Nice Girl (4 page)

I would be a
strong confident woman
.  Tough but fair.  In dreams, I could easily see this persona among the students.  Would I be the same way though at the faculty meetings in a field dominated by men?  Here is where my mental images always got fuzzy.  It was as if my brain turned off there.  Like I wouldn’t let myself go any further.  I knew how I felt around men, especially powerful ones.  And, oh my goodness, what if there was a colleague I was attracted to?  Then, I was done.  I would feel inadequate like I did after every sexual experience.  

Stop it now!
  I told myself.  This is exactly the negative thinking that was going to crush me
. 

You will not show any weakness.  You are a strong confident woman that doesn’t get pushed around.

The new me began her life in New York City at 130 pounds.  I felt that small first victory.  I still wanted to lose more but I reveled in the fact that I was one size smaller.  Losing weight is hard for me.  I was on my way.  I hoped this was the foretelling on how my radical adventure was going to proceed. 

As I kept up the positive thinking, the 15 hour drive went without a hitch.  My father had given me extra money for a hotel room.  He wasn’t comfortable with me driving straight through.  I was impatient and too wired to get there.   So I didn’t stop for the night.   As I approached the city, I started to have second thoughts.  The stop and go traffic with cars swerving in and out of lanes made me realize how sleep deprived I was.  I felt my knuckles turning white as I gripped the steering wheel like it was a life vest.  To me, I must have appeared as one of those old lady drivers that people veered around with a look like “what are you doing on the road?”  I made it in one piece.  I saw the university sign and felt a higher power looking over at me.  Within two blocks, my dorm came into view.

Halleluiah!  I made it
.  I couldn’t wait to unload and call the rental company to make arrangements to return the car.  I was never going to drive in New York City again.  Navigating these streets, I decided right there and now, was not part of the new me.

I loved my new dorm building.  As I passed other students in the halls, you could tell we were the “older” crowd.  I felt odd thinking of myself in that way.  I guess, though, when you consider the maturity level of underclassmen, in the college realm, I was the adult now.   We were graduate students.  We had a different focus to our studies. I had a feeling there wouldn’t be wild parties, drunks wandering the halls or someone trying to find a bed because their roommate was having sex.  I was fine with that.  It didn’t fit anymore of what I needed to become. 

Graduate housing also meant your own room which I wasn’t used to in my underclassmen experience.  We all had studios with kitchenettes.  I relished the idea of privacy.  To be able to get up early and work out in my bra and panties if I wanted to.  To be able to think and dream without another person interrupting your thoughts.  I was in heaven.

The very next day, I wanted to take advantage of my upbeat mood and start looking for a part time job.   My classes did not start until tomorrow so I had all day to focus on finding some sort of extra income.  My babysitting money was good but I did already blow half of it on new clothes.  I had in my head that I would not be waitressing or working in fast food.  I was going to get some sort of office job.  It would be “resume” worthy to pave the way to my future career.  Therefore, the clothes I bought reflected the style I was going for.  Pencil skirts, silk shirts, sexy but not too high heels.  I wanted to project the image of a woman going places.  I bought clothes that screamed out sureness.  

As I went over the college’s job listings, my optimistic attitude was quickly diminishing.   I was well behind the other first year graduate students that actually got their act together and started in the fall.  All of the listings for research assistants or tutors had messages in red labeled “filled”.  Even the not for profit listings were already taken.  After an hour of reading every damn listing and finding nothing outside of retail or food service, I decided it was time for a caffeine jolt.  I refused to get depressed so early in the game.  A nice comforting mocha latte was in order.

I knew in any big city, if you walked enough blocks in any one direction, you would reach a Starbucks.   I tried not to let it get to me that I saw several help wanted signs during my walk.  One was for a nail technician.  I thought of Dee and her obsession with her nails.  This made me miss home which I quickly told myself to snap out of.    Another help wanted sign was for a bartender.  Great.  Drunk guys coming on to me because they were horny or desperate.  Exactly the type of situation that I was going to stay as far away from as possible. 

Within three blocks, I found a Starbucks. 

