Next Time (15 page)

Chapter 19

Ryann was dressed in a pair of jeans, a button-down shirt, and a brown leather jacket when Payton arrived to pick her up for dinner that evening. The sun was just setting, its light seemed to bring out all the deep red hues in her hair and bathed her face in a soft glow. Payton was completely spellbound and smiled as Ryann walked toward her car.

Ryann’s lips parted, and the sweetest words flowed from them. “I am so hungry I could eat your bumper, so wherever you’re taking me, do it fast.”

“I thought we’d go for drinks first since it’s early, but we can do that later. Does Italian sound good?” Payton opened her door.

“Wonderful.”

“It’s not far from here, so don’t chew my seat,” Payton said and rushed around to the driver’s side.

She was barely behind the wheel when Ryann said, “Tell me what happened today.”

“Well, Leigh wasn’t home for most of the time I was there, but she did show up before we were done. She was dressed nice, so I assume she’d been at work. She came over and helped with a couple of boxes, all the while giving me the evil eye. She looked a little toasted. Then she asked to chat with me, and we both know it would’ve been about you, so I said no. It was a tense moment that wreaked havoc on Jana’s intestinal tract and her bladder. Melanie defused it by reminding Leigh about a no-drama promise, and she left. That was about it.”

Ryann stared at the side of Payton’s face. “You’re not leaving out anything?”

“She said something like she had my number, and I told her not to call it, but that was it. I assume she was speaking figuratively.”

“I’m sorry.” Ryann turned and stared out her window.

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

Ryann blew out a breath and nodded. “Want to hear something crazy? My mother called today. I was expecting it since Shelly told her about the breakup, which must’ve taken hours since Mom had all kinds of information. Mom told me that she doesn’t disapprove of me or my relationships, she just didn’t like Leigh. I had to mentally digest that for a while after we hung up. I don’t think she would outright lie to me, but I think she’d rather blame Leigh than acknowledge to herself that my sexuality makes her uncomfortable. We had a nice conversation, though.”

Payton grinned. “I admire your ability to find a positive no matter how deeply it may be buried.”

Ryann leaned close to Payton and looked at her gas gauge. “You have a full tank, good. May I change our plans?”

“Sure, where would you rather go?”

“Less than a mile on the right is a chicken finger place. Let’s grab a couple of baskets, then just get on the interstate and see where it leads us. I’ll fill your gas tank back up.”

When she came to a stop at a traffic light, Payton gazed at Ryann. “An impromptu adventure, you remembered? Seriously, you want to do this?”

Ryann laughed and cranked up the heater before she pushed a button and opened the sunroof. “Hell yeah.”

*******

Music blared while the last rays of sunlight faded over the Pontchartrain, and they sang Tracy Chapman’s
Fast Car
at the top of their lungs. With every mile behind them on the road to nowhere, Ryann felt freer than she had in years. She fed Payton a piece of chicken and smiled at the excitement she noted on her face.

“We have to make a decision—north, west, or east?” Payton yelled over the music.

Ryann lowered the volume on the stereo. “My vote is for east.”

“Yes!” Payton slowed and took the exit ramp to Interstate 10.

“Do you feel the tethers slipping away?”

Payton laughed. “They vaporized the second you suggested this.”

“I can drive if you get tired.”

Payton shook her head and leaned it against the seat. “No, I’m fine, thanks. My energy spiked the minute I merged onto the highway. Should we discuss limits because at this rate we’ll end up in Jacksonville, Florida, then it’s the Atlantic?”

“Well, I’m gonna need some ice cream. We can get that in Biloxi.”

“They have casinos there. Wanna play for a little while?”

“Absolutely!” Ryann’s eyes went wide when she heard a familiar tune begin on the radio. She cranked Mary J. Blige’s
Real Love
, and they began singing again.

*******

“Oh…dear God…oh…”

Ryann stared at Payton in amusement. “How long has it been since you had ice cream?”

“This isn’t a frozen dairy product, it’s an orgasm in a cone, and it’s been a year.”

“Why would you deny yourself something you so obviously enjoy?”

Payton stopped eating long enough to tuck the blanket they were wrapped in beneath her chin. They’d made a stop at a dollar store and picked it up just so they could sit on one of the benches facing the beach on the boardwalk. They could hear the water splashing on the shore, and the lights from boats twinkled in the darkness.

“I had a problem. It started when I discovered dark chocolate and cherry chunk, which quickly developed into a carton-a-week habit. Then I found chocolate praline delight, and that eventually led to chocolate-covered peanut surprise. Then one day, I found myself in the appliance department of a home improvement store shopping for a standalone freezer trying to figure how many cartons I could store in it. I’d gained ten pounds in a month’s time. I had an epiphany when I tried to bend over, and my jeans cut into my stomach. My eyeballs nearly popped out.”

