whatever the hell it is teenagers do. Thank God my girls are only five.” He paused, shook his head, refocused. “Anyway, the other car didn’t go over. Man and woman, no significant injuries.”

“How long ago?” Neil asked.

“Thirty minutes.”

“Any sign of life from down below?”

“Over here,” Eric shouted at the light crew, a group of volunteers whose job was to light up the scene of the emergency.
They carried portable utility lights of all kinds, which would run off the generator that was being pulled into the scene at the same time. “We need them as near the edge as we can get them.” Then to Neil he said, “So far, nothing from below. The van is visible. It’s hung up on a ledge down there and I have no idea if it’s stable, or what we’ll find.”

“Anybody else down there yet?”

“Not yet. We’ve been prepping the scene up here first.”

“OK, then. Let me go get into my harness and I’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.” He spun to walk away, then stopped, and turned to face Gabby. “I’m not even going to bother warning you to be careful, because you’ll just do what you want anyway. But this could be a long, hard night. So take care of yourself.” His voice wasn’t quite angry, but wasn’t friendly either, and the chill in it wasn’t missed by Eric, who frowned.

“Everything OK?” Eric asked, both Gabby and Neil. He looked first at Neil, then at Gabby, then back to Neil when he didn’t get an answer

“Fine,” Neil finally ground out. “Everything is just fine.”

Eric took that as a hint not to pursue the matter any further, opting, instead, to go to the equipment truck to harness up. Neil followed immediately. “Don’t ask,” Neil said, waving off his partner before Eric could say a word.

Eric tossed Neil his harness. “If I’d known your evening was going that badly, I’d have called.”

“Evening was fine. The ride home wasn’t.”

As Neil harnessed up to go down the side of the mountain face with Eric and the others, he avoided watching Gabby, who was in the process of establishing herself in the back of one of the ambulances, pulling out various medical supplies that might be needed. It was too damned frustrating. He didn’t need it. Didn’t need anything but the life he’d had before she’d come to White Elk.

“Anything I can do?” Eric asked, as the two of them were about to go over the side of the mountain.

“Shoot me in the leg if I ever go near another woman.”

Eric grimaced. “That bad?”

“That bad.”

“Maybe you just need more practice with women.”

“The only practice I need is in avoiding them.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I understand you two looked pretty good out on the dance floor. Actually, I heard several interesting versions of the story.”

“Already?” Neil snapped, as he checked his ropes. Emergency lights were finally directed down the mountainside, and dozens of people, all of whom knew their jobs, pressed into action as two doctors and three other rescuers lowered themselves over the side of the mountain, and disappeared down into the black abyss.

Neil liked this part of the job, the physical rigors of it, the adrenaline burst. Gavin had, too. In fact, rescues like this had been one of those times he and Gavin had worked well together. Back in simpler days.
Much simpler
, he said to himself, thinking about Gabby and trying
not
to connect Gavin to her. “See anything?” Neil called to Eric, who’d come down parallel to him, while the other three came down in the second wave.

“Maybe a headlight, but I’m not sure.”

Whatever they found, it wasn’t going to be good. Sighing, Neil turned his attention to getting to the bottom. But not before he gave one brief thought to Gabby. What the hell was he going to do now? She had no one, and she was carrying his nephew. The normal thing, under these circumstances, would probably be to walk away from her. But that wouldn’t be the right thing, and right now he wasn’t sure he wanted to do the right thing. Not sure at all. “I see it!” he shouted to Eric.
“About twenty feet down, and to the left. Nothing moving, as far as I can tell.”

And he sure as hell wished he hadn’t kissed her.

Aching back, cold to the bone, the first hour into the rescue had been an exercise in patience because all they’d done was wait. Neil and Eric were at the van, word was there were survivors, but so far no one had been sent up. Several others had gone down, though, to tie off the van to make it secure. It was a slow process. Gabby was frustrated and uncomfortable, and that was about her physical circumstances. The way she felt about Neil’s reaction…actually, she was trying
not
to think about that.