I left Starbucks sipping my gratification with a certain pride that I only ordered a small.  Now wasn’t the time to pack on more calories.  It was my goal to get to 120.  I sighed as I thought of the pressure I was putting on myself.   A quick feeling of despair that I bought office clothes and was going to be flipping burgers or worse yet, scooping ice cream, until I spotted a yellow help wanted sign across the street. 

Well you might as well take a look. 

Wanted Secretary for private investigator office. 

Hmmm.  At first, the word “secretary” turned me off.  Thoughts immediately about serving men flooded my brain.  But I couldn’t get past the idea of working in a private investigator office.  It sounded exciting ……actually thrilling.    After an entire morning of open job listings that were the exact opposite of anything stimulating, I was intrigued.  I stood there staring at the sign and thinking about the kind of cases a private investigator works on.    Would it be dangerous?  Scandalous? 

“Are you looking for a job?” a male voice interrupted my thoughts.

I turned to look at an adorable man not much older than me.  That was the first word that came to my mind?  Adorable?    Yet he was so cute, I almost wanted to giggle.  He looked about five feet seven or eight.  Not tall but not overly short.  He wasn’t dressed for office wear but he had on nice clean jeans and a Ralph Lauren polo shirt.  The shirt was a bright green which on a hanger would look kind of loud but on him, it looked perfect.    He was cleanly shaven, had nice features, and a friendly smile.  I wasn’t attracted to him in
that
way which was a good thing.  He was way too skinny for my taste.  As Janie would say, “The guy has to be able to pick me up!”

Hold it right there girl.  You see the first cute guy and you immediately size him up?  Remember why you are here and get a grip!

I cleared my throat “Yes, I am looking for a job but I don’t know if this would work for me.”  I try to sound self-assured.

“Why is that?”

Okay, now how do I not insult him? 
“I’m a graduate student at John Adams.   I was looking for a more research oriented position or a teaching job.”

“Basically you’re looking at padding the resume, huh?  I guess a secretary is a step down.”  He laughed.  Of course he also had to have an adorable laugh.

I blushed.  God, how pathetic.  So much for
strong woman
.  I can’t even inquire about a job without turning red if I’m looking at a handsome guy. 

“I wouldn’t say a step down.”  I quickly added “I’m just looking for something that relates to my studies.”  Okay, that was an answer that showed some poise.

“What is your major?” 

“Criminology.”

His eyes lit up.  “Are you kidding me?  This place will be perfect.  Don’t get thrown off by the secretary label.  Come in and hear more about it.  Will you?”  He was already practically dragging me through the door.  It wasn’t in a caveman way.  It was just assertive.  His hand was just barely guiding me on my elbow. 

“Anthony!”  He yelled “We have our new secretary.”

Then his voice got lower.  “Oh, but we don’t like secretary.  What do you think your title should be instead?  Oh yeah, and what’s your name?”

“My name is Grace Locke and my title should be….”  I looked around the office.  God what a mess.  You couldn’t sit down anywhere.  The greeting area was filled with boxes stacked one on top of the other.  The front desk was just a table.  There was a Dell computer still in its box.  No wonder they needed a secretary.  Actually they needed a maid.

“Office Manager.”  I finished my sentence.  I nodded my head to him so that he could see it was my final offer.

Then there was the enigmatic smile again.  “Love it!  Office manager!  As you can see, that is definitely what we need.  My name’s Jamie by the way.”  Then he held his hand to shake mine.  We both said at the same time, “Nice to meet you.”  And then I think we giggled in unison. 

Can a guy giggle?  I guess one that can wear a bright green polo shirt can.

As we were shaking hands in an over the top obnoxious way, the guy I assumed was named Anthony came around the corner.

“Well Jamie, did you already hire her?”  It was the thickest New York accent I had heard in the 24 hours since I’d been there.  Anthony wasn’t too much taller than Jamie but with tougher features.  I wouldn’t call him hardened but I had a feeling he did not lose too many fights.  He looked like a stereotypical New York Italian.  He had a full head of dark hair, olive skin, and piercing dark eyes.  There was definitely something
creepy
about him.     I had a feeling I’d figure it out if I worked here.  I didn’t feel necessarily threatened but just that Anthony looked the role of the immoral private investigator.    Maybe I was judging him too harshly by all my criminology mob studies.  Whatever the case was, Anthony would be good practice for my challenge.  If I could be confident around him, then I would definitely succeed in the cut throat world of male professors. 