Ryann chuckled. “So you went home and threw away your stash.”

“No, I went home and ate it until I got sick. Then I threw it away after I squirted dishwashing liquid on it.” Payton shrugged. “I was afraid that I’d have a weak moment and dig it back out.”

Ryann watched with a smile as Payton put what was left of her cone into her mouth and chewed slowly with her eyes closed. “Do you want the rest of mine?”

Payton inhaled deeply and shook her head. “Just give me a moment, my taste buds are grieving.”

Ryann tossed hers into a trash can nearby, and Payton’s eyes flew open.

“What did you just do?” Payton asked as though Ryann had kicked a puppy.

“It was too sweet. I asked if you wanted—don’t look at me like that.” Ryann cracked up when Payton tried to pull the blanket off of her. “You share. I’m cold now that I ate that.”

Payton scooted closer, and they were shoulder to shoulder as they stared out at the water. “You know what’s special about the sea?”

Ryann shrugged. “It’s got good stuff to eat in it?”

“Mountains have landslides, and they change. Just about everything on the earth has gone through some sort of evolution. But centuries ago, people stared at this same sight.”

“They stared at the moon, too, that’s the same, and the constellations,” Ryann added.

“I specified on the earth.”

“There were probably islands out there at one time before a hurricane—”

“And now you’ve ruined it.”

Ryann’s laughter shook them both.

“I am not going to tell you about my childhood desire to be a pirate.”

“Most of them died of scurvy.”

“Ryann!”

Ryann threw her head back and howled with laughter. “I can’t help it. Your indignant expression is a riot.”

“I would’ve been a good pirate. The indignant look you mock would’ve scared the shit out of anyone.”

“My knees are totally knocking.”

Payton grinned. “Because you’re cold. Come on, let’s go feed the machines at the casino.”

“Hey, if we stay out all night, we could go to Gulf Shores, Alabama. There’s a place that serves great breakfast there.”

Payton smiled as she stood and wrapped Ryann in the blanket. “You are awesome, I hope you know that.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

Chapter 20

“You make me sick!”

Ryann laughed as she rolled a wad of cash and stuck it into the pocket of her jacket. “Don’t be jealous, I’m going to spend all my winnings on you. Where’re we going?”

Payton shrugged. “Alabama?”

“Let’s do it. We need to stop for coffee, though.”

“Are you getting tired?”

“No, I just need that caffeine push.” Ryann laid a hand on Payton’s shoulder. “You let me know if you get tired. You spent your day moving furniture while I laid around.”

“I know you said you grew up in the country, but exactly what part?”

“Covington—well, just outside of it. We had over twenty acres of land. Sometimes it was a wonderland, and others, the loneliest place on earth. I know that sounds crazy since I have six siblings, but when I got into my teen years and discovered that I was different, I just wanted someone I could relate to. Then I got my driver’s license, and life changed,” Ryann said with a laugh. “Shelly’s already given you a good idea of what I was like then. How about you?”

“New Orleans mostly, although for a year we lived in Baton Rouge when my Uncle Trent took a job there. That sucked because I was in junior high school at that awkward age. Just as I had made some friends and started to get comfortable, we moved back to New Orleans. I went to college at UNO, and that’s where I met Jana. After graduation, I left for California, but we stayed in touch and were actually roommates for a little while when I moved back. She’s the closest thing to a sister I ever had.”

“Does it bother you to talk about your parents?”

“You want to know if I remember them.”

Ryann nodded. “Yes.”

“Not much. If I don’t look at pictures occasionally, the image of them in my mind fades. I always thought, even when I was little, that it was wrong to call my uncle Dad and his wife Mom. It seemed like I was erasing my own parents. I call them Trent and Gwen, they’ve always been fine with that. Scott calls them Mom and Dad because they’re the only parents he ever knew.” Payton pursed her lips. “I wish I had been his age when it happened. Being oblivious is sometimes a blessing. I don’t remember it, but Trent said I went through a phase where I didn’t want to be held and shunned their affection. That changed, but I never felt as comfortable as Scotty when it came to expressing my feelings for them.”

“Where were the grandparents during all of this?”

“Both pairs were very supportive. Trent said they only marginally liked each other, but after the loss, they sort of bonded. We all stayed pretty close, and unfortunately, all of them are gone except for my mother’s father, who we call Pappy. He’s in a nursing home, and Alzheimer’s has really taken its toll.”

“I was curious. You seem very centered.”