People all around her were pitching in. It was an amazing thing to watch, because tables were set up and coffee was being handed around to rescuers and watchers alike. Blankets were coming out of car trunks and being wrapped around the shoulders of anxious parents waiting to find out if their children were in the vehicle at the bottom of the ravine. It was an almost surreal scene, because everybody seemed to know their place there. Everybody but Gabby, who decided to go lie down in the back of an ambulance while she waited, when the estimate for the first patient to be brought up turned into another thirty minutes. So she made her whereabouts known to one of the attendants, then stretched out, trying to fight off the dull, heavy sleep that wanted to slip down over her. Emotional sleep, she decided. Something to heal her dull emotional state.

But she didn’t sleep. She just existed in oblivion for a few minutes, not thinking, not planning. Not asking herself the obvious questions. Eyes closed, and focused only on her breathing, maybe her mental escape lasted five minutes when all of a sudden Gabby had the distinct impression that she was
being watched. When she opened her eyes and turned her head she saw him. He was kneeling next to the stretcher on which she was resting, his face only inches from Gabby’s. “Who are you?” she whispered, so not to startle the child.

He whispered back. “Benjamin Tyler Janssen, ma’am.”

Polite child, and scared to death. She could see that in his eyes. “And what can I do for you, Benjamin Tyler Janssen?” She guessed him to be seven, give or take a year.

Benjamin shrugged, didn’t answer. Tears were welling in his eyes but not spilling.

“Were you in the accident?” He could have been. Maybe he’d climbed up the side of the drop-off on his own.

“No,” he replied, his voice quivering as the tears got closer.

“Are you hurt, Benjamin?”

“No.”

That was good. “Are you here looking for someone who might have been in the accident?”

“No,” he answered again, as the tears finally began to roll down his cheeks.

By now, Gabby knew Benjamin wasn’t going to be forthcoming with information, and if she wanted to find out what was going on, she’d have to ask the right question. Which could go on all night. Except the child was here at an accident scene, kneeling in the back of an ambulance. The doctor in her took over. “Is someone you know sick, or hurt?”

“My grandpa. He said he didn’t feel so well, then he…” He sniffled, then wiped his tears on the sleeve of his jacket.

“What, Benjamin? You have to tell me so I can help him.”

“He went to sleep. And he wouldn’t wake up.”

A whole list of possibilities raced through Gabby’s mind. Stroke, heart attack, complete cardiac arrest. “Well, I’m a doctor, Benjamin, and I want to go see your grandfather right now. Can you tell me where he is?”

He nodded. “He’s still in the car. We were going back to our room and he had to stop because of all the sirens.”

Meaning they had been on the road to the lodge and had pulled over for the emergency vehicles. At least, that’s what she hoped he meant. “You’re staying at the lodge?

“Yes, ma’am. We can go hiking every day. Grandpa takes pictures and sells them to magazines.”

So grandpa was a professional photographer, which meant he was probably in pretty good health. Gabby hoped that would be enough to sustain him for a while. “Do you see that black bag sitting on the stretcher right behind you?” she asked, as she scooted to the edge of her stretcher, preparing to stand.

Benjamin turned around. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Well, right now, I need you to be my assistant and carry it.” While she carried the bag of first-aid supplies she was taking from the ambulance—an IV set-up, a flashlight, a bag of saline solution, a blanket and some incidentals. Not much, because she couldn’t deplete the ambulance. So, after stuffing everything into the pillowcase she’d been using during her much abbreviated rest, she followed Benjamin out the back of the ambulance, told one of the attendants where she’d be, then followed Benjamin through the crowd, which seemed to be growing larger by the minute.

At the edge of the scene, where the number of people dwindled, and the flurry of activity had died down, Gabby stopped for a moment to dial Neil’s cell phone. She didn’t expect him to answer, but she hoped that at some point he would listen to his messages. “It may be a heart attack or a stroke,” she started to explain. “Won’t know until I get there. But we’re going down the main access road. Call me when you get my message.” As she clicked off, she wasn’t sure that he would.

“Do you live near here, Benjamin?” she asked, hoping a little conversation would help calm the boy.

“No. But we come here sometimes. My grandpa likes the pictures he takes here.”

“And no one else comes with you?”