“Anthony, this is Grace and yes, she will be perfect.  I already gave her a promotion.  Office Manager.   It kind of rolls of the tongue better, don’t you think? ” He winked at me.  

“Jamie, you don’t mind if I INTERVIEW her first since I am the owner of the company.”  Anthony was trying to sound stern but you could tell he wasn’t really mad at Jamie.

“Go ahead but just so you know, you’d be a fool if you don’t hire her.”  I wasn’t sure how Jamie could be so convinced considering he just met me.  “I WILL catch up with you later Grace.” He shouted behind him as he went down the hall. 

Man oh Man, I think he was flirting with me.  NO!  I cannot deal with this now.  I’m sure he is just overly friendly.

“This way to my office, Grace.” I followed Anthony to the last office down the hall.  We passed by three other offices.  One of them was Jamie’s. I heard him whistling what I thought was a Broadway tune as we passed by his office.

“Is that from Wicked?”

“Yes” said Anthony and he rolled his eyes.  “Here we are.  Grace, please have a seat.” 

He was quite professional.  His office was huge and in much better shape than the lobby.  He had one of those expensive mahogany desks that had neatly stacked piles of paperwork.  He motioned me to one of the two chairs that faced the desk.  As soon as I sat down, it brought back memories of school shopping with my Mom.  I would get tired and plop down in those overly priced desk chairs in the office supply stores.  Once I sat down in that cushiony leather that was soft as a baby’s bottom, I didn’t want to get up.  That was what Anthony’s chairs felt like.  The guy sure knew how to fill his office with luxury.

“I apologize, Anthony.  I’m really not dressed for an interview.  Jamie kind of dragged me inside.”

Sitting in his grand sumptuous office, I became suddenly aware of my black jeans, John Adams logo tee, and hair in a ponytail.  I’m sure I looked 16 years old. 

“Jamie dragged you in?  Not shocked there.  Don’t worry about it.  You will find that we are quite casual here.  Let me tell you a little bit about what we’re looking for and then you, not Jamie, can decide if you want to work for us.  As you can see, we are in the need of a woman’s touch.”  I rolled my eyes at that one.  Score one for strong confident woman.  “My partner and I started this business two years ago.”

“Jamie?”  I asked

“No, Jamie is one of my employees.  He’s our technical surveillance expert actually.  My partner is Vinnie Lewis.  He’s on the way back from serving a subpoena.  You will meet him shortly.  Vinnie and I have been a little shocked at how quickly our business grew.  We knew there was a demand but now we find we cannot even keep up with the phone.  A year ago, we hired Jamie and with his talent, our caseload blew up.  We moved to this office only two months ago.  As you can see, we haven’t even unpacked boxes.  We just hired a new employee.  His name is Jamal and he starts next week.  That is how crazy the workload has been.  We can’t wait for Jamal to get started.  We know we need help in keeping the office running, especially when we’re out on cases.  We are looking for someone organized and also intelligent.  I can’t tell you how many bird brains I’ve interviewed so far. “ 

I wasn’t sure how I felt about the bird brain comment.  Was it a sexist thing or was I being overly sensitive?  Whatever the case, I wasn’t worried about appearing dumb.  I could shove my GPA down his Neanderthal throat.

“We need a woman who doesn’t get flustered easily.  Vinnie is, how shall I say….. a total asshole.  I can also be one at times.   We don’t have a lot of patience.  Most our cases are fascinating.  Private investigators seem to have this reputation that all we do is catch adulterers.    We do get some of those cases.  But we also serve subpoenas and investigate insurance claims.  It is kind of fun to catch that guy who is out on disability lifting weights at the gym.”  He chuckled and then went on, “You will be handling the paperwork.  Starting a filing system.  If you find any of these scenarios remotely interesting, you will enjoy setting up the appointments.  Well, I’m doing a lot of the talking.  What is your interest in our office?”

“I have to be honest with you.  I wasn’t looking for a secretary position.”