“Scott and I were very fortunate. We were surrounded by people committed to making normalcy out of chaos. Trent and Gwen were firm believers in talking about everything. They were the ones who taught me to examine whatever was going on inside of me. As a teenager, that was highly annoying.” Payton cleared her throat and lowered her voice in imitation of her uncle. ‘Darling, tell us why it was so important for you to toilet paper Principal Arceneaux’s house.’ I wanted the rapid fire rhetorical questions my friends got. What’s wrong with you? Have you lost your mind? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Are you trying to drive me insane?”

“My mother’s favorite was ‘Do you have brain damage?’” Ryann said with a laugh. “She found Shelly hogtied and gagged in the laundry room a lot. I may or may not have been lookout when that occurred.”

Payton pulled into the parking lot of a truck stop. “How about this place? They usually have good coffee and snacks.”

Ryann’s reply was a rapid exit from the car. Payton had to run to catch up with her, but once they were inside the store, they shot off in different directions. “Diet be damned,” Payton whispered, eyes wide as she picked up a bag of cherry sours. She grabbed a bag of chips to chase the sugar.

Ryann appeared with a travel pillow around her neck. “I need this.”

“Do you travel a lot?”

“No, but I still feel that I need it.” Ryann held up two rubber bracelets with tire tracks on them. “We need these.”

“Definitely.” Payton grabbed a bag of Smarties. “I think I’m gonna get an energy drink. Coffee kinda makes me queasy when I drink it late at night.” Ryann’s brow shot up, then she took off toward the cold drinks. “Could you be any more perfect?” Payton said softly with a smile as she followed.

Ryann pulled a brightly colored can from the cooler and read the label. “This one says it’ll get you where you’re going.”

Payton grabbed a can and held it up. “Mine says it’ll make your hair grow six inches.”

“Does that include legs and…other parts of the body?”

“Oh, I’m gonna find out.”

Ryann selected another can. “I’m going to ‘soar through time and space.’ Do you drink these often?”

“Rarely, way too much sugar. Tonight, however, I’m making a dietary exception. Okay, what else do we need?”

“This.” Ryann grabbed a dream catcher air freshener and headed to the register.

With her winnings, Ryann insisted on paying for everything. Once they were back in the car, she hung the dream catcher around the rearview mirror. They tore into the candy and drinks like they were starving.

“Are you trying to tell me that my car stinks, or are you prone to impulse purchases?” Payton asked.

“I’m a teacher. I’d be over my head in debt if I was impulsive. A slot machine just paid me a hundred and eighty dollars on a twenty-dollar investment, so like you, I’m making exceptions tonight. Besides, you needed some color in here.” Ryann took Payton’s hand and slipped one of the bracelets on her wrist. “This is to commemorate that we’re leaving tire tracks everywhere.”

“Thanks,” Payton said with a smile and backed out of her parking spot. “Let’s make some more.”

“You like the water, don’t you?”

“I love it,” Payton answered with a smile. “My other crazy fantasy is to sell everything I own, go down to the Keys, and find a shack to live in. I’d support myself by singing on the street corner.”

“What keeps you from doing that?”

Payton thought for a moment. “Fear.”

“Both of your fantasies involve running away. What are you trying to escape from?”

Payton glanced at Ryann. “You answer that question first. You’re the one that wanted to stow away on a train.”

“Convention, I suppose. When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to get out into the world and explore it. My dad sold the property he owned in Covington the year Shelly graduated college. Developers paid him a fortune for it. He gathered us all together one day, put checks in our hands, and said, ‘This is your inheritance, spend it wisely.’ That was a defining moment for me. Our parents paid for half of our education, and I still had my part to pay in student loans. I felt like that money burned a hole in my soul because I wanted to take it and run.”

“But you paid off the loans.”

Ryann nodded. “And put the rest in savings. It was the responsible thing to do,” she said with a sigh. “Had I gone to see the world, all I’d have now is a pocketful of memories. I’m still not sure if I did the right thing.”

“Where did you want to go?”

Ryann laughed. “Everywhere. I wanted to see the countries most people don’t even know exist, but I would’ve also liked to have stayed at a villa in Greece, watched the sun rise on the Alps, and thawed out in the tropics. I could see myself sipping tea in—my scalp is tingling, and I’m sweating.”

“You’ve been chugging that drink since we left the store, maybe you should switch to water for a while. I keep a bottle in the drink holder in the back…” Payton watched with a smile as Ryann rolled down her window and stuck her head out of it.

“It’s no wonder dogs love doing this, I smell pine,” Ryann yelled over the wind noise. “We used to have a dog that would sit at the end of the driveway and bark, and our neighbor’s dog would do the same. They’d just sit there for the longest time casually barking.” She pulled her head back into the car with a maniacal grin. “Wanna know what they were saying?”