“Just me and Grandpa. My mom and dad stay home.”

Mom and dad. That was a relief, because she’d been wondering if Benjamin’s grandfather was raising him. “Well, as soon as we get your grandpa taken care of, we’ll call your mom and dad.” Benjamin was picking up his pace, and Gabby sensed they were nearing the car. Right now they were only a few hundred yards away from the crash site and she could still see the reflection from the lights set up all around it.

“Hurry up!” Benjamin yelled, breaking into a run.

She called Neil’s cell phone again. “I think I’m at the car now.” She flashed her light on it. “It’s an SUV, red, with a luggage rack on top.” And a man slumped over the steering wheel. “Gotta go,” she said, clicking off. Then clicked right back on. “And I’m not doing anything stupid,” she added, then clicked off again.

“Benjamin, what I need for you to do is stay here, on the road, and if someone comes by, wave at them, try to stop them. But don’t run out in front of them.” A mother’s advice. And it felt right.

“Is he going to be OK?”

She wanted to make promises, but she knew better. As she opened the passenger’s door and looked at the man in the next seat, her patient looked so bad she wondered if there were even any promises to make here at all. “What’s his name?” she asked Benjamin.

“Ben,” he said, his voice quivering as the tears started again. “Grandpa Ben.”

“Well, then, let me see what I can do for Grandpa Ben.” After she’d climbed inside and seated herself next to the man, the first thing she did was feel for a pulse in his neck. Nothing.
She repositioned fingers, tried again, still nothing. But on a third repositioning…a pulse! Very thready, very irregular, but it was there.

“Is he OK?” Benjamin called from the road.

If only she could twist around and be more flexible. Or at least be flexible enough to have a look in his eyes. But she couldn’t. The space was too cramped and she had too much bulk, so she climbed back outside the vehicle and went around to the driver’s door.

“Is my grandpa OK?” Benjamin yelled again. This time more agitated than frightened. He was expecting a miracle, and she didn’t want to let him down. But the situation wasn’t looking good for Grandpa Ben, and the fact that she was so limited wasn’t helping.

“I have to do a few more things before I know what’s going on,” she told the boy. Part of her wanted to hug the child and prepare him for the worst, and part of her wanted to send him back up the road so he wouldn’t have to be here if, or when, his grandfather died. She remembered seeing her mother die. It had been an aneurysm, had happened fast, while her dad had been working and she’d been home alone with her mom. It was a memory no child should ever have. But she needed Benjamin here with her, needed his help. “Benjamin, what I want you to do is make a phone call for me.” She tossed him her cell phone, then opened the driver’s door. “Call the number at the top of my list and tell the man who answers what I’m about to tell you…”

“Grandpa Ben, can you hear me?” she shouted at her patient. He was a big, muscular man. Curly brown hair, broad shoulders. Handsome and rugged, but much too large for her to move. “Ben, can you hear me?” No response. Not even a little stirring.

She checked his eyes. Pupils equal and reactive to light. Good. “Did you dial the number?”

Benjamin nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

Such a polite little boy. Manners were important. She intended to instill proper manners in Bryce. “Did anyone answer?”

“No,” he said.

“That’s OK. But you’ve got his voice mail, right?”

“Right.”

“Then say P-E-R-L. Pulse thready, tachycardia. Respirations…” She counted for several seconds. “Normal, shallow. And BP…” She pumped up the cuff, took a listen, got nothing, took another listen, couldn’t hear a thing. “Can’t hear it.”

Benjamin repeated her word for word.

“Mild cyanosis…”

Benjamin stumbled over those words.

“Skin cold and clammy.” Over the next two minutes she made all the diagnoses that she could standing next to the driver’s side, leaning in. And that’s as far as she could go. Physically, she couldn’t lift the elder Ben out, even with little Benjamin’s help. And she couldn’t even climb in and administer anything. So she was stalled here. Standing guard over a man who needed so much when she could give him so very little. “Tell him I’m starting an IV with saline.” After that, she needed help or the man would die. Of that, she had no doubt. Even without the proper diagnostic tools, she knew a heart attack when she saw one. A severe heart attack.