“What?”

“Right. What. I figured it out. Chester would say, ‘What?’ The other dog would respond the same way. And Chester would say, ‘You say what to me? No, I say what to you. What?’”

Payton pursed her lips as she took Ryann’s drink from the holder and slipped it into the one behind the front seat. Then she pulled out the bottle of water and handed it to her. “Drink this, please.”

“The tunnel! We’re coming up on the Mobile tunnel! I’m hungry, we should eat again. Real food.”

Payton totally agreed because the sugar and caffeine in the energy drink was sending Ryann into overdrive. She stuck her head back out the window and howled as they drove through the tunnel. “You are so going to crash when that wears off,” Payton said with a laugh.

Ryann didn’t hear her, she was too busy yelling “What?” at a dog in another car as they passed it.

*******

“It’s just roast beef and barbecue sauce, but it’s so good.” Ryann took a bite of her sandwich and stared out the window as Payton drove south on the highway that would take them to Gulf Shores. “That’s a big outlet mall, do you like to shop?”

“I do. If it was open, I’d be very tempted to check it out. Maybe tomorrow.”

Ryann finished off the last of her sandwich and wiped her hands. “What’re we going to do now?”

Payton looked around. “Well, since it’s almost three in the morning, there’s not a lot we can do. I figure we should probably find a hotel and sleep for a few hours, unless you want to nap in the car.”

“Yes! Let’s do that. We have a blanket.”

Payton’s brow furrowed. “If you’re afraid that I’m gonna try—”

“I’m not afraid, that’s the problem. Everyone thinks I should be.” Ryann threw up her hands. “I feel happy, free. I’m not afraid of you, even though you could very well hurt me. I’m over being scared of things. You know what, though, I sense a lot of fear in you. Joke all you want, but I see it in your eyes.”

“I know,” Payton said with frustration. “It’s all so convenient. I met you, I wanted you, but you were in a relationship. Lucky for me, it was with a woman that couldn’t keep her pants up. Now you’re available. You know what? I don’t usually get what I want. My whole life has been settling for second best. I wanted to be a singer-songwriter. Instead of composing songs you hear on the radio, I write children’s educational music. I want my soul mate, but I end up dating women who think they’re squirrels. Damn right I’m scared. Here you are, so perfect, so amazing. I felt an electrical connection with you when we first met. I couldn’t shake it off.” Payton squeezed the steering wheel. “You’re like a dream, and I feel like the second I reach out to touch you, I’m gonna wake up.”

“Do I make sparks fly out of your vagina? Red light!”

Payton slammed on the brakes and came to a stop almost in the middle of an intersection. “I’m not making jokes now,” she said as she stared at Ryann.

“Sorry, I get stressed when someone yells.”

“I wasn’t yelling.”

“You were talking fast, and your voice was louder than usual. I interpreted that as yelling.”

Payton shook her head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“I’m not a dream. I’m a real human being that was affected, as well, when we met. I felt terribly guilty that night because I wanted to stay there with you and listen to you talk. You didn’t hit on me, but I knew I had your attention, and you wanted to know what I had to say. When I saw you again at Jana’s…it was like coming home. So kiss me right now. Don’t analyze it, just—”

Payton didn’t hesitate. She grabbed the collar of Ryann’s jacket and devoured Ryann’s mouth. The kiss felt like an explosion. When they pulled apart, Payton thought the flashing lights were the remnants of the fireworks she felt.

“I just got you in trouble. I’m sorry.”

Ryann’s words didn’t register until an air horn shattered the silence, and a voice sounded over a speaker. “Driver, pull into the parking lot on your right.”

*******

“Our first kiss was filled with lights and sirens,” Ryann said as they walked along the beach wrapped in the blanket together like a two-headed monster.

Payton laughed. “And a sobriety test. Even though I haven’t consumed any alcohol, I felt a little drunk.”

“That’s a good sign. I’m still buzzing a little bit, too.”

“That’s probably the energy drink.”

“No, that’s all gone because my legs are feeling a little rubbery,” Ryann said with a chuckle.

Payton turned them around and headed back toward the car. So many things raced through her sleepy brain. She tried to remember the conversation before the kiss word for word, but it was a jumble. All she could really hold on to was that Ryann had admitted that she’d felt the same connection when they met, and her heart soared.

The car was parked in an empty public lot designated for beachgoers. It was just a small strip of pavement off the highway, but Payton felt they’d be safe there for a few hours. She opened Ryann’s door and helped her inside.

“Will you sleep?” Ryann asked as Payton climbed into the driver’s seat and tilted the steering wheel up.